A Touch of Grace

"Oh, this is good." Bryan took a seat, Claire beside him. The noises were a little less here, and they could see the beautiful backyard of the pub which was crowded too. "You comfy?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Claire took a sip of her drink, felt she'd almost forgotten how much she loved that cocktail. "Umm...I didn't think I'd ever ask...but I'm really curious..."

"About what?" Bryan sipped his drink, visibly relishing it. Claire hesitated, but it'd be now or never.

"What happened to your wife?"

Bryan smiled sadly, shaking his head. "I never had a wife," he said quietly.

"Oh." Claire swallowed, wondering if they should be having that conversation. Then she took another sip of her drink, finding courage. "So...Grace's mom?"

Bryan looked at her, his face serious. "You really want to know?"

Claire nodded. "Okay." Bryan sighed, put his drink down. "About seven or eight years ago, I had an itch to travel the world. Like a backpacker. Just hop from one country to another...see the world. I wasn't into our business yet, was only 28, so I thought of making the most of life."

He paused, sipped his drink. "I met a woman in Vienna. Maria. She was a few years older than me, a travelling DJ. We became friends, then we fell in love. I'd never fallen that hard before. She was so beautiful, so magical...so..." He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if trying to stifle the memory. "Anyway, so we fell in love, she came to live with me, and we lived together for a year."

He leaned back in the chair, his gaze low. He picked up his drink again, cradling the glass in his hands. "We made Grace," he said softly. "It wasn't planned or anything. She didn't want the baby, didn't want to be tied down. But I wanted it. I think I fell in love with Grace even before she was born, when I saw her grainy in-utero image on the screen... But Maria was adamant. We fought over it all the time."

Claire had forgotten her drink, was listening in rapt attention.

"The morning after Grace was born," he continued. "I got a call from the hospital. I'd come home late at night, had dozed off when the phone rang. "They said that Maria was missing."

Claire's mouth dropped open, but nothing came out. Bryan looked at her, nodded guiltily.

"Missing...as in?" She finally managed.

"As in...ran away. She'd run way from the hospital in the dead of night, when nobody was around." He laughed bitterly. "Grace was born at thirty weeks, weighed less than two pounds, didn't cry at birth... We got to know about two weeks before her birth that she had a heart problem... Only when I reached hospital that morning did I know that she had this rare, incurable heart condition. I didn't know what was worse—Maria running away or Grace being sick."

He ran a hand across his face, looking tired. "I don't know how she did that, you know," he sighed. "I mean, she laboured for ten hours, held her baby, knew she was sick...and she abandoned her. Like bloody ran away!"

Claire reached out, squeezed his shoulder. "Did you search for her?" she asked.

"No. I was too busy with Grace. She had a heart surgery at four days...I..." He made a vague gesture with his hands, tears filling his eyes. "What mother does that? I'm a man, I could never think of doing that, and she bloody gave birth to her... Like...."

He covered his face with his hands. Claire put her arms around him, trying to comfort him. Bryan had never broken down in front of her, he was always so strong. This seemed like a different person.

"I never forgave her," he finally said, his voice muffled by his hands. "Never will. She could've taken Grace along, I wouldn't mind. But what she did..." He shook his head, picking up his drink again. "I hated myself for a long time, for choosing someone like her."

"You couldn't have known..." She said, stroking his back. "You're a good dad. Don't hate yourself."

"Yeah." He straightened his body, gave her a grateful smile. "I did see her name in the paper once," he said. "Two years ago. She was performing at some festival."

"Why didn't you get in touch with her somehow?" she asked, her hand still on his shoulder. "She couldn't escape from her duties like that..."

"To be honest, I wouldn't take her back even if she did return. And then we were busy with Grace, one surgery after another... I didn't have energy or desire for anything else." He tipped his head back, gulping down the rest of the drink and plonking the glass down on the table. "If I know her, she's probably with someone else," he hissed from the alcohol on his tongue. "Good riddance. She'd be a terrible mother anyway. Someone who hated her baby even before she was born could never be a good mom. Grace didn't need that."

He looked at her, his face close to hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Did I say too much?"

Claire shook her head, going back to her drink. The pub was only getting more crowded. "Were your parents pissed off because of what happened?" she asked hesitantly.

