Book 01: A Match Made Ch. 06

I woke up with a jolt, which woke you. I was stiff and shivering. You smiled, I think, and kissed me. I moved my legs. Oh fuck, we're naked in my car!!

I screeched, "We're still at the beach, Kara. Get up. We have to get dressed and get the hell out... OW!" You had lifted from me by the time I said 'up' and were busy looking for your clothes. It's not easy trying to find stuff in the dark and my god it was dark. Pitch black, coal black... any of them would work. And as you fumbled around what I think was your elbow caught me on the cheek. It hurt... a lot!

I felt you squirm and could only assume you'd found your dress and were pulling it on. "I'm so sorry, baby. Are you okay?" I have NO idea!

"It hurts but other than that I have no idea. I have a bad feeling I'm going to find out in the morning." I hear the titter. I had a much harder time with the jeans. Those skinny jeans that looked so good when I put them on much earlier were a son of a bitch to get on in a goddamn car! "Did you find my halter top?"

"Uh uh. Want me to keep looking?"

"Fuck it; let's get home. I didn't bother with underwear; the hell with the top."

We both giggled like maniacs as she hurried us home. Yup, I let Kara drive. She knew her way around way more than I did. We ran from the car to the door. Once in the house, after the door was locked, we scurried like giggling teenagers to the bedroom and threw ourselves on the bed. After we kissed, we both lay on our sides... and giggled.

"How are we supposed to sleep after that?" I saw her eyes scan my face. The blues gave it away. Goddammit! She saw in my eyes that I knew and tried to kiss me.

"Take that damn dress off." Little miss dangerous made storm clouds.

"I said I was sorry. It was an accident. Neither of could see a thing. We only found our underwear and your top when we opened the door." Luscious said all that while she shrugged the dress over her head and lay back down.

"Want me to take off your jeans?" I saw the blues twinkle. Insatiable!

***

It's miserable that we had to go home Sunday. We'd had oodles of fun. Renting the house was a glorious luxury that made no sense. We could have stayed in cheap national hotel room for all that it mattered. But I wanted to have a chance to meet the owner of the house, let her see the two of us, and the rest. We had a 1pm appointment to see about next year.

Blondie did not get up at the butt crack of dawn for glazed donuts. She had the nerve to laugh when I mentioned it to her. She did volunteer to get up and make coffee. I noticed a red mark on that cute butt that could have come from a hand. I have no idea if that had anything to with anything. She glared when she came back with my coffee.

"Thank you gorgeous." Kara sat on the corner of the bed away from me. "What?" I had seen her look down. I got up and went to the dresser; there was a mirror on top of it. "Oh my god!" I turned and looked; she was biting back a smile. "Fine! I'm telling everyone you hit me." My silly blonde bounded off the bed.

"You can't do that!" I would never!

"Sure I can." She came closer and stared into my eyes. Crap, she's gonna see. She shook her head.

"We have to do something about breakfast or lunch or whatever. I'm hungry." I smiled. She laughed. "Yeah okay, I deserve that after last night or this morning or whatever." Kara turned serious. "And we have to talk about something."

"Do you want to talk wherever we're going?" She shook her head.

"No, this has to be a private conversation." She hesitated, then said, "And please don't ask what it's about. I promise we'll talk till we're done." I felt a chill run through me. Kara must have seen something. She slipped her fingers over my cheek, smiled and said, "No, baby, please don't worry. It's not about us. We're absolutely fine!"

We dressed like a couple of women on vacation. Kara was in that scandalous button down midriff top and short shorts. I wore a black tee shirt with 'P.S. I'm A Lesbian' on the back. It was Kara's. I'd laughed for 5 minutes when she put it on and begged her to let me wear it. Blondie wore sandals. I had on white tennies. Neither of us wore underwear. Rebels!

Sexy had suggested the Phoenix Street Cafe. We looked at the menu, looked at each other, and had the same thought - Good idea; wrong day. I spotted something that changed my mind.

"The 'Country Favorite' is 2 eggs, bacon or ham and hash browns. We can skip the biscuits and gravy." She whimpered and made puppy eyes; I laughed and kissed her. "I'll skip them." I spotted something else. "On second thought, you can have the biscuits. I know what I'm having." I pointed to the corned beef hash. "Yummy!"

Holy crap it was good!! It came mixed with onions and potatoes. And two eggs and toast. I would have to exercise for two weeks but it was heavenly. Blondie was oddly quiet as we ate. This won't do.

"Kara." She looked over her coffee cup. "Just tell me." She set the cup down on the table. Her mouth moved as she bit the inside of her mouth. A finger ran around the rim. I'm positive her leg was swinging. She looked at me.

"Her name when I knew her was Alexis." What? Alexis? Who the hell is Alexis?

"What are you talking about, Kara?" Something in my voice got her to snap her head up and look at me. She shivered. Does she think I'm angry? "What? What is it? Who is this Alexis? I don't know what... who... anything. Talk to me."

"She was my domme." My blood ran cold.

