A Family Christmas Ch. 03

We returned to the house, Aunt Julia going through to the guest flat whilst I went into the kitchen to make some coffee, I could hear Mum moving about upstairs in one of the front bedrooms.

Noise is deceptive and the perception of a sound is very much dependent upon the listener's location and what the brain is accustomed to hearing. The bang when it came sounded to me more like something from an army assault course, the thud of a distant thunder-flash grenade explosion followed by a brief rattle of small arms fire. Afterwards I realised that it was the car striking the tree sideways on and the impact of scattered gravel hitting the garden fence. It did not even register with me at that moment in time that the noise originated from our driveway.

Suddenly my mother was running down the stairs shouting..... "JAMIE! JAMIE! Come here....NOW!" I dashed into the hall as she threw the front door wide and ran out into the drive..... I did not know what had happened but I was only a few strides behind her. My guts were churning and I knew instinctively that something bad had happened and I knew that it had happened to Cora.

The next few minutes were like a dream sequence, a nightmare, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion so that each detail was imprinted on my memory with a stark clarity. Cora's red mini was just inside the garden gateway but was slewed at an odd angle and was hard up against the trunk of a silver birch tree which grew just inside the drive by the gate post. My brain registered that the roof of the car was covered with dead leaves and twigs from the tree and the bonnet was sprung open. Mother was already by the driver's door which was open and was leaning into the car.... I knew that Cora was in the driving seat but her face was obscured by my mother's body and her long dark hair. Her lower body was beneath a huge white bulge...... the deflated air bag. For several seconds everything seemed to be totally silent as though I had suddenly been struck deaf, I guess it was the shock....then it registered that the car horn was sounding, not an ear shattering wail but more of a strangled croak which gradually dwindled to a faint rasping.

I heard Aunt Julia skid to a stop on the shingle behind me. She didn't ask stupid questions... she was already on her mobile telephone connected to the emergency services and demanding the attendance of an ambulance and giving a clear and precise description of the scene and her estimate of what had occurred.

I joined Mum by the car and felt my heart leap into my mouth at the sight of my sister slumped in her seat belt...she had blood on her face from a large cut on her temple and her left arm was at an unusual angle which could only mean that it was either broken or dislocated. I reached past Mother and brushed the hair from over Cora's face.... Her eyes were closed and I could not see her breathing. I have never been so frightened in my entire life.

Mum was in command of the situation, she tugged the car keys from the ignition and dropped them onto the ground. "We can't move her..." she stated, "we must wait for the paramedics....Give me your coat...." I shrugged off my jacket and Mum placed in gently over Cora, she was in shock and needed to be kept warm.

"Is she.... Is she OK...I mean... Oh fuck.... She's not.....?"

Cora made a tiny moan. She was alive at least. Mum was talking to her just re-assuring her and trying to keep her awake and conscious... I guess that even though Cora was her daughter the military training and efficiency had kicked in on auto-pilot. "Jamie... check around the car... make sure that there is no petrol leaking anywhere..."

"I will do that..." Aunt Julia said calmly from behind me.... "The ambulance is on it's way... it should be here in only be a few minutes...." I remembered that there was an ambulance park-up spot only a couple of streets away on the London Road and hoped that it was not already out on a call.

I felt totally useless but there was nothing I could do. I knelt beside Mum with one arm around her waist and gently stroked Cora's arm and just repeated over and over... "I'm here Sis.... I'm with you... I love you Cora..." She looked terrible, her face was pale, made more so by her halo of dark hair and she had two swollen and bruised eyes, I remember thinking that she was going to look like a bloody panda in the morning.

Almost immediately I heard the warbling of a siren getting closer and then the street was bathed in flashing blue lights as a police car drew up in the road outside to be followed in seconds by the slower strobe lights of the ambulance. The garden was suddenly full of people in yellow reflective jackets and Aunt Julia was drawing me away so that they could get at the accident site and attend to Cora.

