A Guy and His...? Ch. 52: War Pt. 02

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A Man, Genies, war!
2.7k words
4.71
23.6k
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Part 52 of the 69 part series

Updated 06/08/2023
Created 05/07/2017
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Pars001
Pars001
2,202 Followers

Jake had been watching as all the sneak attacks he'd planned had started to reduce the numbers of Qistina's army. Then they had all vanished appearing not far outside of the palace. Then to his amazement she lost far more than he'd planned. Out of the over ten thousand she'd started she only had about five thousand left.

Shaking his head Jake knew they had a better chance but, with that many, she still had numbers on her side. He'd hoped that the collapsing ground trick would have taken more. Well at least she was down to half, now they wouldn't die as quickly.

Shaking his head as he watched as Qistina was screaming out orders. Jake was wracking his brains for another trick that would even things up. A sudden idea hit him as he rushed to the council and the royal family to see if it was even possible. With the army as close as it was it wouldn't be long now before a full on battle ensued.

After the council and the royal family assured him it was, Jake instructed each of them what he needed, he just hoped that this would even things out more. The palace army was damn good; Jake just doubted they each could defeat a hundred evil Jinns against each of them at the same time.

Qistina was going back and forth of her lines of Jinns. With this many there was no way that she could lose! The palace was as good as theirs. She would so enjoy the sounds of the ever last master screaming as she tortured him over and over. It made her tremble the more she thought of it!

A sudden commotion near the front of the palace gates drew her attention. What in the hell was going on? Looking out she saw that the ever last master was walking out of the gates alone!? A wicked smile came to her lips then she stopped short as she was about to rush up and kill him. Narrowing her eyes something wasn't right. This had to be a trap. Looking around she spotted Tankena, "Tankena! Go redeem yourself. Kill that insolent human!"

Tankena looked out to see Jake, then he looked at his ex-leader. "No!" He quietly said.

Qistina's eyes narrowed, "Did you just tell me no? I said kill him, NOW!"

Tankena Shook his head as he took hold of the slave bracelet around his wrist. Grunting he breathed a sigh of relief when it snapped off. "I said NO!" Tankena shouted this time as he snapped the other bracelet off. "I am free of you. You may kill me but I will die battling you not bowing to your worthless feet!" Swinging his arm at Qistina she gasped as the blast caught her by surprise knocking her flat on her ass.

Springing back up her mouth dropped open as she saw that Tankena had vanished! "I will kill you Takena!"

[Good luck with that you back stabbing bitch! You aren't even worth the effort to fight let alone bed! What the king ever saw in you is beyond me. As was the fact that I followed you, oh! That's right you had to enslave me. Good bye bitch! Die well!] Came Tankena's thoughts followed by an almost insane laugh.

Jake watched with great interest as he felt almost half of the ex-queen's power drop. Man was she ever pissed off! Smiling Jake thought this was just getting better and better! Turning her hot gaze upon Jake she ordered several hundred of her Jinn soldiers to attack and kill him. Damn Jake thought I hope this really works!

As they approached Jake saw that they had no idea what they were walking into. About twenty feet from Jake all of them started to pop as if they were a balloon. Smiling Jake nodded it had been as he thought. "Gee you evil bitch!" Jake yelled across the distance. "Guess they don't make stick men like they used to!"

Jake felt his body lift off the ground as he was rushing toward Qistina's army. Cutting a path through the center of them forty feet wide, they hadn't even tried to get out of the way as they all burst as soon as Jake passed near. After reaching the back of the group, the army finally started to get out of the way as quickly as possible. Well Jake thought that was another thousand if they were lucky.

Turning suddenly Jake thought they might get another try when he heard the ex-queen scream. Shit! Jake thought he'd have more time! [Alright let's get back.] Jake thought as he started to fade then hit the sand. Damn it! He'd not moved fast enough!

"So the weak human thought he could defeat the all powerful leader!" Qistina shouted as she advanced upon Jake, "You are about to learn what real pain is..." Qistina had started. Jake was watching the whole time as she advanced then fell as if she'd run smack into a wall! Actually Jake thought as he laughed harder, she had!

Standing up she put her hand out trying to push in toward Jake. "You have no power, you are a pitiful human yet I can feel more layers of protection around you than I ever have. I can feel all four, no wait five? Six, ten, Jinns extending their power around you. I have never felt power like this. It is of no matter the dark magic is far too strong! Soon you will be another slave of mine to use before I decide it is time for you to die!"

Jake smiled then a worried look came over his features. "I suggest that you not do that. The last one who used the dark magic against this didn't fare too well. You see it can't do a thing against love."

"You dare to tell me what to do!? Love? There is no such thing! I will so enjoy your screams when the males use you over and over!" Qistina was almost screaming.

"Like I said you should know all before you do that. The last who used a spell of dark magic against all of those that are protecting me had the power turn against them." Jake warned the ex-queen.

"I don't need any warning from a weak pitiful ... thing like you. I have mastered the dark magic nothing can harm me though you on the other hand only have a short time before you die!" Qistina hissed at him.

