A Slow Descent Pt. 03

He opened the folder and leafed through it shaking his head. "Why do I get the feeling I've been three steps behind you the whole time?"

"I have no idea. I'm just here to help." I said with a broad smile.

After seeing Brian safely to the council chambers I drove to my office. There was nothing happening there so I went to my next appointment with a lawyer in the next town up the coast. We spent an hour together working on some documents and he promised to have then ready for me by four that afternoon. Walking back to my car I checked my messages, a picture from Paris came through. My finger hovered over the reply button but I stopped myself. I can't, I thought, there was too much I had to deal with here.

I got some takeaway and ate it at my desk back at the office as I tidied up a couple of work messages. I had one more important call to make but I procrastinated for half an hour before I summoned up the courage. Taking a deep breath I hit the speed dial number for my husband. It rang for quite some time before I heard the gruff greeting.

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you could come to the office at closing time tonight. There are some things I think we need to sort out and the sooner we get them done the better."

"I want Cindy there too." He grunted.

I wanted her there too but I didn't want Jim to know that.

"I think it's between you and me, Cindy's got nothing to do with it."

"If Cindy's not included then I'm not coming." Jim replied angrily.

"What, are you worried you might have the sudden urge to fuck somebody?"

"I've got work to do Helena. If you want to talk to somebody, talk to my lawyer."

"Alright, alright," I jumped in before he hung up. "If you need her to hold your hand, bring her along."

There was a pause and I wondered if he had disconnected.

"We'll be there at five thirty but we can't stay long. We are packing up Cindy's stuff from her house tonight while her husband's away."

"See you th..." I heard the click as he hung up without waiting for my reply.

As promised the lawyer emailed the documents to me at four. I checked through them to make sure they were what I wanted. I had to ring her back and clarify a few legal terms but in the end I was happy with the draft. Now all that was left was to wait. I unlocked my bottom drawer and lifted out a registered mail envelope with my name on it. I pulled out its contents as I'd done several times since it had come. There was a voucher for a first class return ticket to Paris and a very short note. I'm very sorry, please come and let me show you Paris.

I was about to lock up when Jim and Cindy finally arrived at five forty five. There were strained greetings before I pointed to the chairs in front of my desk. They sat down stiffly and I took my place on the other side. I'd been thinking about what I was going to say all afternoon but it was still difficult to say the words.

"Alright, um, I want us to talk this out like adults. We have all seen messy relationship break-ups, lawyers and court cases. I don't want that."

They remained silent so I continued.

"It seems that my future isn't in Coloons Bay..."

"Are you fucking off to your black bastard boyfriend?" Jim interjected.

"As I'm a 'frigid bitch' I really don't think what I'm going to do is any of your concern." I spat back.

Jim made a move to get up but Cindy restrained him.

"It can't hurt to hear what she has got to say." She pulled him back down into the seat then turned back to me. "Get on with it honey, but get to the point. We've got things to do." She rubbed Jim's leg suggestively.

Jim grinned and I felt like vomiting but bit back the bile and continued.

"Okay, I propose we split up our assets and move on. The easiest way to get a divorce is to separate for twelve months then petition the court jointly. However I think it would be best if we decided on how we split up what we own now."

"Sounds reasonable," Jim said, "what do you propose?"

"You get the family home, I get the rentals. You buy out my share of the business and we split our current loans fifty fifty."

"Not a chance," Jim hissed. "Why would I want this poxy business?"

Cindy must have kicked his ankle, he turned and looked at her with a 'what the fuck' look before her expression shut him down. That's why I wanted Cindy here, Jim might not want it but she did.

"What Jim meant to say is that it's not an equal split. You get three houses and we get one."

"But this business makes more in four months of summer than the rentals make in two years." I argued.

"And we have to pay for the business." Cindy countered.

We sat silently, I looked down at the desk in front of me. I think they were ready for my real offer but I wasn't sure.

"Maybe we should leave this to the court." Jim said pushing his chair back in preparation to stand up.

"Alright, you get the house and the business with no payment and I get the rentals. I ...I just have to get out." I blurted out hoping the tears I was forcing out seemed genuine.

