A Seduction Pt. 01

This is taken from a running email dialogue between a very sensual dominant woman and a submissive male - each in search of what the other has: Call this Part 1

Miss,

I am infatuated with your note below:

"What is it about a subtle shift in a glance, a slow lowering of lashes, a gentle throbbing of veins on the side of a long, thick neck that tells you everything you need to know? And then, you pounce..."

Those sentences resonate in me more than I care to admit. To be someone's prey, to be seen and understood so deeply and to be exposed and vulnerable to another being is a powerful state that I wish to encounter. I hope we have a chance to chat.

Kind Regards,

ry

Dear Ry,

Tell me more about why those words resonated in you ...

Jen

Hi Jen,

My life is (insert caveat here: mostly) an open book. What would you like to know about me? Seriously - what may I share with you so that you understand me a bit better. And what may I know about you? How did you come to the state of mind that you find yourself in the context of D/s? What about this world brings you the most fulfillment and joy?

Kind Regards,

ryan,

Dear ryan,

Love caveats...lol. Of course we all have our spots of reserve. Where would the fun be if you were a completely open book. Seriously though, tell me about when you figured out you were submissive. And bisexual.

As for me, ask what you will. To answer your first question, I found out I was dominant while still in college. It was definitely an eye-opener. It took me a few years to understand what it all meant, to become comfortable in my own skin, and how it all fit into my general life. It has been a journey ever since.

What brings me joy and fulfillment? I enjoy watching my sub come undone by my hands, my mouth, my words- among other things. I like being the one that determines how, what, and when we get to a certain level. I'm a sensualist. It excites me being the top. Sue me...lol.

Jen

Dear Jen,

Please allow me to share with you my own self-analysis about how and when I came to realize the things you ask about. Realizing and finding a label for them are two different items right? I have always thought of myself as a masculine guy and still do and I have never harbored any sense of ill will or thoughts towards folks of any gender bending ways. My folks were very open minded and I was raised the same way - live and let live.

When I was a preteen...pretty young actually .....I was totally turned on to Houdini ...fascinated and turned on (but did not know what that was at the time - to be aroused). I would have my older brothers (me - youngest of three boys) tie me up and their friends and later, their girl friends would tie me up and watch me writhe to try and get loose. Sometimes they just left me in the basement trying to get loose and I almost always succeeded. One guy hogtied me really tight - rope around the neck to my ankles and wrists.... but anyway I digress. And watching old Tarzan movies where men and women are running around half naked, in peril, being chased and captured turned me on but again I had no idea what being turned on meant - I just know that when I was older and reflected back, I came to understand myself a bit better. Ever seen those movies where someone is tied at the stake or staked to the ground. Anything like that got my attention...my rapt attention Jen! I was raised in a (nonreligious) jewish household and I will even admit to you, that movies where I saw depictions of Jesus in peril ....that even did things for me (I hope you do not find that offensive, just want you to understand how my formidable years of youth were affected by the imagery).

And I can clearly remember being in maybe the 4th or 5th grade and some girl from school that I did not know that well...tackled me on the playground and just straddled me and had me pinned and was just grinning at me ear to ear with her own self satisfied pleasure while I stared up at her helpless but not wanting to be let up (ever!).

So fast forward through the years, high school, college - I always had a steady gf, I was always the alpha male type but perhaps much more erotic, sensual and a bit kinkier than them. I would sometimes do some light bondage and lots of foreplay LOTS of teasing and denial on them. It made me appear to be a good lover but it was masking something. It was what I was craving to experience. My fantasies always ran to being with an experienced dominatrix type. The internet age came about ... chat rooms and so much information available about D/s. I love to read and found some very good information online and started to understand myself MUCH better and felt much less "abnormal" for the thoughts that were in my mind. I realized that I was submissive - I guess a switch during play time but in my heart of hearts - submissive. I never admitted it to any of my gf's or lovers.

