A Most Interesting Life

“Sorry. Sort of seemed like a good idea at the time.” He picked up the small kitchen towel he’d brought in with the ice and began drying my body. “Guess we’ll have to use the old-fashioned way. Hold still, now…” I was really nervous about this. I felt so…well, NAKED in front of my best friend but he seemed almost clinical about it, like he was a doctor or something. His finger was shaking visibly, though, as he moved it toward my nipple. He touched it tentatively, brushing lightly across it. It felt like a fire burning in his touch. Then he took two fingers and kind of manipulated my tit back and forth. “Anything?” he asked.

“Nothing, “ I lied, shuddering and stifling a moan. I could feel both nipples straining to get even harder than they already were and, more surprisingly, my head started feeling a bit dizzy. I didn’t think these were the reactions he was looking for, however, so I kept them to myself. “I mean, obviously they’re really sensitive but, like I said, mine usually are.” “Hmmmm.” He reached down and stroked the other one. A shiver went through me and a little gasp escaped my mouth. “You okay?”, he asked.

I sat up quickly, pulling down my shirt and brushing my hair back. “Fine. Look, there was no difference. I think I’m ready to take the test now.” I was actually very confused. Woody was my friend, not my lover, yet I felt my juices definitely flowing. I felt my skin feeling hotter in the cold living room and I felt my head spinning when he touched me…and he didn’t seem to notice any of this shit! Were my nipples extra-sensitive because I was pregnant? Who the hell could think about something like that at a time like this? I was going crazy!

“Has anyone ever told you that you can be damn frustrating at times?”, he sighed as I flitted across the room leaving him sitting there on the floor.

“Asshole!” I said.

“What made you change your mind so suddenly?”

“Well, I…I…I just decided that you were right…as usual…so I should just listen to you.” I said it but I couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Oh, yeah. I can really see that being a possibility. What’s the real story?”

“Shut up! I just decided that all the old wives’ tales in the world wouldn’t give me the good solid information that one pregnancy test can.” I nodded my head assuredly but I realized that it was myself I was trying to convince. I didn’t really care about the damn test at that moment. I was feeling things I hadn’t felt in a long, long time with a guy…only it wasn’t with a guy, dammit! It was with Woody!

For his part, I could see nothing. He took a deep breath and stood up. “Okay, okay, okay,” was all he said as he picked up his bag again. For a moment I thought he was leaving and I didn’t know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing. “Luckily for you…”, he continued, pulling a small box out of his bag, “I had the foresight to pick up a pregnancy test at lunch today.”

“What? That was incredibly presumptuous. I told you that I didn’t…”

“I know, I know, but hey, now that you want it, we have it right here, see. Isn’t that a good thing?” I bit my lip. I truly hated it when people presumed to get me things they think I need. In this case, though, he was right. My sudden flare of anger cooled quickly and I held out my hand to take the box. “All right, how does this thing work?”

“You have to pee in it.”

“What?!”

“You pee in the little…whatever… device.”

“It’s a plastic thingie,” I said, rolling it around in my hand.

“Okay, then, you pee in the little plastic thingie. If a minus sign comes up, you’re negative. If a plus sign comes up…”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it.”

“Don’t get so nervous. We’re taking care of you. Geez, you’re actually sweating and it’s freezing in here.”

I was sweating and it had nothing to do with that test. What’s more, I was juicing up a lot down there. I couldn’t stop it because I wasn’t sure how to stop thinking of Woody that way. I looked at him. He was slight, balding and had thick glasses. Definitely not my type. Not even a single tattoo! Yet ever since I met him it had seemed like we’d known each other for years. We finished each other’s thoughts and sentences and put up with each other’s quirks…and mine could get pretty quirky sometimes. Why hadn’t we ever…? “No! No! No!” I thought to myself. “This kind of thinking is just wrong! I’ll take the damn test and get Woody out of here fast so I can get my mind off his cock…I mean…Oh, shit! That is what I meant!” I was a basket case and started to tear up again in my confusion.

