A Fag's New Year Resolution

**Disclaimer**

This piece was inspired by one of my loyal readers and his deepest desires.

Please understand, "Fag" is used here not as a derogatory term. It is meant more as a role in this scenario. Please understand, no offense was meant in the writing of this story. Please Enjoy

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He made the decision. It was a new year. It was time to let go of the past. It was time to embrace the future. He would make this year his year. Starting January first, Rick would live his life as a gay man.

Well, not just any gay man. Rick had pretty much crossed the point of normal just gay man a long time ago. No, his desires ran a bit more depraved than just liking dick.

Rick had binged on gay porn for years. From that exposure, his desire for dick turned from just dick to wanting it to be a lot raunchier. He wanted to be dirtier. He wanted to be a fag.

What was the difference? To Rick, the difference was simple: a gay man is an equal in his relationship with his partner. A fag, well a fag, was to be humiliated and was the lowest degraded bottom Rick could imagine. Yes, to Rick, being a fag was both a turn on and humiliating.

Unfortunately for Rick, it wasn't that easy. See, his experiences with men were limited. He liked nude beaches, and he may have touched dicks with another guy at an event, but he never actually got to do anything more than that. He wanted to do more but, in the past was just too afraid.

Sure, while he was with women, pretending to be straight, he took it up the ass with a plastic dildo. He even sucked on a few straps-ons. Nothing was like the real thing though. The women told him that. He believed it.

So, this year, this year was Rick's year. This year Rick would challenge himself to be the faggiest fag of all who ever fagged. Yeah. That was what he was going to do. Now, how to start?

Munches! Rick had frequented his local munch tons of times. Sure, he could start there. That was the best place to start. It was a great safe place to start talking about his fag desires.

Rick took to the internet; the real start of his journey toward fag-ness. He pulled up the forum for his local munch. He started a new thread and stared at the blinking cursor. His heart pounded in time with the blinks.

Could he do this? Could he really come out as gay? Could he really admit to the internet, which was essentially the world, that he was not just gay but a bottom fag?

The question sent a chill down his spine. It was all he needed. He took a deep breath, and his fingers danced over the keyboard. He put it out into the world. He spelled it out.

"This is the first place I am admitting it. You can ask me at the munch so that I can admit it out loud, but here, here I am admitting that I am a fag." He wrote, and his cock twitched. "I have known this for a long time, but it's really hard to put into words how I feel. I am not just gay; I am a fag. I am a bottom which needs to be humiliated and dominated by a strong man." Rick gulped as the words flowed from his fingers. "I need a dominant man in my life to take me on my submissive fag journey." At full mast, his cock bobbed between his spread legs while he continued the post. "I know the right man won't be easy to find, but I had to put it out there. I am a fag. Thank you for reading."

Rick took hold of the root of his swollen member and stared at his words. The cursor blinked, taunting him. He took a deep breath, and his hand slid up toward the mushroomed end of his dick. He moaned as he spread his pre-cum over the head. He had to click the post button. He had to cement his fate.

Rick pinched at the bulbous end. He teased himself both physically and mentally as he stared at the post button. Could he do it? Could he really out himself to a bunch of strangers? Well, not all of them were strangers. He had made a few friends.

Rick's hand slid in his pre-cum as he pumped his five and a half inch erection. He curled his toes. His other hand hovered over the mouse. Which was awkward caused Rick was right-handed.

"Yes." He whispered to himself. He clicked post and vigorously pumped his cock. He gritted his teeth. It was out there. He was exposed. Sure, he had been the one to expose himself but damn, it was in the world now. He couldn't take it back.

"I'm a fag!" Rick announced as his balls tightened. "I'm a fag!" He repeated breathlessly as his cock spurted cum on his belly and chest. Some splattered on his desk, just shy of his keyboard.

It was a good three weeks before the munch actually met. Rick had to fill that time. He needed to keep himself in his fag headspace. How would he do that?

He plugged himself daily with a metal Njoy. He decided to increase the length of time he wore it. He scoured the internet for the highest rated dildo and vibrating plug. Those had to be a fag's best friend, right?

When the items arrived, Rick took to daily plugings with the Njoy during daylight hours, and before bed, he used the thick dildo on himself. He either mounted it and rode it, with it suction cupped to a chair, or he laid on his back with his legs in the air and really plowed into his hole.

