10 Years of Lust Ch. 01: Cousin's Love

Editor's note: this story contains scenes of incest or incest content.

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Before I start this multi-chapter story of my newly discovered gay-self I need to make it known how many times I procrastinated trying to open up publicly about my old and recent sexual fantasies. Not out of fear, No. But constant hesitation when it comes to addressing such a wide audience to pleasingly put them in the scene. So I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me in case I fall short (lol), because it's my first time doing this and any suggestions are welcome! :)

Today I guess I found the remedy.. Lying in bed, cum on my face after fucking myself with a huge dildo.. Dimmed lights and erotic ASMR filling the room with non-stop tingles as it plays on the stereo and here I am finally on my laptop with a decision.

Cum has always been the thing for me, you can say it was love at first sight since I tasted mine for the very first time out of curiosity. Not knowing that this curiosity would lead to inevitable desires and an ever lasting guilty pleasure.

My first encounter was at freshman year. It's fun to look back on it but it would be way hotter should it happen now.. It was after a class, that I went to a small tool shed in our schools courtyard, to meet my best friend Dan who was waiting for me in there, stroking his beautiful brown dick. We were both 18 years young and discovering ourselves(that's true to where I come from, we don't have those sex ed classes earlier).. What I can recall from that "encounter" is a deep kiss and a couple of strokes we serviced each other with. But what i surely remember is that this little "encounter" set the way for a new identity, a new me. A better version of myself in terms of pleasure, self love and affection towards other men.

My encounter with Dan might be too short to be properly remembered. We both clearly wanted it but were inexperienced enough to shake off any further intimacy. But I went home that day fantasizing about his brown thick dick penetrating me, or me eating his smooth ass with his load covers my face. Until one day we were watching porn in my room and I was finally on my knees ready to get my first taste of cock. We were not in a hurry this time. On the contrary, we were fully aware and fully ready for this. That's when my parents decided to come home early! We both tried awkwardly to act natural for a minute then Dan had to make a couple of excuses to leave in a hurry.

That was it with him as he told me (out of fear) the next day that we can't keep doing this and, should I disagree, it will hurt our friendship.. But I needed him close. So I kept him close without violating our agreement. I was tearing apart the whole time.. I mean who wouldn't! I was at point blank distance from knowing what sucking a fat cock is.

Fortunately, the wait wasn't any longer.. A couple of weeks later it was Christmas. Which means my aunt and her family of two (husband and kid my age) came for the holidays and were staying at ours for a couple of weeks.

To be honest I had no intentions towards Moni (my cousin) first..

Not even a single feeling, but we spent the first 2 days together and shared the same bed at night therefore a closer connection was established.

Come the third night, I was really in need to jack off. I couldn't hold it any longer as everyone slept deeply, I locked my room, put on a porno and reached to my pants..

Opposite of my thoughts, Moni wasn't asleep, instead he was surprisingly sneaking on me! Yet for the first time ever i didn't feel shy nor weird neither did i freak out from the idea of fapping in front of my cousin in any way. I just kept pleasuring myself until I found him joining, a move I gladly welcomed.

I still remember the porno. It was a threesome featuring Sarah Jay and Raven Black.

More than halfway into the movie, Sarah started to cup and rub the guys cock and balls while he was fucking Raven. There I was with a new idea in mind.. and without even addressing Moni about it, I saw my hand on his cock and balls. The kid was in surprise but in so much more pleasure as he hornily whispered: "What are you doing you freak?"

I falsely tried to assure him that it wont make him gay, "I'm just cupping your cock like the girl in the film is. Keep going and imagine my hand one of the girls."

Another moment later, his hand was on my butt and we were kissing. We kissed so deep I felt fire in my tingly spine.. Only woke up from the trance with my own cum on my right hand, while the other one was filled with his seed.

It was something brand new to me. Another man's cum touched my skin and the sexual tension in me intensified. But I was quick to say I'd go clean myself up first and to be honest i never washed his cum off my hand that night.. I went to the toilet to lick cum off my palm and take all my time sucking it off my fingers. I cleaned up the mess on my body later then went back to bed. We both hardly slept that night and shy giggles filled the room every time we made remarks about our "stupid encounter."

