A Slow Night at the Farm

"Truck tires baby, truck tires."

"Oh."

I was excited in a perverted kinda way. No, not thinking of old Stella but calculating what I already had and if Stella's well hadn't completely dried up, I might just maybe be able to pay off the loan on ol' Betsy and start to finally make a buck or two.

By the look on the old girls face, I wasn't sure if I wasn't like the lamb being led to the slaughter.

"You sure about this, Ma'am?" I asked.

"You bet your sweet ass, cowboy," she leered.

"Maybe you wanna do this somewhere more, uh... private?"

"How sweet," she chuckled, "Nope, right here'll be fine, I used to be a stripper back in the day. I don't have nothin' to hide, honey."

"Well, it's your funeral," I concluded. Or maybe mine?

I watched and waited for Stella to assume the position she wanted. She was tryin' to slide her ass up onto a big table and had to get some help from three or four of her girls.

She opened that silk whatchamacallit she had on and I had to shield my eyes for a second from the glare. The old broad had obviously not exposed her body to any form of light for years, I've never seen that much white, and I do mean white, skin in one place.

She pulled her legs up and scooted her ass to the edge of the table, kinda like one of them gyno-malog-aful deals.

I glanced down to Willie Peter, "Sorry bout this lil' buddy."

I advanced cautiously and reminded myself why I was doing this. No guts, no glory.

I looked down at the mass of nakedness. She had all the correct parts, kinda. The two puddles of flesh on her chest had nipples and they looked sorta like titties. She had what looked like a pussy, only bigger and I ain't even gonna get started about them cottage cheese thighs.

I thought of that four hundred-pound fraulein with the hairy legs that I'd banged at Octoberfest when I was stationed in Germany. This couldn't be that bad, could it? At least Stella didn't smell like a walking yeast infection. I could do this, think of the money Powder.

That's not right either, fuck, the money wasn't the real issue. Stella's a pretty nice old broad and I had no intention of hurting her feelings. She's the one that wants this and besides, I reminded myself, I'd fucked Shawanda and I didn't even like that bitch. I made a mental note to see somebody, when I got a chance, about my gambling problem.

I turned back to Misty, "Do your magic honey, make me hard,"

Just one look from those sultry eyes did the job. The kiss only added fuel to the fire, I was as ready as I'd ever be. Misty seemed a lot more confident and qualified when she stretched the salami sweater over Willie Peter's head this time.

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I stepped into the batters box and decided to just swing away. I thrust in and hey, guess what? I was still alive; it didn't kill me after all. The next push, okay, nobody's laughin' yet.

Stella lifted her head and asked, "You sure you know where it goes? I can't feel a thing."

"Shit," I thought, "Not you too."

Shawanda appeared form nowhere, "Let me help, sugar," she took Willie by the hand and lined him up. "Okay baby, you good to go now." She leaned down over Stella and patted her shoulder, "You gonna love this, big mamma."

I tried again and this time there seemed to be some resistance but not much. I was afraid to look down, I mean shit, wouldn't you be? So I opened one eye halfway and took a peek. Yep, ol' Willie was jammed into her sluice box.

I knew it was gonna be like a train wreck. You just know that what you're lookin' at is gonna be terrible but for some unexplained reason, you have to look. Stella's tits were wobbling like two gallons of Jell-O and smacking her in the chin. The fat on her big stomach was rolling like the beginning of a tidal wave about to come crashing down and flatten a small coastal town. Oh God, the humanity.

It started with a whimper and the grew suddenly into a low guttural moan. I quickened the pace hoping it would soon all be over. A minute or so latter the sound was more like, Aiyoooo, like the bark of a single coyote calling out to the moon. Aiyoooo.

"Don't stop you bastard, fuck me you wonderful son of a bitch, Aiyoooo!"

"Goddamn it," I thought, "The shit I'll do for ol' Betsy."

I was trying as hard as I could to keep my mind off what I was doing, "Misty, have you ever seen the ocean?"

She was right there with me when she answered, "No, but I want to some day."

"How about tomorrow?" I asked as I stroked in and out.

