3: Scars Remain Ch. 05

This is the final submission for my "Diary" series. Thanks to all who read, voted, gave positive and/or constructive negative feedback, and of course to Random Librarian for his editing.

-Spartan 22

X -- Healing Wounds, Invisible Scars

"I can't believe how fast you can run with that thing," Luke huffed, pumping his arms in rhythm with his stride. He always maintained focused when he ran and rarely talked, but he had to commend Clint's ability to run as fast as he did with his prosthetic leg.

Clint panted, "Took me a while to get the hang of it. Took longer to go from the rubberized track to the street. Remember the first time we went on a run?"

Luke wheezed out a small chuckle, "Yeah; we were running away from a burning helicopter, getting shot at, and completely disoriented with our location. And that was seconds after waking up from my unconscious state. Nothing like getting shot at to take a full minute off of my annual 1.5 mile test, had I stayed in..."

"Speaking of which," Clint said, "I think I might have a contracting job lined up out of Lewis-McChord."

"Really? Army or Air Force side?"

"Air Force. Out of the Wing. The commute will suck, though. Traffic on the interstate is awful around here. Take a right when we get to this intersection," Clint said, pointing up ahead at the crossroads.

As Clint and Luke turned down the road, Clint asked, "So, did you call Kaylee yet?"

"You won't let up, will you," Luke said, exasperated.

Clint smiled, "I promised I'd take you in, but I didn't say anything about refraining from sticking my nose in your business. I know I've never met Kaylee, but I know she doesn't deserve what you're putting her through. Especially if she's as amazing as you've described her."

Luke clammed up for the remainder of their run. He knew Clint's tactics; apply steady and deliberate pressure, and odds were he wouldn't let up any time soon. All he wanted to do was purge every single thought and memory he had of Kaylee, whatever it took to get her out of his mind. Before he went insane.

Maybe it was time to move on.

---

He could smell the perfume on her neck. He remembered that wonderful fragrance... it was the same kind she wore in high school. Even while half asleep he suspected it was a dream when he felt her press her skin against his. The mixture of emotions -- excitement from finally having her back coupled with the sorrow in knowing he would soon wake up and she would be gone forever -- weighed heavily on him. He didn't want to wake up. Ever.

All it took was a few blinks, and as he was teleported back into the bedroom. Kaylee had vanished into thin air.

It was dark, but he saw the silhouette of someone standing only a few feet away from his bed. His arms, stretched over his head, felt numb. He tried to sit up, but his wrists immediately met resistance. The sound of metal against metal rang out. Had he been handcuffed to the bed?

"It's about time you wake up, you selfish prick."

It was the sound of the sweetest voice in the world, but in a not-so-sweet tone.

SLAP!

The sting across his face instantly brought him back from dreamland.

"THAT's for making me look from Mexico to Canada just to find you, you bastard!" Every word Kaylee shrieked was through a stream of tears. Leaning down, she aggressively took his face in her hands and leaned down to kiss him. Her lips and tongue danced with his, just as passionately as she ever had before, her tears smearing against his cheek.

"That," she said with a considerably meeker tone, her bottom lip quivering, "Is because I thought I would never see you again."

Trying his hardest to catch up, disbelieving the evidence before his very eyes, Luke gasped, "Kaylee?" So she hadn't vanished into thin air after all.

The sting on his face had caused an adrenaline surge, but her follow-up kiss drained it away completely. It was possible he had never been more confused in his life. Looking up at both his wrists, he asked, "Kaylee, what's going on?"

"Get used to it," Kaylee smirked, sitting on the bed next to Luke, reaching up to jiggle the cuffs. "I'm taking you home with me, like it or not. And if I have to chain you up every night for the rest of our lives to keep you from attacking me, guess what?" Kaylee leaned down as if she was going to kiss him but she paused, her lips inches away from his. She was so close he could feel her breath on his skin as she seductively whispered, "I'm willing to make that sacrifice."

Tussling his hair with one hand while placing the other on his naked chest, she exhaled and softly said, "Luke, you have a lot of apologies to make. But I do too. I'm so sorry for my part. I shouldn't have... turned away from you. You know... after what had happened. I've regretted that moment every night since, and I've have had a lot of empty nights in my own bed to think about what I did."

