Sailing To Survive

The senior guy replied, "Maybe you shouldn't have told me that. The idea of the reviewer being reviewed gives me the shakes." The other men at the table laughed and the mood in the room relaxed noticeably. "All right, let us proceed. Commander the floor is yours."

One of the officers stood and said, "I represent the Navy and its official record of the incident involving the kidnapped girls in Afghanistan and the resulting failed attempt to rescue them. The Navy feels that a sufficient review was undertaken at the time and that the record should stand as written."

"Very well. It is now up to Captain Meyers here to present new and additional material that might challenge this record. Captain, please begin."

"Thank you admiral. Our new information comes in two forms. First, Dr. Larson has uncovered new material that was not available at the time of the initial review hearing and that the story of the SEAL team involved was not complete. Therefore, I will start by asking Mr. Stuart Michaels several questions to establish what we are about to hear." The admiral nodded.

"Mr. Michaels, you were the second in command of the squad that day, were you not?"

"Yes sir. I was the senior enlisted man and the CO designated me as his backup for the mission."

"Very good. The commanding officer was killed during the mission and that made you the acting CO. Correct?"

"Yes sir."

"The first question we would like for clarification is why there is no record of you or your teams debriefing after the mission. Can you explain that?"

'I can explain it but do not know why. The truth is we were never asked for a debriefing report. Not on our return to base nor at any time after that. We were told to stand down and rest and not discuss the mission even between ourselves."

The admiral spoke up, "That would be highly irregular. Are you certain of this, Mr. Michaels?"

Before I could answer, Captain Meyers turned to the others on my team and asked, "Gentlemen, can you confirm what Mr. Michaels just reported." All of their heads nodded. One of them added, "I even asked about it and was told to not worry about it and keep my mouth shut."

Captain Meyers turned back to the admiral and said, "I realize that everything that Mr. Michaels will be telling is a personal story from his point of view. The other members of the team saw things from a different perspective as we will explain in a moment. They have not spoken to each other for some time and I asked them to voluntarily come today to offer their version of events such as this. As you can see, they all confirm that there was no debriefing. As the record also shows, none of the participants testified at the official hearing."

The admiral frowned and replied, "You definitely have my full attention from this point forward. Proceed."

"Thank you. Let's go back to the beginning. Mr. Michaels. Prior to the mission, were you involved in any of the preliminary briefings leading up to the mission?"

"No sir. The CO attended those and then briefed us on the plan and mission data that was available."

"What did he tell you and your reaction to it?"

"He explained that it was a straight forward rescue mission at a mountain top compound held by the Taliban. He reported that they expected between ten and twelve Taliban and that minimal resistance was expected. I felt uneasy about this as the Taliban were not known to offer minimal resistance at any time."

Meyers turned to the others and asked the others for confirmation. He got nodded agreement. Then he turned back and asked, "Did the mission go as planned?"

"No sir, it did not."

"I have a map of the local area, please explain."

"May I stand and point things out on the map?"

"Please do."

"In our briefings, we were told that we would be dropped here which was about four miles from the compound. We were to hike a trail along this ridge and take up positions along here and here before we were to being our operation. As the sniper, I was to be stationed on top of this hill here to be able to cover the compound. I do not know for sure whether it was planned or by accident, but we were dropped here; less than a mile from the compound and straight up hill to the gates. The CO sent me over here to this hill on the other side to take up position. The rest of the team began moving up the hill in this area until the shooting started. They took cover along this line."

Meyers turned to the other team members and got a unanimous confirmation of what I had described.

"Do you know who started the shooting?"

"I was not in position on top of the hill yet to see what happened but based on the sound of the weapons, it was the Taliban and their AK-47s."

"What happened after that?"

"As I got in position, I saw a number of Taliban shooting down at the team and our guys firing back as they could find a target. I scanned the area through my scope and could tell that there were a lot more Taliban than ten or twelve. I..."

"Excuse me for a clarifying question. Your weapon that day was a standard .50 caliber sniper rifle?"