As thrilling as it was, it wasn't like getting fucked by a man. Rick returned to the internet. Aside from a few comments of congratulations and support, there wasn't much there. He got an email from an ex-girlfriend who offered to let him ride her strap-on. The idea made him frown. He wanted the real thing.

Rick couldn't help but be disappointed. He was a fag. He wanted to do fag things. It was hard to do fag things without someone to guide him and teach him. All he had were porn videos, really good stories on the internet, and his own mind to drive him there.

Two days before the munch, he got the idea. He opened another thread in his munch forum. They had been pretty responsive; maybe he could get them to be a bit more active in his descent into depravity.

"At our next munch, I will be wearing a remote vibrating plug." He began and felt his cock stirring at the idea. It was one thing to think it; it was another to put it out into the world. "I will have the remote in my pocket." He continued and the angst he felt before when he outed himself returned. It was more erotic this time. The anticipation that someone might take him up on the offer had him swelling. He shifted in his seat with the Njoy firmly filling his ass. "If you are so inclined, please ask for it. I will hand it over to you to set the vibration speed higher or lower. I will be at the mercy of your discretion." As he wrote he bit his lip and humped at the air. His cock bobbed at the idea of someone controlling his ass. "I won't ask anyone to do this, but if you want to, know that I am open to it. All that I ask is that once you set the remote, please hand it back to me so that someone else can have a turn. You can come back later if you want."

Once again, Rick stared at the screen at his post. Could he send that? Could he commit to that? He was going far deep down the rabbit hole quickly. He stroked himself lazily thinking of someone with the remote.

Rick closed his eyes and threw his head back. The idea that someone, anyone, would be able to do something to him and he wouldn't be in control; made his prick throb needily in his hand. His pulse increased. His breathed short, shallow breaths. His hand slid up and down on his cock. He squeezed and tightened his ass muscles. The Njoy sunk deeper into him and he moaned.

His eyes snapped open. He wouldn't cum until after the munch. He didn't include that in the post. No, that would be too creepy. No. He kept that to himself.

Rick's gaze drifted down to his hand. It lingered on the swollen, rounded, tip of his cock. His thumb spread the oozing pre-cum around. He moaned again. He needed to stop touching himself if this was going to happen.

He hit send. He sealed his fate a second time that month. Could he handle the pressure he had placed on himself? Could this really happen? The anticipation had his hand on his cock again.

He stopped himself. He needed not to get his hopes up. There was a chance that the people of his munch were not interested in his kinky escapades. They could think him awkward and weird for that post.

Rick's heart sunk. Maybe he had just blackballed himself as the weird gay guy of the group. Maybe he had ruined relationships he hadn't even known he had yet. Rick's mind swirled with the possibilities. Maybe he shouldn't even go to the munch.

He went. Two days later, the vibrating plug deep in his ass; Rick showed up at the munch. He smiled at the young girl and paid his dues at the door. She smiled back, and he wondered if she knew. Had she read the post?

Rick didn't know her name on the forums. He didn't know her real name either, he realized at that moment. How antisocial of him. "I'm Rick." He introduced herself.

"I know." She responded with a wink. "You're the fag right?"

Rick's cheeks flushed. "Yes." He bowed his head and dashed into the room. She knew. She knew him. She knew him from the forum. Rick's heart beat ticked up again. The excitement was almost unbearable.

Rick's thumb traced over the remote. Maybe he needed to get the ball rolling. He was horny after all.

Someone tapped his shoulder. "Rick?" a woman's voice.

Rick turned and looked down at a plump woman about three inches shorter than him. "Hello." He said pulling his hand from his pocket sheepishly.

"I'd like the remote." She said with a wicked grin.

Rick blinked at her at first. The what? She wanted. Oh! The realization dawned on him, and he pulled his hand from his pocket holding the remote.

"I know you probably want a guy doing this and all, but I think it took a lot of guts to post what you did." She said as she slid the remote from his hand.

Rick was caught up in how surreal this was. He gaped at her. Was she really doing this? He didn't know her name either. Rick apparently, was the social butterfly he thought he was "Oooh." Rick groaned when she pressed the button and the plug game to life in his ass.

She smiled. "There." She handed the remote back to him. "Just a little annoyance to get the game started." She winked and turned on her heel.

"Th-thank you." He stammered as she left.

