10,000 Strokes

No doubt that is why Yamauba put me in this form. A twisted mercy on me, yet a poetic revenge on my father. I hated her for so long after, yet she believed she was doing me a favor. Yamauba, yet still my loving Yukionna: always looking out for me.

How sad that my father eventually killed her. His motive was revenge, but he had also hoped that it would break the spell. Admittedly, part of me held the same hope as I watched Yamauba die. I was so torn.

For centuries I had wished that it had worked. But now... As I look at this man asleep before me, I feel no regrets, save Yamauba's unfortunate death. I am now thankful to her. Even though I cannot be certain he will actually be the one to release me, I have experienced nothing that would suggest otherwise.

In fact, today's events have suggested even more that it is right. He was actually speaking to me, as if to converse, and he was doing so in a normal tone; not speaking to me as if I were a small child, like so many others had done.

I have no doubts that I could have typed him out a complete message, and he would have been easily accepting. Sadly, I am forbidden to directly reveal my true self. As Yamauba said, I must be known without being known. I must be sensed without the senses. I must receive ten thousand strokes by the one.

I had forgotten that part. I had lost count some months after first joining him. He offered his affections so freely, that I could not keep up, especially since he can seem to so easily lull me to sleep at times. I had eventually forgotten altogether that his strokes were what I actually required of him.

For the longest time, I had thought the number of strokes was just something to sound profound, but as I went from person to person, I realized that ten thousand is actually quite a large number. Even those people, who adored me, for the creature I was, never stroked me that many times.

Oh, my head. It has been a long day. I forced myself to not get too involved in the movie we watched, because I wanted to be here for when he went to bed. Lying there so peaceful and sweet. For a while, I can pretend that he belongs to me. Good night, my one.

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After cashing his paycheck, he stopped by the grocery store to pick up some food for the weekend, as well as a bag of cat food, and as he stood in front of the selection, he decided to treat Nekomi to some moist food as well, in celebration of her finding out her name.

He returned home, put his own groceries away, and then opened up one of the cans of cat food. The cat made a quick appearance upon the sounding of the can opener.

"Maybe you were the neighbor's after all," he said. "You certainly didn't learn that here." He scooped out the juicy meat into a small bowl from the drain wrack, and then set it down on the floor beside the cat's regular food bowl. "Dig in."

He went about his typical homecoming routine of checking his e-mail and then having some dinner. A television show he enjoyed came on that night, so he watched it. The cat didn't seem too interested in him, and was seen only periodically walking through the living room to do other things. It was like that, sometimes.

During a commercial break, he went to the bathroom, and as he passed the cat, he bent down to give it a quick scratch, and said, "Hey, cat. What's up?" The animal's response was passive at best. He went about his business, and the cat walked away to do who knows what.

Even though it was Friday, he decided to turn in at his usual weekday time. Maybe he would go somewhere tomorrow. He hadn't done anything special in a while. He had been staying home a lot more, recently, and he's been enjoying it, but still, he didn't want to risk sliding too deeply into a rut.

After a little more TV, he brushed his teeth and headed for his bedroom. No cat, he casually noted as he undressed. He slipped into bed and turned off the light. After a couple of minutes, he was slightly startled by a sudden weight on his chest.

He opened his eyes, and though he could see very little, he knew, of course, that it was the cat. He closed his eyes again and raised his hand to pet it.

"There you are, Nekomi," he said softly. She set herself down and was still while he slowly ran his fingers across her fur. More minutes passed, and he was on the edge of sleep when the cat made a quiet meow. He awakened somewhat, but quickly began to drift back down.

His eyes shot open at the sound of the cat suddenly wailing. The cat was still on him, but not actually doing anything to him, so he did not want to just toss her off of his stomach, where she seemed to have moved. The cat was in a constant state of motion, and strangely, it seemed to be getting slightly heavier.

He reached for the switch on his bedside lamp, but in the excitement and the distraction of the near constant crying, was having trouble finding it. As he fumbled, the weight on him increased evermore, and it felt like the cat was stumbling around on top of him, up and down his torso.