The next morning was nothing close to the ordinary. We woke up but stayed in bed. Both avoiding eye contact as parents came to wake us up for breakfast, I played sleepy until he went to the toilet first.

I held my head and thought deeply: "what have I done?" As I rubbed my eyes. "It's risky, but what if it works? I'd finally get to experience what I've been fantasizing about for months now."

This gave me the guts to follow him, he was brushing his teeth and I tapped him on the back and hoped he had good sleep then took my brush and sat on the floor to try and make him mention last night, he was too shy to say a word so I had to hit him with "I hope u don't mind or regret what happened last night" to which he replied: "Then? no. But yes I do mind it now. You said it won't turn me gay and there I was kissing you and rubbing your butt while I nut."

-"Oh come on it's no big deal, if there is anyone who could be labeled gay in this, it's me, and I'm totally fine with it." I was quick to interrupt him.

-"So that's it? You love men?" He said.

-"I do. Yes. I mean I'd still like to be with women but currently men are more interesting to me, and I hope you keep that piece of information to yourself and me for the meantime.." He smiled and nodded as he washed his face and went out for what was apparently more like brunch for us.

I've done my part as well and joined him at the table, we acted as normal as possible until our parents went out for shopping. That's when he asked: "have you ever sucked cock?" I immediately shouted "No No I swear you would be my first time" but that, if anything, put him in enough discomfort to give me the weirdest look of all time.

-"Who the fuck said I want you to suck me? This is never gonna happen! I already have enough regrets for kissing and touching you last night."

Shocked and lost in thought, I left the room angrily, changed my clothes and went out with tears gathering in my eyes. Headphones on, I ran a couple of miles until I calmed down then came back home, showered and lay in bed.

He came a couple of minutes later starting a chat but I wasn't mentally there to make any efforts towards it. He said our parents called, they are out of town until later that night and he won't stay around if I wouldn't talk to him. It would be pointless.

Then, the world suddenly paused, all I thought about was that this is my last chance. Should I waste it, I will never get to have my hands on him again. "I need a couple of minutes to cool down" I replied as he left the room.

Shivering inside out, I jumped out of bed, put another porno on, made sure he could hear the noise.

I was completely naked, lubed my entirely shaved body as he walked back in the room laughing and shaking his head at what a hell of a freak I am.. I didn't pay any attention, I just kept pleasuring myself by fingering my butt with one hand and jerking off with the other.

I was in a huge trance, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and was close to climax when he took off his pants and sat next to me and spat on his dick and started rubbing it. I stopped touching my dick but kept passing my fingers on my thighs, abs and chest in an attempt to delay my climax.

I leaned towards him as he took it easy this time and leaned toward me and kissed me passionately. And here we go, AGAIN.

I was afraid of dealing with another setback shall he feel regret again, so I slid down the chair and wrapped my hands around his thighs. I was now on my knees. Again. For the second time in less than a month, with a huge wet cock inches away from my lips. That's a chance I wouldn't want to miss this time. I took his hand away, put it on my head, jerked him a couple of times until I finally took the lead and threw out my tongue in an attempt to see what touching the shaft of a cock for the first time ever looks like.

I can't tell how it felt.. all I can tell is that I breathed hardly but it wasn't as hard as his groan. It was the first time I get to give head. My biggest fantasy so far is being filled at the moment. That's all I could think of and in my head i was only seeing a world of doors opening from which light comes out after each lick, suck and thrust. He gently pressed my head down and here I was sucking his cock.. I have finally managed to suck cock after two failed attempts. You can say, third time's a charm..

I wouldn't say I was the most experienced cocksucker back then, but I used lots of my pornographic imagination to take him as high as possible on levels of pleasure.

I took his cock in my mouth, kept working my tongue on the shaft without releasing the rest of his stick.

Then moved it up and down his stick keeping it beneath my lips. Just like the pornos we used to watch.

At this point we could only take things further so I cupped his balls with one hand and fapped him slowly with the other with his dick sliding back and forth in my mouth.

