A Little R&R Ch. 04

The thought of them being divided in this limbo nauseated Rude, compounding the headache that was already taking up a stronghold. He punched his card at the main gate and stumbled in. If I only knew what to do, he mused. Stepping into the grand hall of the first floor, he secured an elevator and punched the button for the infirmary floor. There was only one practitioner on at this hour, and within a few minutes had his hand sewn back together. He decided to keep his work glove on it for tonight, not wanting to accidentally disturb the delicate work.

Back in his room, Rude stretched himself out on his bed, still dressed to the nines. His head was aching and the need for sleep was strong, but his mind would not settle, finally winning its demand for attention.

You pushed him away, a tiny voice scolded, and now you want him back. You don't talk when he wants to, and yet you lose yourself the first opportunity he has to be with someone else. He rolled over onto his side. You want him beside you as much as he does. He closed his eyes, tears burning at the rim. He needed him. He wanted and needed him in so many ways that it overrode his fear... his fear of screwing a good thing up. He didn't want to have things end on a sour note, like with so many other relationships. He couldn't bear the thought of having an after to all of this. Rude grabbed his pillow, cramming it hard to his chest, and cried himself to sleep. He promised to himself that if Reno couldn't run, neither would he.

~~~~

Reno rolled over and fell out of bed, onto the floor. He jolted upright and instantly regretted the decision as his head screamed in protest. Maybe I should have stopped two shots sooner he thought as he forced his eyes open, startled that he wasn't home. Baby rolled over in the bed and grinned cutely at Reno.

"What the hell happened?" he croaked, swallowing to wet his throat.

"We got home, you got naked and into bed... and you passed out. Maki and I finished up without you." He grinned mischievously. "It's probably better if you slept it off before you went home to your boyfriend, anyway."

"He's not my boyfriend," Reno huffed, looking around in the dark. "Where are my clothes?"

"They're on the dresser." Baby rolled over and buried his head into Maki. "Good luck with your boyfriend."

Reno tossed his clothes on and left the one room apartment, closing the door behind him. He checked his pocket for his keys and his card. Finding them in tact, he stumbled through the dark, back to the club, and tore off from the parking lot, headed back for headquarters.

Reno bumped the door gently with his hip and snuck into the room as quietly as he could. Rude had requested not to be disturbed and he was going to keep to his word. He opted not to lose the pants, but took the shirt off and dropped it with his boots by the closet. He noted, rather dully, that the mattresses were still in the frame. He had always detested bunk beds for the simple reason of getting into them. Reno looked down to make sure he wasn't stepping on Rude and noted his attire. Reno caught himself checking him out and chastised himself. Just forget it, Reno. It's not gonna happen. He stepped onto the edge of Rude's bed and hoisted himself into the top bunk, trying hard not to jostle the bed any more than he had to.

Rude woke to the sound of the bed creaking. He shifted somewhat, rolling his arm underneath him. A dull stabbing pain shot up to his chest, he had crushed his battered hand. "S'that you Reno?" he murmured sleepily. He rubbed his forehead as his headache resumed its previous oppression. The bed creaked as Reno settled in above him, but he said nothing as he burrowed under his blanket.

"Thought you weren't coming home," he snipped back, annoyed by the lack of response. The words echoed in his ears, bringing a fresh heat to his cheeks. He was angry, frustrated, and overall very hurt. Reno leaned over the edge of the bed, his head pounding as he did.

"Yea. I decided not to stay."

Rude rolled over to his back, his eyes landing on the upside down redhead. His hair was as wild as ever and his trademark cocked grin present in the midnight hour shadows. Rude took off his sunglasses with his good hand, resting them on the edge of the bunk bed frame. Oh how he wished things were simple again. He grunted in acknowledgement.

"Yea, so, why weren't you at the normal dive instead? If I wasn't trashed off my ass, I would have been surprised to see you, yo." Rude snorted humorously.

"I was hijacked."

"Hijacked?" Reno hung a bit further off the bed, despite the hammering in his skull. Rude broke into a crooked smile.

"Yeah, Elena and her friends... they had been..." he paused, the idea still novel to him, "plotting."

"So they finally went through with it, eh? Elena asked me three months ago what size you wore. Hell, I don't even know what size I wear, let alone you."

Rude propped both hands overtop his head, careful to keep his bad one on top. "She had one of her partners in crime dig through the company databases." He shook his head. It felt good to be back on real speaking terms with Reno.

"Hey, now there's an idea. I'll have to tuck that one away for later." He rolled over onto his side, nursing his aching head. "So, uh, how's your hand?"

Rude grunted. It was like fire now. He gently pried off the leather cover and took a close look.

