A Dreamless Sleep

I retired from instructing and oversaw and looked after the financial side of things. Life was now set in a steady rhythm and I was as content as I ever had been since moving here. Alison still consumed my thoughts, but I was happy in that I thought I did the right thing by her. I'd attempted to make various relationships work, but found I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with them. The sex was pleasurable, I learnt to please my woman in bed but I found the sex lacked intimacy and connection. I also felt as if I was cheating on Alison every time I took a woman to bed, so I decided to steer clear. I settled with the reality of never being able to be with the woman I loved and got on with my life.

One day after finishing an audit at the gym I was riding home when disaster struck. It was quite wet and visibility of my motorbike helmet was quite poor. The visor started fogging up and there were droplets of water constantly sliding down my visor. I was negotiating a sharp corner on a steep hill when it happened, my front wheel dropped into a pothole and I lost control. As a result, I was flung over the handlebars hitting my head on the road and slid sideways into the guardrail. I ended up with a severe concussion, a broken collarbone and two broken ribs.

I remember going over the bars. It was like slow motion, a life altering event about to happen. Thoughts were running through my head a million miles an hour. Is this it? Is that car behind me going to stop in time? Was I happy with what I achieved in my life? I knew the answer to the last question instantly. I shut my eyes tightly and braced for impact. And then I hit the concrete...

I woke up a week later, having been placed in an induced coma for some time. My head felt like a truck ran over it. I then felt the agonising pain when breathing and realised I must have broken a few ribs. My shoulder was in a sling. Upon realising I was in the hospital, I called for a nurse. He filled me in on the eyewitness account of my crash and the extent of my injuries. He also said he would notify my next of kin that I woke up. It was my co-owner of one of the gyms. I didn't feel quite at ease with that; if I died the person to be notified would be a work colleague, someone who only knew me on a superficial level. At thirty seven, I made plans to sell both of my gyms to my co-owner. I was coming back home.

The accident was like an epiphany, I wasn't truly happy, I was sure of that. I hit my head severely and was lucky to avoid brain damage, the two ribs I broke could have easily punctured my lung and my collarbone didn't need any major surgery. The doctor said there must be a reason I was still alive.

Guilt and realisation set in over my actions those many years ago. Part of me felt like I did the right thing, but Alison was a grown woman, it was her decision too. The grandparents couldn't see the harm the brother caused to Alison because he was placed on a pedestal and was labelled the golden child. I got in touch with one of my old school friends whose wife worked with Alison at the same accounting firm and got me her address. I sent her a sincere letter of apology, it read:

Dearest Alison,

I would like to sincerely apologise for my actions sixteen years previous. I thought I was acting in our mutual best interests; however, I see it was cowardly and it hurt you. You were an adult too; I should have discussed it with you. I am by no means trying to excuse my behaviour, but I think it was because I felt inadequate for you. How could a woman as beautiful and kind-hearted as you be interested in me? I put all the flirting and affection down to your cheeky nature and frustration due to the immature guys you were "supposed" to be dating. I never did find someone to settle down with and share my life with. I think it's because I will always be in love with you. I'm an entrepreneur and run two gyms over here, but am considering moving back home. Life isn't the same when you're away from family and friends, and it gets lonely. I sincerely hope you have found all the happiness you deserve in life. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I wanted to let you know how I truly felt.

Love always,

James.

True to form I did not receive a reply. I didn't expect too. I fucked it up pretty severely. I did feel better now that I had expressed my true feelings to the person I held most dear to me.

After my 8 weeks of rest and rehabilitation I decided to head back to work and begin tying up my loose ends. I lined up another personal training job at home, I didn't really need a job with the funds I would get from the sale of the two gyms and the shares I had in the stock market. However, I needed to do something to pass the time, and a source of meaning in my life.

I searched for housing online and focussed on various apartments surrounding my old area. On the weekends I would fly down to inspect the properties of interest. I settled with a luxurious bungalow; I bought it outright, a two bedroom apartment with a luxurious bathroom attached to the master suite. It was only a few minutes' walk from the beach and was only three suburbs over from my parent's old house, everything was familiar.

It's funny the way life happens. Some call it luck, some call it fate, some believe it is the work of a higher power, others say chance; the way the most insignificant decisions redirect our total life route. I checked my mail just before departing my old house for the final time and was surprised to find a hand written letter addressed to me. The handwriting definitely wasn't feminine, I could tell you that much.

As it turned out it was twenty years since our high school class graduated and a reunion would be held the next month. If there was any chance I could see Alison again, I would be there for certain. It was settled, I wasn't going to miss it for anything short of being put on my death bed.

The next month proved rather hectic; furnishing the new apartment, unpacking boxes and settling in back at work. The days seemed to drag on with the knowledge I may see Alison again. I felt like a child on Christmas, the anticipation, almost too much. At forty I was in great shape and incredibly successful. I was keen to prove wrong those who said I would amount to nothing; the sweet satisfaction.

