A Drow's Dilemma Ep. 31: Rebels

"Oh, I really hope that we do." Althaia responded.

Caleldir gave her a suspicious look. "Are you sure that you are..." his eyes flashed blue, and he sighed, leaning back. "Yes. Yes you are." He shook his head. The nymph still had an aura of being 'strongly lawful.' How?

"What's more lawful than crushing the outlaws?" Selene said with a glint in her eye and a body language that was very much like Althaia's. There were strange moments when Selene agreed with people who she really shouldn't be agreeing with. This was one of them. A drow and a surface world paladin should, by all rights, be fighting one another constantly. But aside from the drow disapproving of the paladin's sexual ardor, they seemed to get along pretty okay. It was likely due to the part of their alignment that they shared.

Ashyr just had to laugh at all three of them. Of course, she wasn't sure why any of them cared very much about their alignments.

The cart suddenly stopped. "Woah!" The coachman said. Outside, there was a thud as he jumped down.

Cieraela poked her head back into the carriage. "There is a roadblock up ahead. Some huge, huge rocks fallen over the road. They look to be placed there deliberately."

Althaia looked almost orgasmic, beginning to breathe somewhat suggestively. "An ambush! Oh yessss..." She licked her lips.

Caleldir sighed. "Well, we may have a fight on our hands. Might as well give this obstruction a look-over, at any rate."

Both drow seemed completely familiar with the road blocking tactic. How many times had they seen or hear this before? Likely hundreds of times. They expected this instance to go about the same way, except this time they didn't have battle-hardened duergar or wickedly smart drow to deal with. No, more likely than not, these were just run-of-the-mill human bandits. Perfect for the firm justice of the law (slaughter).

"Stay in here, Selene. Don't need you getting caught by a stray arrow." Ashyr told her. "-Oh, don't look at me like that. If we do get attacked, I'll save one for you. You just won't risk wasting a spell if this isn't an ambush. I'll go out to see about the obstruction. Coming with me, Althaia?"

Althaia was, of course, way overly eager to get out of the carriage, nearly leaping out. That being said, with Althaia carrying full plate armor as if it was made of paper, and Ashyr being... well, obviously a drow, only the most stupid of bandits would underestimate them.

"Looks like we got some beauts here, lads!" A rough male voice chortled. About ten red-haired, green eyed clansmen popped out of their hiding spots, booted and kilted, wielding claymores, dirks, and some sort of bizarre local wand that shot out bits of lead with gunpowder instead of magic. Firearms, some called them. Normally highly, highly impractical, since they were slow, loud, and terribly inaccurate.

Caleldir narrowed his eyes. "Clan Kulguan." He stated, looking at the plaid pattern of deep green interspersed with black and red that they all shared. "A sad day when an ancient clan, once so honorable, falls to petty brigandry."

"Ach, laddie." The tallest one, standing well over six feet, replied. He seemed to be the leader. "Tis' sad, but the county has betrayed us one too many times. Now we must take back from it. A fellow such as yourself will hardly begrudge a slight... toll, in exchange for removing these here stones and allowing your pretty selves to continue on unbothered."

Caleldir looked over to Ashyr and Althaia. The two of them were clearly itching for a fight, and weren't impressed by the mere ten men. "I am sorry, but I think we are of a mind to refuse. You would need a team of horses to move those stones" or a mage. "I do not see any horses around, so how do you plan on clearing the road if we were to pay?"

"Oh, that would be our chief." The clansman said idly. "Our chief can shift them rocks like so many pebbles."

"Why! Hearty salutations to you, excellent travelers of above-average affluence upon this beautiful morn!" The deep, velvety rich female voice came from the other side of the obstruction. About halfway through her first sentence, she leaped over the huge stones with the grace of a tigress, landing just behind her men. A fierce, imposing figure she was: hair the color of wet blood braided behind her pointed ears; draconic eyes like glowing emeralds; and skin the shade of bleached bones, with a delicate tracery of moon-silver tattoos in abstract patterns across the right half of her face, as well as both her exposed arms. When she smiled, she had noticeably vampiric fangs. Since a slight misty smoke came off of her skin where the sun hit it, it may have been that more than her teeth was vampiric. She wore what amounted to a feathered bonnet leather vest, boots, bracers, a mid-thigh-length kilt in the same pattern as her men, and finally a sash of the same design bound with an expensive gold and emerald brooch. Despite her monstrous appearance, she was dazzlingly beautiful, and appeared younger rather than older. Not that that meant anything.

