A Big Shiny Blue Marble Ch. 56

"No, uh, ... no this is fine," he said.

"Well that's good then," she smiled at the wall in front of her. "Here, would you mind, um, washing my back and, you know, any other thing that you think might be in need of a little of your ... attention while I try to figure out what I want to say so that I don't sound like a fool?"

He took the soap back and began on her back, telling himself that it was all that he'd have the nerve to do.

"How could you ever sound like that?" he asked and she replied, "Oh, trust me, Xhan, I do it all the time."

Jerrthi liked the feeling so much that she leaned forward and groaned as she hung her head under the stream again. "That feels so good."

This was something that she'd never done with Bronn in all of their time together. Grotto Dwellers are as fastidious in their cleanliness as any other Merren type, but because of their distant past, they tended to be a little private in their bathing habits. They'd had to be, one of any couple standing watch while the other washed.

But Jerrthi had come to a decision of sorts and she'd also done a little research on the habits of the Xer, so she was trying to fit this together as best she could. She knew that the Xer quite often washed each other, so now here she was, trying to fit in a little, though she felt very strange doing it this way. At least she felt that she could draw a little comfort from the way that her body seemed to appeal to Xhan as she felt his hands sliding the soap over her bottom now.

"It sure doesn't look like it to me," she said, "but I'm not actually trying to seem sluttish in any way. I've been a mess for a few weeks now. As hard as it is to bear, I've slowly come to accept what I've lost, or what was taken from me, I guess. You've been a bright spot for me the last little while, Xhan, and I'm so thankful for you.

I think that, if we hadn't met, I'd have carried my sorrow for a lot longer. It's not gone yet. But I've gotten to where I think I'd be a fool if I just ignored the fine person who cares for me the way that you do. I've never had this kind of good fortune. I know how I look, but it gets me more passes from people that I plainly would just rather avoid, to tell you the truth.

Would you be a dear and wash my legs please -- if I can ask it of you?"

He couched then and she continued as he worked.

"So I wanted to come to you to complain a little about the dirty shower in the barracks there, but I also wanted to tell you that I've decided to come out of my shell again. I find that the Xer are such sociable people and Ronkahh and I have been made to feel very welcome here among you all.

I see that most of you have some sort of emotional attachment with one or more of the others here, like the way that Doona is with Arshan and Troxi. It's very different to me, but I see that they care about each other very much. Where I'm from, a relationship like that would be ... well, exotic to say the least, but now I just see it as what it is, people in a deadly business who cling to each other to help each other through. I enjoy seeing the little swirls of it as they interact. I like to see it now.

Then I thought of you, Xhan. It seems I'm always thinking of you these last days. I wanted to learn of what sort of relationship that the leader of this part of the First surrounds himself with, but I've learned that you don't have anyone, do you?" she asked as she turned around.

He was still on his knees and now he looked forward and then he slowly looked up into her eyes.

Jerrthi chuckled as she remembered something, "As I was here looking for you, I saw your computer and the notes that you were making about what I am, the kind of place where we come from and all of that."

He groaned a little there at her feet, so she reached down to hold his ear gently and touch it with her thumb.

"Don't look so nervous, " she laughed softly, "the mating behavior that you were reading about would only apply between myself and another of my kind. I'd never do that in your presence."

He watched her roll her eyes and look embarrassed just to be speaking of it with a male who was right there, so to speak.

"Why?" he asked as he reached out and ran a finger down the line between her leg and her mound, amazed at her hairlessness.

"Because it wouldn't mean anything to you, Xhan. It's just something done for another Grotto Dweller and almost always in the pitch black darkness, though not always, I guess. I'd be afraid to appear crude to someone like you, so I'd never do that.

We're different," she smiled, "and I think there's enough to celebrate --and try to learn about in our differences as it is. I've never showered or bathed with anyone else before, as an example, but you're not alone in trying to figure out the one that you're interested in, you know. I'm just as guilty of looking up Xer mating habits as you are of looking up mine.

You are interested, aren't you?"

He smirked then, "Jerrthi, look at me. I'm not some drunken hound trying to sniff around at a party, though ... I guess I must look like it right now, don't I?

