A Christmas Visit

"I can't," Bonnie whispered softly in my ear.

"Why not?"

"I only got one Christmas wish."

"So, seeing me was your one and only Christmas wish?"

"Well, if I chose Mom, she'd chew me out for not choosing you. I couldn't choose either Matthew or Mark because that wouldn't be fair to the other, so you were really my only choice."

My tears started flowing at that point, and I began gently weeping. Bonnie's arms tightened around me as I worked through the emotions swirling through my brain. After a while, I pulled myself together and looked Bonnie in the eye as I said, "You really do love me more."

"Of course," Bonnie replied with a smile. Our lips met, and the world went away once again as I lost myself in her love for me.

Finally, we reluctantly broke, and I said, "Grace is doing as well as can be expected. I know she misses you, but she has Kathy to lean on when it gets too much for her to handle." Knowing that Bonnie would ask about Matthew and Mark, I said, "The boys are doing fine. They have moments when we need to hug it out, but they've also been there for me. They are really getting into soccer, both being starters for their teams. You'd be so proud of them."

I paused momentarily, gathering myself before saying, "They are both calling me 'Mom' now. They decided to do that, keeping their promise to you. They are such wonderful boys, and I'm doing my best to make you proud."

Bonnie smiled through her tears as she said, "That's good. Knowing you would be there for them made it easier for me at the end. I didn't have to worry about them so I could worry about you." She sobered up, reached up, cupped my cheek with her hand, and asked, "How are you doing, my love?"

Knowing it was coming, I thought I was prepared for her question, and I did manage to hold it together for a moment. I covered her hand with my hand and said, "Oh, my love, I miss you so much." I managed that much before I started weeping, pressing in against her hand as my tears rolled down my cheeks and on our hands.

As I worked through my emotions, Bonnie patiently waited, letting me regain control. Finally, I said, "I'm getting ready to start a part-time job and go back to school to get a Master's degree in Computer Science. Once I get through that, I'll get a job with one of the local defense contractors."

"That sounds like a good plan," Bonnie said with a smile. "Then what will you do?"

I almost lost it again, but I looked her in the eyes and said, "I will find someone to love, like I promised." I immediately followed that with, "But I will never stop loving you, no matter what."

"I know."

"How can you know that? How can you know I won't stop loving you when I find someone else?"

"Because I have this," Bonnie answered, holding up her left hand. For the first time, I noticed the two rings on her finger, each with half of a heart, intertwined, making a whole heart; the rings we had worn to pledge our love for each other. I remembered taking my ring off my finger and putting it on her hand before the coffin was closed. "I have half of your heart right here, and I know I will always have it. So don't worry about that."

At that moment, all of the built-up guilt and doubt I had been carrying with me melted away, and I sighed and relaxed. Bonnie took the opportunity to roll over on top of me. Our lips met as my arms went around her and clinched, pulling her body tight to mine. Our moans combined to make an indescribable sound that made my soul soar. Finally, we broke, gasping.

Bonnie began nuzzling my jaw before moving down onto my neck. My hands drifted down and cradled her ass, my fingers digging into her flesh as Bonnie found all of the spots that drove me wild. When she moved to my clavicle, she hesitated for a moment before I felt a brief, sharp sting as she nipped it. Bonnie lifted her head, locked eyes with me, and husked, "You'll always be mine!"

"Always, my love," I husked back, overwhelmed by the feeling of being possessed by this incredible woman.

When Bonnie reached my breasts, I reveled in the sensations zinging through my body as she licked, sucked, and nipped my stiff, aching nipples. My hands flew to the back of her head, pressing her mouth into my breast, urging Bonnie to thoroughly enjoy herself. I moaned my disappointment when her mouth started drifting down over my ribs onto my core, drawing a soft snort from her. When her tongue dove into my divot, I jerked, getting a chuckle from Bonnie.

Bonnie backed away as she approached my pussy. She took her time nuzzling up one crease before nuzzling down the other crease, my anticipation growing by leaps and bounds. When I felt her hot breath on my lips, I brought my heels down on her back, urging her to dive in. When I felt her tongue working up and down my slit, I started rolling my hips and tried to guide her head to where I wanted her tongue.

Bonnie ignored my efforts and took her time while working me up into a frenzy. Finally, when her tongue plunged into my hole, I gasped out an "Oh, God!" and started bucking my hips, wanting her tongue as deep in me as possible. By now, I was overwhelmed by all the impulses flying through my body, and I was flung around by the hurricane of her ministrations. I lost all sense of self as I ran headlong over the cliff and crashed into an incredible orgasm that seemed to go on forever. Finally, I could take no more, and I faded away ...