Oh, and she stood nearly nine feet tall.

In one hand, she hefted a monster of a blade that likely weighed more than Ashyr, while her other held one of the clan's impractical firearms, this one a rather terribly oversized flintlock pistol. The woman grinned broadly at the travelers. "My sincere apologies, brave adventurers, but we seem to have fallen on times of a peculiar pecuniary persuasion, and - not being beggars - have been forced to collect involuntary donations from passers by. I hope you will not begrudge us some slight remunerations for the kind service we provide of leaving your skins unpunctured."

A dark chuckle began to softly escape Ashyr's lips. Oh, yes. This would be at least as fun as trying to fly with the harpies.

Selene watched what transpired from inside the carriage. She shifted down in the seat to make it seem like she was trying to hide from the rest of them. Just some weak noble afraid of battle. Nothing to see here. Ignore the almost exultant look that only touched her bloodthirsty crimson eyes. Definitely don't suspect her of quickly casting spells to attack the bandits.

"I think you're in the wrong profession, dear." Ashyr said sweetly. "Go to the south; you'll find all manner of rich goblins and kobolds. They're more your speed." Actually, that would likely be a much better use of their time. Oh well. Ashyr wasn't about to mourn the loss of a very stupid clan. Maybe stupid wasn't the word for it. Unlucky sounded better. How were they supposed to know they picked on the one party with a man who only got more dangerous when dead, a snake guy who stole from the gods, a stab-happy nymph paladin, and two sadistic drow? "You know, I really think you should pay us a protection fee. I'm afraid it'll be quite steep; we're itching for a fight."

The highland chieftainess laughed. "That sanguine, are you?" Her draconic eyes darted over the party. She inhaled deeply, and smiled predatorily. "A scrimmage you desire, eh? Well then, an old-fashioned brawl is what we will give you. There is nothing quite as invigorating as a friendly tussle, with gold and death on the line." Her eyes met Althaia's. "You seem to be the toughest of this gratifyingly resilient lot, how about a little bit of personal interaction?"

Althaia grinned in a similar way. "A chance to smite an evil draconic vampire giantess? I have lived for this day."

"Excellent to hear." the chieftainess replied. She looked over at her men. "Do not kill them if possible, but teach them a lesson. Be sure your Recalls are in effect in case we are outmatched."

"Aye, chief!" The clansman replied enthusiastically. With a crack as loud as a lighting spell, they fired off the first round of bullets, shooting with terrible accuracy. The was when the first of Selene's spells hit, her standard vine spell that whipped out from the ground, lashing and grabbing. Five of the highlanders leaped back out of the spell, taking minor damage, where they, shockingly, began firing off more rounds. These were no mere primitive inaccurate single-shot firearms, but some strange mixture of magic and gunpowder that made the rare weapons actually relevant.

The other five clansman hefted their claymores and leaped forward with a warcry in their own tongue, striking at Caleldir and Ashyr. The chieftainess herself, of course, took her massive blade with both hands and moved with shocking speed towards Althaia, who barely parried it with armored arms crossed above her. Given how strong the nymph was, the fact that she was forced visibly to her knees with one blow testified to the terrifying strength of her opponent. Not that the nymph seemed to mind. "Oh yesss..." She breathed. Pulling away from the blow and rolling to the side, she punched back, landing a solid hit in the woman's chest. Now it was her turn to smile. The fight was on.

For their part, the coachman seemed to be still pretending to be useless, cowering off to the side, while Cieraela took her long knife and made as if to leap off the coach, when her trainer stopped her. She sighed, leaning back and crossing her arms, pouting.

Caleldir, with a sword and a staff, warded off the highlanders' attacks, but seemed to be fighting more defensively than offensively.

Ashyr knew it was coming; she saw the instant that the gunmen decided to fire upon her. What she didn't anticipate was the effectiveness and accuracy of their weapons. She dodged out of the way just in time to get clipped across the arm. Any deeper, and she wouldn't have been able to use the entire limb for the fight. She drew her weapons to meet the other men who chose hand-to-hand combat. For the rest of the time, she made absolutely sure to keep what she was fighting between her and the ranged fighters. That had hurt.

