Abasement Of An Aristocrat

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Her Ladyship's losing at class warfare.
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It's not every day you get to work for a genuine TV celebrity is it? I should be thankful.

"I know you're a Neanderthal without a brain, but do you think we could please finish this section today?"

She's probably been ordering the scum about all her life. Sounds like it. I'm not too sure what a Neanderthal is. I don't reckon it was a compliment though. She's going to find out a bit later on how much brains I've got. Maybe a bit more than her. Posh cow...

"I'll do my very best ma'am"

"You do, of course, know what you're doing? Do I need to fetch some paper and a crayon and draw some pictures for you?"

"No thank you, ma'am".

Fair play. I was lucky to get community service, very lucky. Even being here getting treated like shit by Lady NastyBitch is still preferable to going down again. Sometimes there isn't much in it though. Still, if she gets on the phone to that fucking copper, I will go down. And we both know it. When you see her on telly every night, you'd never know what an horrible cow she is. I don't care what she looks like...

Because I used to be a landscape gardener, they sent me up here. To Lord Hooray Henry and his famous bitch wife's estate. I'm restoring an Edwardian rose garden. The National Lottery's paying for all this. It's not particularly hard work. It's just horrible taking shit off her all day. Sat there in her lawn chair like a fucking slave master or something. All she needs is the whip. Now there's a thought...

"Are you actually capable of fully closing your mouth?"

It wasn't this bad to start off with. Then there was the little accident. It wasn't even my fault. She decided that it was though. She's been talking to me like this ever since. Three weeks now. Wasn't even my bastard fault...

I don't care what she says today though. Today's going to be a good day. Bit of revenge. She can say whatever. I'll just smile. Let's see, ten now. I think I'll wait till half four, then I'll make my move. Then it's game, set and match to me. Can't fucking wait...

I knew I was really lucky to get community service for what I did. I had no idea how lucky though. Not until last night. I should teach her a few things about discretion. I'm going to enjoy rubbing this bitch's nose in it. At half four. Fucking roll on...

"Something amusing you Lennie?" She's caught me smiling like a Cheshire cat, thinking about what I'm going to do later. Why the fuck does she keep calling me Lennie? She knows my fucking name. She's just winding me up. Joke's going to be on her though...

"No ma'am, just thinking about football. Leeds won on Saturday. That's my team, ma'am"

"I'm not even vaguely bloody interested. And I didn't tell you to stop working. Get on with it. You're not here to chat."

See what I mean? All the time she's like this. Her personality is that bad, it almost cancels out her looks. And she does look good. Fair play to the posh cow. Classy. There's no doubt about it. A thoroughbred. She's probably about forty odd. Those horse riding trouser things she wears could have been sown on. Only a bird that's eaten posh expensive food all her life can keep a figure like that. Not an ounce of fat on her. Face isn't bad either. Not bad at all... Her all year round sun bed tan is a nice little bonus. I can't fucking wait. I can hardly contain myself in fact...

"Could we please get a move on?"

"Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am"

There was another bloke up here with me. Dave, a nigger from Bradford. He was all right. Got done for stealing a credit card. She wasn't as bad then. Before the incident. Which was his fucking fault. I got the blame though. Now I'm Lennie the Neanderthal. Dave's finished up now. Gone back to mugging and crack dealing probably. Decent bloke though, we had a laugh. I just wish he'd owned up. Still, can't have everything can you?

I'm just about to finish my afternoon break. I'm getting well excited. It's nearly time. I have actually been working really hard today. Shifting flagstones about. Fucking about with those edge-cutters. Here she comes, back to her throne. She's not going to be looking down her nose at me for much longer now though. I'm getting that big match buzz just thinking about it...

I'm slouched in my chair. I let out a burp as loud as I can to wind her up.

"I've told you before, you bloody oaf! You must say excuse me afterward!"

"Sorry ma'am"

"So you bloody well should be. Your break time's over get back to work. And close your mouth, you gormless idiot!"

I have a look round. It is a really secluded part of the grounds. Nobody about. Good...

"Didn't you hear me, get off your lazy behind and get back to work!"

I stay sat down, nice and relaxed. I light another cigarette. I keep my eyes on the floor.