It was unintentionally messy and sloppy it made me thankful we were home alone for the day. Enough time to clean the mess.

Then he rose and pressed me harder to the point where my head was between his thighs, and his balls were on my chin. He kept me there for half a minute then started to thrust harder until his big cock hit the back of my throat and initiated my gag reflex.

More sloppy saliva came out as he dragged my head back and I kept licking the base and jerking him in an attempt to make him cum on my face. But he wasn't ready for that yet and he preferred to cum on a towel.

In hurry and excitement, I gave him the first thing i got hands on: (what I later realized was) my shirt!

But before he was even done cumming I had my eyes wide open on my prize. I could only lick my lips and breathe faster as I contemplated cum drip out of his beautiful pink shaft and land on the cloth in my hands. I wanted it all. I wanted every last drop of his cum in my mouth. Last night's cum wasn't enough for me.

The cum-whore in me quickly got greedy as I saw cum pour out of a huge dick for me for the very first time. Yet as the poor Moni came, he let out a tired whisper mixed with groans and hard breath:

-"You aren't gonna do what i think you're about to do?"

-"Sorry, you know very well." I shamelessly nodded as I started licking his jizz off the shirt. I even swallowed a little pool of his nut that gathered in a central spot of the shirt.

I still remember the long face he had when he saw me squeezing the last drops of his semen off the shirt down my throat!

All he said was a couple of words: insane and freak. And we both laughed our asses off.

I hugged him in bed and tried to kiss him but he was quick to jokingly run away.

He went to shower and I stayed to watch him in there. He was significantly shorter than me (or I am excessively taller lol), but he had all the perfect body features a fuck-toy like me would love in their man.

Big cut dick, pink swollen shaft, slim figure and a big muscle butt. His fully shaved body came as a plus to me.

It was the first time I look at a man, and especially him, this way. I was contemplating him as if it was a sexual anatomy, while I jacked off to him cleaning the mess I made sucking his cock. Far more than what I ever dared to dream of.

All those thoughts and looking at that gorgeous manly masterpiece of him made it quick enough for me to cum. I cupped my own jizz and again slid it down my throat as I hopped in the bathtub with him. We showered together, put clothes on then went out to show him around town.

After all what "was about to" happen with Dan and what happened with Moni, I had no more doubt about my shifted sexual desires, I can tell easily that I'm into men now. But what was more important to me back then was that I can finally say I won him, my beloved cousin, for a day but I had bigger aspirations: time to win his heart for a lifetime.

That idea, as foolish as it seems, was as solid as it could be to me. I wanted to trust in myself make it happen and I sticked to it. He was nothing near the Moni of that morning, and it was all smiles to me everytime he tickled me or smiled at me or even locked his beautiful brown eyes with mine!

-"I'm hungry" I said.

-"You're always hungry, love. Remember what you've done with my cum?" he laughed.

-"You have no idea how it felt and tasted. No damn idea."

-"I don't know but if you think it is that good then I might have to accept the fact that you need it on a regular basis now" he said as a smile was drawn on his handsome manly face.

-"We'll talk about this in bed tonight, now let's go grab some food."

We went for dinner and it felt as if I was on a date. I couldn't stop smiling as there was no shyness anywhere between us, all boundaries were broken now. I felt that he finally came out of the closet and accepted the fact that we can be cousins and gay lovers. But I didn't want to spoil the mood so I saved discussing it for later.

We were back home and the parents were already there.

-"Guess you have to depend more on yourselves young fellas. We have tons of Christmas shopping to do this week." Dad said, sending me to cloud 9 as this was the perfect news for me to cement my relationship with Moni.

-"Nevermind pa'. We're doing well, we can take care of each other." (In my head I literally meant we can take care of each other as man and lover.)

Chatter and giggles filled the room but all I smiled for that night was the memories of a few hours earlier. As well as my imagination of what was yet to come.

It was time to sleep. We were already tired so we both went to bed. This time he was still showing me good face and looking directly my way. Unlike early morning. But I couldn't hide the wide smile on my face.

-"What is it? I've never seen you smiling that much." He said with a thin/low pitch.