Rick stood, the rest of his bottom feeling numb as the vibration in his butt took over his mind. His dick twitched against his thigh. He had been steadily teasing himself for two days. He had worked over his asshole nice and deep the night before. He was primed for this game.

The setting was the lowest one on the vibrator. After the initial shock of someone actually doing what Rick asked, it was easy to ignore. Rick took his seat and chatting socially with the people at the table with him.

A young guy with a goatee stared at him. Rick noticed him when someone else was speaking. The young guy didn't say anything. He just smirked at Rick and extended his hand.

Rick gulped and looked around. No one else seemed to be paying attention. This was what Rick wanted. He wanted a man to do this to him. He pulled the remote from his pocket and handed it to the young guy.

The young man looked down as if studying the remote. There were two different buttons. One was for intensity. The other was for intervals. At that moment, it was a steady hum.

The fact that the young man held the remote only drew Rick's attention to his filled ass again. It reminded him that it vibrated with him. Rick bit his lip to stifle the groan as the young man turned the vibration all the way up.

The man studied Rick as he squirmed. The man smiled and handed the remote back. Rick's head fogged. There was no way he could handle that intensity for long. It was like a lightning bolt shot straight to Rick's dick.

His erection bulged in his pants. It pressed against his thigh. Rich reached down to shift himself. The temperature in the room seemed to rise as he sat there with a vibrating ass.

Rick squirmed in his seat while the presenter talked about electrodes and violet wands. Rick couldn't pay attention. The woman next to him tapped his shoulder.

Rick's attention or as much of it as he could muster went toward the woman.

She smiled "Remote please." She said.

Again, Rick's heart skipped a beat. The response to his post was more than he could possibly have imagined. He expected like maybe one or two people to take him up on it. He was already up to three!

Eagerly, Rick slipped the remote to her discreetly. He didn't want to disrespect the presented. The vibration in his ass stopped. Rick pouted. He missed it immediately.

"That was distracting." The woman said and handed it back to him.

Rick blushed and lowered his head. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't be. I get it." She whispered and then pointed to the presenter. "I just really want to know about this."

When the presentation progressed from the presenter listed his credentials, past the safety seminar, and was in full demo mode, Rick felt another tap on his shoulder. To his delight, it was the young goatee guy again. Rick smiled and couldn't get the remote to him fast enough.

"Keep it," Rick whispered. Rick was horny. Rick was desperate. Rick wanted this man to have control of his asshole. He felt faggy knowing it was a guy who had his remote.

The goatee guy just smirked and pressed the pulse button.

Rick's body went rigid. His cock had deflated slightly until that moment. The vibration was at a medium setting, but the intervals in which is pulsed were sporadic. Rick couldn't immediately detect the pattern.

Any hope of Rick learning about playing with electricity was gone the moment the goatee guy had the remote the second time. Rick's eyes drifted closed, and he hummed along with the vibration.

Snap. Snap. Rick opened his eyes. Goatee guy pointed toward the presented. Rick nodded and blushed. He turned back to attempt to pay attention.

Rick squirmed harder and more obvious as the goatee guy explored all the buttons. He didn't linger on any particular setting for more than a minute or two. Rick's balls were painfully tight. His cock strained in his jeans. It was all he could do not to moan in the middle of the munch.

The periods of rest were about five minutes before goatee guy started again. Rick's cock would shrink to half-mast and then balloon to full erection in seconds each time goatee guy turned it off and back on again. Rick was dizzy at the end of the munch; dizzy and more desperate than he had ever been in his life.

Rick stumbled about helping clean up after the presentation had concluded. If tested, Rick wouldn't be able to say a damn thing the man had told the group about electro-play. Rick turned after stacking a chair to find goatee guy holding the remote.

"Thank you." He said in a gruff voice.

Rick hid a shudder as he took the remote back. The vibration turned off. "No. Thank you."

Goatee guy stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You're welcome." He turned and walked away.

Rick stood holding his remote. His ass was filled. His cock strained against his jeans. The only man to play with him hadn't even touched him. Rick didn't even know his name. It didn't matter. Rick knew at that moment, his descent into fag-hood was what he wanted. All doubt about it vanished.

The only thing pressing on his mind was getting home and jerking off. He needed a release. He had a muse. He had a face to go with all his submissive fantasies. He had a goatee guy to think about while he fucked himself with his dildo and that was all Rick needed at that moment.