"Huh and here I thought that you were far smarter than that. Oh well it's your funeral." Jake told her as she started to intensely chant.

It was about fifteen minutes later that a dark bolt of energy shot out of Qistina hitting about twenty feet from Jake then bouncing off and destroying a few hundred of her troops. "WHAT!? I just have to increase the power!" Qistina shouted at Jake.

"Really I think you should stop before you have no one left." Jake quietly told her.

"Shut up human! I know what I am doing!" Qistina snapped back at Jake as she started to chant even harder. Again a bolt of dark energy somewhat stronger bounced off something around Jake taking out a few hundred more of her troops!

Nuha flew up suddenly. "Leader stop, we are losing far too many troops!" Qistina waved a hand at Nuha knocking her out of the air. There was a sudden shouting as Abla and Fatin both attacked Qistina at the same time. Smirking she waved her hand again as both were flat on the sand having been almost punched out of the air.

"This isn't what you said we were going to do!" Nuha said as she and her sisters vanished.

"Come back you traitors! You owe me! I will kill all three of you for this betrayal!" Qistina shouted at the empty air.

[As your old second said. Good bye bitch! Die well!] Then there was a trio of laughs as two bracelets dropped on the sand in front of her.

"Fine!" Qistina shouted at the air. "After I kill and gut the human all four of you are next! You shall learn the price of betrayal to the leader!"

Turning back to Jake she was shocked to find him gone! Reaching out she felt no trace of him at all! Then she got a feeling of him behind her! Swinging that way she released a titanic amount of energy toward Jake.

Swallowing hard Jake watched helpless as the huge energy bolt rushed toward him. [I'm sorry that I failed; I don't think all of you can stop this. I love all of you my sweet Jinns.] Jake thought as he heard all of them cry out.

[Fear not father! All of you, all of our mothers put all you have into it, all your power, all your love.] Jake heard more than a few thoughts say as he felt an even larger amount of energy surround him.

Qistina was laughing nothing could survive the amount of energy she'd released, NOTHING! Her laugh could be heard across the sand as the bolt of energy bore down on Jake. [I believe in all of you. I believe in all the love we share. I know love cannot be defeated!] Jake thought back as the bolt hit in front of Jake then hesitated. Qistina laughed harder, "Nothing can stop it NOTHING!" Suddenly her laughs died off as she watched the huge bolt reverse direction! "NO! I will not be denied! NO! This is my time! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Was the last thing anyone heard as the huge bolt swept over Qistina and the rest of her army. Moments later the smoke and dust cleared. The sand was wiped clean of any trace of the ex-Queen and her army.

All of the Jinns came flooding out of the palace looking at the empty desert. Completely empty! Gen and the others began to frantically look for Jake. He was gone! That was impossible if he was gone they would be also!

Rushing back toward the palace Gen noticed, just for a second, a portal closing. Shaking her head she thought nothing of it. Al-Mazhab himself was at a loss as he was also looking for Jake.

Jake awoke with the worst headache he'd ever had. Hell this was as bad as that time ... It had just been on the tip of his brain. What in the hell was going on? A tall lanky man with sandy hair walked in a moment later.

"Damn Jake!" The man said when he saw that Jake was awake. "You scared me to death! Stretched out on my lawn like that!"

Jake looked at the man something about the man seemed so familiar. "Uh..." Jake started. "I don't mean to be rude but uh ... just who the hell are you?"

The tall man blinked then did a double take. "You really don't recognize me?" Jake shook his head no. "I'm Tom Sinclair. We used to work together. I have to say man I'm sorry I never jumped in to help you. I wanted to but I was afraid I'd end up near dead if I did. I have to help my mom so I can't get hurt."

"So you were my friend?" Jake asked as something tickled at the back of his mind.

"Kind of, you didn't seem to have many. I tried though you seemed to like your privacy. By the way what happened? Last I saw you were with this hot looking woman and..." Tommy stopped when he saw that Jake had grabbed his head looking to be in extreme pain. "Dude! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. I think we should get you to the hospital fast!"

Jake nodded as Tommy helped him out to his car. On the way to this hospital Jake tried to make sense of everything. His name was Jake that was for sure. Tommy was a friend who had found him on his lawn hurt and unconscious. Beyond that nothing was coming to him at all.

At the hospital they began to run a complete battery of tests on him. It was obvious that he had amnesia, though how or what type had all the Doctor's scratching their heads. Had it not been for Tommy, Jake wouldn't know anything. As far as he was concerned he had knowledge, knew he had to do everyday tasks but it was like his entire mind was wiped clean. Though the Doctors said there was no damage except for a small bump on the back of his head.

Through out the week Tommy came as often as he could. Other than him, though, no-one came to claim him at all. Many around the hospital began to feel sorry for the man no one seemed to know or want.

Finally the last day he was to stay there a call came up telling Jake that he had a visitor. Nodding Jake said to send them up. A few minutes later a rather portly woman with greying hair walked in. "Jake?" She said hesitantly. "Jake honey don't you recognize me?"