He finally found the light switch and turned it. He squinted at the pain of the sudden light, but that quickly passed to let him see a virtually unrecognizable creature before him.

For a time, the sight of the animal's body and limbs being unnaturally stretched froze him. As the creature stumbled and rolled, desperately trying to right its position, he noticed the hair on its belly had become far sparser.

Apprehensively, he decided to push the thing off of himself. He pushed it towards the foot of the bed, and then pulled himself up into sitting position. He then pushed the tortured animal further down, until it hit the bed's low footboard.

As the creature grew larger and longer, the hair on its body seemed to be pulled in, while the hair at the top of its head appeared to grow longer. The voice had changed from the cat yowling to something surprisingly more human sounding.

Soon, the convulsing mass began to follow, taking on a recognizably humanoid form. There were arms and legs, and fingers and toes grew more distinct. What was once a cat's face had become longer and flatter, and the ears grew rounder. He thought it may have been a figment of his imagination, but the bare, pale flesh of what would be the chest appeared to be developing breasts. If only it would remain still long enough for a sufficient look.

Moments later, the wailing stopped, as if there was no sound left. The form had stopped moving around and collapsed across the foot of the bed. As best he could tell from seeing only its back, there was a nude female before him.

This presumed person was breathing heavily in such a way to suggest that she was still conscious, though she remained otherwise motionless. He waited almost a minute, to see if the person would do anything, but the only change was that her breathing lessened.

"Hello?" He spoke quietly, having no idea what to expect. He waited a moment, but there was no response of any sort.

"Hello," he asked again, then soon followed with carefully leaning towards the person. He slowly put out his hand, extending his forefinger, and then he gently touched her shoulder, quickly pulling his hand away afterward. She still did not move or make a sound, but he noticed that her skin was very hot.

He gathered himself up on his knees, and then reached for her again. He set his fingers lightly on her upper arm, held there a brief moment, and then moved her slightly.

"Are you okay," he asked, bringing his hand back. Listening again, this time he heard small sounds. The sounds became a person's voice trying to speak.

Though they were difficult and somewhat raspy, he heard the words, "I'm fine", and then she carefully cleared her throat.

Once he recovered from the initial surprise, it finally set in that she was an actual person, and he folded his comforter back and over her body.

"Am I a human, now," she asked, remaining still. She spoke somewhat more smoothly; therefore he was able to detect a slight accent, though he could not yet identify it.

It took a moment to register, but he answered. "Uh, y-yes. You appear to be."

"Thank you," she said in such a whisper that he got the impression that she was not talking to him that time.

"Can I, uh, help you with something," he asked, unsure if he should try anything more on his own.

"It's difficult to move," she said, her speaking gradually becoming less difficult.

He crawled the short distance to her, held her shoulder with one hand, and put the palm of his other against her back. Gently and slowly, he turned her over onto her back, careful to keep her covered. When he could see her face, he was surprised to find that she was Japanese. Nekomi, he thought to himself.

She had her eyes closed, and winced slightly, as if her muscles were sore or just out of use. She tried to move her hands, but he was not sure if he should make an attempt to move them any more than she was able to herself. He did not want to risk injuring her.

Her hands laboriously moved up to her face, where they explored her features. Her movement reminded him of a baby just learning to walk for the first time. She clumsily ran her fingers over her cheeks and nose, and then across her closed eyes and down to her ears.

A smile grew on her face, and then she said, "I am truly myself." He had no response. "Help me up, please."

"Okay." He slid a hand back under her and used the other on her shoulder again to steady her as he carefully lifted her. The comforter being tucked in was impeding his progress at a certain point.

"Hang on," he said, and then guided her back down. He got off of the bed, and then moved around to the foot where he pulled the end of the comforter out from between the mattress and the footboard. After that, he again helped her up into a sitting position. She was not yet able to sit up on her own, so he held her steady.

