Gift

Gift
L. Stevens

The pain was unbearable.
I had never thought anything could hurt so much.
I felt as though my body was going to explode
It was hard to understand what was happening.
I all of the pain, I only stood one thing.
It was time and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
They took me into a series of different rooms before we got to one that they said was right.
I didn’t care; I just wanted the end to come.

They came in periodically to check on all of the machinery that I was hooked up to.
It seemed I had a thousand tubes coming out from all over my body.
The pain had eased with the medication.
People came and went, in and out until familiar faces came in.
Mom was there and Cindy too, they asked how I was feeling as though I was suffering from the flu.
Others came as the nurses stopped by.
When was it all finally going to end?
I didn’t know how much longer I could go.

Now, I had a needle inserted into my spine with the promise even more pain relief.
When it began working, I tried to sleep.
After hours went by another nurse came in to check my papers.
It was time.

They broke the bed and had me laying and ready.
After what seemed like a second forever I was told to help.
I knew how, but I wasn’t sure how.
All of a sudden my instincts kicked in.

A few hours passed and we had accomplished nothing.
The doctors were discussing other alternatives.
I guess something changed in my body and I tried harder.

Finally it happened.
I felt pieces of myself falling away as they urged me “harder, harder.”
With my last breath and all of my strength, I pushed my baby girl out into the world.
I cried.
As they laid her into my arms, I remember looking at her dark blue eyes and thinking;
How can you love someone so much that you just met?