A Boy Stumbled Through The Snow

He sat himself down with a slightly less daunting amount of food. He ate it and watched the boy devour his. When they were done they sat back contently full. Logan closed his eyes and hummed a tuneless little melody happily.

"What is that?" Will asked. The boy's eyes opened and looked at him questioning him. "What were you humming, I didn't recognize it." He felt like making conversation.

"Oh? Um. It was... I, um, It's kind of hard to explain," the boy's brows drew together.

"That's all right." The man said. He smiled gently, the morning sun making him fuzzy like in an old movie.

"Well, you see, it's my soul's music. It is what my essence sounds like. I can't do justice to it by physical means, but it is this ongoing, constantly changing, soundtrack to my life." He shrugged and Will watched this intriguing boy has he closed his eyes and bathed in his music. The boy reminded him of last night when he let the books seep into him. He understood what this boy was doing, to an extent. He was bathing in peace. This boy had a well of it inside him, where as Will drew it from his books.

The boy's eyes opened and locked on the man's. What came next? As if to answer, the man spoke.

"Do you have a plan?" He sipped at his milk.

"No. I don't have anywhere to go, no money, and precious little health." He smiled dejectedly.

"Then you should stay here. I've plenty of room, I made more money then I care to spend from my books, and a helping hand if you need anything. I rarely leave this apartment. I prefer mobility to anything else. I work out three times a week to keep me healthy and attempt to eat reasonably well. It would be much appreciated to have someone other than a coconut to talk to." He smiled and sipped at his milk again. There were ripples in the surface of the liquid as he held it. His hand was shaking. He noticed this, as did Logan, and he took a container of pills out of his pocket. He downed one quickly and the shakes stopped.

Logan looked at him disappointedly. He thought this man was flawless.

"What 'cha doin'?' He asked. The man looked at him questioningly. "What are you hooked on?" The boy asked more seriously.

"Oh, painkillers." The man said dejectedly. "I've got a nerve problem. Before they figured out what it was, a side affect had already eaten away at the tissue and some of the nerves in my thigh. It hurts like hell without the pills, and then I got hooked. I'd brake off, but they're the only thing that stops the pain." He sighed. And lifted one side of his mouth in a ghost of a dismissive smile. "It's not so bad though. At least I can afford it, and it doesn't really affect my life that much. I just need to make sure I never run out." He shrugged and started clearing the dishes. Logan got up to help him and put the glasses in the washer.

"Man, that sucks. I've got some friends that are hooked on crack. They are all kinds of screwed up, now. I don't do any of that stuff. I don't even drink. Back when I thought it was a good idea and I actually wanted to, I couldn't because it gave me the worst migraines in the history of the universe. I tried crack once, and as soon as that smoke hit my lungs my head broke into a million pieces. I was left holding my head on the ground while my pals laughed at me and got high. I never tried it again." He mirrored the ghost smile that Will had given him and dropped some sticky forks into the little rack on the door of the washer for silverware. "Same thing happened with booze, except that time, it was more of a throbbing, but it lasted four times as long." He shook his head and smiled. "Haven't tried anything that's supposed to mess with my head since." He laughed and his eyes narrowed at the edges. He didn't know why he was telling the man this, or why he was laughing, but it felt good to talk. "I still get the headaches, when I pass a newly painted house, or write with sharpies. It's really weird. It's like anything that should get me high gives me a migraine, but something like tomato soup will give me pure ecstasy! I'm one screwed up kid." He shook his head and chucked.

They were finished with the dishes and Logan ran his hands under the water. He relished the feeling of the little bubbles caressing his skin and the cool liquid pouring over his warm flesh. He sighed and shut the water off. He scrubbed his hands dry with a rough towel and put them in the pocket of his robe.

"Interesting." Will said, studying the boy. "You are quite unique." The man studied him for a moment then started moving again. "Make yourself at home. I'm going off to work on my book, feel free to do as you please." He smiled and walked off to another room. Logan just shook his head and smiled.

After a shower, Logan flowed into the solarium (or "the room with the big windows" as he knew it) he picked a few books off the walls and hunkered down in one of the chairs, ready for a long day of mental expansion.

