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Click here"Let me explain!" his grandfather demanded gently.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoJust read part 2 of Mafia story and liked it. Like this one as well.
Not sure how he's a genius and a great fighter but gets beaten up my his drunk dad though. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Rasmatalmost 8 years agoBut there are many stories on this site with far more and far worse errors. This story promises more 'STORY' than most, judging by this first segment. Keep writing. I'll keep reading. Five stars for A very good beginning.
lonelyQuadalmost 8 years agoi read your critics and they are correct. there are glaring mistakes as in my comment but you have imagination that brings the reader's imagination to participate with your story... keep writing and learning and get some editing help. You might be a real writer.
Anonymousalmost 8 years agoWhy are you posting a story that obviously you have not bothered to re-read your self, or get edited. The developing plot appears to be good. The story is difficult to read because of so many grammar mistakes. If the main character is suppose to have skills to kick ass; why would he allow his drunk ass father knock him around. Looking to see improvement in chapter two.
