A Penny For Your Thought Ch. 03

"What?! What are you talking about?" Nickolas sounded surprised and confused.

"Never mind, can you please move so I can go home? I have a really bad headache and I think I just flunked the exam," she heard herself say. 'Again with the over sharing, why is this guy making me say everything that's on my mind?' she wondered.

***

She was trying to get past him and Nick was thinking frantically about something to say that would give an opening to future association. Some part of his mind was wondering why he was bothering with this rude girl.

"Wait," he heard himself say, while an idea was forming. "How about we meet later to wallow in self pity together? I think I did badly on this exam as well."

"I don't date," came her short retort.

"Good, I'm not asking you on a date, but an evening of self pity. I'm Nick, by the way."

"Cassie," she replied automatically, but he saw she was still irritated and distrustful. He tried listening to her thoughts but it was like the sound of static noise, and it was really distracting so he blocked it off again.

"Look, you see I have a date with Jen," he said showing her his hand. "I promise you, I have nothing but friendly intentions, plus I know you are a great student and I wanted to talk to you about studying together for the Ethics course. I'm really getting lost in all the material." Once he said it, it suddenly seemed like a great idea, and he berated himself for not thinking about the idea earlier. If she was so focused on school then this was a way to get close to her.

"Okay," Cassie finally said. "Not to the self pity party but to the studying I mean." She looked as though she was flattered he had asked for help. "Meet me tomorrow evening in the library, around five PM?"

"Great, thanks," he said, and with that he let her leave.

___________________________________

Now, sitting at his kitchen counter, Nick remembered how they began to study together and how he had gotten a glimpse into the strenuous and over-achieving world of Cassie. Once he understood her ambitions and her need to succeed, he started making sure she would get the better grades. He settled on being second best, so she would be happy.

He seemed to care for her and her feelings from the start, and once he got to know her a little he was willing to do everything possible to keep her in his life. It was like they clicked on some spiritual level: if he was a hopeless romantic he would have said she was his other half. With time they became great friends. As far as he knew, he was as much her only friend as she was his. He was attracted to her but knew he would never do anything to jeopardize their friendship. Once he got to know her he discovered how sensitive she was - even though she tried to put up a strong front - so he knew he could really hurt her feelings if they started dating and it ended like all his other relationships. He was even determined to try and block her thoughts for as long as he could, and decided that no matter what he heard once her mental voice wormed its way into his brain, he wouldn't let it influence him.

In time, Nick saw that something about Cassie was different. Even when he let go of his blocking, he usually couldn't hear her. Only a few words here and there. Actually, being around her was very relaxing; he could just let go of his concentration when it was just the two of them. After a while even the static noise coming from her brain disappeared, leaving in its place a soft silence that was disturbed only occasionally by a floating word or sentence that he understood only if he listened; if he didn't, it was like a distant conversation being held in another room.

Many times he regretted not moving the relationship to the next level; she was perfect for him and he had known that he was in love with her for some time. But in addition to the fear of ruining their friendship, he just wasn't sure that Cassie was interested. Oh, sure, there were times that she looked at him appreciatively or when he caught a stray thought about him, but this didn't mean anything. Nick had learned early on that there was a difference between what people thought and what they were willing to act on. Moreover, he wasn't sure that he was as perfect for her as she was for him. Having his abilities opened a whole world of temptations and he didn't always take the higher road and act honorably. In fact he made quite a few mistakes in his life. Cassie on the other hand was perfect; she was a genuinely good girl. Even though, there were things about her he didn't know, some aspects about her past (mainly her childhood) that she never spoke about, he was sure there were no skeletons in her closet. All these reasons contributed to the reality, that although it was frustrating, although over the seven years they had been friends his attraction to her had only grown, he had forced himself to remain willing to settle for what they had.

Until today.