A Tale of Two Christmases

I giggled, realising I could thank her for bringing Richie up right and ensuring he'd be a thoughtful, generous lover, even if he generally didn't know what other people wanted. But I wasn't going to bring up the subject of sex again!

When Richie reappeared, just after Andy, his eyes were smiling, despite his face being blank as usual. "Mum likes you."

"Oh?"

Suze yawned, waved, and went upstairs, presumably to bed.

"Mm." Richie was as monosyllabic as me.

"Because I've fucked you?"

Andy coughed.

"Oh, that helps, I'm sure. No, like, you just fit in really well. You too, Andy. You don't make us feel weird in our own home, y'know."

"I think I do. But thank you. It's been a really lovely Christmas. Really, it has!" as he looked disbelieving. "Really nice, being welcomed into your family..." I sniffled.

I blamed the drink, of course, but Richie wasn't fooled. "Your dad still abroad, then?"

"Mm-hm."

"Your mum?"

"I never told you, did I? You were busy doing your statue impression. Mum and her latest bloke slash dealer created a gas leak, which the fire crews had to deal with for hours. I went to the pub with all my stuff, then called Andy. He said he was collecting me and taking me to his."

"A fine knight in shining armour. Land-Rover. Whatever. Is your house OK?"

"The pub landlord texted me the next morning to say it looked all right. I haven't heard from Mum."

That squawk was Richie biting off the phrase, "But it's Christmas!" I supposed I couldn't complain -- I hadn't contacted her either. I refused to go first. She was meant to be the parent, damn it!

He'd sobered up a bit before chatting to his mum, part of a familiar routine. Now Richie knocked back another port and poured me one. "Fancy rounding off Christmas with some totally non-family dirty sex?"

"Not that dirty. I refuse to let any of your family overhear!"

"Spoil all their fun." He wasn't serious. "Come on, let me see if your cunt tastes of booze."

I can't recall if it did or didn't, but he certainly checked very thoroughly. I can't remember whether his cock tasted at all different, either. All I know was it was a great way to end the day. Last year I'd had Ali and Andy for Christmas, this year I had Richie. It felt pleasingly symmetrical. I supposed Andy and I would return to his place in a day or two. Before new year, at any rate.

Boxing Day was a more relaxed version of Christmas. No-one needed to cook -- we all grazed on leftovers. We read, drank, found Mrs Pardoe could hold her own at Trivial Pursuit, and managed a more competitive game of Monopoly now Andy and I knew what we were doing. Steve went down the pub to play pool with friends and football when it stopped raining, while Richie and Suze and their mum visited the dad.

"They hope to send him home, day after tomorrow," Suze told me excitedly. "I can't wait!" She skipped across the room.

"Watch the telly you want now, then," Richie warned. He explained, "You don't get in the way of what he wants. Doesn't go well. Thank fuck for recordings."

We stayed up late that night, introducing Richie's siblings to poker, played for peanuts. Andy wiped the floor with us all, but I improved rapidly. It was around 2am when we crashed. No sex for anyone.

On the 27th, Richie's mum went alone to the hospital. Her husband was well enough to be hacked off with the place. We played more sleepy games, ate more cheese, ensured a portion of dinner was saved for their dad. All very relaxing. Until the charge nurse phoned.

Mr Pardoe was insisting on discharging himself that evening. The hospital would prefer he stayed another day, but wouldn't object, assuming he had a home to go to, with people to assist him. Richie offered to help his mum retrieve the 'stubborn git'.

Said stubborn git's first question, once Richie had helped him inside, was "Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?"

It turned out no-one had mentioned Andy and I were staying, not considering it a fact worthy of communication. Richie explained. His dad snorted, and started searching for the Christmas programmes he'd missed. As promised, within minutes he was shouting answers at University Challenge and abusing contestants for their ignorance. Richie joined in. So did I -- with a couple answers, not the disdain. Richie's dad nodded at me. "Sleeping down here, are you? Fine. You know where the food is by now, I expect."

I assured him I did indeed know where the food was. I didn't bother saying I'd put most of it there myself.

His wife beckoned Suze into the hall. Suze beckoned me, a moment later.

"Dad needs a bed to himself. So mum should have my bed, next door. So I guess I need to join you." She spun on the spot. "Sorry to cramp your style," she muttered, awkward again.

"Why don't you have Richie's bed, and Andy join us down here?"

"Hm. Maybe. If Steve's BO isn't too bad."