"Sort of," she smiled down, "but it's just another thing that goes along with trying to accommodate each other." She ran her fingers through his wet fur for a moment, "I don't know if you'd be doing this with a Xer female if you were in a relationship with one, but I don't think I'd mind very much right now if ... you ..."

She sighed then as he moved forward to kiss her. His hands on her hips felt wonderful and she wanted to lean against something right then.

"I probably would be doing this right now if I was in that sort of relationship," he said softly as he dragged his lips over her soft skin, "if it had gotten to the point where we were lovers. I've figured out that you're a very unique sort of ... "

"Bitch?" she hissed.

"No," he said, "I was struggling with that definition just before you stepped in here with me. It doesn't apply. The structure would have to be different, I think, because I'd want to allow you the difference. I'd probably want to be more like a male Grotto Dweller for you, well, except in that one regard.

Why? Would you want to be a Xer bitch? I'm not sure that you're built for it, which is why I'd want to make the allowances in the first place."

"I don't know, "Jerrthi sighed, "I have nothing to relate it to. Could we try it a little in either way? I mean that I'd never wet on you, of course. But I'm interested, Xhan. That's why I'm in here in the first place, as well as wanting to be clean. I've already learned the joys of having the one that I'm interested in wash me. That's actually a big step for me."

She inhaled then as his tongue found her and quickly moved to the core of her. Jerrthi looked down at his closed eyes, thrilling a little to see as well as feel those teeth of his on her body. He opened his eyes and she found herself looking into them and she found that she could see far down into him like this.

Her eyes widened then to see the hope in him, so after a good long look, she nodded silently and caressed his head. "I want the same thing," she almost whispered, "Do you want to try and see where we go?"

He didn't answer, not wanting to move. He just nodded very slightly and to Jerrthi, he might as well have shouted it. He moved her and she went along until her back was to the wall. Xhan raised his muscular arm and placed his hand dead center on her breastbone, pushing back until she leaned against the wall.

Reaching out, she moved the shower nozzle so that the stream cascaded down the front of her and then hoping that he wouldn't drown, she held onto his head as he licked so that she could coo to him over how wonderful it was.

Xhan was listening to her. He heard her soft little sounds and he felt a bit of a sting form the way that the position of his body hadn't completely shielded the throbbing tip of what had emerged from his sheath, so he moved a little until he couldn't feel it.

Jerrthi bucked against him a little as she moaned, loving this and the comparative wildness that she felt from it. It wasn't what lay in him. She knew that. He was holding back out of consideration for her relative fragility in comparison to what he was, but by the same standard, Bronn wouldn't have done it this way at all. She tried to clear her mind and in the doing of that, she found her bliss at the end of a long Xer tongue.

As she hugged him to her belly while she struggled to regain some sort of normal breathing pattern, she thanked him in that small soft voice which now thrilled him to hear. When she had it together, she spun them a little slowly so that he was against the wall now and she crawled a little higher up the front of him. When she got there, she seized his head and kissed him as hard as she dared, loving the way that it felt to feel his teeth against her face and her own against his. They were different, but they reveled in it now.

She moved her attention to the side of his neck, wanting to feel and smell his wet fur. She rubbed her face against his shoulder and chest.

"I've never seen that," he said as he looked at her looking back up at him. She attacked his face again while they both groaned.

"I don't know if I can take the punishment you can give," she hissed needfully into his ear and she licked deep enough inside to make him shudder, "but I'll try -- I swear that I'll try, Xhan. Fumes and spray," she cursed gently in her way, "I need you so fucking much. Xer."

"I'll try," he groaned, "Not to hurt you. I never would want to ... but, ... Oh, Jerrthi ...."

She was back rubbing her body against his all the way down until she was faced with his version of what he'd been faced with. Jerrthi had seen many of these in the past few day, but they'd all been tucked safely away inside of their sheaths. She took his balls in her hand and opened her mouth to take that shaft in without a backward glance. She'd never felt this way in her life before.

Bronn had offered a safe sort of life as a pair and she'd appreciated it at the time. It was what she wanted for them then. Right now, she doubted if it even interested her. She had the leader of a bunch of polite and rather genteel killers here in her mouth. The thought caused her to groan as she had it and she rose on her knees to get more of him in.