In terms of bisexuality - I have never been with another man before. But I used to (and still do) have thoughts, dreams (real vivid nighttime dreams) and fantasies about being Topped by a man or forced to do things with another sub guy by a Domme/Dom. And I can go back in my mind and think of guys that I found attractive and not be embarrassed by admitting it to myself or to you. It is not something that I seek out and not something I share with my friends or family but it is within me. I have seen the term heteroflexible. Maybe that is me. I love women. LOVE the female form in all of its glory. And I am very orally fixated. Lips make me crazy...I could stare at them all day long.

You mention becoming comfortable in your own skin. That has been my journey. Getting to that point and I am getting more and more comfortable as time goes by. Coming undone. Subspace.... being captivated by another - letting down my guard and becoming completely vulnerable is a very powerful prospect. I guess for me, much of what I crave is a total mindf*ck for lack of better words (where is my thesaurus!?). I imagine that just being understood, talked to and stared at for long minutes or hours and the briefest, slightest touch from that person who has me under their spell - well that would likely last me a lifetime.

You are a Sensualist? I find that to be a hypnotic label all unto itself!

Do I even dare go back and edit this note? I dare not for fear I will become bashful about oversharing.

Please share with me some of your experiences - positive, negative. How did you get comfortable in your skin? Are you married and if so, does your partner understand where you are in this realm? I would love to hear about your eye opener.

I really love the way you write. Your last paragraph below takes my breath away (heavy sigh). Are you a writer by trade?

ryan

PS - did I over share? Was this TMI?

ryan,

Thank you so very much for being honest with your answers. Let me state that I didn't find anything your wrote offensive in the least.

I think we all have those moments in life, that in hindsight, we realize were clues for who we would ultimately become. You being hogtied, the little girl straddling you, the feeling of wanting to be teased, excited- etc. Amazing how all those moments form our inner core, huh?

As for your sexuality, I think that we all have the possibility of being gender fluid. Given the right person, the amount of heat that he/she generates for us, and we will willingly experience a moment(s). Nothing wrong with that.

As for me, once I hit my 30's, I realized that I was okay with who I was and in the process of becoming. I have never been one for head games and in my 30's, I simply decided that I wouldn't allow myself to ever play them or be drawn into them. Once that decision was made, it freed me to simply live and let live. Life is far too short to muck about or to care what others think of you. So as long as we live honestly and openly, not trying to deliberately hurt others, it's all good.

My eye-opener happened one night while still in college. I was fooling around with my boyfriend at the time. Things got a little out of hand. We both realized how incredibly aroused we were by it and decided to simply roll with it. And while things clicked for me that night, it did take me several more years to fully grasp what it all meant. But I have no regrets at all.

I am not married. If I were, I certainly would not be on this site. I am, have always been, a one sub/man Domme/Woman. I firmly believe that the only way one can go deep in this type of relationship is to be all in. To give and take fully, openly, honestly. How can you possibly do that if you're busy messing about with multiple people?

I like that I took your breath away...

Jen

Dear Jen,

I have always been drawn to the written word and greatly appreciate that craft. I love to come across a book that will not let me look away. I recently read Tinkers and Let the Great World Spin. Both very well written and I find myself going back and reading out loud some of the sentences because of just how beautifully they sound.

Thank you for taking the time to write me back. I find you to be an immensely pleasurable person to share with - I do not have much experience with folks on this site and find you to be a rare treasure.

Warm Regards,

ryan

Naked body in the snow? Now I know you're trying to tempt me. That image, along with the fact you called yourself a pup, is seared into my brain. Give a sub an inch and he'll try to pull you that extra mile. Typical. Lol.

So you're a touch junkie (among other things)? And like to feel spacey? How soon can you get here? Seriously though, you do flatter me endlessly with praise for my writing. How will I ever live up to all that pressure? Lol.

I love watching my sub float. I love seeing the moment when he enters into that sub-space because of my touch, seeing his eyes glaze over, watch his body writhe, hear his moans, feel him tremble underneath me; love seeing him shiver because of my warm, moist breathe against his ear as I whisper all the things I am going to keep doing to him. Junkies indeed.

You want my secrets? You'll have to work to get them out of me...

Safe travels there and back. This Domme wants to continue tormenting you.

Jen