The day had arrived. It felt like the clock hands were frozen. Eventually clock off time came by and I headed home to get ready. After all the particulars were addressed, I suited up. I was happy I still filled out that same suit from seventeen years ago just as well now as I did then. I checked my Rolex, Seven on the dot. Moments later the cab pulled up and I was off, possibly more nervous than that night many years ago.

As I walked in I felt the eyes of the room burn into me, I tried to hide the smug look on my face and quickly found a friend I had kept in contact with. The night was better than I expected, many had mellowed out and were genuinely interested in the direction each of our lives had taken.

True to form, some had not changed and were still arrogant and narcissistic as ever. This was evident as many of the ex-cheerleaders commented on my Rolex immediately after exchanging pleasantries. Typical gold diggers. I tracked down the woman who worked at Alison's firm and made a beeline. She was also the wife of my friend, so I thought it was only polite to say hello. It was genuinely good to see her and I was happy for my old friends as they seemed truly happy with their life at this stage. I asked about her job and subtly enquired whether Alison would be attending this evening.

"Not that I know of, the last time I heard she was travelling in Europe and would be arriving back this Sunday."

My heart sunk, this was the most probable outcome, but it still hurt. I headed to the bar with the intention of drowning my sorrows.

I was two drinks when I considered going home. Drinking away my problems wasn't going to work.

"Hello James."

I almost choked on my rum and started spluttering. It had to be her. That same sultry voice, confusion wracked my brain. I turned stunned, like a deer in the headlights. I took her in, she was ravishing, wearing that same seductive dress, her hair still a rich red. She had aged elegantly and looked even more beautiful in my honest opinion. That trademark smile and her toned womanly figure, not much had changed.

She concealed a smirk and sat down next me. "Last time I checked the gentleman should buy the woman a drink." My face turned a crimson red, like a teenager after their first kiss. As the waiter approached I asked for a glass of red. She smiled, impressed I still remembered. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

She flashed me that mischievous smile and said, "This has to be the longest time period of time you've gone without talking."

I laughed and put it down to nerves as I didn't actually think this would happen. At that moment that same song that played that seventeen odd years ago rang out from the speakers.

"If you dance with me to our song, maybe I can clear a few things up for you," she whispered.

We took our spot on the dance floor. She placed my hands on her hips and hooked her arms around my neck and pulled me in close.

"I was so angry with you when you left. You were the only guy that treated me better than a piece of arse or a punching bag. You were so sweet; all those years ago when we kissed in the hotel room you didn't pressure me. You let me get comfortable with the transformation of our friendship into something more, maybe even lovers. When grandma died, you were there for me, you helped me through it. We were spooned up naked next to each other and you didn't try anything. I would have done anything, being that vulnerable and lonely, and you knew it and respected me. Grandpa didn't approve, but I didn't care. I knew the real reasoning behind it and it was good enough for me. I was in love with you. When I received the letter I rushed across to your apartment, but you were gone, I tried calling but you changed the number. I slipped into a depression and was bitter with the world. You were my best friend. I had a few boyfriends, none of them worked out, I couldn't commit. I didn't want to admit it, but it was because I was still in love with you. I travelled, backpacking through Europe, Canada and America. I eventually settled down and started working at Claire's accounting firm. I got your letter a few months ago and broke down after I read it, although you hurt me so much I instantly forgave you. I saw the invitation and changed the dates of my flights so I could attend in hopes that you would be here."

I silenced her with a kiss, it was one of passion, tongues caressing and teasing. She moaned into my mouth and pulled away. She brought her lips to my ear and whispered

"Public sex isn't really a big turn on for me, should we get out of here?"

I chuckled and whispered "you're right, let's go back to my apartment."

We couldn't keep our hands off each other for the five minute ride in the cab. Twenty five years of desire boiled over; her hands stroked over my abs and my now rock hard cock, as my hands explored the contours of her toned but curvy body. Running my fingertips over her breasts and sides and the sweeping curves of her hips. Feather light touches tracing down from those perfect peach shaped cheeks down to her petite ankles and feet. I paid the cab driver with a $50 note and said keep the change. I opened the passenger door and swept her up in my arms, she giggled with surprise and called me a fool, as I took her to my front door.

As soon as I turned after locking the door she pounced on me. She kissed me passionately and began to clumsily unbutton my coat and trousers. No regard was held to my tie and shirt, however; as buttons were sent flying everywhere. I pinned her up against the wall and instructed her to lift her arms as I swiftly pulled the dress off her. There we were, her topless and in only a very sheer, lacy black thong, looking completely innocent and in total surrender; and I completely naked, more turned on and harder than I had ever been in my life. I nibbled her neck softly, her back arched as her whole body quivered. I looked deep into those clear blue eyes and said "I love you Alison."

She replied "I love you James. Now take me to bed and make love to me", and I happily obliged.