After that initial round was shot, Selene concentrated for a moment, then ducked out of the carriage to reveal her manic, grinning face for the instant it took for her to aim and fire a roiling mass of flames at the center of the gunman. It was one of her most powerful spells, and had quite the radius. That done, she hid again and began to prepare another spell.

The fireball hit one of the gunmen squarely in the chest, burning half his clothes and a quarter of his skin right off. He stood shocked and half-dead for a moment, then a silvery tattoo on his scorched chest began to glow through the charred skin, and he vanished with a fizzle. The other clansmen were affected less, although two of them had somewhat severe burns. Did not stop them from taking aim at the drow arcanist though. Fortunately for Selene, that was when her summoned hellhounds appeared and took the brunt of the fire. The hounds then launched into battle with two of the claymore-wielding highlanders. The joy on the men's faces showed that they viewed the summons more as a challenge than a threat, though.

The other three swordsmen engaged Ashyr and Caleldir in battle, although Caleldir stepped back from the fight long enough to apply a healing spell to Ashyr's arm... and promptly got a bullet in his stomach. He fell back coughing blood and attempting to heal himself. Clearly not viewing the too-handsome elf as a threat, the three highlanders attempted to slash their way past Ashyr to get to who they viewed as the most dangerous: Selene.

Of course, Althaia would have been the most dangerous if their leader was not already in a furious battle with her. Althaia did an admirable job of dodging the giantess's blows, which was good, because she shattered boulders with every swing. The nymph leapt and danced, twirled and ducked, but the vampiress's blade was getting closer and Althaia could not herself get in a good punch. Realizing that she had to act fast, Althaia ducked in under the next blow, and launched a series of punches too fast to be seen - even with the white aura of holy smiting around them - right into the giantess's stomach. The huge woman stumbled back with a strangled cry of pain. Her leather vest had been shredded over her stomach, and the skin underneath was bruised and charred, smoking and sizzling. But the expression of pain was quickly replaced by one of mad exultation. "Heh. Excellent. I had feared that this struggle would be too effortless. I was gloriously wrong. You have earned my name, paladin. I am Deardriu Eidhighean, once the Disinherited Princess of Clachleom and now the Bandit Queen of the Kulguan. I would know your name."

"Althaia, vampire. I am Althaia the Nymph Paladin." Althaia the Nymph Paladin replied.

Deardriu bowed, sweeping off her feathered bonnet. "I honor your valor, Dame Althaia." She replaced her headpiece, and hefted her sword. "May it serve you well in your next life!" With that, red dragon wings burst out of her back, and fire surrounded her. She flew towards the nymph with terrifying speed, and gored the paladin right through the stomach. Althaia looked stricken, stumbling back, blood drenching her. The half-dragon had her pistol in her hand faster than thought, pressing the end of the barrel to Althaia's heart, and pumped four bullets into the nymph's chest. Ripping the sword back out and letting it fall to the side with a thud, she grabbed Althaia in one of her massive hands, and hurled her body away like a cloth doll. The nymph's broken corpse flew out of sight.

Ashyr fell back a couple steps when she saw the limp body of Althaia get thrown away by the huge woman and leader of the clan. The grin on the drow ranger's face grew absolutely crazed as laughter began to bubble from her throat. Her earlier assessment that this fight was going to be simple was clearly and completely wrong, and that realization was wonderful. She didn't seem to care much that her companion was apparently dead, and it was dangerous to care for Caleldir's sake. No, now was not the time for goodness and compassion. Now was the time to embrace the fight and revel in the life-and-death struggle.

Ashyr ducked and weaved for a second to cast a quick spell on herself. Then it seemed as if her whole body lengthened to greater elegance, her movements laced with beautiful dexterity. She was quicker, harder to hit, while her attacks struck more true than ever before. Then she doubled the aggression of her attack, completely determined to hold her ground. While the highlanders were undoubtedly tough fighters, they did not have the centuries of experience that Ashyr did, and once she enchanted herself to greater heights of valor, she was easily able to fight the three of them back. Like the first to fall though, once one of the clansmen received a debilitating wound, that man had a tattoo on his chest begin to glow, and he vanished with a fizzle.