I don't really remember much that happened next except that I was suddenly standing watching the paramedics putting my sister into the ambulance wrapped in a pink NHS waffle blanket. They had fitted a large blue plastic head and neck support collar which looked really frightening. Mother was already sitting in the ambulance and I rushed to the rear doors before they closed them.

"No, Jamie darling...." Mum said. "I'll go with Cora, you follow on in Julia's car...... Just lock up and meet us at the Accident and Emergency reception at the Wexham Park Hospital, that is where they are taking her...." She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead and then one of the paramedics was guiding me away from the rear of the ambulance to where Aunt Julia was waiting.

I don't think that I really recovered from the initial shock until the ambulance was screaming off towards the main road. My aunt was talking to the two police constables and I caught snatches of the conversation but was not really paying attention. I felt shaky and I could feel tears running down my cheeks.... I wiped them away with my sleeve.

"Do you know if the driver had been drinking?" One of the policemen was asking. I guess that was a routine question at a road traffic accident.

"Absolutely not!" My aunt asserted. There were some other mumbled questions and I heard her saying "The family need some space now.... No other vehicle was involved so I think any statements can wait until tomorrow..." She handed the older of the two coppers her business card.

"Yes, of course, Ma'am... Your Honour..." He was obviously impressed by her being a High Court Judge..."Er, would you like us to wait and give you an escort to the hospital, Ma'am?" I guess that she declined as they got back into their patrol car and drove away.

Mother had said to lock up and so I started with Cora's car. There didn't seem to be too much visible damage apart from the deep dent in the off-side door. I banged the bonnet back down, then reached in and released the hand brake and pushed the car into the drive so that it was not blocking the public foot path. Her handbag and two cartons of Benson and Hedges were on the floor in front of the passenger seat and my navy blue canvas Harrington jacket was draped over the steering wheel, so I picked them up....found the keys where Mother had dropped them and locked up the mini.

I was worried sick, but I was also angry with my sister.... I knew exactly what had happened. She had been driving too fucking fast again and had misjudged the turn into the drive and skidded on the gravel... perhaps now....

"James, are you done there....?" Aunt Julia called. "I will fetch my car and then when you have locked up the house we can go to the hospital..." She came over and put her arms around me and gave me a big hug. "Cora will be fine....." She said softly, her lips were close to my ear and her soft hair brushed across my face, she smelled really nice, "The ambulance girl said that she did not seem to be seriously injured.... So there is probably not too much to worry about...."

By the time that I had found my keys and Mum's handbag then locked up the house her sleek black Audi S6 Quattro was pulled up in front of the front door of the house. I was still clutching my jacket and the two cartons of cigarettes and so I tossed them onto the rear seat and got in beside her.

My mother was sitting in the A & E reception when Aunt Julia and I arrived talking to an older woman in a nurse's light blue scrubs. She stood up and we all hugged.

"How is she..... Where is she....can I see her....?" I blurted out immediately.

"Slow down darling..." she replied calmly. She cupped my face in both hands affectionately. "Firstly, she is not in any immediate danger...nor has she any serious injuries..... her arm is broken and she has scratches and bruises... the duty doctor has seen her and the main concern is that she is severely concussed.... They are sending her to a ward for observation overnight or until the neurologist has seen her..."

"A neurologist....does that mean brain damage...?" That was really fucking frightening.

"No, not necessarily.... Although she may have a serious headache for a few days and might not be able to remember the accident..!"

"When can I see her?"

"You should all be able to visit her for a short time when she is moved up to the Neurology Ward...." The nurse who had been talking to Mother interrupted. "I would suggest that one of you stay here until they move her shortly. We get very busy in A & E so the others may be more comfortable in the visitor café." She was gently asking us to get out from under foot.

Obviously Mother was the one who needed to stay. I was a bit reluctant to leave but eventually Aunt Julia took my arm and led me towards the exit.

"I could do with a breath of fresh air..."She told me, "Why don't we go and sit in the car for a while and have a cigarette, then we can go and find this café and get some coffee and something to eat."