“Honey, don’t worry! I’m right here for…”

“UUUUGH!” I interrupted as I ran in the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I pulled down my jeans and my pink lace thong and sat down on the toilet. I couldn’t deny the fact that the tiny crotch area of the thong was soaked. I spread my legs apart and ran the fingers of my left hand across my mound. I plucked at my dewy lower lips, fluffing them out like an aromatic flower. Oh so lightly, I let my fingertips tickle the soft flesh. My index finger found my swollen clit and I was beginning to feel really good when suddenly there came a tapping on the bathroom door.

“You okay in there?” Woody inquired quietly.

“Shit! Fuck! Damn it!! Go away! I’ll be out in a minute!” One thing was sure. I was too turned on to pee until I took care of myself. Maybe if I took a minute for that I could finally stop thinking about Woody “that way” and how good his cock would feel in my soft hands or…”Mmmmmm!” I had absentmindedly begun using my pinky on my clit. I closed my eyes and tried to think of a dozen other dicks but I could only envision one I’d never seen before-the one on the other side of that damned door. I imagined what it might feel like, pushing slowly up into my body, making me feel totally filled by his flesh. Ummmmm! I imagined I could smell his sweat and feel his hot breath on my neck. Oh my gosh! I was rubbing myself raw by that point and I was starting to tremble. It wasn’t easy but I stifled a moan as I started to come and my bladder muscles finally loosened up. I suddenly couldn’t keep from peeing. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to grab the pregnancy test off the sink next to me and catch a few drops in the little plastic thingie. I set it aside and slumped back on the toilet exhausted.

There came another tentative knock. “I, uh…I’m sorry to bother you but…well, are you finished yet? It’s been about ten minutes.”

I folded a piece of toilet paper and wiped. The action gave me another small tremble. “Mmmmm, yes!” I said. “I’m done now.” I tried to focus on the pregnancy question again. “How long do we have to wait?” I pulled my clothes back on.

“About 15 minutes to be sure,” he said as I opened up the door.

Fifteen more minutes. The time ticked by in relative silence. We lay around on the floor paging absentmindedly through the books he had brought. Every once in awhile, I swore I could feel his eyes watching me. When I looked, though, he was reading to himself. I kept trying to imagine what he would look like naked. After awhile, I suggested that we might want to watch a video while we waited. “No, it’s been plenty of time. We have to know.”

I took a long, deep breath and climbed to my feet, holding onto the edge of the coffee table. I crossed my fingers, laughed nervously and walked into the bathroom with my eyes closed, knowing full well that the next few moments could change my entire life.

“Well?” asked Woody walking up to the open door.

“It…It’s negative,” I stated flatly. “ I am not…repeat, NOT pregnant!” My face lit up with joy and relief and my head immediately felt a hundred times lighter.

“Fantastic!”, he said as I laughed uncontrollably. He opened his arms and I gladly fell into them and we kind of jumped up and down in celebration of my dumb luck. I hugged him tightly. I could feel my breasts squeezed into his chest. We were so close I could smell him. His hands were snugly on my shoulders when I suddenly got that strange feeling again and pulled back suddenly. His face looked different somehow and he was just staring into my eyes, speaking volumes!

“Stop that!” I said forcefully. “Stop that right now!”

At first he said nothing. Then, after long seconds, he whispered, “No.” His hands slid down to my waist but would not let go. I broke eye contact. I was unsure what I should think or feel as he moved his face closer than it had ever been to mine. I felt a twinge between my legs.

I looked up and saw his lips part . “Oh, fuck,” I thought but it was too late. Woody’s lips latched intently onto mine in what had to be the single most passionate kiss I had ever felt in my entire life! An electric shock suddenly ran through my entire body. My thoughts started swimming in a million directions at once but with only one destination. There was no turning back.

Woody’s tongue never left my mouth as I literally tore open his shirt with buttons flying everywhere. Almost on their own, my hands began running themselves over his hairy chest, scratching all down to his waist with my fingernails before fumbling with his zipper.

I kept moaning and mumbling even though we pulled away from each other just long enough for him to pull my top off over my head leaving my boobs bouncing free for him to knead and squeeze.

As I finally got his pants off, I reached through the pee-hole in his green boxers and pulled out his thick, fleshy penis. It was already oozing out the tip so I spread the pre-cum on my hand and used it to pump him quickly and with a loud squishy sound. Meanwhile, I slipped out of my own jeans, too, and they ended up in a pile next to his on my carpet.