Glancing up I could see that Cindy was sold. She had a triumphant look in her eye. Jim was suspicious, I suppose he knew me too well.

"What are you playing at? You love this business, you started it from scratch. Why give it up for nothing?"

"I can't stay it his town. Do you know what it's like to walk down the street and have people turn away from you?" I blubbered.

"You should have thought of that before you got jungle fever!" Jim stood and it looked like he was heading for the door.

Cindy scrambled after him, snagging his arm and dragging him to the side before whispering fiercely in his ear. I couldn't catch the conversation but I did hear a few phrases, goldmine, for me and please. They turned around, came back to the desk and sat back in the chairs.

"We... I mean I might be interested but I want it in writing."

I felt like one of those TV chefs that start their preparation for a dish then grab a bowl saying 'here's some I prepared earlier. I reached into my drawer and pulled out copies of the documents the lawyer had sent to me.

Sniffing loudly I placed them on the table. "My lawyer drew these up, they list our assets, and we just have to sign the individuals name under the asset they are getting before a witness then co-sign at the bottom."

Cindy was very keen to be the witness and to sign straight away but Jim wanted to take some time. When I suggested he take it to his lawyer he agreed then they left. I sat back in my chair, laying my head right back so I was staring at the ceiling. Was I doing the right thing? Time would tell, right now it couldn't get much worse. I was a pariah in my hometown, my children wouldn't speak to me, my ex-best friend was living with my soon to be ex-husband. What a cluster fuck. Maybe if I could pull off this deal I could make a fresh start somewhere close by.

I turned my phone off silent and saw there was a new message. It was Jane wondering if she should come into work tomorrow. I didn't feel like interacting with her or Annie so I sent back to not come in until next Monday. While I had messages open I clicked on Ezekiel's latest picture. My finger once again ached to press reply, I just couldn't.

The next day I slept in and didn't get to work until ten. I fiddled about for an hour before deciding to start clearing my desk. I figured one way or another soon it wouldn't be mine anymore. I attacked my lockable drawer first removing the bank, tax and business license details.

Ezekiel's letter slipped out of the stack of documents as I was placing them in a box. I suppressed the urge to open it and gaze at it again, instead placing it in my handbag. I took the box to the back door so it was ready to go to the car when I locked up at the close of business. Walking back into the main office I was surprised to see Jim standing in the middle of the room.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"We're ready to sign. Can you come down to my lawyer's office at lunchtime?"

So my future was set in stone with the stroke of a pen. I walked back to the office in a trance-like state only to be rudely awoken by finding the office door open. Jane was sitting at her desk while Annie and Cindy were attacking the locked drawer of my desk with a large screwdriver.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I bellowed as I closed the distance between us in three quick strides.

"What?" The girls were taken aback by my presence, Cindy recovered first.

"Out with the old and in with the new," she laughed nervously. "We thought we'd pack up your desk for you."

"The three of you can get the fuck out!" I screeched.

"But it's not your office anymore, you can't tell us what to do." Cindy stepped up so she was right in front of my face. "You just signed it away, so you get out."

"Like fuck I did, I just signed a provisional division of property agreement with my husband not with you. My name is still on the lease, I'm still the registered owner of this business with the Department of Fair Trading. Most importantly my name is still on the bank account so I sign the cheques. So get the fuck out of here before I call the police!" I thundered.

Jane was already out the door, Annie followed her quickly but Cindy hesitated until I picked up the receiver of the telephone on my desk. That was fun I thought as the door banged shut after Cindy had exited. A small victory however ultimately a hollow one. Cindy had the paperwork done to swap the lease and put her name on the business register by Friday afternoon. The bank took longer because she had to organize an overdraft. As with any sea-side tourist business the account grew fat through summer but dwindled through winter. By Spring it was always very tight.

Cindy's fervor to get me out meant I got motivated to get the rest of the titles and loans sorted out. Once that was done I settled with the owner of the property between my two where I'd pitched the development to Brian. It was just a house swap, he moved into my third house that had only been renovated the previous year. Given his house was run down, he had to give me sixty thousand to match the value of mine. The money was very handy as I no longer had an income.