I'll tell you the god's honest truth. I wanted to bolt and I wanted to throw up. I had to swallow hard to push back the urge to puke. I put both hands on the table to keep myself in the booth and in the restaurant. Kara held eye contact for a few seconds then looked away. I didn't know whether to be scared or angry.

"Are you telling me... Alexis... is Bette?" She didn't look at me, just nodded. "So there's more?" Another nod.

I heard a voice over my shoulder. "Miss." I turned. A pinched face on a fairly pretty woman said, "Your tee shirt is offensive to some of the patrons."

Yeah, this is JUST what I need this morning. This fucking one horse town and this tight ass bitch giving me shit about who I fuck! I stood up.

"Would you like me to take it off?" I put my hands on the bottom of the shirt as if I was going to strip.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." Ma'am huh? She looked me in the eye. "I'm not expressing a personal concern." Oh? Her face got even more pinched -- which was a surprise. "I'm speaking for management on behalf of patrons." Her eyes took on a begging tone. "Please!" What I wanted to do was strip. I was certain she saw it in my eyes. She had no way of knowing I wasn't wearing a bra or that blondie and I were in the midst of... something. Besides, leaving now wasn't a bad idea.

"Let's go, lover. They don't want 'our kind' in their restaurant." I spat the words at the ever-shrinking violet -- who was little more than an innocent player in our mini drama. I saw surprise and gratitude in her eyes. I reached for my purse. "We'll be leaving now. And I have no intention of paying." I took Kara's hand and we left.

Not a word was exchanged as we drove back to the house. I marched to the kitchen and made coffee. Our meeting was in less than an hour. I leaned against the counter and looked at Kara. She looked like... god I can't remember.

"Talk to me." She started to cry. I do not need this shit. She cries when she's upset. I need speech not tears. I waited.

"Can we go outside please?" I nodded.

"We have about an hour until our meeting with Stephanie but yeah, come on."

While we were walking she said, "That note on the windshield was hysterical."

Obviously, we hadn't seen it last night. Someone or more than one had seen us in the car. There was NO way to know how long they'd been watching or what he/she/they had seen.

"Thanks for the show. You two are totally sexy. It's damn hot watching two people fuck. Not quite sure if that was love or sex but it was extremely erotic."

We had laughed and wondered on the way to the restaurant. The way the note was worded made it impossible to tell if it was a couple, 2 women, or 2 puppies.

"We were lucky it wasn't cops, just other humans doing, I suppose... what we were. Now what's on your mind?" I hated making it feel like an inquisition, but to some extent time was the tyrant. We had to be somewhere in an hour.

"About 5 years ago I met a woman named Alexis. I was drawn to her from the start." She glanced away for a moment then came back to me. "I... no... we hadn't... dammit. There hasn't been any contact for many years." She looked at me. "I know we have an appointment so I'm skipping some things that you probably don't want to hear." You got THAT right.

"She called me." I bolted from the chair and went in to the kitchen.

Mother fucking hell. The woman I had given my deepest and darkest to had not only... crap. I don't have enough information to judge. Come on Lissy, woman up. You need to go back, sit, and listen. You can kill one or both of them later. I snickered and did what I told myself to do.

"Please go ahead. I'm sorry for bolting like that. I'm here to listen." The blues were red; my heart wanted to break.

"The first call ended quickly. I hung up on her. She kept calling. I was SO pissed. We had a date and I didn't want her calling when we were together." Perfect! I'll have a judge sign the death warrants when we get home.

"She told me she was proud of me. That I was helping you get over your... fears and things." She shrugged and looked at her cup. "I couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't trying to make up for... stuff... that happened... earlier."

I know you, blondie. The hesitation means you want to tell me but are afraid to -- which you should be.

"And?"

She looked, searching my eyes for signs of anger or more.

"At first it was about 'technique.' She told me... suggested how to use a crop and other things. It was never about pain or abuse!" That was said a little too quickly; I'll find out why later. "I admitted to her that it scared me to hit you. I was so terrified I'd hurt you. It seemed she knew that you wanted it; needed it and why. I didn't ask and she didn't say." She shrugged. "I did what I had to do to give you what I thought you wan... no, needed." I got the coldest chills of my life!!

It got worse. "You told her about the door."

Mother fucker! And she broke confidence and told you! Her ass and her license are MINE!!! I smiled.

"Go on."

"The next time we talked she told me she had an 'assignment' for me." Air quotes again. "She wanted me to help you fulfill your threesome fantasy." I almost dropped my cup; I'm positive my jaw dropped. I have to be calm. She'll lose it if I get angry. "I'm sorry, Lissy. I see you're angry. I didn't want to do it. I wasn't sure it was the right thing -- and I didn't want to risk losing you." So that's why you split when we tried to talk it out and ran like a coward.

"Bette kept telling me she knew that it was what you wanted. I resisted. You had told me he wanted you to but you weren't interested. You felt it was his way of voicing his suspicion that you were bi." I nodded; that was true.