She sucked and bobbed, she leaned forward, pressing herself against that stone-hard abdomen. She leaned against that hard belly with her ear, listening to him breathe and loving the fur against her skin.

She settled down only a little, finding herself dead center in front of him on her knees, reaching for his hard hands to bring them to her horns. She opened her eyes again after a moment spent just enjoying the feel of them there as he curled his fingers around them. He didn't force or even try to guide her. He just held them.

Praise The Balance, she thought, he's fucking perfect.

She looked up and moved her head back, licking him in a long stroke with some of that thing there against her nose and later her cheek.

"Promise not to hurt me," she said. It wasn't a plea, or a question.

It was a direct statement.

"Promise to be gentle for a Xer and rough for a Grotto girl."

"Promise," she said, licking it again, "and I promise to try very very hard to break your back, Xhan."

He hung onto her horns and watched her as she watched him while she sucked it in as far as she could to squeeze the thickest part of his root with her lips.

"See? I can take all of you in my mouth," she grinned, "I didn't even think I could. Come on, Baby. Come on. Promise."

Jerrthi didn't even feel like herself right now and she didn't care if she ever returned to the old Jerrthi again. She'd found a way to move ahead, rather than remain in mourning and she wanted it now. She didn't even know where her words were coming from but she let him go right then and she smiled up at him as she held it against the side of her face.

"I don't want to be a Xer," she said, "I can't be a Xer. But I want to be LIKE a Xer bitch to you. Promise me Xhan, and I swear I'll do my very best for you."

"Make me your -- "

He pulled her up then and almost slammed her back against the wall.

"You don't know what you're asking," he growled as he raked her throat with his long teeth.

"Yes I do, "she growled right back in Xerian as she grabbed his head to look right into his eyes. What she'd seen earlier was still there.

"I want that," she said, "I know it probably can't be, but I want to get as close to that as I can." She twitched her hips up and down against him and he moaned in response.

"We might end up there, I dunno, "she said in a tortured voice, "probably not, but I want to try for that. I'm not asking for anything but a shot as us together, you and me as fast or as slow as we go. We've been dancing around it for two weeks. Instead of just a fuck on your couch, I'm saying you can have more. Just ... Just promise me that I have a chance."

He pressed her against the wall and she tried to backpedal to get a little higher, "Promise me, Xhan. Make me your bitch. It won't count. I'm not a Xer. I don't have anything anymore. Give me what you are, just a little." She was crying now, and the strain of speaking in Xer to him was making t worse.

"I'm tired of feeling dead," she sobbed, "I want to feel alive the way I feel right now, Xhan. I want to live my life with my cunt on fire for you. I doubt it'll last long, but god-FUCKING dammit, I need to feel this!"

His hips dipped low then as he pressed against her and then he was into her in one long push. Jerrthi wanted to scream when he hit the end of her and she went to her tiptoes to find a little comfort.

"Is this what you want?" he snarled at her from right up close.

She whimpered quietly as she nodded, "Yes," she whispered, a little fearful of what she might have just unleashed in him.

He reached under her to help lift one of her legs a little. "Wrap your legs around me then, Jerrthi," she smiled softly as he kissed her, and he kept right on as he dragged those sweet lips of his against her again.

"I understand, Jerrthi," he said, "and I promise. I'd do anything for you," he said as he thrust in and out of her gently, "I can do what you want, that's easy, and I promise not to hurt you."

She felt his teeth against her throat for a long moment as he pressed her head back a little and then his voice went on from there someplace, "I don't even know if we can do this or for how long, to be honest. But it can't be real until it gets to one point. I also promise to let you know how I feel before then."

She lowered her head when she had the room for it and looked into his eyes, "Can I be your --"

"Girlfriend if we like each other and we get that far," he said, and then he stopped suddenly as he looked into her eyes for a moment.

"Alright," he nodded as he began to go at this a lot more forcefully, "I can take you there."

"Promise me," she moaned as the feeling came back to her, "as much as you can and I'll accept it. Oh, Xhannnnn," she called , and then she stopped abruptly as she felt his teeth closing around her throat.