"Tell me about it," he laughed hoarsely. "They never liked her. So when she abandoned us, they said: we knew it was coming." He turned in his seat, gazing at the crowded backyard. "But they've always loved Grace. She's my child, right? She even looks like me.... I couldn't have done it without them."

"So you've been single since?"

"Umm...I did hook up with two women in the last few years, but they began and ended in the bedroom. I wasn't ready for a relationship, not with Grace being sick and needing me."

Claire finished the last of her drink, put the glass down on the table. She sat back, staring at the crowded dance floor.

...shit.

"Oh shit." She whispered, turning away and covering the side of her face. Bryan looked at her.

"What?"

"My ex." She buried her face in her hands, not wanting him to see her. Too late. He already had.

"He's heading this way," Bryan craned his neck.

"Stop gawking." She looked through the gap in her fingers, found the same girl with him. Blonde hair, big breasts, fake tan.

"Got it." Bryan grabbed her wrist, and before Claire could say anything she was being pulled close. So close, she could feel his heart beating. "I'm your boyfriend."

"Are you?"

"Yep. Just go with it." Bryan glanced over. Claire did too, afraid she'd see Brad standing right next to them. But it appeared he'd stopped in his tracks, was a few feet from the dance floor, looking hesitant. Claire looked back at Bryan.

"Thanks."

"It's fine." His hand came up to cup her face, his breath on her face. She felt her heart speeding up, trying to feel uncomfortable but actually enjoying the closeness. "He's the one that cheated on you?"

"Yeah." Brad was still standing there, though the girl had come over, was tugging gently on his hand and gesturing at the bar. "Or he had...an affair I guess. I suppose it's cheating if they do it once, not for six fucking months with the same girl."

"Bastard." Bryan leaned in, his head against her neck. Claire closed her eyes, putting her arms around his strong body, feeling the muscles underneath that jumper, his stubble against her skin. "He didn't deserve you."

"No." She glanced over from the corner of her eyes, found Brad gone. "I know that now."

Bryan looked at her face, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Claire smiled back, running her hand down his chest, gripping his scarf and pulling him closer.

Their lips met. It was probably unintentional, but they couldn't care. It turned into a kiss, his lips parting against hers. Claire made a noise of surprise but it was followed rapidly by a tongue meeting hers, soft and gentle, a hand coming up to hold her face still while they both tilted into it. Bryan tasted good. Really good. Felt good, fingers curving to her cheek, brushing her ear while a gasping breath hummed between them, Bryan sucking in air while they connected again, Claire moaning softly at the feel of teeth scraping gently over her bottom lip.

"Oh." Claire was panting slightly when they broke the kiss, the noise around them suddenly coming back into focus. "I..." She looked around. Brad was no longer anywhere around, had probably dissolved into the crowd.

"Yeah...so." Bryan picked up the empty glasses, looking around him. "This place is getting more crowded. You want to get out of here?"

"Sure." She was standing up, her palms burning. Bryan started walking towards the bar, and she followed him, navigating through the crowd and trying to not bump into others. She heaved a sigh when they were finally out on the street again.

"So." They looked at each other and laughed. She tied the belt of her longline sweater that had come undone, felt her hands trembling slightly. Bryan was gentle. So gentle that it made her ache.

"You okay?" he asked softly. She nodded.

"What do you do when Grace isn't staying with you?" She asked, matching steps with him. Bryan shrugged.

"Nothing much, really. It doesn't happen often either. Twice or thrice month, maybe. I cannot stay without her. The house seems so empty when she isn't around. So I usually take her back home when I return from work." He smiled at her. "I've become quite a bore lately. Just sit at home, watch a movie or something, until my brother or my friends drag me somewhere."

"Sounds like me," she giggled. "Umm...I've been wondering..."

"What?" Bryan raised an eyebrow.

"Would you...would you want to come to my place....you know, have dinner or something..."

"Uh....Okay." He stopped, fished out his phone. "I'll just check on Grace, alright? If she's okay..."

"Yeah. Sure." Claire hailed a taxi in the meanwhile and they got in.

"Dad?" Bryan spoke on the phone. "Yeah, she's okay? Oh, that's fine. She had her medicines, right? Fine...yeah." He laughed at something. "She's a sweetheart. Yeah. I'll pick her in the morning, okay? Yes, sure. Thanks so much, dad. Goodnight."

He put the he phone back in his pocket with a smile. Such a caring daddy.