Jake looked at the woman and shook his head no. The woman nodded and seemed to say something to the air too low for Jake to understand. "Not to be rude mam," Jake started, "just who in the hell are you? How do you know me?"

The older woman's eyes blinked as she moved further into the room. "My god it is true, total amnesia you remember nothing?" The older woman asked.

"No, if it wasn't for Tom, I wouldn't even know who I am. I don't know where I live, my family, my job nothing!" Jake cried starting to feel the frustration that was welling up in him. "I don't even know if I even have a family!"

A half smile crossed the older woman's face as she nodded as if to someone talking to her. "Why my boy I am your family! You and I are all that's left! I'm your mother, son." The older woman said hesitantly. "I ... Lo ... love you ... s ... s ... son!" The woman said almost choking on the words as they left her lips. Jake was so surprised at the fact that someone was here that knew him, he completely missed what the woman had said.

An hour later the woman had signed for Jake as they were heading out of the hospital. Tommy passed him as they were coming out of the building. "Jake?" Tommy asked when he saw Jake waiting for someone. "What are you doing out here?"

Smiling Jake told him, "My mother is here to take me home with her."

"WHAT!? Since when? Jake your mother died years ago!" Tommy said as Jake grabbed his head a searing agonizing pain shot through it. With a groan Jake sunk to the pavement as several nurses ran to him asking what was going on. After explaining they took Jake back in.

"Damn it! Zahra what the hell happened?" Marie was shouting as she was driving up to the hospital front.

"It appears he has had a relapse. I am sensing he now knows that his real mother is dead and has been for years. I am still detecting no magic. No Jinns, there is nothing in his mind except for his name; his friends name and now the fact that his mother is dead." Zahra told Marie.

"Damn it! So damn close! We need to find another way to get him. He is the key to what has happened lately. It has to be something he has done. With the Jinn dimension closed we have no way on knowing!" Driving off a pair of eyes watched them depart.

Nyrae had been following Marie around as much as possible. Why had she been to the hospital and just who was the older man that had collapsed in front of the building as she was about to drive up. [Mother I am afraid that I cannot feel father either. Have you been able to contact Inger or her mistress?]

[I have searched for them both; Inger's mistress seems to be hidden from me. I am lost little one, without your father I am so lost.] Nyrae thought.

[I too am at a loss mother. I feel that something is about to happen that will either destroy or benefit both dimensions.] Nyrae's child thought to her.

[I hope so little one, oh I hope so!] Nyrae thought back.

Pars001
Pars001
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4 Comments
MarkT63MarkT63over 2 years ago

One too many head injuries for Jake!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Character Contradicting Itself...

You wrote: "Then to his amazement she lost far more than he'd planned. Out of the over ten thousand she'd started she only had about five thousand left.

Shaking his head Jake knew they had a better chance but, with that many, she still had numbers on her side. He'd hoped that the collapsing ground trick would have taken more. Well at least she was down to half, now they wouldn't die as quickly."

First, "...she lost far more than he'd planned."

Then, "He'd hoped that the collapsing ground trick would have taken more."

He'd planned for her to lose less AND he'd hoped more would have been taken?

That's a mental puzzle which can't be resolved.

If you ever re-write his tale, you need to also eliminate the redundant problem your characters have of not growing; they never seem to learn from catastrophe, or rebuke.

IE: Jake is constantly repeating himself about not raining down destruction on the Jinns when they can't answer a question, or make a mistake. It becomes trite and, obviously, repetitive.

The same for Jake; it nearly kills himself a half dozen, (five dozen, it seemed like), times by over-exerting himself. It's OK to have a character be stubborn, and exhaust themselves through self-sacrifice, but it can't be life threatening EVERY time, or it, too, becomes trite, and meaningless. It also makes the character look stupid, and be unrelateable by the reader; no sense of self-preservation.

For a story to resonate with readers, the reader must be able to see themselves, or be able to put themselves in a character's shoes. If the character doesn't act like a normal person; learning, changing, exhibiting self-preservation, being curious, explaining themselves to others, etc, they are not relateable, and the story suffers.

Fifty-two chapters in, my suggestion would be to do a re-write. Drop the single page chapters, (especially the chapter titles which don't end in numerals. Add the chapter 'title' at the beginning of the text. Ending the chapter title with words makes it impossible to simply change a number in the URL, which is the fastest way to move to the next chapter.), and work out the character conflicts and plot holes.

You do that, and this will become a superb work.

I've known a couple of published Sci-Fi writers in my life, in the days before eMail, when a letter to someone made a real connection, and created friendships. They just didn't get that many 'conversational' letters, instead of 'I want/could you' letters.

Because of those acquaintances, I've read pre-edited versions of published books. This reminds me of some of them.

Spoiler alert: published authors depend on their editors to fix the kind of stuff I've mentioned through out the comments. LOL Publishing houses employ profrssional editors to insure 'good stories' become money makers, often times in spite of the authors.

GeoD

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Nice twist!

Nice twist! Didn't see this. Coming.

JJMemaw0623JJMemaw0623over 6 years ago

Ok I am so not happy here!! Please send that next chapter out as soon as possible! Please keep writing!!! 😥😥

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