... I gradually became aware of the world around me. When I opened my eyes, I beheld the beauty lying beside me, her head propped up on one hand, looking down at me with a satisfied look on her face. I smiled and managed to croak, "Oh, my God, my love. That was incredible!"

"Good," Bonnie said, reaching up and cupping my cheek. "I love making you come undone like that."

"Anytime you want, my love," I murmured, leaning into her hand. The lassitude threatened to overcome me, but I fought it off, wanting to return the favor.

It took me a few minutes, but as soon as I got control of myself, I rolled over on top of Bonnie, eager to make her scream my name. I started nuzzling Bonnie's neck before working down over her clavicle and onto her chest. I attacked her breasts, nuzzling the few faint stretch marks that proclaimed Bonnie's motherhood. After worshipping them properly, I latched onto her right nipple, sucking her rigid nipple into my mouth before laving it with my tongue. I loved the sounds Bonnie made as I nipped it from time to time, knowing she enjoyed my ministrations.

After paying the proper attention to both of her breasts, I slowly worked my way down Bonnie's core, diving into her divot before finally reaching the V, directing me to my goal. I nuzzled her creases, feeling the heat from her pussy on my cheeks before I eventually wormed my tongue between her lips. I collected her juices, savoring them as I worked my way from clit to perineum. Finally, I plunged my tongue into her hole, eliciting an "Oh, God!" from her. Bonnie arched her back and started rolling her hips, her heels coming down on my shoulder blades, urging me on. Her hands came down on my head, forcing my face tight to her pussy. I didn't mind because there was no place else I'd rather be.

It didn't take long to bring Bonnie to her first orgasm, her writhing and spasming nearly throwing me off her. I held on and continued attacking her pussy, driving her to multiple orgasms before she went limp and a small gush of fluids hit my chin. I cleaned her up before crawling up beside her and holding her while she recovered.

When Bonnie's eyes fluttered open, I locked eyes with her, my eyes burning with unshed tears as I thought about how much I loved her. Knowing that this would have to soon end, I desperately wanted to spend every remaining second loving Bonnie. "I love you," I whispered as the tears started flowing.

Bonnie reached up and brushed my tears away as she said, "No tears, my love."

"Of course," I replied, smiling as I obeyed her command, willing the tears away.

Without any more words, Bonnie rolled on top of me and started grinding her pussy against mine. As she propped herself up over me, I grabbed her breasts, massaging them while pinching and pulling her hard nipples. I synchronized my movements with Bonnie's, maximizing the pleasure we both got from our efforts. Soon, we both crashed into our orgasms together, and I lost control of my body as Bonnie collapsed on top of me, both of us spasming as we worked through our orgasms.

Once again, we ended up lying side-by-side, enjoying our mutual afterglow. The lassitude began to overcome me as my eyes drifted shut. I drowsily said, "I love you."

As the world faded away, I heard my love say, "I love you more ...."

***

... I became aware of a soft tapping on my bedroom door as I slowly woke up, alone in my bed. Gone was the warmth of a body spooned up against me, and I fought back the tears as I drowsily opened my eyes. "Yes?" I queried to the door.

"Mom, everyone's up, and we're all waiting for you," I heard Matthew say through the door.

Realizing that it must be morning, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and called out, "Okay, Matthew. I'll be out in a minute."

As I threw back the sheets, I realized that I was naked. I was sure I had gone to bed with my sleeping tee and panties on. My heart started racing as I briefly considered the idea that last night wasn't a dream after all. After a moment, I angrily pushed that thought out of my head and looked for my bedclothes. I found my panties on the floor along with my tee, looking like they had been flung there in a moment of passion.

I got out of bed and quickly pulled on my sleeping tee. I looked for evidence that the other side of the bed had been occupied, and to my amazement, it was disturbed, as though someone had been in bed with me. "No, I just thrashed around last night while dreaming about Bonnie being here," I argued, still not believing what had happened last night was real.

I quickly entered the bathroom to take care of my toilet before heading out. As I checked my appearance in the mirror, I noticed a fading mark peeking out from under the collar of my sleeping tee. In disbelief, I pulled the collar of my tee down and saw the evidence of a love bite on my clavicle. I touched it and felt the irritation, so I knew it was really there. "No, it's not possible," I said aloud, not wanting to believe the evidence right before my eyes. "It's like those people who display the stigmata ... it's 'mind over matter.'"