"She's fine?" Claire asked. He nodded.

"Asleep." He smiled at her. "She demanded three stories tonight. Dad said he'll have to make up stories now."

Claire laughed, leaning back. She didn't know why she was taking him home. It would be nice to have dinner together, although she'd have to cook something real quick. But it wasn't food she was thinking of. It was something else...something that...

She felt Bryan's hand on hers, looked at him, met his gaze.

"Thanks," he whispered. "For not thinking I'm an arsehole after knowing my story."

Claire only smiled back, giving his hand a soft squeeze. For the rest of their way home, their hands remained entwined, detaching only when they arrived in front of her house and had to pay the fare.

"No, I'll pay," Claire stopped him when he proceeded to pull out his wallet.

"But—"

"You paid for my drink. I pay for the ride. It's my house, after all."

Claire laughed when Bryan threw his hands up and admitted defeated. "Come on," she smiled, getting off and walking in the gate of her house. "It's been a few days, so everything is still new..."

"It's cosy." He looked around as she unlocked the door, turned on the light. She walked in, hanging the keys on the wall. Bryan walked in slowly, hands inside his pockets. "Suits you," he smiled quietly, shutting the door. "Pretty, neat...warm."

"Talking about yourself?" she chuckled.

"I'm pretty?"

Claire giggled, walking closer to him. Bryan smiled, pulled her near to him. "I think you're pretty great," she whispered, tilting her face up to his. "Especially at kissing."

Bryan smirked. "You liked it?"

"If I didn't, I would've pushed you away," she laughed.

"Oh. It's cold outside. Please don't push me away."

Claire giggled, as a soft kiss pressed onto her forehead. She sighed, melting into him. Bryan held her, his chest rising and falling against her body.

"I have to make dinner," she announced, wishing she'd planned this in advance. "I...umm..." She looked up at his face. "Do you want to order in?"

"I don't mind." He smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Your house, you decide."

"Okay." She pulled away, fishing out her phone. "Would you like to look around the house in the meanwhile?" she asked, smiling nervously. "I haven't really had guests here since I moved in, so..."

"I'd love to." Bryan smiled, pulled off his scarf. "Is that you?" he asked, when a framed photograph on the wall caught his eye. Claire nodded.

"It was a couple of years ago. That's my brother and his wife."

"Oh." He moved closer to the picture, looking intently at it. "You're beautiful."

"In the picture?"

"No, all the time." He turned back to glance at her. "You don't think so?"

Claire shrugged. "I grew up hearing my lips are too thick, my eyes are too icy and don't go with my hair." She undid the belt of her sweater, letting it hang loose. "My mom still keeps telling me I'm too thin and don't have curves or big breasts."

She gazed at the floor, her eyes welling up. "Maybe Brad went to somebody else because I'm not busty or curvy or..."

Bryan had turned around, was staring at her with a tired look on his face.

"When will you stop being miserable?" He walked up to her, put his hands on her hips and pulled her close. "Come here."

He kissed her, and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down his jumper, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest.

His mouth travelled to her neck, and she flinched when his stubble made contact with her skin. She felt kisses, sighs, little nibbles. Then he was kissing her mouth again, like not able to get enough.

She tugged at his jumper. "Take it off," she whispered. "It's warm in here."

"I was going to take it off anyway," he smirked, pulling the jumper over his head to reveal a long sleeve tee. The jumper was tossed aside on to the floor. "Your turn," he crossed his arms.

Claire's sweater was gone without thinking, and her pants too. There she was, clad in black underwear, in front of a man who had come to her house for the first time. Yet strangely, she felt no unease, no discomfort. Like she'd been waiting for this all along.

Bryan's mouth was on her skin again, nibbling away, making her giggle. His hands slid down her spine, unhooking her bra, reaching the waistband of her panties. Claire held the slackened bra to her bosom, keeping it from falling off.

"There." She gestured at her bedroom, bit her lip shyly. Bryan took off his tee, revealing a broad, strong torso, pulled her close, and picked her up.

"No!" She squealed, flinging her legs. "Let me down!"

"We're here already." He put her down on the bed, laughing at her reaction. "You're ticklish?"

"No. I just don't like to be lifted-- Hey! Stop that!" She squirmed as Bryan held her ankles when she tried to crawl up and switch on a light, and pulled her down again. Before she knew it, sharp wetness was sucking at her ankles. She looked down to find him nibbling gently.