-"I just can't get over the fact that this is happening to us. It's a dream come true."

-"Listen cuz. There was really no point in hiding my feelings. I regreted it in the morning but after seeing what you went through for me during the day, I was sure you truly care about me. And I want someone to care about mutually. I don't mind if it was a gay relationship or if it was you, my own cousin. If you want to give this a go then here I am, I want to give it a chance too. But promise me, no one has to know. Not for now at least."

-"I pp.. I promise to love you with all my heart, like I always did. But this time in every different way existing." I replied with tears running on my cheeks.

It was definitely tears of joy. But also of fear of the unknown. I just promised a man of my own blood to love him for life. What if I wasn't certain of my orientation yet? What if it was only a temporary phase? What if it was just the fact of trying something new and falsely falling for it!

I didn't get too lost in the many questions roaming my head as he came closer and kissed me on the cheek and held my head in his hands and played with my hair.

I never thought it would go this way, but I wasn't mad at all. If anything, I liked it. I liked it to the point I didn't want it to end. And I was pleased to find myself in such an emotional situation with my newfound lover. It wasn't just the sex this time. There were mutual feelings.

We kissed and made out till we both passed out into sleep. Only for me to wake up at dawn and find out he was spooning me naked in his sleep.

-"Holy mother of God." "No Moni. You gotta fix your sleep." I whispered, and the poor guy rolled to the opposite side of the bed without even knowing what happened.

I was worried someone could have seen us if the sun was up. But thankful enough for being woke at the right time to prevent it. So I rolled back to sleep.

The next morning was like no other. Waking up to his face was extraordinary. I was somehow certain that he was sure of his feelings this time and won't feel regret, he didn't disappoint.

-"Oh you're up, good morning love." I said as he barely opened his sleepy eyes.

-"Uhhh AH, morning beautiful" he said, as he rolled on his back and stretched his arms in the air.

-"Beautiful? That's already too much, you don't want to spoil me on our first morning together."

-"It's well deserved dear, well deserved. But don't make me regret it." He smiled and I smiled back at him as we smacked lips and came out of bed.

The bathroom "rituals" were different this time, no tap on the back but instead, a hug from behind and a kiss to the back of his neck. He was surprised at first but as if his memory got back on track and he remembered who I am and what was going on.

It was around 10 AM and no one was home, parents were again out of town and they left some raw food for us to prepare. I closed the curtains, took all my clothes off and put the kitchen dress, as I proceeded to prepare my lover and myself our first meal together. YES I was this eager.

-"What are you doing?" he shouted from the other end of the house.

-"Preparing breakfast, why not come give me a hand?"

Little did I know he would come and literally give me a hand, wrapped around my chest, as he pressed himself towards my back and ass and rubbed my nipples from beneath the kitchen dress.

-"I almost didn't know it was you. Look at you. Look at us." I whispered.

-"You've seen nothing yet. I won't change my mind this time. I'm sure of what I want." He whispered straight to my ear which made me shiver and tingle in his strong arms.

-"Shouldn't we eat first?"

-"The only thing I'm eating for breakfast is that glowing body of yours." He said as he fiercely grabbed my ass with one hand and my left nipple with the other.

-"If this is what you want." I spread my legs wide as I supported myself on the kitchen counter.

He rubbed his boxers on my butt a bit while kissing my neck, back and shoulders before turning me around to face him. I sat on the counter to make it easier for him to pull me up and he started kissing my thighs as I touched his face and grabbed his hair letting out deep moans. He was getting closer to my dick but I never thought it would end up in his mouth.

I was half erect as he took my dick in his hand and fit it to his mouth. He then proceeded with moving up and down on the shaft and the stick which electrified the mood for me. I was getting my cock sucked, a day after sucking cock, and moments before getting fucked. All for the very first time in my life. EVER.

Moni didn't stop there, as he went through my balls licking all the way down towards my asshole. When he reached, the electrical mood only got more and more intense. As he literally ate me out just like a woman's pussy gets eaten out. He pasted his natural throat lube on my crack and stuck his tongue as deep as he could make it. He made it really sloppy and wet down there that I was ready for penetration.