The hellhounds managed to take out one of the remaining fighters and one of the gunners before being shot to oblivion, leaving the highlanders with only four men. Three, once Caleldir managed to pound one with magic missiles to the extent that he fizzled out as well.

Caleldir finished fixing up his multiple bullet wounds in time to see Althaia, apparently dead. He was concerned, but less worried than the other two. He knew for a fact that the nymph was still alive, given his unique senses on the matter. Of course, there was no doubt that she was practically dead, but she should be more or less fine for the moment. Probably. Of more immediate concern was that the seemingly invincible Deardriu was coming this way. He hesitated. The half-dragon was clearly out for blood: literally, judging by the way she was licking Althaia's gore off her sword. Perhaps he should pull out the stops on this one...

"Well, shit." Selene said, looking over at Althaia's 'corpse'. That had been a sure line of defense that was thrown away like so much garbage. Thankfully, her hellhounds attracted most of the fire. But there was the little issue of the huge lady no longer being distracted by Althaia. Caleldir wouldn't be able to stop her for long, bleeding the way he was. Would he be able to ghost in time to stop the bandit leader from hurting Ashyr? Selene wasn't about to bet on that. There was only one clear solution in the younger drow's mind.

And it was probably going to suck.

A cloud of unnatural darkness surrounded the carriage, something both drow could do easily without wasting any spell power. Under it's cover, Selene ducked out the the vehicle and, staying as low as she could, ran around behind the carriage to put it in between her and the gunmen. A scream tore through the unseen spot that deepened and grew into a landslide crescendo. Then the darkness seemed to grow until two massive wings sprouted from either side of the inky bubble. The wings flapped once, twice, to lift a huge body made out a dark gemstones that caught the light and reflected a million colors. A larger than normal gargoyle with terrible features made of beautiful material revealed itself, resistant to all but adamantine and at least as big as the leader of the bandit group. Its face was a mask of pain and anger as it landed with an earthquake thud between Ashyr and Deardriu.

Caleldir groped around until he got his bearings, and then rolled out of the spell. And right into one of the highlanders, but Caleldir stabbed him through the chest, causing the fellow to fizzle out. The last two highlanders had vanished as well, although Caleldir could not see who had done them in. Probably the Yuan-ti. For all practical purposes, the only foe facing the group now was the giantess.

The ranger seemed able to navigate the darkness a little better - mostly because this wasn't the first time she'd be caught in magical darkness. It wasn't even the hundredth time. She located Caleldir and helped pull him to his feet. Ashyr still moved with that unnatural grace that her spell had given her. Then her gaze swept over towards the huge figure that landed between her and the bandit woman.

The giantess looked over the gargoyle, and smiled. "Admirable indeed. I had hoped that slaying the nymph would not end the interesting portion of this scrape. I will remember you, little mage." Stepping back for a moment, her eyes flashed an undetermined color. "So... adamantine only? Excellent." Leaping into the air, she hovered, wings lightly flapping. She coated the area around the gargoyle with fire, then began rapidly firing off her weapon, sending more than twenty shots into it in as many seconds. Then, runes up and down her oversized blade flashing once, she lunged down at the gargoyle with all her incalculable strength.

That landslide roar shook the earth as the first couple shots hit the hulking gargoyle form. It did little more than chip off a couple pieces of the extremely hard material it was made of. It moved with surprising speed for what it was to take flight after the other woman, angry, in pain, but unafraid. The gargoyle maneuvered just in time to keep the runed blade away from vital points in its body, but one wing still managed to get almost completely obliterated by the attack. It whipped around as she passed to try to wrap its legs, what was left of its wings, and one huge arm to try to grapple the giant woman and bring her down with its thousands upon thousands of pounds of weight. The one free fist began to try to knock all the weapons from the enemy's hand.

Ashyr would have run to help, but she could do nothing while they were in the air. She bared her teeth in frustration. "If you haven't caught on, Selene is in there." Ashyr informed Caleldir with a slightly panicky tone. Her finger pointed toward the at once hideous and beautiful gargoyle facing down the scary lady. "Um." Ashyr said, searching wildly about for some way that she could help Selene while she was still in the process of getting shot a couple dozen times. Then she shrugged and conjured an eagle that immediately began to dive at Deardriu's eyes. It couldn't possibly be more than just an annoyance... but it was something at least.