When was the last time it was like that? Playful and fun. She didn't remember, but it was a bad time for thinking anyway.

Bryan came up to her, his body hovering over hers. Claire stared, a hand running down his chest smattered with light brown hair.

"I love your eyes." Bryan's hand came up to stroke her head. "They're a very rare shade of blue."

"Ice blue." She clarified, tilting her body to meet his lips. Bryan bent low, tongue dipping into her mouth, hot breath mingling with hers. His hands ran down her lithe body, caressing the curve of her neck, her smooth arms, then finally removing the unhooked bra that she had been holding against her breasts so long. Claire broke the kiss and hid her face in the crook of his neck when she felt his warm palms cup her breasts, sending a shiver down her spine.

She bit her lip when he bent to put his mouth around a nipple, sucking gently. Claire gasped, involuntary reaching between her legs. Bryan held her hand.

"I'll take care of you," he whispered, grabbing her wrists and pinning them on either side on the mattress. Then he kissed her neck, softly biting the skin and then soothing it with his tongue. Through his denims, Claire could feel his arousal pressing against her. If it was anything to go by, she'd be walking funny tomorrow.

"I... Oh god." She felt liquid heat running through her body when he dipped two fingers inside the waistband of her panties and pulled it off gently.

"No, let me look at you." Bryan spread her legs when she tried to hold on to the last bit of modesty by crossing one leg over the other. "You're beautiful."

"Please." A low giggle trembled in her throat, which immediately turned into a moan when he started to kiss her inner thighs. His stubble brushed against her skin, sending little jolts of electricity through her body. And when he stuck out his tongue to lick at her wetness, her eyes rolled back behind closed eyelids.

"Claire?" His voice sounded concerned. When he came back up and looked down at her face, there were tears rolling down her temples. "What's happening?" he asked gently. "You okay?"

Claire nodded, bit her lip, reached up to touch his face. Bryan held her hand, kissed it. She turned her face away, tried to hold back a sob.

"Claire, are you really alright?" Bryan asked, moving her hair out of her face. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No...I just..." She breathed in, pulling his face down to kiss his forehead. "I've never felt such tenderness...such..."

Her words were broken by Bryan kissing him. Teeth bit her lower lip, tongue fighting with hers. His hand reached down in the meanwhile, finding her womanhood, bending a finger to stroke. Claire's head tipped back, body arching.

"Need you." The words were gasped against his ear. "I'm aching for you."

Bryan stared to undo his jeans. "Oh no." He stopped, looked around in confusion. "I don't have condoms."

"God." Claire raised a hand to cover her face, shaking her head. "We're doomed."

"The pharmacies are still open," Bryan said. "Do you...want me to...?"

Claire looked at him, eyes wide. "Seriously? With that?" she pointed at his bulge. Bryan rolled his eyes, still standing there with his fly open.

"Wait. Let me..." Claire dragged herself up the bed, until she could reach her bag on the side table. She rummaged through the contents, hoping to find an old unused condom she had forgotten to throw out while discarding the things that reminded her of her ex.

No luck.

"I don't... Wait a minute." She saw the small zip near the bottom of the bag, opened it to discover two unused condoms there. She held them up jubilantly.

Bryan laughed. "Is your bag a magic producer of condoms?" He took them from her hand, was already tearing one with his teeth.

Claire shrugged, putting the bag back on the table. "Or maybe I was hoping for something," she smiled quietly, as he got rid of his pants and underwear, and rolled on the rubber. Than he crawled back to her, smirking.

"Go slow." She whispered against his ear when he kissed her neck. "It's been more than six months."

"It's been more than three years." He kissed her again, their lips already kiss-swollen. She fell back on the bed, rolling on to her side as he kissed her naked flesh, as if worshipping every inch.

He turned to his left side and spooned his body against hers. She felt his chest hair against her bare back, his lips ghosting all across her neck and face. Claire held his arm and folded it across her waist, twisting her head to claim his lips.

"Make love to me," she whispered. He stroked his hand down her sides, idly circling his fingers on the soft skin of her hip as he kissed her bare shoulder. His lips curled into a smile against her skin as soft sighs left her lips. He kissed along her back, his hand cupping her right breast and circling the nipple with his finger, gradually making the darker flesh harden at his ministrations and gather in a peak.