"What are you askin', Powder?"

"I guess what I'm wondering is if after I get done banging your boss here, do you think you'd like to go see what that big lake on the left side of California looks like?"

"You mean it?" she shrieked.

"Hell yes I mean it," I said with sweat dripping off the end of my nose right into Stella's cavernous bellybutton.

"Well quit stallin' Stud, fuck the shit outta her," Misty ordered, "Get mad at that damn pussy."

With that being said, I gritted my teeth and did exactly what Misty told me, I got mad. I fucked up, down, over and sideways. I pumped hard and I bumped bellies. I tried every goddamn stupid thing I'd ever read about fuckin and a few things I'd invented on the spur of the moment. Stella had her legs wrapped tight around my ass and was trying her best to shove me all the way into her wrinkled old snatch with her heels. The more I fought, the better she liked it, and then... she coughed, sputtered and blew.

I mean she really blew. Just like a whale she squirted woman jizz clean up to my chin. I was afraid the old bat had blown a radiator hose for a second and you all know what that can be like.

Me? I was totally exhausted from an hour of hard fornication. I collapsed on top of the old broad trying to catch my breath. The next thing I knew, Stella, bless her stone cold heart, was struggling out from beneath me.

"Clean your man up Honey, and the two of you should get some sleep," Stella offered Misty.

"My Man," Misty nodded, "I like the sound of that."

When I woke up, Misty was staring at me with those mischievous eyes. She was at the foot of the bed already dressed and had the handle of her suitcase already clasped tightly in her tiny hand.

I could see by the look in her eyes that I couldn't have left her behind if I'd wanted to, which of course I didn't. After a quick shower and shave, Misty practically dragged me to the door.

Stella ambushed us before we got a chance to sneak out though.

After stuffing a wad of cash in Misty's hand she said, "Don't let lose of that man, he don't look like much now but when you get old he will."

Stella winked and hugged Misty like it was the last time they'd see each other.

"And you... you clown. If you ever... and I do mean ever, do anything to hurt this little girl I'll find you and you'll answer for it," she growled and punched me in the shoulder. Her left eye winked at me and she kissed my cheek just like grandma used to.

We crunched our way across the gravel driveway toward ol' Betsy.

"You ever drive a truck?" I asked.

"No, but I can handle a stick," she chirped.

"I'll just bet you can darlin," I chuckled and got rewarded with another slug in the shoulder.

I decided to keep my smart-ass remarks to my self for the time being and quietly loaded Misty's bag into the side compartment. I then opened the passenger door and helped my new co-driver into her seat. We had a schedule to keep but we weren't pressed for time so we took it easy and got to know each other a bit more. It seemed kind of funny, you know. She'd seen me in some pretty compromising situations for what little time we'd known each other but it didn't seem to bother Misty much.

By the time we rolled off the freeway, it was dark but Misty didn't want to wait to see the waves of the Pacific. The moon was high and full when we walked down the beach to the water's edge and we stood together as Misty took in the fresh sea air.

I guess you could say it was one of those once in a lifetime magical moments. Misty's gaze seared into my soul. We made love on the sand and uncomfortable as that can be, there wasn't another place on earth that I'd rather been right then.

"Cum with me baby, fill me up please..." she begged.

And so it happened on that salty beach. It wasn't the shot heard around the world, no, it wasn't anything like that. More like a popgun I suppose but still, it had happened. It was something I never expected to do again for the rest of my life and Misty had made me whole again.

I still didn't have much feeling down south of my belly button but I figured out that my brain had more to do with the mechanics of sex than I'd ever dreamed. Misty had mind fucked me there on the beach and it didn't matter that my butt crack was full of sand. She was the one in a million that people talk about.

Misty finally made friends with Betsy, after one transmission and a couple of clutches. We've been from ocean to ocean now and as far north as Fargo to the Keys of Florida. I have no idea what's next but the last time we stopped by the Farm, Misty asked one of the girls to give her knitting lessons. I wonder what all that's about? Well, anyway, that's about all I got to say for now so keep the shiny side up and the pedal to the metal.