I placed one hand on each firm cheek and lifted her so her legs hooked around my waist. I walked her to the master bedroom, where I positioned my hand behind her head and softly placed her down on the king sized bed. I sat with knees astride of her torso and took all my weight on my elbow and legs. We began to passionately kiss, my lips trailing further south to her neck. I showered her with butterfly kisses, from her throat to her earlobe. Nibbling, kissing, licking and sucking in the gentlest way possible in an attempt to memorise her body by smell and touch. Once there I whispered to her my affection, "You look more beautiful than ever.."

She moaned and begged for my hands and mouth to go lower. "Please James. Please, I need you."

Respecting the wishes of my beautiful lady, I did as requested. I cupped both her breasts and gently squeezed those perfect orbs. Her areolas were large and slightly darker than her pale pink nipples. I began kissing the creamy white tops of her breasts and worked my way down as my mouth created a moist trail down her left breast; while my right hand caressed and stroked her right orb. Both actions were performed simultaneously with just enough pressure to turn the contact from a tickle to a loving caress. When I reached her areola, I kissed and licked around without touching it, paying close attention to the bottom and sides of her breast with my nose, lips, and tongue. Her shallow breathing and soft whimpering told me she was enjoying it. I went in for the kill and covered her nipple with my mouth. I began to suckle with gentle pressure while my tongue frantically traced over her distended nipple.

Sensing her heightening pleasure I traversed lower, continuing to bestow wet, sweet kisses over every inch of her body at a gentle pace. My nose gently sliding along her smooth belly while my fingers caressed from the side of her breasts to those curvaceous hips and that luscious behind. I kissed and licked over the sheer material of her thong, my ministrations tapering with her natural "v". I nuzzled my nose and cheek over the small tuft of silky, ginger hair, breathing in her fragrance. I placed soft kisses and wet licks over the thin material covering the puffy engorged lips of her pussy, bypassing her clit. My mouth continued to trail kisses down each leg from her inner thighs to her ankle and back up. Her breathing became shallow with anticipation as I licked and kissed my way from the back of her knees to the wet lips of her sex.

"Please James, eat me", she cried.

She had endured the sweet torture long enough, so I went about removing her thong with my teeth. The smell of her arousal was like an addictive drug. I couldn't help myself, I had to taste her. I took one slow lick. From just below her pussy to her clit, savouring the taste of the woman I had desired for so long. I took her clit into my mouth, gently flicking my tongue over it. Her head was thrashing back and forth in a state of sexual Nirvana. My continual kissing and sucking of her little nubbin was pushing her fast towards the edge, so I slipped two fingers inside while I increased the suction on her clit. This set her off like a geyser; instantly the unmistakable moans and whimpers I'd heard those 17 years ago filled the room. My face was flooded with her orgasmic juices as I tried in vain to savour all her sweet nectar. After Alison came down from her climax I placed a gentle kiss on her pussy and kissed up her body yet again, stopping at her navel and neck. She took my head in her hands and kissed me fiercely. She bit my neck hard, grabbed my already throbbing cock and whispered "I need this in me." I shuddered with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

She sat astride me and instructed me to lean against the headboard. Squatting gracefully over my hardened member, she looked me in the eye and bit her lip as she rubbed my cock head over her wet slit. Nothing could prepare me for the sensation I felt next as I felt my cock head disappear between her moist velvet folds. We moaned in unison as she impaled herself on me and took in my full length. She leaned in and placed her forehead against mine, our noses touching. Slowly she began to move her hips in a circular motion, gently grinding her delicious quim against my cock. We were kissed passionately amongst the laboured breathing. This wasn't just two people fucking; this was two people making love. The focus was not to reach climax but instead to linger intimacy; memorising the sensation of being joined as one body, to quench the mutual desire of lust and love after 17 years.

Gradually she began to slide up and down. She was so tight. Her walls gripped me like a velvet glove. The pleasure enhanced by the knowledge this was my soul mate and the woman I truly loved. I placed my hands on her hips and caressed her side. She offered me a breast and I willingly sucked her nipple into my mouth. She held my head to her breast as she slowly thrusted those wide hips. Our mutual sighs and moans filled the room. As we both approached a mutual climax we looked deeply into each other's eyes and whispered our innermost thoughts to each other.

"I love you honey."

"I love you too Alison."

"Yes, yes. Ahhhhh, So good James."

"I'm going to cum, cum inside me James, cum with me James."

Her words were like a trigger, a mental climax; shockwaves of pleasure shot from my brain through my body and pushed me over the edge. I pumped my seed deep into her as I held her close and rubbed her back soothingly. It was the most powerful and satisfying climax of my life. The throbbing of my cock pushed her over the edge, her climax took hold. With every contraction of her pussy, my seed was milked from my cock. We kissed softly and held each other as we came down from our mutual climax. Alison placed her head on my chest as we declared our love for each other once more.

Strangely, I didn't dream that night, and now I know why for certain. I didn't have to fantasise about being with the woman I loved, she was right next to me.