About Dick Size and Cuckolding

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A woman's perspective on the size of a man's dick.
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Since my last essay about How To Have a Successful Cuckold Relationship was such a smashing success, and since most of the men who commented acknowledged that the were 'small' in the dick department, I thought it might be appropriate to talk a little about this subject.

So let me first do a little house cleaning. My husband and I practice a cuckold relationship, and have done so for the last 11 years. We have been married for 21 years, so I am comfortable in saying that we have a good, working relationship. Let me also say that I am completely faithful to my husband, in-so-far as the issue of 'us' is concerned. Yes, I have sex with other men. Yes, my husband is well aware of it. Yes, he participates in that he watches me and my lover having sex.

I once saw a picture of a t-shirt that had this question that I thought was very meaningful to Mark and I. It asked, "Is it still cheating if my husband watches?" My response would be no, it is not. Cheating implies hiding, something that one doesn't want another to find out about. For Mark and I, we get off on the knowledge that the other knows. It turns us both on, excites us, thrills us, makes us lust more for each other. Is that so wrong? I am happy to let you judge for yourself as to whether or not you are interested in such things for yourself. That said, give me the liberty to do that which is right for my husband and myself. We like and enjoy it. If you don't, so be it, then don't practice a cuckold relationship.

So, now to the subject at hand. Does the size of a man's dick matter?

The answer to that question is complicated. For some women the answer is a resounding yes and for others it is no. But I will tell you this, all women, ALL, care about the size of a man's dick. You might be asking yourself: How can you possibly know what 'all' women think about this subject? Well, the answer to that is easy. Think of it this way, if a man has absolutely no dick whatsoever, not even a nub, does he still have a dick? There you go, dick size matters.

This said, any woman will tell that any man can get her off if he knows what he is doing with his hands or tongue. A finger, in most cases, is smaller than a dick. If a finger can get a woman off then most likely a small dick can do so as well. If the man who has a small dick knows what he is doing.

For the purpose of full disclosure let me say that my husband has a small dick. For half of my marriage to him his size mattered little to me. Yes, I missed the 'full' feeling I got from my past lovers, but I was able to manage just fine and had (and still have) wonderful orgasms with him. A good lover is more than his dick, much more. A good lover thinks of their partner, this goes for women as well. My husband is the best lover I have ever had. Why? Because he has a large cock? No! It is in spite of the fact that he has a small dick.

I can honestly say that my husband is the best lover I have ever known. The reason he is the best is because he has to be. Sound strange? Maybe, at least until you think about it. Look at it this way, a man who has a small dick must force himself to become adept at other forms of pleasure. Oral, patience, foreplay, teasing, mental, and everything else. Because he has a small dick he learns about these things, practices them, masters them. And because of this he is a superior lover than the man who never thinks about these things because he has a big cock.

Oh, a big cock is inferior? Well, sometimes! From a woman's perspective there is nothing worse than a man who has a beautiful, big cock who is a terrible lover. A woman will look at a man who has a big cock as being advantaged, and he is. She wants the man with a big cock to be patient, cognizant of her desires and needs. Just because you have a big cock does not mean you know what the hell to do with it.

But all things being equal, most women would prefer a larger cock. Although, to be sure, if she happens to prefer anal sex over vaginal then she might actually prefer the small dick over the large. At least in most cases she would.

For me, I prefer a large cock over a small dick. Yeah, yeah, a 'size queen' you say. Demean me if you will, but why should I lie to you? And I am not alone in my thoughts in this matter. Studies have shown that the average size of a man's dick is 5 ½ - 6 inches. My husbands dick is just under 4 inches. So yes, he has a small dick. Do you think he is embarrassed? Should he be ashamed? Is it impossible for him to please a woman sexually? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO! And I love him all the more because of his self-confidence.

Even so, I still prefer the feeling of fullness when having sex. My husband understands this, appreciates it, and he desires it himself. My husband is an unselfish lover, willing to give me that which I need and desire most, even if is not with him.

Something my husband said to me once makes a lot of sense to me, and I would like to share it with you now. Mark told me that he loves Italian food, likes Mexican food, and can't stand Moroccan food. What does this have to do with dick size and cuckolding? Simple, it is a matter of 'taste.' Mark loves Italian food, I love big cocks. Mark likes Mexican food, I like his small dick. Mark dislikes Moroccan food, I dislike bad lovers, no matter the dick size. Understand?