It was nearly two hours before Mum came to find us and took us back to the ward to visit Cora. The Neurosurgeon was just finishing his examination as we got there. The consultant, Mr. Simon Goldblum was a big guy of about 40 with the look of an ex rugby player, he was about 6' 2" and almost as broad as he was long, very handsome with short black curly hair slightly greying at the temples, dark brown eyes and a winning smile. "The good news is...." He smiled at Mother, "I do not think that your daughter has sustained any serious damage, there does not appear to be any internal bleeding around the brain. The bad news is..." He added, "I really need to keep her in for observation for at least a couple of days....and do a couple of scans... and so your holiday plans may need to be changed.....sorry...I definitely will not be able to allow her to fly until Wednesday at the earliest."

Cora looked a mess. Her face was badly bruised and her arm as in a cast, she was awake but sedated and pretty groggy and was more concerned that she had ruined everybody's holiday than anything. It was already getting close to the end of visitor's time and so Aunt Julia said that she would wait for us in the car, kissed Cora and left. Mum and I sat either side of her bed holding her hands until the last minute before making our way down to the car park. It was only when we were in the lift and leaving the building that Mum started to cry softly for the first time. I pulled her into a corner of the corridor and wrapped her in my arms and held her close. I felt like weeping too, but I guess that it was my turn to be strong for her. I really could not remember seeing my mother cry like that before, I guess that she was as frightened as I was.

"I think that we need to find somewhere to get something to eat," Aunt Julia suggested as we left the hospital car park, "Your poor mother hasn't had a bite to eat all day..." She and I at least had managed to get coffees and a rather mangy sandwich at the hospital café before it closed but she was right, Mother had not had any food since breakfast.

She was right that we were probably all hungry, but none of us really felt like eating and certainly none of us felt like cooking when we got home. It was Boxing Day evening, very few restaurants would be open and those pubs which elected to open would probably not be serving hot food, but there was one place that would be open as usual, a Harvester Inn. The nearest outlet was the Montagu Arms, on the London Road just outside Slough and on our route back to Windsor.

We sat in the restaurant in depressed silence hardly touching our rather unappetising looking steak and French Fries meal; none of us had managed to eat more than half of the serving but each of us had consumed two large cups of coffee, I guess we needed the caffeine more than the food, I think that the waitress was surprised when we ordered another three cups.

"We need to decide about the holiday..." Mother said eventually, "Cora is insisting that we should all go without her...."

"NO WAY" I exploded, "If Cora can't go then I am not going...." It sounded petulant but I meant it.

"Of course we couldn't do that..., I would not even consider it..." Mother affirmed.

"If you need to cancel the booking the cost should be covered by your travel insurance, Gill," Aunt Julia stated, ever the professional lawyer. It wasn't the money I knew that Mum didn't care about that.

"We may not need to..." Mum suggested, "Maybe we can still have at least part of the holiday together..."

"How? We can't leave Cora here on her own when she gets out of hospital...."

"Well... the consultant Mr. Goldblum, said that she should be OK to fly in a couple of days," Mum speculated, "I think that you and Auntie Julia should take the flight tomorrow evening with the luggage... I will stay here with Cora and then we can get another flight on Wednesday and join you."

"I don't know... I'm not sure that I should leave Cora..." I put in.

"At least this way we would all get some holiday and Cora is going to need a vacation when she comes out of hospital...."

"Will you be able to get the flights changed?" Aunt Julia asked.

"That should be the least of the problems..." Mother replied, "Two one way tickets to Innsbruck are usually obtainable on stand-by and if necessary we can always fly to Munich and then hire a car...you will have taken the luggage and so Cora and I will be travelling light."

"Yeah, we've done that route before.." I chipped in. I wasn't completely sold on the idea but I was warming to it. Cora was going to be feeling like shit already and if we had to cancel the holiday completely it would make her feel even worse, especially as we would be back at school in a couple of weeks and wouldn't be able to get away again until Easter. Besides, Mother's schemes usually worked out well.... We all had faith in her being the world's best organiser.

"What do you think, Auntie Julia?" I decided to pass the buck.