Five hours later he had finished one book and was starting on another, relishing the leryical prose of some of the more classical authors. He had just begun to flounder in the life of the main character when he felt a body behind him. He tore his eyes away from the page and found himself looking up into the ashen grey eyes of his host. They were the most magnificent color. A grey that seemed to swirl like grey smoke. Absolutely unmarked, a work of liquid marble.

"Ahh, the Count of Monte' Cristo. One of my personal favorites. I'm glad that you seem to be taking an interest in it. Tell me, have you ever read it before?" He came around and sat in the adjacent chair.

"No, I've never really been in a situation where I had much time for reading." He watched the older man.

"What was that situation, exactly?" The man looked at him with a combination of good humor and curiosity. "You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine?" He smiled.

"All right." Logan said after a pause. "I was born in Mane and that seems to be all of my real parents that I can decipher. I don't know what happened, all I know is that I was shuffled around from foster home to foster home until I came to be of use to an old bastard named Dirk Landers. Dirk ran a flesh store. He got all the cute orphans and sold them out to the highest bidder. He peddled my flesh liberally until I turned eighteen, then he started pulling bigger gigs. I was his most experienced and is best." Logan retched at the word. "I was the only one of the boys that was actually gay, so the Johns actually got to see me come every now and then, when I wasn't bleeding.

When I came of age he putt me on the upper class market, he brought me to the city occasionally and would rent me out for weeks at a time. The guys and their friends could rip me open for days on end, and there was nothing I could do. Finally I caught a brake and found a moment when all of the men were sacked-out and I scrammed. I've been running ever since, I don't know how long ago that was, any more, I don't even know what day it is.

The only good thing in my life, that thing that sometimes I wish I could go back to, was Daniel. He was in one of the earlier foster homes with me. He was like a brother to me, and I loved him. That was one of the better houses. I can still remember running through the cornfield with him on my heels, tumbling in the stalks.

We were in love. I missed him after they made me move. The Fosters didn't like that we were gay. They liked him better than me, so they tried to 'fix' him and they sent me along." The boy pursed his lips sadly and looked down at his still open book. *

"Well, that's my story, what's yours?" He shut the pages and turned towards his host more fully.

"Well, I was born and raised in outer New York state. My parents were doctors, so they weren't around much. That's when I started writing. As soon as I was psyicially capable I was writing down the stories I saw in people. I started twitching when I was a teen. I didn't let anyone know. I wasn't exactly popular in school. I was a book nerd with a knowing stare that was suspected to be gay and I didn't need for people to know that I twitched too." He frowned and looked at his hands. "It started out as just my fingers shaking. Then my hands started vibrating randomly. I started loosing strength in my hands. My entire arms started shaking. Then my legs started. My thighs, then my knees, then my calves. My left arm always ached. Then it moved to my stomach and chest. I didn't let anyone know, not even my parents.

They finally found out the night they found me on the floor of my room, vomiting and vibrating. They took me to the hospital and kept me there. They finally found out that I had a genetic defect. I would always be like this. All they could do was treat the symptoms. They fixed some of it, but my leg will never heal. If I don't take the other pills, I won't even get into what they are, I will probably die. The painkillers came next. I got hooked when I was only seventeen.

I went back to school, but it just didn't work. I feel back from the world. I found myself this place and started filling it with books. I got my degree online, and started writing seriously. Since then I've made far too much money. I've donated most of it, but I still have too much. I will never have a 'proper' family because the kids in high school were right. I am gay. I will never have a kid to give my money to. That's all I really wanted out of life. The things I can't have. Someone to love me and the pitter-patter of little feet running through this place and big eyes looking up at me as my darling steals cookies out of the jar." He wiped his eyes.

"I doubt anyone will ever love me, and I can never pass down this broken gene. I would not condemn my loved ones to that." His voice cracked as he spoke. A tear rolled down his cheek and hung off his chin. He hadn't meant to expose this much to Logan, but he had anyway. He felt a warm caress on his cheek and opened his eyes. Logan was kneeling in front of him. One hand on his knee, the other gently stroking his face. His sharp green eyes softened and he allowed a small sliver of emotion out of his hard shell, a tiny stream of water, tempting Will's thirst. A tear trickled down Logan's cheek.