"Stitched, hurts like hell now..." His voice trailed off, noticing in retrospect that it had taken close to 30 minutes before it was uncomfortably painful, and now that the local anesthetic had worn off he was regretting having hit the tequila at all.

"So up 'til you had the incident with the shot glass, which I'll be keeping you from, did'cha have a good time?"

He sighed. Truthfully, it was only for a moment or so that qualified. He withheld answering, debating on what to say. "The time of my life." His voice dripped with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes. Please don't make me relive today... please.

"Yea...." Reno faltered a bit. "You need to get out more, yo. Meet some nice girls or something. There's that girl from receiving who had a thing for you, y'know." This was leaving him raw and bleeding inside, but he pressed on. "I'm sure Elena's friends were appreciative tonight."

Rude gave a flat hum, not interested in talking about the several thousand times he had been groped. It was too much attention, and from too many people; something he noted he didn't really want to do again.

"Hey," Reno bounced across the bed and dropped to the floor. "Did they remember to send in our uniforms?" He was clearly excited as he scanned the room in the dark. Rude shrugged, a gesture lost in the shadows. He hadn't noticed anything when he came in, but he also fell straight into bed. His feet swung over the side of the bed and he sat up, knocking his bald head on the top bunk railing.

"God damnit!" he howled, both hands covering his eyes and forehead.

"Ey, Rude, you alright? Y'gotta watch out for them, man. They bite." He reached out his hand and rubbed Rude's head.

He grumbled, easing himself out carefully. There was going to be a nice sized knot by tomorrow, just near dead center too. He lingered, letting his partner rub the tender spot. It was comforting, the sting fading and the ache melding with the background throb of his headache.

"Y'gonna be a'rright? So y'didn't notice uniforms when y'came in, yo?"

He grumbled again. This string of luck had to end at some point, otherwise, he was screwed. "No. I was..." he fumbled for the words. His tongue uncooperative, he gave the simplest explanation. "I just wanted t'crash."

Reno nodded and headed for the closet, throwing the door open. Hanging inside were two garment bags. Reno pulled one out and opened it, checking the uniform inside. "These are gonna be sweet tomorrow, yo." He walked over to the bed and tossed the bag at Rude, sitting beside him. "Check this out. Just picked 'em up today."

Rude peeked inside the bag. "I can't see it, turn on the lights."

"How can you not see in this light, Rude? You work with sunglasses on for cryin' out loud." Reno flipped the switch at the door and blinked hard, grabbing his head as they flickered on. Rude blinked severely, the sudden change in lumens was startling. Reno parked on the bed beside Rude again and pulled the garment bag open. Dark black erupted from the bag, the fabric smooth and flat. A single zipper ran three fourths up the center torso. A few buttons lined each sleeve, and tucked inside was a crisp new shirt and black tie. Rude hefted a half laugh, thinking how pristine someone else's tie still was... that is, wherever it had run off to.

"Dress uniforms? Since when?" He liked his faithful old navy suit. It had served him well through the last few years, and he felt it still had a few more left to go. He fondled a sleeve, the texture slick and thin.

"Looks like there's more room to move in these. The others were too stiff."

Rude chortled. "Just having a shirt buttoned is too restrictive to you."

"And tomorrow you're going to get to see a first, Rude, m'man." Reno smirked and leaned in toward Rude. "I'll be in full uniform, complete with the noose around my neck."

Rude stopped in mid-laugh.

"What?" he blinked, a surprised look plastered to his face. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Reno in a tie.

"Y'heard me. I'll be done up like you, Big Man."

Rude got up from the bunk and gave Reno a hard stare, eyebrows knitted in the center. "Who are you and where's the real Reno?" Reno laughed and leaned back on his elbows across the bottom bunk.

"Hey, new uniforms and all. I have to wear it at least once, right?"

"Ahhh, see? That proves you aren't him." Rude snatched his bag up with a cocked grin, dusting it gently with his damaged hand. "Don't want your pod people... things... getting on it."

"Pod people things," Reno snorted. He stood and took the bag from Rude and hung it back in the closet. "You wanna know the real reason?"

"Chick or money?" Rude asked, eyeing him cautiously. He knew that most things in Reno's life revolved around those two things.

"Neither. Rufus has a bet with Tseng." Reno was out for blood where Tseng was concerned and it would be nice to see him pony up, even if it was to the President. He was eating up being able to talk to Rude again like he used to. He was afraid things would never be the same again. He made a silent agreement that he had made the right choice by going home with the other boys, even if nothing happened. Rude just needed time away and things were fine again, just as he expected. He flashed another of his signature grins.