He moved around to the side of the bed, to be in front of her, where he lowered himself to his knees while holding the sides of her arms. The comforter folded across her shoulder and chest hid her left arm, but her right arm and shoulder were exposed. Her skin was still quite warm.

She was incredibly beautiful, despite the fact that she looked worn-ragged. He noted that her long hair shone straight and black, exactly as had the cat's.

"Nekomi?"

At first, he was not sure if she was crying or what. Her lips widened, and she expelled a sudden breath, and the she raised her right hand to her mouth.

"Yes," she said. He could then see that she had simply laughed, though unintentionally, and with some discomfort. "Yes," she repeated. "It is me", she told him, reaching her right hand to the side of his head.

Her warm hand moved across his cheek and chin. Her fingers slid over his nose and forehead and the down the other side of his face, dropping weakly from his chin as she tried to move her left hand out from its confines.

He helped her as best he could. She was able to sit up on her own far better, but her efforts threatened to expose her body to him, so he worked to keep her covered. When her other arm was free, he bunched up the comforter at her front so that he would not have to hold it.

Both of her hands were now on his face, rubbing across its various surfaces.

"I have fingers to touch you, now," she said grinning happily. She then stopped her exploration, and held his head still, as if on display. She did nothing else for a moment, but he did not want to move. He simply stared at her, and then noticed her eyelids starting to move.

No doubt blurry vision and light sensitivity was the cause of her repeated blinking, but soon she was genuinely looking at him, and then she was again smiling. A wave of emotion washed over him at the sight of the joy in her eyes. They both felt as if they could break into tears.

"Hi," was all he could think to say, and then she fell to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. A few tears did escape his eyes at that, and by the sound of it, she was creating a few of her own.

When he managed to regain his composure, he asked, "What has happened? What is happening?"

She began to pull away from him, and he immediately helped her back into her sitting position, but then she said, "I need to lie down," and began to lean towards his pillow.

"Okay," he said, as he put one arm around her back, and then slid the other under her knees. He eased her into a comfortable recline and then tucked the comforter around her. He recalled her heat and then asked, "Are you too hot?"

"No," she replied. "I am fine."

He sat beside her, on the edge of the bed, and without thought, held her hand in his. He looked her face over, quite taken, and then asked again, "What has happened?"

She smiled and then began to explain.

"I have been in the form of a cat for many centuries."

"What," he said in near disbelief.

"I do not remember the year, but I was born as a human in ancient Japan." He listened intently as she continued. "I grew up in the small village of Kuchikawa. My real name was Hisa... Ichitoku Hisa."

"You typed that on the computer, yesterday," he smiled in amazement. "That was your name."

"Yes, but my nickname is Nekomi. My father called me that because, when I was a child, I would pretend to be a cat to cheer him up when he was unhappy. I loved to play with the cats in my village."

"Our village was very poor, and my father had always hoped that a wealthy man would come through and want to marry me. He always told me that I was too beautiful for anyone in the village, so he refused all other proposals for my hand. I had always been thankful for that, because I never loved any of the men in the village."

Her face saddened, somewhat. "When I was 24, however, a wealthy man did pass through, and he did ask my father for my hand. My father was so overjoyed that he said yes immediately, but I did not feel the same way."

She turned her gaze from him to looking at nothing in particular. "I begged my father not to allow it, but he insisted that it was the best thing for my family and myself. That night, I cried into the arms of Yukionna."

"According to my father, he had found her wandering through the woods when I was still a baby. She was old and told him that she had to abandon her home, because it had burned down. She said she was a widow, and had been wandering aimlessly for the entire day and night. She said that she now had nothing, and that she would do whatever he wanted if he would help her."

"My mother had died of an illness the year before, and he told the woman that he would let her live in a small hut near our house if she would help raise me and cook and clean for us. The old woman agreed, and she has been... had been, like a mother to me."

"The night I told her what was to become of me, she was almost as displeased as I. As she tried to comfort me, she told me, 'Hush now, child. Yamauba will take care of things'. Yamauba was a secret name that she said I could call her, but I did not know at the time what it had meant."