In the three weeks it took me to get all my finances sorted out I'd also pitched, together with Brian, my site for an expansion of the retirement apartments. I thought it had gone well and Brian seemed positive but I still hadn't heard anymore. As I was currently unemployed I used the most of my free time to negotiate with the owners of the other three houses. They'd all agreed to terms for a sale, I was just waiting for the official go ahead. I made several attempts to get some semblance of a relationship going with my children. They would talk to me but that was about all.

I was feeling a bit down and those damn photos kept popping into my phone every morning. I was sitting on the front step of the house I was living in with a cup of morning coffee when it finally got to me.

"Fuck it," I muttered looking down at my abdomen. "He needs to know and I don't want to do this over the phone."

I marched back inside and got online. I found the airline site the voucher was for and began to look at times for flights to Paris. There was one leaving the following evening with a first class seat available do I booked it and went to pack. At four o'clock that afternoon I saw a car pull up outside and Brian got out. He skipped up the steps to the front door holding something in his hands.

I opened just as he was trying to juggle a bottle of champagne and two glasses into one hand so he could knock.

"So?" I asked expectantly.

"They love it! Your pitch sold them." He beamed as he strode in placing the glasses and bottle on a nearby table he picked me up and swung me around.

"Yeessss," I squealed as much with relief as anything.

He put me down, opened the wine and poured us both overflowing glasses.

"To the Coloons Bay Retirement Retreat!" He toasted.

We clinked our glasses and guzzled. I flopped down in a chair close by kicking off my shoes.

"What's next?" I inquired as Brian poured me some more bubbles.

"We work on the other property owners and sign some contracts. Then do some design work and approach the council."

"The other properties are easy. I've spoken to the three owners and sounded them out about prices. I think they will be easily satisfied. When do the contracts have to be signed?"

"Usually takes about a month to do all the due diligence as long as there are no hitches."

"Ohh, um, I'm flying to Paris tomorrow."

"Good for you! When will you be back?" Brian said still smiling.

"I'm not really sure, maybe ...maybe next week."

"Oh," Brian put his glass down and thought for a moment. "Ah, I think my bosses will want you to sign something before you go. They won't want to buy the other properties without yours locked in."

"Well I could come to your office in the city tomorrow before I go to the airport." I suggested.

"Not much time ..." He looked at his watch, "give me a minute."

Brian walked out the front next to his car and began dialing on his phone. I watched as he paced backwards and forwards while he spoke. He hung up and dialed another number resuming pacing as he spoke. Hanging up again he sat on the car bonnet for five minutes before his phone rang and he spoke for a short time before coming back inside.

"Right, I've spoken to the boss and to the legal department. There will be a letter of intent on my desk at midday tomorrow for you to sign before you go."

"Easy." I said relieved.

"Not so fast, my boss wants the other properties well on the way to being bought before you fly out."

"Way ahead of you." I went to my desk and retrieved a folder. "It's all here, I've negotiated and the vendors have agreed to the prices on all three ...subject to your approval of course."

I gave him the folder and he sat down put his glass down and began leafing through it.

"The contact details for each vendor and their solicitors are on the back page. Along with council lot numbers and surveyed block sizes for each property." I added watching over his shoulder.

"You have been very thorough," he closed the folder. "It all looks good but I'll have to run the numbers past the bean-counters tomorrow morning."

He picked up his glass and clink it against mine.

"Here's to a successful project, partner!"

The next day at his office I signed the contract locking me in to the development. I was just leaving his office when Brian stopped me.

"My boss is on the line," he pointed to the phone he was holding to his ear. "Could hang around for another five minutes? He wants to meet you."

I nodded and shortly after a striking woman around my age entered his office.

"Hi," she said brightly, "you must be Helena, I'm Lillian Marshall."

She held out her hand and I shook it.

"I won't hold you up Brian told me you were going to Paris today. I just wanted to compliment you on your work and let you know I'd like you to come and see me when you get back. I was very impressed with the legwork you put in on this deal and I'm always on the lookout for talented people to bring into the firm."