"Nice." Rude flashed one back, relieved inside that things seemed to be back to normal. It felt good to enjoy something about today. Rude had a very strong urge to just walk over and hug the stuffings out of Reno. He couldn't explain the why; just that he suddenly felt the need to be close. He took a step towards the redhead then paused. All day he had been avoiding the subject all together, and even at his best Reno still managed to show up everywhere. Now that the issue wasn't pressing, Rude thought in the deep recesses of his mind that now would be ok. Rude shied his head away as he cleared his throat.

Reno hesitated for a moment, noting the play of emotions across Rude's face but continued on with the conversation for fear of losing him. "Heh, I had contemplated not telling you and just showing up tomorrow morning in full gear, but I thought it might be best to warn you." He looked up at the bunk, eyeing it scornfully. "Hey, you don't mind if I pull that mattress off the top there, do ya? I've always hated those damned things." Rude gave a wave with his bad hand, sending sparks through the bones and joints.

Fuck, I gotta be more careful. He recoiled, nursing it gently with the other. "Not if you don't mind getting it yourself." He stationed himself away from the fall zone of the mattress. Reno shook his head and pulled the mattress down from its perch at the top of the bunk and dropped it onto the floor.

"I hate bunks. One person moves, both people feel it." He curled into the center of the mattress and curled into his blanket. "We should get some sleep, Rude. Tomorrow morning comes early." Rude hit the lights and carefully stepped around Reno on a path just wide enough for his feet to skim through. He sat himself on the edge of his bed, pulling off the over shirt he still had on. Balling it up, he chewed on his lower lip, nodding at what he knew he had to do.

"I'm sorry Reno... for being an ass to you lately."

"Eh, forget about it." He rolled over suddenly. "Hey, you wouldn't want to sleep outside the bunk, would ya? More room for the shoulders that way and, no offense Big Guy, but I'm not as wide as you."

Rude wasn't satisfied in his reply, it wasn't something he could just forget about. He dropped onto his knees and curled up next to Reno, hugging him about the chest as he buried his forehead amongst the red-tinted tresses.

"No, I won't... and I mean it..." he sighed lightly.

Reno patted Rude's head. "It's not a big deal, Rude. You're my best friend. It's not like I'm going to let a little bit of cranky get in the way of that."

Was he simply entertaining him now? Had things really gone too far? That the sensitive topics he couldn't bear to contemplate were now moot? Rude saddened, his heart dropping what felt was twenty feet through the floor. He didn't like where this was going so far, and panic was nibbling as the edge of his thoughts.

"Yeah, but you were just..." he let the words hang. Just trying to talk with me. He felt low.

"Mmm... just what?" He wriggled in closer.

"Just trying to figure out the same thing I was." He nuzzled into the crook of Reno's neck.

"Yea? What was I trying to figure out? I already figured out we're still friends. That's all that matters to me, Rude. S'all I wanted all along." He was bald-face lying, but the lie sounded so good. He could pretend anything that made life easier on Rude just as long as he could have this for another night.

But I thought you wanted something more than friendship. The thought ran both ways. He was tired, spent from one too many disasters and the words weighed heavily on his tongue, begging to be spoken. Rude closed his eyes, playing in his mind his unveiling of truth, declaring his needs. As he drowsed off, he only mumbled, "I don't."

It took a minute for the words to sink in. Don't what? Reno puzzled over it for a moment before rolling back toward Rude. "Don't what, yo?" Rude was steadily breathing heavy. Reno flipped so he was facing Rude, his eyes roving the other's face. What was that supposed to mean? He doesn't think we're still friends? He doesn't believe me? He doesn't want to be just friends? What the hell? Reno's forehead hurt as he puzzled.

He had found a fine time to fall asleep. Drop an open ended comment like that and then leave him lying here all night to riddle it out. Reno shook his head. It had to be the booze talking. Reno had been trashed, he knew Rude had been drinking, and no one ever made sense after they'd been drinking. He made a point not to get involved anymore. It hurt too much and he had gotten too good at avoiding pain to continue this. He would take whatever he could get behind closed doors. He wouldn't ask about it, wouldn't talk about it, just accept it for what it was and act like nothing had changed outside their room at night.

Reno smiled, watching Rude sleep. How long had he wanted to do just this... lie in his arms and watch him sleep? Be there when he woke up and not have to scurry off like a rat in the night as the sun's rays poked in through the windows. Reno cast his eyes toward the small window near the ceiling and watched a faint pink glow filter across the tiles. He didn't have to leave tonight and he had Rude right there. Reno buried his head in Rude's chest and wrapped his arms around him, fighting sleep for as long as he could.