"She tried to talk my father out of the proposal, but it was in vain. Yamauba became quite furious with him, and that night, she cast a spell over me. She turned me into a cat. She said she chose a cat because it was my favorite animal, and she wanted me to be happy, but also because it would be a painful irony to my father that his Nekomi was literally so. I was his feline beauty for real."

"She explained to me that now I would never need fear marrying someone whom I did not love." She looked into his eyes again. "She said that only the one who would love me, and whom I would love, could return me to my human form. Ten thousand strokes of the one."

He wanted to speak, but felt that he shouldn't. He instead only smiled. She returned the smile, but only briefly.

"When my father discovered what she had done, he killed her in a fit of rage and hope that the spell would be undone by the mountain witch's death. When it did not work, my father was never the same man as he had been. I was never able to cheer him up again, but I stayed with him until he died some months later."

"For many years, I hated Yamauba for what she had done, but I have long since forgiven her. And now," she raised her free hand to his cheek and smiled again, "I regret nothing."

She let go of him with both hands, and then pushed her elbows into the mattress to sit herself upright. He helped her at her shoulder and then let go when she was steady. She held the sides of his face again; looked at him a moment, smiling, and then she leaned in, closing her eyes, to kiss him on the lips.

He was frozen for an instant at the touch of her soft lips, but then he found the thought to hold the back of her head and return the kiss. He had no real concept of time for it, but when they had finally parted, he had a vague recollection of having to force himself to take a breath about three times.

"So I actually pet you ten-thousand times," he asked quietly. They both gave a small laugh.

"Apparently so," she replied equally.

"Wow."

"And I enjoyed every one." A pause. "Well... all the ones I was there for."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I had only a cat mind. Other times I had my own. I did not always know what was happening to myself."

"Is that why you ignored me sometimes?"

"Trust me," she said. "I never ignored you," she added with a smile before giving him small kiss. When she pulled away again, he saw her eyes were still closed, and it looked like she was experience a dizzy spell.

"Are you okay," he asked.

She nodded and answered. "Yes. I just need to rest. I will feel better after I have slept."

She glanced over at the other side of the bed, and began to try to move herself, so he stood up and lifted her over. After setting her in place, he pulled the sheet on her side of the bed down from beneath her and then back up over her and the comforter around her. He was then able to retrieve the comforter to spread it back across the bed.

"Do you need a pillow," he asked her.

"No," she answered. "I think I will sleep well without one, tonight."

"Okay." He tidied the covers and then slipped under them once again, but he did not turn off the light. Instead he turned onto his side to face her. They both just looked at each other for a time, his fingers of one hand entwined with hers, and then he grinned widely.

"What," she smiled.

"I just bought new cat food, today." She laughed. "Are you sure we couldn't have done this yesterday?"

"I guess you did not pet me quite enough yesterday."

"That's unfortunate." He paused. "I was ignored ever since I got home, today. Where were you?"

"I did not awaken until after you had gone to bed. I had wanted to awaken sooner but I have limited control over the switching."

"I bought you some wet cat food to celebrate you having a name, but it wasn't really you that eat it, was it?"

"You bought wet food for me? Aww," slightly disappointed. "I am sorry I missed that."

They were quiet again for a few minutes, and then he spoke. "So, I take it you learned English as a cat."

"Aren't you the clever one," she replied, and he laughed.

After about a minute, he watched her eyes slowly closing, though her smile remained. He stayed awake and just watched her sleep for about half an hour before finally closing his own eyes.

"Good night, Nekomi," he barely whispered.

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Ancient Japan

Kuchikawa village (kuchi=river, kawa=mouth)

Ichitoku Family (ichi=one, toku=virtuous)

name: Hisa (long lasting)

nickname: Nekomi (feline beauty)

nursemaid: Yukionna ("snow woman", a female shape-changer)

real name: Yamauba ("mountain witch", a sort of goblin masquerading as a nursemaid)