Her ribs heaved as her hand flew to his head, but she wasn't trying to pull him away. He was amazed to feel her trying to get more of her throat in there, so he tried as her other leg wrapped around him and he began to really nail her to the wall.

Jerrthi bucked and moaned and finally she screamed into his ear and he let go of her neck to grab one of her horns and take her ear in his teeth as he came. He thrust into her with every contraction of his and she rode up and down several inches each time. It passed then and they looked at each other.

"You're sure ... " he said and she nodded, "I am."

"You know what's involved?"

She nodded again, "I just want to try. You find somebody Xer that you want and ... "She looked away.

"Jerrthi," She didn't look at him.

"Hey, Jerrthi," he jiggled her and it tickled her somewhere and she flinched and smiled at him for a second.

"I don't know," she said, "I'll try to back away if that happens, alright?"

He thrust a little slowly then as he spoke, "You can't know it all. I can't do that if we really get going. I mean I could, but not if it's real. I wouldn't."

"Push again," she whispered, "You feel so good in me. I want to be your girlfriend, I guess, I -oh!

OHhhh, ah ,ah, ah ,ah, fuck, this is great, ah ohh."

It made him chuckle and she finally smiled, "Ok, now I insist on getting a chance at this."

"OK." he smiled.

"What do you mean, 'ok'?"

"I mean, ok. Jerrthi. I'll give it a shot."

She looked at the ceiling and bucked her way through the next round, "You said A shot. I'm getting a lot more here."

"I'm trying to show that I'm sincere," he shrugged.

She would have laughed but she felt the next round then and she rode through them looking into his eyes. She adjusted her grip on him and sighed, "Any more?"

"You don't want any more?" he asked.

"Fuck, Xhan," she said, "I want all you have. Are you nuts? This is about the best fuck I've ever had. Thank you." She kissed his nose.

He smiled, "Well I'm sure this is the best I've ever had, so we're even."

"Do you have any more?" She asked and he opened his mouth to speak but the water ran cold then.

They got out of the shower then and dried off before they got dressed again and went to dinner in the officer's mess building.

Xhan found a section that was kept as more of a dining room instead of a cafeteria, so she asked him to stay back a little around the top of the staircase.

She sort of swivelled in wearing her flight suit and asked if she might have a table over in the dining room and the man in charge -- well, he couldn't have been called the maître d', since it wasn't really a restaurant, told her yes.

As she looked past him to see Xhan walking toward her the man said that it wasn't allowed to seat a Xer or any kind, officer or not, in the dining room.

Jerrthi pulled out her press pass and clipped it on.

"Is that so?" she asked, "I've recently done a rather revealing piece on the sheer size and number of Xer forces employed in Merren service. Given the relatively tiny size of the Merren military, I was quite surprised at the amount of mail that I got demanding that our military be disbanded, since they were a waste of money anyway, and that it cost such huge expenditures to keep facilities. "

She glared at him, "and here you are telling me that two people can't sit in a huge - and EMPTY -- dining room because my companion here is a Xer, is that it?"

The got the table.

As they talked about all manner of things, they found that it had just gotten a lot easier and it felt so pleasantly familiar to them that it took no effort at all. They could converse in either Merren or Xerian and they found that their talking between them just did that, switching back and forth without a thought to them.

"What are you going to do tonight?" he asked and she shrugged, "Well I was thinking that I ought to go back to barracks and clean out that disgusting shower, but I don't want to."

"That shower wouldn't look like that anywhere near a Xer facility. We're not any cleaner than you are , likely, but think about it. Imagine the drains in a facility which houses a lot of what I am. So we stay on top of things like that.

In fact, I'd bet that if this base wasn't in decline the way that it is, it would be kept cleaner regardless. You can't house a bunch of any kind of fighting force and ignore things like that. I'll make my complaints to the Merren in the morning. I'm sure that it'll only take them a week to clean."

He watched her face and he could almost hear what she'd say, so he held up his hand and chuckled, "It's unusual, but then we're not the usual outfit. Why not stay with me? I've got a little house all to my lonesome."