"I think it is a plan..." she said after a pause. "As long as you don't mind putting up with me alone for a couple of days, James?"

"It is going to be more a case of you putting up with his moods and sulkiness," Mum teased with a smile, "He can be a real little prick sometimes without his sister to keep him in check."

"If I agree," I said seriously, "I can spend the day at the hospital with Cora tomorrow...can't I?"

"We both will," Mum assured me.

I think that we were all emotionally exhausted when we got home but never-the-less we sat around the kitchen table with coffees and brandy until well after midnight debating the pros and cons of Mother's idea for Aunt Julia and me flying out to Austria the next evening and Cora and her joining us on Wednesday. In the end we decided to go with the plan, I think I finally agreed because I knew it was the kind of impromptu scheme that would appeal to Cora herself and that she would feel better knowing that she had not completely screwed up our holiday.

Mother and I were both up around six the next morning and stripped the luggage out of the Volvo. We had decided that as Cora was going to be unable to ski anyway, we would not take our skis or other kit and would hire any equipment that we needed at the resort. It would reduce the luggage that Aunt Julia and I needed to take on the flight as Mum had repacked one large travel bag to contain clothing for both Cora and herself which left us with just two large bags, a suitcase and two cabin bags. We repacked the stuff that we would need that day into Aunt Julia's Audi and put Mother and Cora's bags back in the Volvo so that Mum wouldn't be hauling them around in the Landrover for the next couple of days.

I cooked us all a good breakfast whilst Mother spent half an hour on the telephone to the Lufthansa and British Airways desks at Heathrow Airport sorting out the changes in the flights and luggage arrangements. She finally came out of her office and announced that she had managed to change the seating for Aunt Julia and myself and had obtained two open tickets for her and Cora valid from Wednesday until the end of the month.

After breakfast the three of us went outside and managed to push Cora's car into the garage. I had decided to risk turning the key in the ignition but the engine was dead and I guessed that the prang had knocked out the electrics. Mother and I wanted to get back to the hospital for ten o'clock to try and catch the surgeon after his morning rounds and intended spending all day there. Mum had arranged for Cora to be moved into a private room that morning and so we would have free access to visit most of the day.

Aunt Julia was going to spend the day at our house until it was time to pick me up in the afternoon to go to the airport. She had got Cora's insurance details from Mum and was intending to arrange for the claims assessors to come to view the car when we returned from holiday. The police were also returning to get a statement and she had volunteered to deal with them as well. I knew that the crash had been totally my sister's fault but I was glad that I was not going to be there, I could understand where the police would be coming from.... Teenage girl.... Drink.... Drugs.... I guess that the scenario was one that they had to look at.... But I would have just got protective and lost my temper. In the end nobody else had been hurt and the only property damaged had been our own.

Despite hanging around in hospitals being one of the most boring occupations in the world it still seemed to be far too soon when my mobile buzzed in my pocket and Aunt Julia told me that she was on her way to the hospital to collect me. Mother and I had taken turns sitting with Cora all day, each of us taking a break to go to the café for coffee when she was asleep or take a walk around the grounds to have a cigarette or get some fresh air.

Cora seemed a lot better by late morning. I guess that the pain killers she had been given had worn off a bit and she was lucid and looked a lot more like her normal self, except for the panda eyes of course. She had almost totally lost all recollection of the crash....

"I just don't remember, Jim..." she told me, "I vaguely recall turning into our road.... And then....nothing...."

"It is all right, my pet.... That is perfectly normal..." Mother had assured her, "Not being able to remember the last few minutes of the accident is very common when you have had a bang on the head..."

Never-the-less Cora was very upset and blamed herself, "It's all my fault..." she murmured woefully, "Because of me everybody's holiday has been fucked up.... I'm so-o-o-o sorry...!"

On a logical level I had to agree with her, the accident had happened because of her own carelessness and stupidity but telling her so or allowing her to castigate herself was going to change nothing and certainly not make her feel any better. Mother had brought us up to despise 'blame culture', it is far better just to learn from your mistakes and move on....failing to learn from your mistakes in the real sin.