"Why don't you go and fuck yourself?" I say it quiet, just loud another for her to hear.

"What! What did you just say to me you thug?"

She stands up. She's coming over. Come to daddy your Ladyship... I look up at her face. Her eyes are mental, like her head's about to explode, she's that angry. I stay relaxed on the chair. She stops about six feet away, just as she's about to start up again...

"I was over here last night. I brought my mate Darren's cam-corder with me"

That's shut her up. I had a feeling it would. A flicker of apprehension flashes onto her face, then she composes herself.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Get up and get back to work. Now!"

I'm just looking at her. I'm trying not to piss myself laughing. Revenge...

"I was over in your gazebo thing. I got the whole thing on tape. Every minute of it"

She's trying to stare me down. Trying to work out if I'm telling the truth or not. I am telling the truth. I stare straight back at her. She's beautiful when she's angry. And she's really angry.

"You're lying""

No I'm not. I look right into her eyes, knowing I've got her right where I want her. I think the message is getting through...

 

"You're a lying fucking peasant fucking scumbag!"

 

She should keep her voice down. When posh birds swear like that it's really sexy...

"Am I?"

She looks around. Nobody can see this. She talks slowly and firmly:

"Now you listen to me, you fucking oaf... You will get up off you're filthy, lazy arse and get back to work, or I will be on the phone to DCI Cooper in a split second. You'll be in prison where you belong, before your feet even touch the ground. Do you understand?"

I just stay sat down. Chilling out on my chair.

"I said do you fucking understand?" She screams it at me. She's lost it. Game set and fucking match. Chalk up another victory for the Service Crew. I love it...

I get my mobile out of my pocket. Hold it up for her.

"Use my phone if you want. It will save time"

I'm grinning like I'm on E. She deserves this. No doubt about it...

She looks at me warily, but you can tell her resolve's gone. She's probably trying not to shit in those trousers. She motions towards the gazebo, or whatever you call it. She wants to talk without any witnesses. I think back to last night... I don't fucking blame her...

Here we are then, windows all round, open doorway, couple of benches, mouse shit on the floor. Where I come from this would be a shed. Plain and simple. A fucking gazebo?

"I'll buy the tape off you. How much do you want?"

"It's not really a tape. I think you call them cartridges—"

"JESUS CHRIST! HOW MUCH FOR THE FUCKING CARTRIDGES?"

I'm feeling the sheer blissful joy of beating the bitch. She's been talking to me like something that's fallen out of a dog's arse for weeks. Now I'm in charge...

"You're not having it. You're not having any of the copies either"

She looks at the floor. She's actually trying not to cry! I can't believe it. This is even better than I thought it would be. She's caved in. She's beaten.

"How much do you want?" She has to stifle a sob to get the words out. She can't look me in the eye...

"Take your clothes off. Slowly"

She looks up into my eyes. She is crying now, "Oh God no... Anything but that... Please don't, I'm begging you...please"

"Do as you're told"

She's looking at the floor again. She's still begging and pleading, but so quietly it's almost to herself, "please don't, please don't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the things I've said, please don't—"

I slap her across the cheek with my open right hand, just a tap. She shrieks like she's been shot or something. Not used to discipline, this one...

Her hands go up to her top. She starts to gently pull it upwards. I'm really getting excited now. I've earned this. Her little cream top hits the floor...

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * * * *

For American Readers:

"Bird": woman

"National Lottery":millions of pounds from the proceeds of our lottery go towards improving and restoring sites of cultural and historic interest.

"Service Crew": A reference to the "Leeds Service Crew", an organised gang of young males from the Leeds/Yorkshire area, followers of Leeds United Football Club, who have been engaging in serious hooligan activities for the last twenty years.

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5 Comments
pheobecharmedpheobecharmedabout 11 years ago

i really liked this. got me hot. and definatly wanting more can't wait.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 20 years ago
why did you stop?

keep on going.....please!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 20 years ago
Wanting more

Love your style -- hope there's much more to come.

kurtstilldeadkurtstilldeadabout 20 years ago
You B"*&$*D!

I cannot believe you stopped it there limey!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 20 years ago
need more!

fantastic so far, very English, but I need the rest as soon as possible!

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