Luke said, "You don't need to apologize. You were scared, and after what I did..."

Kaylee interrupted, "It doesn't matter if I was scared or not; that's not the point. I will always take the bad with the good, despite your promise to leave me." Tearing up again, but trying to sniff back her tears, she said, "I knew you were going to leave that night, but I thought you were going to be back the next morning, at the latest. You put me through a nightmare! Living these last nine months, not knowing if you were dead or alive, has been pure torture. Not knowing..." her lip quivered.

"Kaylee, I'm extremely sorry. I never meant to hurt you -- I would never dream of hurting you. Believe it or not, I left to prevent you from hurting. I'm still not so sure it's a good idea for me to go back with you. You have so much potential in your life; you are beautiful and sweet and could have anyone you wanted. No one would ever love you more than I, but despite my best intentions I'm afraid my love is not enough. All I'm doing is dragging you down. I dragged you down in high school, I dragged you down when I joined the military, and I dragged you down when I came home. You're life would be so much better without me in..."

Interrupting again, Kaylee snapped, "Oh shut up! That's not true and you know it. You've done more for me than everyone else in my entire life combined. You've loved me like no one else has. It's time you wake up and finally see that! Twice I've thought you died, and this time you simply vanished, which is just as bad if not worse."

Kaylee sniffed, "I haven't seen you in nine months, and the last thing I ever did to you was... flinch... afraid of what you had done. And I will always regret not being strong enough in that moment." Her eyes narrowed, reflecting an immediate mood swing, spitting out her next words venomously, "But that was no excuse for you to run away."

Luke sighed, uncertain of how to respond. He still wasn't sure what to think, "Kaylee, how did you...I mean..."

Reading his mind, Kaylee said, "How did I find you? Expensive software, worthless detectives, and a boatload of money. In the end it all came down to traffic cameras. After hours and hours of watching footage from traffic cameras across nearly all of Northern California, I finally caught your Black Challenger heading North on I-5.

"After doing some math..." Kaylee stopped herself and glared at Luke after an amused smile crept up on his face, "And yes, I did some math and if you never tutored me I probably couldn't have figured it out and never would have found you. So, your fault. So, after guessing your speed and the time you probably left -- and allowing for a ginormous 'deviation', meaning I had to watch more grainy non-HD film than I ever thought possible -- I finally caught you on camera heading North on the I-5 around Eugene. And then Portland. So I thought to myself, 'who lives up this way? Why would Luke possibly be heading up to Washington State?' At first I thought you were heading for Canada. Like you couldn't live in the same country as me anymore. But then I remembered something big: Clint lives in Seattle."

Luke grunted. Sensing his displeasure, Kaylee said, "You should know Clint lied to me, every time I called up here. He said he didn't know where you were. He's a pretty good liar, but then again, I am too," she winked. "Takes one to know one, I guess." Kaylee smirked, looking up towards the ceiling and acting as if it wasn't a big deal and said, "So I told him we were getting married right before you left, just to soften him up. Make him feel guiltier." Luke looked shocked. "So I used my powers for evil. Sue me," she giggled shamelessly.

"He even lied to my face when I pulled up, demanding to see you. It wasn't until I pulled out the marriage card that he weakened. You'd be proud of him; after he told me where you were, he said, and I quote: 'I'd trip an old lady for Luke; you have to understand he made me promise and I seriously owed him. So go easy on him.' So, yeah, compared to what I wanted to do, you did get off easy with a little slap.

"So, I'm revoking your promise to leave me. That's not how the story ends. Hopefully you got this little hissy-fit out of your system and are ready to come back with me. I promised I would be by your side, and we would do this together. I'll be there for you to talk to me, to lay your head in my lap, to cry on my chest if that's what you need."

She took a deep breath and said, "If you want to leave me down the road because you get bored with me or because of my bitchy attitude, fine; I understand. But you don't get to leave me because you think you're protecting me in some backwards kind of way," she said, looking into his eyes.

"Get it, mister?"

Luke was about to protest, until she held a single finger to his lips. She raised an eyebrow and lowered her chin, as if daring him to defy her.