"Yes, it was our standard except that a videoscope had been added as a trial. Someone had a new scope that taped the scene. I had never used one before but had heard that we were trying them out. All I had to do was switch the safety off and the scope recorded whatever I pointed it at."

"Thank you. We will come back to that later. Please continue."

I could feel the tension in the room increase dramatically as I began to speak again. "The gate opened and a man stepped out waving a white flag. I heard the CO yell to cease fire. All of the firing stopped. The CO stood and watched as the man pulled on a rope. It pulled the ten girls out all tied together with explosives around their bodies. I..." The tears began to run. No one said a word until I found my voice again. "I...I saw movement in the second story balcony and focused in on a man standing there. That smug bastard just stood there behind the balcony wall and looked down at the scene in front of him. I put the cross hairs right on his forehead. I knew in my heart what he was planning to do. He looked up in my direction and I could see the mocking smile on his face as he lifted the cell phone towards his face. I was praying for him to not do it but I knew he would. He was going to push that damn button and laugh while he did it. And then the son of bitch did it. He pressed the button and I heard the explosion. I pulled the trigger and blew that mother fucker's head off." I fell silent as the tears just poured down my face. I felt two pairs of hands on me and a bottle of water was pressed to my lips.

It might have taken a minute or five minutes before anyone spoke. It was Captain Meyers and he asked, "What did you do after that?"

"Honestly, after that, everything was a fog. I heard the fighting below but I simply worked my way back down the hill. I wasn't keeping an eye out for anyone. I just climbed down the hill beating the crap out of myself for not shooting the mother fucker before he pushed the button."

"Why didn't you?"

I screamed, "I was ordered to cease fire. I should have broken that fucking order and fired but I didn't. I followed the fucking order."

"It's all right, Stuart. Just tell us the rest of what happened."

"When I got back down the hill, the shooting had stopped. Our guys had killed all of the rest of them. There were between thirty and forty of them. Frankly, I didn't care. I put my rifle down and got a trenching tool and began digging a hole. Then I started picking up the parts of the girls that I could find and put them in the hole. They deserved better than being splattered all over that worthless compound. Several of the other guys came and helped me. I don't know how long we worked but we finally filled the hole back in and one of the guys asked if we should call for a pickup. I said yes and then muttered to myself something like 'and call in an airstrike and turn this place into a junk heap.' Thirty minutes later, the helicopters picked us up. As we were boarding four F-18s came in and blew the top of the mountain into rubble. Then we flew back to camp."

"Two last questions, Stuart; you said that you put your rifle against the wall but never mentioned it again. Did you use it again or take it with you?"

"No, I fired that one shot and all I remember after that was when I got on the helicopter, someone handed it to me. That's all."

"When you landed, what happened to the videoscope and tape?"

"I really don't know. A man named Baxter or Baker or something like that took it off the rifle and I never saw it again. The tape or at least parts of it were shown at the hearing two weeks later."

"That's fine, Stuart. I hope that telling this for the first time will help you heal. None of the rest of your team saw what you saw but they corroborate the parts that they did see. And as a sailor, I want you to know that you are not responsible for what happened. You obeyed orders. The other side was responsible for what they did."

"Thank you but I still wish I had fired twenty seconds earlier. Maybe one of those girls would still be alive today."

"I can think of three or four times in my career that I wish I had disobeyed orders too. You are a strong man, Stuart. You will survive well. Thank you. Sorry for the editorial here, admiral."

"Don't apologize; I think all of us understand what Stuart felt and what you told him. Let's take a ten minute break, shall we?"

Suddenly, I was surrounded by Emily, Sylvia and all of my team mates. They all were saying that they never know about that part of the story. My head was buzzing with words and sounds until I heard the admiral call things to order again.

"Mr. Michaels, we appreciate your report and acknowledge that this was a painful memory for you. As Captain Meyers said, please do not feel guilty for doing your job and following orders. None of us can foretell the future but we can all grieve about that past. Now, Captain Meyers, do you have more?"