So here we are, at the crux of the matter. Wives who cuckold their husbands, with their knowledge and approval. I have to say, most of the couples I know that play in this realm do not have husbands with small dicks. It is just that their husbands enjoy watching their wives with other men.

I once asked a friend of mine whose husband has a rather large cock why they play with cuckolding. Up until that point I had made the silly assumption that all couples who live this lifestyle have men with small dicks. I was new at this, had only been cuckolding my husband for less than a year, so please forgive me my ignorance at the time. But still, I had assumed that that women who cuckolded their husbands did so because the man was small. She told me that they played this way because it turned them on to do so.

Simple when you think about it. Just because a guy has a monster cock does not mean that he isn't interested in playing. Good lovers come in all sizes, small to large. The point is sexual stimulation, sexual titillation, smoking hot sex that pleases both partners.

By now, if you are a man with a small dick reading this, you might be thinking me a prig, or worse. Fine, judge me if you will. I like what I like. I love the music of Greenosophy, you may like Heavy Metal. I love Italian food, you love Moroccan. I love big cocks, you love big tits. Wait! Did I just equate my preference for big cocks with yours of big tits? Yup, sure did. Preferences are just that, preferences. We each have our own. Some men love skinny women, some prefer the Marilyn Monroe type. Some women love muscled men, some prefer the hunny-bear. To each their own.

So what are we women and men to make of this? Does the size of a man's dick matter? Of course! Does it matter in the sense of having a cuckold relationship, definitely not. Cuckolds, like all men, come in all shapes and sizes, all races, all creeds. The funny thing is that you can't stereotype a cuckold. I have two black couples where the woman cuckolds the man (neither man is particular large by the way, they are perfectly average in size). Some cuckolds have small dicks like my husband. Most, by far, are average in size. Some are large. All are stimulated by watching their wives having sex with other men.

Not all women who cuckold their husbands are searching out large cocks like myself. Some are, in fact, looking for smaller men to enjoy anal sex, or whatever it is that excites them and their husbands. But all successful cuckolding relationships have the same thing in common, an understanding between the husband and wife, a commitment to each other. Without fail, those who are successful in this lifestyle will never do anything that would hurt the other. Most of us set up boundaries that are not to be crossed, and this is very helpful in keeping the relationship on solid ground.

For my husband and I one of the boundaries we have is that the man must have a larger cock than my husband has. This is what we both desire, it turns us both on, fulfills each of us. He gets off on seeing his wife stretched, pleasured. I get off on my husband seeing me stretched, pleasured. We both get off on the same things, if for different reasons. Mark is turned on hearing me moan as the large cock enters me, I am turned on when I feel the large cock enter me. Good for both, win-win.

And while I am thinking about this let me put this point out. Just because a couple have a cuckold relationship does not mean that the husband is celibate during the encounter. In fact, most couples that I know partake in threesomes, just with two males and one female. The wife enjoys having two cocks at the same time instead of just one. I have asked my husband to do this, but he says he is a watcher. That is fine, but still I would love to suck on his small dick while feeling my lovers big cock thrusting deep into me. But I must allow him to have control over himself, it is only right.

Also, please do not think that I forget about my husband while I am enjoying a nice, fat cock. I don't. He is always there, front and center in my mind, even when I am having an orgasm. I love looking at him, watching him masturbating his small dick while I am creaming on a nice, big cock. Almost always I have a more powerful orgasm when I do.

Secondarily, my husband is never left out of the fun. Depending on his mood at the time we will do all sorts of different things once I have worn out my lover. Sometimes Mark wants to dip his small dick into my well fucked pussy, sometimes he wants a blow-job. And if I happen to be with one particular lover, one we trust enough to not use condoms, Mark will almost always want to go down on me after he has ejaculated. I love these times, it shows me how much Mark approves of our lifestyle. It proves to me he cares about pleasuring me. Men do this all the time as well. For you guys out there, ever told a woman that her swallowing your sperm proves her love for you? Well?

