A Convenient Place

You are warned that some people will find that the sex in the story below shocks them. IF IN DOUBT OR UNDER 18, READ SOMETHING ELSE. This story contains no reference to real events or to real people This story may be reproduced in any form provided credit is given to Penelope Caesar.

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The elderly woman in the white coat sat her well dressed and middle aged companion down on one of the two chairs. She poured a cup of coffee for the sitting woman from a Thermos jug, then one for herself.

"Too cosy for comfort in here isn't it?" She indicated the close confines of the cubby-hole crowded with very neatly kept cleaning equipment. She sat on the other chair. " I'm sorry I had to interrupt you when you were having such a lovely time, but the noise you were making was beginning to disturb some of my other ladies."

"Its not your fault. I should know better than to try out a special new vibrator in a public toilet. I've known that I make too much noise when I get going ever since the maid let on that she had heard me when I was on my first honeymoon."

"I first learned to keep silent when our lodger used to creep into my bed when I was fifteen. It has saved me one or two awkward moments since then." She giggled. "I heard my husband talking to his sister on the other side of the door at her wedding when the bridegroom not only had me coming but came in me himself. They never suspected a thing."

"You will have to give me lessons."

"Actually you don't need to keep it quiet here. If I had known, I could have let you have the little room I have fitted out behind here. It is the old store room for both the ladies' toilet and the gentlemen's next door. Both the doors are thick and I have fitted felt round them so you can scarcely hear even from here, let alone in the toilets. Have a look." She opened a narrow door behind her companion, switching on a light.

"Oh! You have made it pretty." The middle aged woman slipped inside; volubly admiring the matching wallpaper, bed covering and lightshades. She loved the way the painted ceiling picked up the light blue from the painted sky of the false window, and made the whole tiny room seem more spacious. She noticed the concealed ventilator humming gently in the window.

"The other door goes through into the cleaner's cupboard matching this one in the men's' side. I look after both sides nowadays, and I have the only keys to the other doors. Five pounds for half an hour if you want it, to go on trying out your vibrator today, or try another one another day."

"Not today , thanks. Do you rent it to men too?"

"They use the phone to speak to me." She gestured with her portable telephone. "There's a homosexual pair that will be along in a few minutes. Not that I could fancy either of them."

"What sort of men do you fancy when you have the offer?" The elderly woman chuckled and said " If there was a queue, I'd take the young, slim ones who are not too slow about it once they have got me going. How about you?"

"We wouldn't be fighting over them. The dream man I get hot and bothered about is tall, near my own age with a bit of flesh on him - and not just sticking out down there. And I have fantasies about him going on and on. I have got a yen for moustaches too."

The elderly woman shook her head. "What do you mean by tall? I like them four or five inches taller than me myself, but you must be three or four inches taller than I am yourself."

"Four or five inches taller than me would be six foot or six foot one. That would do nicely."

"You've hit a new gentleman of mine off to a tee. Moustache and all. What would you say to an hour in my little room at say twelve thirty tomorrow?"

"Oh no! I'd be much too embarrassed."

"No need to give your name or anything. I've got these masks to cover the top half of your face if you really don't want to be recognised. Here, try one. My gentleman wore one himself the only time he met anyone here before. And one or two of my ladies bring wigs, but they need to be custom made to really stay on." The middle aged woman selected a mask with a coloured pattern which included a close colour match to the blue of her eyes. She looked at in the mirror from her purse, and then in the larger mirror behind her companion. "It does something for me, and it would go marvellously with a `suspender belt set I have."

The older woman had called a pre-programmed number on her phone before the other looked away from the mirror. "Mrs. Sanders here, sir. Would you care for a peach for your lunch tomorrow? Yes, twelve thirty, and I will bring in some nice sandwiches if you bring the wine, sir. Until twelve thirty sir."

"But you can't! I haven't agreed to anything!"

"You don't have to agree. I was going by the way your hips twitched when you thought of those undies of yours. Best if you don't agree actually. Then all you have to do is turn up here and he has to persuade you."

The middle aged woman squirmed in the chair and said "But isn't there a risk of disease, AIDS and so on?"

"He has to wear a condom. I keep a stock but the only way to be sure it is where it should be is for you to put it on him yourself."

"Well, I suppose I can always walk out if I don't like anything."

"You can, but you will have to pay me five pounds in advance."

"Doesn't he pay you?"

"Equal rights nowadays; you both pay. But I am old fashioned like my little room, so he pays twenty-five pounds for his hour. It covers a clean set of my matching sheets and sandwiches as well."

"But if they like one another, don't a lot of pairs meet somewhere else and not come back to you?"

"Yes. Apart from anything else, I have been to two weddings of couples who met in my little room." The phone rang. "The door is open for you. Remember to bolt it while you are in there. And make sure you enjoy it as much as he does this time." She put down the phone. "My gays. They pay equally, but they only stay half an hour. Do you want to leave me a telephone number in case my gentleman goes sick or anything?"

They exchanged telephone numbers. "See you tomorrow then, and you won't need that vibrator. But take a tip. Have a gin and tonic about twelve o'clock, and get here a few minutes early so you have time to get ready, with your mask on and everything."

Just before one thirty the next day, Mrs Sanders opened her spyhole on the little room. The lady of the masked pair was on top, still with her stockings and suspender belt on. Both looked close to coming. She could not bear to interrupt them; her gentleman would have to be late back from lunch today. And the pair would pay for an extra half hour, of course.