The tears started again. "I fucked up big time." Yeah you did. "I saw it in your eyes in the shower." Mm hmm. "I saw it on the balcony. You were so good trying to talk it out with me. But I saw the fury in your eyes; felt it in your hand. She called me after." WHAT!! "Asked me how it went." Oh my god!! "That was when... no, why I came back. I was on my way back to talk to you when you were leaving for the train." Oh yeah. JR and Andi -- that's right.

"Then you told me about the kiss. I did my best not to lose it, but I have to tell you - if I had a gun, I might have used it." Really? "I was so angry; she was messing with what matters most in my life -- you." Well yeah. "I simmered and stewed and that's why I wanted to go with you the following week." She fidgeted. "I was sure you knew the way I attacked her was cuz of her kissing you."

I can not believe I hadn't noticed anything from Bette when she saw you! How much of a dope am I?

"I could see fear in her eyes when I leaned over the desk. I knew she thought I was going to say something." I sure in the hell wish you had.

"Why didn't you?"

Kara looked shocked at the interruption. I saw her eyes glance at the clock. "We have to go soon. Can I finish please?" All the fury, all the bile, and all the anger boiled to the surface.

"If I had half a brain I'd leave your goddamn blonde ass here and drive home. Alone." She visibly shrank. "Now shut the fuck up about the thing with Stephanie. We'll get there when we get there."

"Can we leave the kiss out of it for a minute?" You have to be kidding!! I shrugged. "I went back and forth about you going back to her. I was so worried she'd keep after you, trying to drive a wedge between us." She shook her head. "You don't know her like I do; she doesn't give up." I thought back to what I'd seen in her eyes and what I had thought when I looked at her. I shivered. I'm such an ass.

"I couldn't stop thinking I'd gone too far with you. Thinking I'd pushed you beyond where you..."

"What are you talking about?" This doesn't feel right. She's leaving something out. "Anything we did was agr... wait. There's more?" She nodded. Something deep inside went ice cold. I want to die. I can't. I have three children.

"Pack your stuff; we're outta here." She started to say something. "So help me god. You better just shut it and do what I TOLD you to do!" I got up, put my cup in the sink, and headed upstairs. I got my suitcase and started to fill it. Cold fury ran through my veins. We're done. Over!

I had paid a housekeeping fee. Stephanie could charge me for not washing the bed and bath linens and leaving the coffee cups unwashed. I'd call her later, apologize, and make plans for next year. I wanted out of there. I wanted to get home.

Not a word was spoken on the ride home. I was too angry. I figured blondie was too scared. I didn't care.

We got to Kara's building. I opened the trunk. She stared.

"I'm going home. Alone!" The tears started. "Take your shit." Startled, she took her bags after a moment's delay.

I was so sick to my stomach I thought I might throw up all over the car or the curb. I didn't know what else to do. Being alone seemed to be the only and best option.

She looked at me, bags in hand. I did my best to make my face, my body language and my eyes cold -- even as my heart threatened to break into a bezillion pieces. Her shoulders slumped in resignation; she turned, walked to the front door, turned again, her face clearly tear stained, waiting, hopeful. I stared. Blue eyes pleaded. Oh god, I want to die.

You can't imagine how hard this is for me to write. It's nearly impossible to type when I'm crying so hard. I love her and it's over between us. The love of a lifetime -- gone.

The elevator door opened; she walked inside. And turned.

The look of desolation in her eyes will haunt me till I die. And the doors closed.

***

Saying my heart is broken would be an understatement... I've lost my heart. I've started emails, texts... started to dial... but I just can't.

Rach and June have been great. They spend a lot of time here watching over fragile me. I try and convince them I'm okay and that they don't need to hover but truth is... I'm not and I don't know what I'd do without them.

What will I do now? Go to work and come home... one foot in front of the other... one day at a time. That's the thing about time; it keeps going. You do move past it, you do make it. Even when you're not sure you want to.

Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about us and, for just a moment, we're together... then it all comes crashing back. The lies, the deceit. It reaches my core and... god it hurts.

I lie in bed and wonder what she's doing, if she's thinking about me too. Why hasn't she called? Would I answer?

I remind myself: Lissy, you can't trust her. It's time to move on. Move on? I'm not sure if I can but I have to try. Maybe someday I'll write another story about how I overcame... but for now, I'm just going to live day to day.

To those who are reading this... I'm sorry there's no 'happily ever after.' I always thought she would be my happy ending.

*

Author's Notes:

This is the final chapter of this work of fiction.

If you're just finding me, thank you. If not, I'm trying some new things in this story.

Something else -- I try to change up how the characters talk and stay away from getting predictable in dialogue and other things. I try to write like we humans talk -- it's not always in a straight line, whether it's speech or thought.

I've mentioned that a story of 150,000 or so words is likely to have a few misspelled. I write, I edit, and I have someone very capable proof. And still things get missed. Please make allowances for the human factor.

I adore interaction with those who choose to read my stories. And won't you please vote... and please consider leaving a comment. I honestly don't mind constructive criticism. It can and does help. And if you feel the need to do so privately you can email me. I promise to respond. It makes writing so much more fun. Thanks