She was smiling brightly the whole time she spoke and I was very surprised by her effusive praise.

"Was that a job offer Mrs. Marshall?" I asked sheepishly.

"I think you could say that, and please, call me Lillian. Have a great holiday." She said shaking my hand again and walking out the door.

I turned to Brian, "is she always so nice?"

"I'll be diplomatic and say a qualified yes ...sometimes. You seem to have made quite an impression."

I said goodbye and made my way to the airport. Standing waiting in line at the security check I grabbed out my phone and opened the messages. The draft I tapped in the previous night was still there taunting me. Why couldn't I just press send? I knew why of course, I wasn't sure I would get the reply I wanted. There were only two people in front of me in the queue, it was now or never, I pressed send.

>Flying into Charles De Gaulle tomorrow night. Emirates Flight EK 075 arriving at 20.05.<

The seconds ticked by but seemed to last for minutes. I was next in the queue and the queasy feeling in my stomach was getting worse then my phone beeped.

>I'll be waiting.<

"Next," the security guard called waving me forward.

I walked forward into the unknown, was I falling deeper into the mire or was it a new beginning.

2 years later.

The black Audi nosed its way through the holiday traffic on Main Street, Colloons Bay. Behind its tinted window I looked at the familiar streetscape. Ezekiel's hand touched my leg, I looked at him and he smiled reassuringly. We hit the red light at the only traffic light in town. My old office was to the left, above it now a sign flashed, Cindy's Holiday Rentals. In my previous visits I'd been tempted to ring up and ask how much to rent Cindy for the holidays.

I looked into the back seat, Samuel Kennedy was asleep in his car seat. His favorite stuffed toy, a shark, given to him by his stepsister clutched to his chest. Next to him in a baby capsule, little Aretha was gazing back at me her little fingers hooked in the handle of the pacifier in her mouth. She was only three weeks old but was already developing her own little personality. We had wanted another name for our little girl but for an hour after her birth she had howled like a banshee. When we finally got her quiet Ezekiel had said any girl with a voice that strong had to be called Aretha.

I looked back towards the front as we started moving again. It was hard to reconcile how much my life had changed in the last two and a half years. Divorced and now remarried with two children under two. If you had have told me that back then I might have gone and jumped off one of the nearby cliffs. It was easier this time, a full time nanny and an attentive father saw to that.

Turning my head and gazing at Ezekiel my heart swelled with love for my man. When I'd walked through the arrival lounge door in Paris my hands were shaking. All the way on the plane I'd tried to work out how I was going to tell him. He saw me and opened his arms wide a big smile on his face. Once safe in his arms all my plans of playing it cool vanished and I'd blubbered like a baby after blurting out.

"I'm pregnant."

He'd just held me tighter until my crying lessened. Then he pushed me back a little so he could see my face.

"Are you sure?"

All I'd been able to do was nod my head, unable to trust my voice. He'd pulled me close again, kissing my forehead and murmuring.

"That's fantastic ...Unbelievable ...Thank you."

I'd stayed wrapped in that cocoon for my entire three month stay in France. Ezekiel had doted on me and he gave in to my every whim. Treating me and his unborn child like delicate flowers. He even took a lot of convincing that it was alright to have sex with me. Once his work was finished we went to the south of France and stayed in a villa for a month. I was starting to get quite big so we decided to head back home after that.

Home; it was a strange concept when I didn't have one anymore. My three rental properties in Coloons Bay had been flattened along with the other three on the development site. Ezekiel's home was an apartment in a converted warehouse. His neighbors were all musicians or artists who liked to party so it wasn't really a home for a young family.

We went house hunting and found a beautiful house with a backyard and pool. Ezekiel had cancelled all work or gigs to be with me. We set about making the house our home and fitting out a nursery.

Samuel Kennedy came into the world with a rush. We almost didn't make it to the hospital. I'd forgotten the pain and the stress of childbirth which was probably just as well. If I would have remembered, I may never have gone through with it. Of course in the end I had a beautiful boy and a crying, grateful, and proud father holding me and our child.