Caught in her unrelenting gaze, Luke bit his tongue and thought hard. She was hard to say no to; she always had been. After taking a deep breath, he reluctantly nodded.

But reluctant or otherwise, it was still a yes. Kaylee almost squealed with joy.

"Um, Kaylee," Luke asked, looking up at the handcuffs and giving a slight tug to get her attention.

Kaylee pulled out the key, but instead of unlocking the cuffs she cruelly dangled it in front of him. She sighed, "You want this, do you? Well."

She gently raked the key across his chest, trying to look at him seductively but a giggle escaped as he sharply inhaled. She bit her lip and slid her hand down his chest and past his stomach, stretching over him until her hair lightly brushed against him. Kaylee told him, "You're coming back home with me but before we drive back, I think I'll keep you like this for a little while longer, after all you've put me through. Too bad for you..."

---

It was obvious that Luke had missed Kaylee. Despite that, he was reluctant to immediately head back to California but at the same time he wasn't about to let Kaylee leave without him. Kaylee could tell that he was still conflicted and held a lot of pain over what had happened. She tried her hardest to soothe him, constantly reminding him that she wasn't going to leave. In turn, Kaylee made it clear that he better not think of ever leaving her again.

Luke wanted to fulfill his promise to Clint to help finish the fence; Kaylee completely understood. She was more than supportive, especially after realizing how much Clint had helped him after he left California. Besides, it didn't matter where they were; it only mattered they were together.

She stayed by his side almost the entire time, conversing and catching up on the last several months as he hammered the boards into place. At one point, after suspecting Luke was probably too busy to socialize, Kaylee left and headed towards the house. Luke quickly popped his head up and set his hammer down.

He looked so sad, Kaylee thought; almost like a lost puppy. It broke her heart, but at the same time it was adorable. "I'm just going to make up some lemonade for you two; I'll be right back," she smiled. It took him a few seconds to break eye contact and return his focus back to the fence.

He does miss me, she thought to herself, smiling from ear to ear all the way back to the house.

---

"My wrists are still sore, you know," Luke told Kaylee through the speaker system, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other rubbing the opposite wrist.

"Don't be such a baby. You did it to yourself," she replied from her BMW; she sounded snotty -- and meant to -- but was grateful he couldn't see her actually smiling. "You're lucky I didn't cuff you to the steering wheel. Oh, and by the way, before I forget: When we get within an hour of your parents house, we need to stop so you can buy them flowers. Like enough flowers to fill up the living room. Especially your mother and Faith."

Luke winced and sighed, "I know."

He remained quiet. Kaylee bit her lip. Maybe she was being a little hard on him. He deserved it, but still. "I'm glad you're coming back home with me, cowboy," she purred. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," he said sincerely. "You're falling behind again," he reminded her, looking in his rear-view mirror. "Can't keep up with American muscle, can you?"

"Oh, shut up. If you get a ticket for speeding, Mr. Leadfoot, I'm not stopping for you. Then we'll see who makes it back home first. Besides I could take your Challenger if I really wanted to. Whatever happened to my snail-paced slow driving boyfriend?"

She could hear his laughter as he replied, "Maybe he has a lot of pent up energy."

Kaylee smiled. Oh, I like the sound of that, she thought to herself.

---

"So how many babies are we going to have," Kaylee asked Luke out of the blue, her back straight and butt sticking backwards in the downward dog position. She made yoga look so easy. Luke, also in the same position except with bent elbows and knees, nowhere near Kaylee's perfect form, just about fell over. "Kaylee, are you insane? You told me this yoga stuff is supposed to be relaxing."

"Of course it's relaxing. And peaceful. Especially now that we're back home. Besides, it's also helping to stretch and heal your shoulder. You need to keep it strong."

Luke told her, "Well, the doctor did say, despite his initial analysis, I almost have my full strength back. He thinks I'll be back at one-hundred percent if I stick to his physical therapy routine."

Kaylee sighed, "I know, that's what I keep telling you! That's why we're doing this!"

Luke blinked, "Maybe we should just lift weights instead; it's much simpler and less embarrassing."

"Time for crane," Kaylee said, ignoring Luke's comments. She simply stepped forward, placing her hands on the ground, knees on the back of her arms, and slowly raised both feet off of the floor.