Neither them spoke. Logan took Will into his arms and held him as they both cried silently. Logan moved and sat on Will's lap, sideways so he could easily wrap his arms around his chest and lay his head on the man's shoulder. Will wrapped the boy in his arms. He suddenly felt, flooded. He was swallowed up in a pool of emotion. As he swept the boy away with him, they combined their sorrows and let them swirl together and combine. Slowly, their separate sorrows became one. They held each other as they floated in a pool of misery. Slowly the sorrow ebbed away, leaving them stranded on a scratchy shore of peaceful sand. They sat, huddled together, no longer fighting off the storm, but rather, weathering it, together.

When finally they opened their eyes, hours had passed, and their bodies were becoming stiff from not moving. Logan slowly got off and Will popped another pill. Punctuating the storm with its origin making itself known to not be in the past tense. Logan kissed his cheek once and led the way to the kitchen to help with dinner.

*

A while later they were sitting at the breakfast table and eating some steak and green beans. They hadn't spoken since they had cried. Logan was confused. He had felt his music, waver. It seemed to have split; his sorrow had seeped out of him, and started flowing around them. Will was experiencing the same odd feeling of wonder. He had felt the sorrow pouring out of him like an ache in his chest draining. They both didn't know what to feel now. They had both dealt with their sorrow. They had lived with it for so long they didn't know what else to feel.

But Logan was beginning to notice that his music was back, in full strength, and it no longer had dissonant cords. As he ate he immersed himself in the flow of golden music. As he lowered himself into the pool of shimmering song his eyes closed and he gasped. Will was by his side in a moment, holding him to make sure he was all right.

"Logan. Logan! Are you all right? Logan!" Logan smiled, his eyes still closed.

"I'm better than all right, Will. It's so beautiful. I've never heard it like this. It's so, ahhh." His head fell back and he gripped himself tight in a hug. "Will, it is so, unbelievable. I wish you could hear it. It's glorious. It's like, I can't describe it." Logan's insides felt like they were being squeezed, but it was a good feeling. It made him want to scream with joy. It made him want to cry with its beauty. He unwrapped his arms from his own torso, and put them around Will's instead. He hung on tight, as if Will was the only thing that was solid in the world, because, to Logan, he was. The rest of the world was dissolving as he held this man. All that mattered was him, and wrapped his arms around so tenderly.

Will was confused, but as Logan wrapped his arms around the man's chest, he began to feel a fuzzy feeling inside. It made him smile, and confused. He didn't want it to stop, though. He wanted to feel this way for the rest of his life. He felt the boy's warm breath against his neck and he stroked the boy's back. He could feel the eyes flutter open, and sensed as the hands un-clenched, and caressed his back.

"Will. I don't know how this happened. We've only known each other a day. But, I've never felt like this. The music is..." he trembled. "Will, I think I'm in love."

For some reason this didn't shock Will. Logan pulled back just enough to look into Will's big grey eyes.

"Odd, I seem to be as well." He smiled pleasantly and stroked Logan's silky hair. He gently leaned forward, gently pressing his mouth against Logan's. Logan eased into the kiss and opened his mouth. Their tongues gently and elegantly explored each other's mouths. They slowly made love with their tongues as their hands wandered. Logan's long agile legs circled Will's hips out of instinct. Logan picked him up and carried him to his bedroom. They lay on the bed and slowly kissed. Logan seductively pulled the end of the bow of sash that was holding his meager covering on him. The knot un-tied and he pulled the side of the robe over his side, exposing his body, and his steadily growing organ, while sliding off his shoulder like a sexy diva. Will's hand found his skin and caressed his side, wrapping around and drawing him closer. The robe was soon discarded and Will's clothes began peeling off.

Not long after they were both naked and wound around each other under the warm blankets. Their mouths had rarely parted, and they were still dancing as Logan pulled his leg up over Will's hip. Will's hand descended and stroked his smooth thigh. Logan pressed up against him, rubbing their dicks together.