Woody dropped his head to my neck and began licking and nibbling like a starving vampire. My hair was in the way but he didn’t seem to mind as he kept at me like a madman, leaving marks that wouldn’t go away for days! My hand had made its way to my pussy by then, rubbing the hard little nub of my clit as fast as I could until he forcibly pulled my fingers away and began rubbing it for me as if he’d been doing it for years.

In the wonderful dizziness of the moment, I lost my balance and fell on the floor pulling Woody down with me. For just a moment, time seemed to stop and our eyes met again, this time not as friends but as lovers. “Are you sure?”, I asked in a breathless, shaky voice, almost afraid of the answer. His answer was to pull the crotch of my thong aside and, in a swift, single motion, fill me with that beautiful cock right up to his tight balls!

My eyes literally rolled back into my head and I let out a loud “Unhhh!” and wrapped my long legs around his back as he began plunging in and out of me with pure abandon. My hands drew blood as the nails scraped across his neck and shoulders. Every once in awhile, I allowed myself a moment to catch his eye and feel the fires he was feeling. The room smelled of a strong, sweet musk that I doubted would ever go away. “Oh, oh, oh!” I murmered every time he bore down on me. “Honey, wait! Do me…Ungh! Do me doggie-style, please! Oh, fuck me on my knees, honey!” He paused and pulled out long enough for me to get into position in front of him. As I climbed up, I admired the sheen of my pussy juice on his meat and knelt my head down just enough to give it a fast, tasty lick. Woody hadn’t said a word since this had started but now he was breathing hard and sweating. As I wiggled my tight little butt up at him, he slapped my left ass cheek unexpectedly and I was surprised that I liked it! “Ow! Do it again, you bastard!” He did, this time hitting my right cheek. “OW! Harder!” He spanked me on my rump a few more times, undoubtedly leaving it red and sore before finally plunging back into the wet stickiness between my legs. The moment he touched me I could feel that magical energy again and I knew that he could feel it, too. I began bucking my ass in earnest, balancing on one hand and rubbing my clit with the other.

He was grunting now in a way I never thought I’d hear him as he fucked me hard and fast on the floor of my own apartment. “Are you gonna come?” I asked. “Is my pussy squeezing you hard enough?” With that, Woody spanked my ass again, then ran his right hand through the wetness where he was screwing me, finally jamming not one but two fingers up my virgin ass! That was all she wrote as far as my body was concerned and I began convulsing in orgasm. “Ohhhhhhhhh, shit, fuck, yes!!! Oh, God! I’m coming!!!…I…I….ungh! FUCK! Awwwwwwww….Mmmmmmmm…”

Apparently, this set him off, too, as his eyes suddenly squinted tight and he let out a loud grunting moan like some sort of animal. In the back of my mind, I expected him to pull out and shoot his cum across the tattoo on my back but instead he pushed as deep as he could go into my vagina, releasing three or four welcome, hot spurts of cream that made my insides glow with their heat! I collapsed flat onto the carpet and Woody, his prick still nestled tightly between my thighs, lay on top of me. After long moments of just listening to each other start to breathe normally again, he rolled off of me and we looked at each other in a brand new light.

“Well, hi, there, stud.” I said finally.

“Hello, sweetheart. I guess…where do we go from here?”

“Well, right off the top of my head, I’d say we give it a couple weeks and then YOU are gonna buy me yet another pregnancy test! Dumbass!”

“Sorry…I…”

“Oh, don’t apologize, hon. That was hot! In fact, we may just have to buy stock in pregnancy tests ‘cause I am never going to be able to go back to looking at you as ‘just a friend’ now that I know what you can do to me with that thing.” Woody leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. I licked just a bit with the tip of my tongue. There was a sweet taste there that I’d never felt with any other man I’d kissed. I thought about everything that had just happened and I could feel his cum leaking out between my legs. I reached down and got some on my finger, then licked it off. “You know,” I laughed, “No matter how much I might like things to be uneventful occasionally, I guess I continue to lead a most interesting life.”