A Letter to Sweetness - My Wife

de·va·da·si [ de·va·da·si ] (plural de·va·da·sis) - a member of a hereditary class of woman dancers in a Hindu temple.

Direct Sanskrit translation devadāsī - "woman servant of a deity"

"The term 'Devadasi' evokes a mystical past, replete with devotion, and dedication of girls to deities, refrains of soaring music and sensuous dances that attracted the patronage of kings and commoners. They were dedicated for a life of service as a child to a number of Hindu deities with the Lord Krishna and Lord Shiva and the Lady Kama sometimes their personal Gods. They practiced a form of the Hindu Devadasi religion that gave expression through pleasure to men as part of their religious faith and by being the perfect compliment to men's lingam, both physically and spiritually. The experience of Tantric ecstasy with a devadasi brought increased health and vigor to the mind, body and soul of any man who needed spiritual or physical renewal." -- on-line dictionary.

"The Devadasi is married to the Gods, and our love and affection for the Male Deities is genuine. As each man is in someway an incarnation of the Male Deity, we can truly express affection for any man. My gifts are not learnt, but are the consequence of my genuine relationship with the Gods." -- a quote from an ancient Sanskrit text.

…

My Sweetness…

I came across this word -- devadasi - the other day as I was searching for a Sanskrit symbol to represent our relationship and the infinite facets that seem to be spilling out of our life together: our connection that has grown so strong that separation from you seems … unimaginable. And yet, the mystique and eroticism of you grows stronger each day.

Devadasi women in ancient India were powerful individuals not bound by marriage to anyone man, but rather to the deities. Other cultures also had such strong, independent unmarried women figures whose sexuality and eros was seen as the revelation of the divine to be worshipped and experienced. The Sumerians had their High Priestess who conducted fertility rituals imbued with their sensuality and sexuality taking lovers as part of the divine worship. Just like the High Temple priestess of the ancient Sumerians, a devadasi was someone who could combine power and sublime servitude into a transforming moment for her lover and her deity that the temporary companion represented.

This concept has been pushed aside in modern times. Worship of the sensual and sexual deity has changed to austere reverence of the metaphysical. The old way is consider vulgar and the practitioners equated with prostitution and sinful lust. And truthfully, the institutions that gave birth to such a role corrupted it. Priest began to use devadasi for their monetary benefit and power fulfilling the prophecy of the critics.

However, why does a male psyche keep a flame lit for such women?

For a strong woman full of sensuality and with a powerful commitment of spiritual service to the divine arouse us men like no other. Watching you walk through the crowd in the night heat at the art festival last summer brought that feeling to the front for me: ornate in splendor yet quietly walking through the crowd of people. Speaking to others in respective tones, willing to listen, and even absorb critique but in the end causing them to believe in you and your ideas. You project a woman's strength, beauty, erotic power and spiritual service all in a single moment just as I imagine devadasi of old did.

And that projection causes me to desire you more -- as my lover fulfilling my desires, but also as your admirer longing to be quietly at your feet while you to serve all you want to serve. Strength attracts. My paradox as a man -- the strong being with animal desires that so unbalance us -- can find rest in such a shadow. Though we may not have a direct public role for such powerful sensual women anymore in our modern society, that persona lurks near the surface potentially being realized through private lovers' play.

As I learn more about the world and myself, I can understand my desires better through the tantric lens of devadasi. As I said before, the power of you is your confidence and service. You bring to all your personas this balanced grace, and this includes when you echo the spirit of a devadasi. So as your man, I at times find my immature spirit desiring you as something to sooth my ego and insecurities. You are attractive, you are with me, and I will show the other men how good it is by sharing you even if only through their eyes.

Still, at other times, I do feel this acknowledgement that your grace is bigger than just soothing me. The potential of your sensuality is awe inspiring, and connected with divine play. You can provide solace and a divine moment for any male if you so desire. And strangely, this brings me greater erotic feelings than just showing you off. Actualizing this potential through play and, if you so desire, your temporary bonding with other men is mesmerizing.

Though logic and reason cannot explain it, the more I read about devadasi there more I sense that concepts are part of how I see us. My desire to share you can transcend to something more attuned to worship - worshipping your feminine strength and power wrapped in service and pleasure. Your spirit is that bold in my eyes.

Whoa…Crazy I know, but I just felt it reading about devadasi…