"Yes sir, we do. As passionate and meaningful as Mr. Michaels' report was, it is still one man's report without confirmation by others. I turn the hearing over to Dr, Larson to provide additional information."

"Thank you Captain Meyers; Admiral, as the Captain said, without corroboration, all we have is one man's report and that may not be enough to change the official record. The key was the tape and what happened to it. I discovered that the man in question was an ex-CIA operative named Sam Baxter. At the time, he was serving as a liaison with the Department of State in Afghanistan. The day after the mission, he flew to Kabul with the scope and had the video downloaded in the military lab there. Per regulations, two copies of the video were downloaded to DVD's. However, the technician who downloaded it confirmed that Baxter also requested a copy to be downloaded to a flash drive. He fulfilled his request. I have a statement to that effect in the book you have. There is no copy of the original DVDs to be found to date in the State Department files I have access to. Baxter died two years ago. I visited with his wife and she graciously allowed me to look through his personal memorabilia. During this I found this flash drive that is labeled Afghan Porno. I viewed the contents of this drive and I believe that it is the copy of the missing videoscope imagery. I had NASA look at it two weeks ago and they confirmed that it appears to be complete raw video downloaded as is and unedited. With your permission, I would like to play it for you. It only lasts about ten minutes."

"Go ahead; let's see what it shows."

The lights were darkened and the data projector threw the imagery against the screen. From the first scene, I was back on the hill scanning the area and seeing the gate open and the girls led out. Then the camera lifted up and I saw the eyes again. I saw the grin, the penetrating eyes. I screamed out, "You baby killing son of a bitch." Emily pulled me back down and held me tightly. I knew what was coming and buried my face in Emily's shoulder. I heard the groans as the others saw what I had seen; the hand raising the cell phone, the grin, the press of the button and even Emily gasped when his head disappeared from the scream.

Ray said, "I am pausing here because I think that everything you have seen so far is exactly what Stuart described and he retold it with surprising detail. However, the rest of the video was not shot by Stuart as he as said. I don't know where it came from."

A voice for the team spoke up, "I do, sir. As Stuart said, we were burying the remains of the girls and he had his rifle leaning against a tree. When we finished and started down to the pickup point, I picked up his rifle to give it to him. When we got to the helicopters, I heard some incoming and not knowing what it was, I turned off the safety and used the scope to see what was coming in. It was the F-18s. So I guess I shot what is next. When we got inside the copter, I gave the rifle back to Stuart. Sorry, if I messed things up."

Ray replied, "You didn't mess anything up, Pete; you just explained what we are about to see." He took off the pause and we saw the scope scanning the sky and fixing on the incoming jets. They each released two bombs and they all hit the compound in an explosion of dust and debris flying everywhere. Then the video stopped. Ray added, "I have confirmed that the bombs totally obliterated the compound and all of the underground structure that we knew nothing about. No one has tried to rebuild there as of today."

The admiral spoke, "Mr. Michaels, for the record, could you pinpoint the spot when you buried the remains of the girls?"

"Sorry Admiral, I wasn't really paying attention. I just dug a hole where I was."

"Admiral, I know where it was." It was Pete again. He came forward and pointed at a spot on the map outside of the compound and at the base of a ridge. "It was the softest dirt around. Every place else was just rock. Right here. It was about six feet deep and maybe four feet around. It didn't need to be that big because there wasn't much left of the girls. I know that it wasn't proper and all, but I said a prayer over them."

The admiral said, "Thank you Mr. Peterson. There have been repeated inquiries to the Navy from the families wanting to know the disposition of their bodies."

"Ray, do you have anything else for us?"