It wasn't. Andy threatened to frog-march Steve to the bathroom if needed, and had kept the room aired. While Suze changed the sheets, Richie and Steve helped their dad up the stairs and into bed, squeezing his hands and shoulders, wordlessly betraying how glad they were to have him safely back home.

Their mother confirmed she had all the medication and items he needed. Suze and Steve went to bed. Andy and his rucksack looked at me and Rich.

"Where am I to sleep, then, eh?"

"With us, duh. We ain't kicking you out to the Land Rover." Richie answered part of Andy's question.

"Sure, we'll head north in the morning." Andy rephrased his question, seeing as Richie had missed the real point. "That airbed is for two, aye? I don't want to be the gooseberry."

"You might be more comfortable on the sofa for actual sleeping," I agreed. "Before that? How much don't you want to see?"

It dawned on Richie what Andy was really asking. "Oh. Laures said you two had kinda evolved beyond fucking. But, do you still like watching? That's the question."

Richie remembered when Andy had first watched me having a strip-wash at the camp site. Andy had stayed in the trees, Richie had obligingly washed me very carefully, and only told me later that Andy had seen everything. More recently, Andy had often just watched me and Ali together. More rarely, me and Rich, because he wasn't interested in Richie at all, but would overlook the guy if it meant he got to ogle my naked body.

Andy chuckled. "Up to Laura. Just because I also act like a dad to her doesn't mean I suddenly don't like looking at her tits."

I nodded. "The advantage of creating your own family, like adopting Andy here, is you don't have to worry about rules like incest. I'm just not getting in the way of his future relationships. If he wants to wank while thinking of me still, that's no problem at all."

The drink was making us all more open than usual. Richie replied, "I get you. It's been good, having him here being all... organised, and driving, and dad-like, while mine's been out of operation."

"Well, then, hen. In that case, in a totally non-creepy way: come here my girl, let's get your baps out, and I'll enjoy them and your face while he gives you a good seeing-to." Andy gave a rare big smile. "There's nothing more gorgeous than her face when she's gantin' tae get poked!"

"Does that mean, 'desperate to get fucked'?" Richie asked politely. He was never content to figure out words from context.

I snapped, "Of course it does, you daft muppet! So are you going to oblige, or what?"

"Suppose I could," he teased.

"Don't force yourself. I could just put on a show for Andy, you know. I packed my vibrator in my bag, thinking I'd only have myself to play with over the holidays."

"Come on, mate. Help me strip her off." Richie sighed, loudly, for comic effect. "I suppose it would be too noisy to give you a sound spanking."

Once Andy had removed my clothing on my top half, I turned to stick my tongue out at Rich.

"Hold the thought," he said equably.

Andy gave my breasts a quick pat, then decided to sit back on the settee, looking but not touching. Yes, we'd moved beyond a sexual relationship. Depending on how you defined sex, of course.

"I bet Jill's got great tits under those fleeces," I told him, to encourage his thinking along such lines. He went red, as if already thinking exactly that.

"Right. Not wanting to subject him to owt he don't wanna see, so you get on hands and knees, lookin' at him," Richie ordered.

"Aye, that's a great sight! Give us a shoogle!"

I grinned. I swayed from side to side, making my hanging breasts shake. I knew they looked good like this, and that Andy would love it.

"Take it away, Rich! Show us her bahookie!"

"Yes, he means arse." I undid my jeans so the annoying pedant could get to the right parts.

"Eh, Laures? Which hole d'you want?"

"I want it good and hard. Standard, please."

"Oh, you've been doing her up the arse, have you?" I couldn't believe that was news to Andy. He must just be commenting for effect.

"I swear, the worst thing about non-monogamy is your partners talking about you when they're supposed to be fucking you!"

"I'm not," Andy objected.

"You're distracting him. Still counts."

"Keep your hair on! You want condoms, it takes a minute, you know. Fuck. Getting another out now. Not as sober as I might be. Least I'm rock-hard still, looking at your bum all ready and waiting and dripping..."

"OK, OK, we don't need a running commentary!"

I should have kept my mouth shut. Ongoing commentary was what I got.

"Aw, aye Laura, look at you! Hair over your shoulder, turnin' round to him and gagging for it! I couldn't be a prouder daddy..."

"Yeah, mate, you've made her into a happy sexy thing, you caring for her and all. Not gloomy about Christmas break now, are ya?"