"Will, do you want to take me?" It was an honest question. Logan didn't really want him to, but he was willing to make this sacrifice if meant he could have this wonderful man in his life. Will sensed this and nuzzled his neck.

"Not yet. Let's just be together tonight." He felt his love relax and wrapped his arms around the boy. "It's all right. I've no need for sex." He stroked the boy's back.

"That's silly. All men need sex." The boy said quietly into Will's skin.

"I'll admit. The urge comes sometimes. But all I want to do with you right now is love you, and that doesn't need to include sex. And when and if we ever do, it will be making love, not fucking. So I will never fuck you." He stroked the boy's back as he said this and held him tight. "I love you." He whispered to the boy and kissed him again.

They lay, stroking and lying in each other's arms late into the night. When they finically fell asleep, they were both smiling.

*

Logan woke up with a warm body pressed up against his. He suddenly had a pang of terror rip through him. He clenched his ass muscled. He wasn't sore. No one had taken him. He opened his eyes and smiled. He was half an inch away from Will's sleeping face. He kissed the man gently and Will smiled.

"Good morning." He whispered. He stretched and caressed Logan's back.

"It feels good to wake up with someone, especially you, without my ass feeling like it's been ripped open." He smiled. Will chuckled.

"I love you." He breathed. Logan snuggled up against him and closed his eyes. He realized that Will was the first man in his life that wanted something other than to fuck him raw. He appreciated that, and kissed the older man's almost hairless chest. Logan seemed hairless, but he really just had very fine hairs, all over his body, that made him slightly silky to the touch. Will had a little curly brown hair on his chest, and again right below his belly button. This was the first time Logan had really thought about what was below his belly button. He snuggled up against his love and felt his half-hard member press up against his hip. It felt about seven inches long. That was pretty big. Not as big as some he had taken, but perfectly within the comfort zone.

"Lets go shopping today." Will said randomly. Their eyes met. "You need new clothes, and something fit for the weather." An hour and a half later they found themselves in a changing room in one of the best clothing stores in the city. Logan was trying on some loose white pants and a black button-down. He came out and spun. Will clapped and catcalled. Logan blushed and bowed majestically. He was a bit skinny, but they would fix that soon. The clothes fit him well, and he just seemed to light up when he put on some new clothes. He was glad to be rid of the last remnants of Dirk's hell.

When they were done they got back to the apartment with three large bags filled with stylish clothes. Logan's favorite purchase was a pair of black silk boxers. He looked fine in all the clothes. They were slightly more formal than his former ripped jeans and tee style, but the change was refreshing.

They had also gotten him a swimsuit. It wasn't a Speedo, but it was a sort of long-legged version. Logan remembered the conversation that led to the purchase:

"You look fine in that shirt, Logan. Did you workout, before?" Will watched him as he moved and noted how his long appendages had lots of lean muscle.

"Yah. Before Dirk I was in much better shape. I would swim a lot, if I could, and workout. Dirk didn't let me do that kind of stuff, I don't know why, I guess he just wanted me to be weak." The boy shrugged.

"I've got a membership to a pool I this area, what do you say we start up your routine again?"

*

So they bought the suit.

It was fun, to try on all those clothes. Logan had enjoyed showing off for Will. He missed his old physique. He had had a form bubble-but and strong smooth muscles all over his body. He would be glad to have that back. Especially if that meant he could please Will better. That was really a preoccupation for him now. He did everything to get a smile out of Will. And Will him. They seemed to be working together well.

It was later that day, after putting all the new clothes away, that the men found themselves cuddled up on a couch in the solarium, watching a crackling fire and blending. Logan was sitting on Will's lap, Will's arms around him, and ear to ear. Logan massaged his hands and gently rubbed his cheek against his partner's.

"Will, what am I going to do with my life? When I was a... with Dirk I just assumed I would die young from AIDS or some such STD. I have no idea what to do with my life." He said it wistfully, as if it was a thought that had just floated out of his mouth. *

"Well, I was kind of hoping you could stay here for a while, I could provide for you..."

"No! I don't care how perfect you are; I don't want to get into the pattern of relying on someone's money and roof. I need to get a job." He stiffened for a moment.