She made it look so easy. Luke shook his head, reluctantly following her lead. Carefully he raised one foot, tried to stabilize his wobbling body, somehow managing to lift his other foot off the ground. He held it for four seconds before toppling over. Kaylee still maintained her motionless form, as if she were a statue. "You still didn't answer me," she cooed breathlessly without moving a muscle.

"Um, we're not exactly married, Kaylee," Luke said, trying to get back into the crane position.

"You're no fun," she whispered, coming out of crane and sitting down cross-legged, grabbing for her towel and water bottle.

"Well," Luke said, following her lead and sitting down, "Why don't we focus on getting you through class first. Are you still sure you want to be a counselor?"

"I am," Kaylee said. "Trust me; I've had plenty of time to think about it. It's been floating around in the back of my mind for a while. First, it's a noble profession, and I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to help people." Luke nodded in support. "Also, when I have children some day," she added, deliberately staring Luke down with narrowing eyes, "And after I've done this for a while, I should be able to work my hours around their school schedule. Wouldn't that be nice?" Luke quickly turned his eyes away. "So, I'll get my psychology degree in a few years, then hopefully get a job somewhere around here."

Kaylee thought for a moment, and then asked Luke, "At least, I assumed I'd look for a job around here, unless you had something else in mind?"

Luke smiled, "It's hard to predict the future, but I wouldn't mind staying in the area. It makes sense until we finish up school. Seattle was nice, too; I wouldn't mind ending up that way either. I haven't thought about it much, to be honest."

Luke hesitated before asking, "What about when I start classes? Do you think I'll do ok in seminary? I keep feeling like God is calling me towards the ministry... but a guy like me?"

Immediately Kaylee jumped on Luke, "Don't sell yourself short! You're an amazing man. You've been to hell and back. You've cheated death more times than I can count."

"I know, I know," Luke interrupted. "But there's more to it than that. I truly believe our prayers, along with help from my counselor, have helped me get my rage under control. But sometimes it manifests, and it probably always will. I swear more than I should, especially when I get angry. The funny thing is I never used to."

Luke winced, "I've... done worse than that. Much worse! You know that, Kaylee." He struggled with his words, blurting out, "I've... killed people, for crying out loud! There should be some kind of law about accepting people like me into ministry."

Kaylee didn't flinch. She reminded him, "Well, so did Moses. Heck, Paul killed Christians before he was saved. Besides what you did was much, much different! You were defending your country; you know that! If there's one thing you've taught me, it's to trust God and his plan, ask for forgiveness, and if you feel He's calling you on a certain path, then you'll be alright as long as you trust and follow Him."

Luke took a deep breath. "Maybe your right. It just feels like there are people better than me that should be doing this. I'll always carry these invisible scars. Scars that no one will see, yet they are with me. And I can't help but wonder if they should prevent me from ministry."

A serious look surfaced on Kaylee's face. "We both have many invisible scars, and in fact some of them are matching. Not all, but we've shared some of the same wounds. So, while I can't imagine half of the horrors you have been through, I can relate to the other half. And remember, a scar is a wound that has already healed and is nothing more than a reminder of our past. It doesn't dictate our future. If anything, a scar is an experience we can learn from."

She sat up on her knees and slowly started to unzip her yoga jacket, "I was going to show you this later, but maybe now is the right time. I want you to know what I think of you."

She peeled her jacket off, revealing a white t-shirt underneath that said, 'Not every girl is lucky enough to find the man of her dreams... but I'm dating one.' A red heart surrounded 'I'm dating one'.

"I... don't know what to say," Luke said. "You truly humble me, Kaylee." He scooted over, placing one hand on her cheek and leaned in, giving her a deep, passionate kiss.

Kaylee moaned and took his head in her hands, kissing him back with just as much fervor.

"Oh, Luke," she whispered softly. "You know," she said as seriously as she could while wearing a smile, "The other t-shirt is on backorder. Wait until you see that one."

Luke, already blushing, asked, "What other t-shirt?"

Cocking her head to the side, she said, "The one that says, 'Not every girl is lucky enough to find the man of her dreams... but I've married mine."