I had to concede I was not at all gloomy, with his long fingers pushing my pussy open, thumb teasing my clit, and Andy facing me in pleased appreciation. 'Happy sexy thing' pretty much summed me up.

When Richie started to impale me on that great thick cock of his, I really couldn't get any happier. Being stretched round his entire girth, then forced open to accommodate his entire length, was exquisite pleasure, but my brain had already reached a very happy place. My body was just catching up.

I was mindful of the thin walls, just like at college, and choked back the wild screams I wanted to make. Roll on summer, and finding somewhere deserted in the countryside! Jaw clenched shut, I moaned as I rocked against Richie's balls, his wiry hair against my bum feeling filthy as ever, the flaps of his trousers reminding me he was still dressed, I was naked, his whole family were just upstairs...

Amazing hot sex. Eventually I had to bury my mouth in the bedding, to ensure I didn't yell. I looked up at Andy.

"Oh, yeah, hen! Such a sexy face..."

He had his hand over his crotch, still clothed. He couldn't take his eyes off mine. "So good. So lovely. So proud," he murmured.

I liked knowing I'd made his cock get that hard. I guessed he was trying to hold off until later.

Richie leaned forward, then slightly to the side. He'd learned that hit a particular spot, which made me collapse on a bed and whimper happily. Today was no exception.

"Yeah, Laura. Sweet. You dirty tart, begging for my dick. Wanting it hard and fast. Yeah," Richie panted, finally lost for words as blood ran away from his brain. "Yeah. Feel so sweet, look so dirty, looking up at your daddy, turning him on..."

Andy's arm was in front of my mouth, helping muffle my ecstatic squeaks. Warm, strong, hairy, his familiar scent of man with a hint of tobacco.

Too soon, Richie came violently inside me, a pair of final thrusts bumping against my pelvis. I'd gone floppy by that time, his rag doll to fuck as he wished, knowing he'd do it good and hard like I loved. Ah, this was the life!

"Aw, man, Laura! You gallus wee girl! So proud. You're so good for daddy..."

Andy's joy in my ecstasy, plus his words, normally used for kinky sex, but here meaning love and caring as well as sexiness, made it a perfect fuck.

"I love you, daddy..."

"Yup, he's a great daddy," Richie agreed as he flopped down on top of me. "What? He's not my dad! No-one's called the gaffer Daddy since Steve was two. Totally different."

"Aw. I'm so proud of ye both. Moment."

Andy sprang up, running to the downstairs loo.

"He'll be rubbing one out," Richie said with satisfaction. "Thinking of you, maybe that Jill..."

"Congratulations," I told him. "Ah, that was great. Even if my cervix'll be bruised for a week."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Like you guys said, I was gagging for it. Less than a week until I'm back at college. I'm looking forward to chilling out with Richie and Jill, chopping back foliage in the woods, helping with repairs, just hanging out somewhere where I'm welcome."

"You're always welcome here. Really. Sure, we all need our alone time, Dad is grouchy to everyone, but there's always a sofa or bit of floor for you. Or the tent in the garden, come the summer." He smiled. "Don't tell her, but your cooking is better than Mum's."

"You've just got spoilt by fancy middle-class food and nancy Southern ways," I told him, secretly appreciating the compliment. "Oof! I need to sleep!"

"Will yez be warm enough between us?" Andy asked, looking much more content. I put on a layer, mostly for modesty if anyone wandered in in the early morning.

"You could have just jizzed here," Richie said.

"He did it all over the Christmas tree," I grassed him up.

"Aye? That why some o' those baws look extra snowy?"

I checked. Some balls indeed were extra white and cloudy.

"Yeah. Rich, that's minging!"

He shrugged. "They'll dry up before we put them away on the fifth."

"Disgoostin'. Just as well you want to stay single," Andy retorted.

"Guys! Shut it!"

They let me sleep. Richie and I had had a few restless nights, and were probably sleep-deprived beforehand from a term at college.

I even got a lie-in the next morning. So when Andy and I returned up north later that day, I felt I'd actually had a good and merry Christmas. For the second time ever,

That evening, we sat around watching TV and reading. Jill had made leftovers into a beef stew which expanded to feed everyone for two days, thanks to simmering more and more herby dumplings in it. She was certainly smilingly cheerful at Andy, in a way women only do to men they're interested in. Couldn't blame her -- Andy was hot, if you didn't mind a wiry energetic physique. His brown eyes were gorgeous. Hm...

Jill informed us that on the 31st, she was having a small party. Probably only about twelve people. "Let's face it, we have plenty of beds for folk to doss down in!"