"I just have a few other things that may or may not be important to the question at hand. First, at the time, we were negotiating with the new President of Afghanistan to take a hard line with the Taliban. He refused to allow that. What wasn't known is that the younger brother of the President was a leader in the Taliban. If you look at any picture of the President taken in his office, the picture on the wall behind his desk is of his brother. You will recognize him as the man who pushed the cell phone button in the video. The compound was also the family compound of the President's family. By coincidence, the chief negotiator for the US was our current Commander-in-Chief." There was a gasp throughout the room at that bit of information. "Mr. Baxter turned the DVDs over to him the day after they were downloaded."

I couldn't control my response. "That bastard knew all along. He knew every goddamn thing and used me like a puppet."

Ray continued, "I do not know what he knew or didn't know at the time but he did approve the deal when the President of Afghanistan's family wanted to invest in an American company called United Logistics."

Tom muttered, "Oh shit."

The room was silent as Ray sat down. Even the Admiral didn't know what to say as did none of the others on the panel. Finally, the Commander who was representing the Navy stood up and said, "Admiral, in my capacity as the representative of the Navy, I think that ample evidence has been presented today to reopen the inquiry of the mission that day. I feel that a dozen capable sailors did their jobs and were unjustly condemned for their actions."

The Admiral took a quick glance at his fellow officers and knew what their responses would be. "Thank everyone who came here today and offered us the story that no one has ever heard. We will convene and make our recommendations to the Secretary of the Navy and they will decide our next steps but I would suggest that everyone leave their calendars free in October. Thank you and this meeting is adjourned."

They all rose and walked out the back door while the rest of us just sat stunned by everything we had just heard. Ray stood up and said, "Thanks SEALs for coming. Your presence and confirmations were very important. I have reserved a room across the street for lunch. Tom, will you and Carla take them on over? We will be along shortly."

Tom and Carla rose and led the others out the door. That left Ray, Sylvia and Emily with me. I was numb. I thought that I was fighting a singular battle with one man who was the worst human being I had ever set eyes on but I was really a small pawn in an international political drama.

Ray put his hand on my shoulder and said, "For what it is worth, he edited the video himself and scripted the hearing. His excuse was that there was too much at stake."

"I should have shot that son of a bitch when I worked for him. I haven't been paying attention, is he still after my ass?"

"I think that he has much bigger problems than you at the moment. The congressional meeting that he butchered brought out that he was being paid for those favors and there are people out for his scalp now. If any of this comes out, he will probably have to resign in disgrace."

"Crap, where is the nearest newsperson with ambition?"

Ray grinned. "They all have the ambition but most of them don't have the balls to break a story like this. Besides, you aren't the one who needs to make it public; you have fought your fight and still have the demons to deal with not to mention my daughter. It is time for others to fight for you and hundreds of others like you. Let's go eat lunch. This place is supposed to have good ribs."

That brought back memories of a tense day on the river with people who accepted us and shared their ribs while we shared our beer. I hoped that all of them were sleeping soundly at night. We all went across the street and my fiancé and future mother-in-law treated me with kid gloves.

That night, Emily snuggled close to me and said, "I'm glad I know what is eating at you. I can't imagine what you must have been dealing with. But from now on, if they come to you in the night, I will hold you and protect you from them. I promise you."

"Honey, you have already driven them off more than once. I just never told you. For some reason, telling the story today and having the video to confirm it made me feel...I don't know how to say it, but it made me feel whole again. Before, I felt like I had lived a dream that no one would believe like if I had been captured by aliens or something. Everyone would have patted my head and said 'Right. Poor baby; have another drink.' But now, everyone important to me was in the room and heard what I said but also saw it just as I did. It was real and I didn't dream it."

"No honey, we saw it and understand why you have had nightmares over it. Now make love to me and let me show you the power I have to keep the demons away." She definitely showed me that power and it is called love.

In the days that followed, neither Ray nor Tom mentioned anything about the mission. They had their demons, I am sure. We all do, but theirs belonged to them as mine did to me. In spite of that, we understood each other perfectly. Emily and Sylvia became best friends along with Carla. Emily brought out the brash side of Sylvia and Sylvia retuned the favor by showing Emily that there was a time and place for being bold and brash and a time and place to just be a beautiful woman.