The Wonders of Technology

I tremble at the thought of u watching me
Your eyes set upon me
And yet I’m thrilled by this intrusion
What awful things could u catch me doing?
What would provoke that simmering desire in you
To boil forth and flow over me
Hold me down and force me to cough up the name of the man who was here last night
“It was God,” I tell you, with a smirk and a wink
And I feel the warm pain of that enrage-ed slap across my slightly rosy cheek
“Cough up, give in, bow down, then shut-up”
You say as I jangle a sweet tune with my chains
The sly tune of a simple rebellion
Ah yes the rebellion encompassed in charming things
Silence and giggles and love and revenge
Peels of light-hearted laughter poor forth from my throat
As you pace back and forth outside of my cage
Your eyes narrow to try to make it seem
As if intelligence really filled them up all the way
And you fling all the unimaginative insults that will last for all time
“Bitch, cunt, trash…you communist whore”
But you are not nearly as well trained as they think
Your insults are meaningless, your violence a tease
And you can’t help but like the way that I smile
Up at you when I’m down on my knees
You take all these memories and save them in a drawer
Blood I spilled when you held that knife to my throat
Just trying to stop the giggling revolt
Hair that was clipped from my scalp
An effort to rob me of so-called youth
Still trying to suffocate my effervescence
The pictures that were taken as I was licking my wounds
Feeling the sting of self-actualization
As you felt the stirring inside of your military garb
All of these things you keep in the drawer by your bed
As you torment me, torture me
And watch me in the dark
Those piercing eyes following my movements as I reside within my four walls
All these things watching and recording my actions
I dust with a fine cloth and repair when necessary
Sometimes I play back the tapes and watch myself
Loving my toys and toying with my loves
And I watch again as that man entered my room

He brought with him tears
He brought with him grief
He brought with him sorrow
With no sign of relief

He brought with him anger
He brought with him fear
He brought with him the knowledge
That death was near

He brought with him joy
He brought with him reason
He brought with him the fruits
Of his labor for the season

He blessed the day
He blessed the night
He blessed his enemies
Knowing no one was right

He asked me for my questions
And I tried not to quiver
When I looked in his eyes
And asked if he was life’s giver

He laughed with abandon
And touched me with grace
Then he wiped all the tears
From my fear-stricken face

He looked in my eyes
Said he saw power
Time has no essence
And yet you can seize the hour

You still stand outside of my cage and try to figure out
Why that smile has conquered my lips
For what reason have I to smile?
I have no sovereignty, I have no power
I am trapped within my four walls
Body being battered periodically
I giggle with pleasure even though all my body feels is pain
Surely I have nothing to lose and no opportunity to gain
But you watch me play this tape over and over again
Trying to see what I see and hear what I hear
Frustrated that you can’t take vigil inside of my head
Doesn’t seem fair since I get to swim through your veins
And as I watch my tape my hands flow over my body
Soft young flesh of breast and behind
Tender warmth of lips and juice intertwined
I caress all the signs of your vicious abuse
I love what is mine and know that all that is mine is my love
You fume, foam and rage
This hatred will swallow all of your days
As you struggle to understand this scene before your eyes
As I smile you falter and as I giggle you shiver
However this revenge is not sweet
For even little boys like you
Were raised at the teat
Hoping I could possibly change things just a little
I tell you I love you
You scream that I’m foolish
And I smile as I call you a coward
Don’t worry if your hatred chokes you
And you can’t get the last word in
For in the next cycle we will meet again
Since we have the power
And time has no essence
Yet we will seize the hour