I stood there, stunned, not wanting to accept it but not wanting to pass it all off as a dream, either. I grabbed my robe and dashed back into the bedroom, looking at the bed again. As much as I didn't want to believe it, it did look as if there had been two people lying in it. As my mind churned, trying to figure out what it all meant, I donned my robe and tied it up.

I left my bedroom and entered the living room, where everyone had gathered. Like me, Grace wore a robe, while Matthew and Mark wore their pajamas. Matthew stepped up to me, wrapped me up in a hug, and said, "Merry Christmas, Mom."

"Merry Christmas, Matthew," I replied as my arms encircled him.

After a beat, Matthew stepped back, and Mark took his place. Mark hugged me and said, "Merry Christmas, Mom."

"Merry Christmas, Mark," I returned, giving him a hug as well.

Mark moved away, and Grace came up, and we clinched in a hug as she said, "Merry Christmas, sweetie."

"Merry Christmas, Grace," I said before I gave her a kiss on her cheek. We held our hug for a moment as I tried to keep myself together. Before I teared up, I stepped back, and I could see that Grace's eyes were shiny from unshed tears.

By unspoken agreement, none of us mentioned Bonnie while we opened our presents. As was our custom, Matthew oversaw the distribution of gifts after I handed him my gift, the keys to my Mustang. Once all of the presents were opened, Grace and I headed into the kitchen to fix breakfast while Matthew and Mark cleaned up the living room and went to get showered and dressed.

As Grace and I prepared breakfast, I casually said to her, "At church last night, someone mentioned the Rodney King riots earlier this year, and it reminded me of a story Bonnie told me about her trip to summer camp right after the Watts riots in 1965."

Grace stiffened momentarily and then relaxed as she said, "Yes, that was a scary time. I was worried that the camp would be canceled at the last moment and Bonnie wouldn't be able to go."

"Yes," I replied. "That would have ruined your plans for the road trip you took with Kathy to San Francisco."

Grace looked stunned. She asked, "Bonnie told you about that?"

"She told me that when she got back from summer camp, she had noticed how happy you were about having had some time to spend with Kathy." I paused for a beat before I continued, "She told me that was the moment she realized that you were more than just her mother ... that you were someone who had their own life to live, and she was so happy that you had that opportunity to spend time with Kathy."

Grace teared up when I said that, so I hugged and held her while she wept. Finally, she pulled back and asked, "She really said that?"

"Yes," I answered. "That was about the same time in my life that I realized that my parents were regular people, too, and had their own lives to live outside of being my parents. It was quite a revelation."

Before we could continue, I heard Matthew and Mark coming down the stairs, so Grace and I turned back to the stove to finish plating up the food. They entered the kitchen, grabbed their plates and drinks, and headed to the table. Grace and I grabbed our food and drinks and joined them. My mood improved as I heard the boys discussing their plans for the day. Grace and I exchanged knowing smiles, and I loved how they were not letting the loss of their mother ruin the day.

Soon, breakfast was done. Matthew and Mark policed the table and offered to clean up. I thanked them before Grace and I went to our rooms to shower and dress. After I undressed, while waiting for the water to get hot in the shower, I looked in the mirror. I checked the rapidly fading bite mark on my clavicle, lightly touching it with my fingertips as I teared up. The enormity of what had happened during the night overwhelmed me, and I sank to my knees and threw up a prayer to Him, thanking Him for the gift I had been given. I felt His assurance that He had everything under control, so I ended my prayer with a 'Thy will be done' before I got up and entered the shower.

I was in a good mood by the time I exited my bedroom, and I was actually looking forward to the rest of the day. Kathy was on her way over, and we would have Christmas dinner together. Matthew and Mark left to visit their friends after I secured their promise to return in time for dinner. Grace and I started working on dinner. Kathy showed up shortly afterward with the gifts she had for us and joined us in the kitchen. We all chatted, talking about this and that while finishing preparing dinner.

As promised, Matthew and Mark returned on time, and we all sat down together for dinner. Despite the absence of Bonnie, it was an enjoyable dinner. As I looked around the table, surrounded by all of the people I'd come to love over the past seven years, I realized that Bonnie was still here with me. I looked at Grace, who reminded me of an older version of Bonnie, looking more like an older sister than her mother. I looked over at Mark, noting how he looked like a male version of her. My gaze shifted to Matthew, and my heart clenched as I thought how proud I was of the man he was growing into. Although he looked nothing like Bonnie, his mannerisms and actions reminded me so much of her.

Whether last night had been just a dream or not, I had no doubt that Bonnie would be waiting for me when my time here on Earth was over. Now, I just had to find someone else to love until that day came.

***

Author's Note:

I want to wish all my readers and followers Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.