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Click hereA girl met a guy on sandy Matala.
Summer days in sixty-nine,
would-be hippies dancing in limestone,
kids playing at a lifetime.
She wore half a suit of jacaranda blue.
And he posed, brave American,
in cowboy hat, patriotic flip flops,
and a come-on-try-me grin.
He spun aw-shucks stories of his father's dairy,
while she played Briseis to his Achilles.
They shared salt-water baths and licorice kisses
until tourist days faded into autumn's clouds.
On that last day, she clutched at his shirt,
tears on her lashes,
as navy guards watched them linger
at the gate, locked in a punishing last kiss.
She later married a cute Norwegian,
but thirty-odd years later,
she still sends a card at Christmas,
and he remembers jacaranda blue.
Images are provocative and enticing, but the frequent punctuation got in the way for me. A good poem, but I'd extend the syntax in it more from one line to another.
A bit clichéd that it starts in summer and ends in autumn but I enjoyed it nonetheless
well written (and worth a 5 imo, which I voted it), but it could be more exciting, maybe some twist in those last few lines that might shock or make the reader smile or get more engaged in the poem.
...innocent and visually vibrant narrative in danger of the dreaded prose. I liked certain lines.." salt-water baths and licorice kisses" for example.
Tess