If there was a party, then Richie's idea of mistletoe would be most fitting. The next day, after a physical morning rooting out rogue rhododendrons from the broad-leafed woodland -- a pleasant change, after days of sitting on my arse, overeating and knocking back the booze -- I wandered towards the nearby village. I didn't expect the single shop there to sell mistletoe, and it didn't. The garden centre next door, however, held promise.

"Mistletoe? No, love. We hardly had any, what wi' it being an endangered species these days. Of course, we've got some plastic sprigs of it."

"That'll do nicely. It'll keep for next year!"

"That it will, lass. Have a good one. Hope it works for you!"

"It's not for me! Trying to get a couple together..."

"Ah. I wish them all the best. Mind how you go, now."

Over the next two days I decided I really liked Jill and her calm competence. The sort of reliable, generous type people called 'the salt of the earth'. More relevantly, she and Andy got on very well, her boosting his confidence and encouraging his studies. This place on the edge of the Peak District suited him. Just had to see if they could both get over their shyness. Jill's sister confirmed she hadn't been in a relationship for a couple years.

"Married to this place, she is!"

It was a beautiful setting, and did great work with the children and occasional adults who visited. One could have worse relationships. Look at my parents, for example. I'd messaged Mum to see if she was OK. No answer.

I found Blu-Tack and stuck the mistletoe firmly to the door-frame between the kitchen and lounge. Jill's friends and colleagues appeared. We indulged in mulled wine and chat, music on in the background. At one point, I saw someone point out the mistletoe to Jill. She pursed her lips, as if hiding a smile.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" We chanted along with Wogan on the telly. "Happy New Year!"

Everyone kissed everyone else on the cheek. Was Andy particularly enthusiastic with Jill? Hard to say. He did ensure everyone sang through two verses of Auld Lang Syne, hands joined only for the second verse, before lack of knowing the words caused the voices to fade.

Finally, Jill stood near Andy and the doorway. "Look up there!"

Andy stopped, and looked awkward.

Jill said, "I think someone put it there on purpose. Do you think it was a good idea?"

"It wasn't me!"

"No. But do you think we ought to embrace tradition?"

Or just embrace, as Andy finally cottoned on. His kiss on her lips was chaste, his mouth closed. I despaired of the man! Then he spoke into her ear.

I couldn't decode the words. But it must have been something along the lines of "Let's go somewhere more private".

They didn't return for a while. By the time they did, the fireworks from the city had stopped.

In the morning, I noticed small changes. Jill and Andy let their hands brush together when passing each other in the kitchen. Their knowing smiles were bigger and more frequent. And that night Andy sought me out, asking my blessing if he embarked on a normal monogamous relationship.

"Absolutely!" I told him.

He changed the subject, confirming I'd be welcome here for Christmas or holidays in future, as long as he lived there. "Think of it as a home."

"Thanks. 'Daddy'." I hugged him tight. Chaste, like any grown-up daughter might. "Can I still call you that?"

He meant so much to me, I hoped he wouldn't have a problem with the honorific. Even with its kinky overtones.

He squeezed me tight. "You're a daughter to make any man proud. And I got to skip the nappies and potty training and sleepless nights. Happy to always be your family, Laura. Don't you forget it."

His words touched my heart. It was a connection way more important than mere sex.

"Sorry I don't got the money to keep you in the style you've been accustomed. Not that you're not able to support yourself."

"Hey, the biological father is useful for something!" His standing order would stop in August. I would be on my own, financially. Having this place as emergency housing, a safety net, meant more than I could say.

I heard Andy later, refusing to move into Jill's apartment. "I know, but I'm wanting to be cautious. I need to stay here for eighteen months, to get my degree finished. So I don't want to be rushing into things." He gave a small laugh. "That's no' to say I'm not most willing to visit your rooms, even stay the night, ye ken..."

She clearly understood, ushering him towards her flat. Good for him!

She pulled me aside the next day. "Don't panic if Andy isn't in his room tonight. He may be in my part of the house. But don't you worry, pet! You're always welcome here. Even when we're full, we can allus make up a wee bed for you, love."

I figured, amused, that I'd acquired an honorary step-mum. At some point we'd have to explain that to her!

A bunch of delayed text messages arrived.

Sanj: Happy New Year!

Lindsey: Happy New Year! See you next week!

Adrian: HNY gorgeous. May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

And more typical well-wishes. Some were less typical.