A very close friend of mine whose husband also has a small dick once asked me about how Mark and I manage the cuckold lifestyle. You see, she was like me in this regard, she desired big cock sex. I told her that she effectively has three choices:

1. Be honest with her husband and let him know what she is thinking and why she is thinking it.

2. Hold it in, don't tell him anything and suffer the consequences. Usually involves cheating.

3. Lie to yourself and to your husband, saying everything is perfect and will be okay.

To me the choice is obvious, be honest. What have you got to lose? If you are honest as to your wants and desires, this also allows him to do likewise. While there may be difficult times ahead (what man wants to hear that his wife wants to fuck other men who have larger dicks than he has), it is worth it in the end. Besides, if you value honesty in a relationship, why would you hold anything back? Especially so those things that matter most, and little matters more than ones sexuality. And if you are honest, then you too should allow him to be honest as well. He may hate the idea, never consider such a thing.

That is fine, trust me it is. At least this way you both will always know that more in the bedroom is desired, so find a solution that you can both agree on. Perhaps it will be a large dildo, or maybe having your husband going down on you after he has ejaculated, or any other myriad of things couples can do that don't involve others. But at least now you can find a solution. Otherwise, you are just living a lie and hiding things from each other, and to me that sucks more than being honest. One who lies to themselves is the worst of all liars, because they only deceive themselves. Wretched things.

To complete my thought on the subject at hand, allow me to say this. Big cocks are more sexually stimulating, as a whole, than small or average dicks. This said, there is nothing better than to feel my husband enter me after I have been with one of my lovers. Yes, I am more open, but my husband loves that feeling and so do I. Not only this, but I also love looking at a man, standing naked before me, hard, big, excited. I juice each and every time. This is my preference, this is my choice, this is my desire, my need. You do not have to agree, that is your choice, your preference, your desire and your need. To each their own.

And now please allow me to get up on my soapbox and tell you this: Just because you have no interest in something does not mean that nobody should be allowed to do it. I don't smoke, so should I be the arbiter of all smoking? Who am I to tell a smoker that they shouldn't be allowed to enjoy their cigarettes, even in a business or restaurant? I also don't have sex with women. Should I be the arbiter of lesbian or bisexual sex? Who am I? I can't stand Jazz music, it annoys me, so let me ban it, forever relegated to the trash bin of history. So I say this, give me liberty, in all things. Liberty to be offended by Jazz music, liberty to smell sticky cigarettes, liberty to fuck whom I want. Liberty is a good thing.

There is a reason why the word Liberty was used by our Founding Fathers and not the word Freedom. Freedom is only truly freedom when I have Liberty to back it up. Even the Soviet Union told their people, and the whole world in fact, that their people had freedom of speech. Only they were not at Liberty to say what they wanted, otherwise they would be shipped off to Siberia to live out the rest of their lives whenever they chose to exercise their freedom of speech. Some freedom eh?

So please, for pity's sake, let each govern themselves, as best they see fit. My life is my own, my husband his, you have yours. Live and let be. Do not try to master another, you will just create the hatred you claim to despise. Worse still, if you are successful in mastering another, you only succeed in breeding anarchy, because the slave always turns on the master, despises him, judges him with the same metric as they are judged.

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AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Actually it sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that dick size does matter. I'll be damned if my husband was small and was great at making love to me that I would take a chance on having sex with another man. If he wants it or not. Believe me in time you will have marriage problems.

SexecclecticSexecclectic4 months ago

I’ve read most of your work. I haven’t ran through it all because I enjoy what you have to say so much I like to keep some in reserve.

What I like most of all is your ability to articulate the reasons you and your husband participate in the lifestyle you do. And your commitment to telling it like it is.

I’m also impressed with your dedication to your husband, how you present his participation in the choices you two have made with dignity, despite how so many people will have preconceived notions of the hows and whys of what the two of you do. Your voice is like fresh air on these subjects, kicking aside the cliches that are so abundant in most writings about the lifestyle.

But your rant on liberty and the notion that “Just because you have no interest in something does not mean that nobody should be allowed to do it” is fantastic and my favorite part here. It would be truly amazing if everyone would live their lives to that code. Live and let live, what a concept. It’s sad that the very people who need to hear and soak up that message, are the most resistant to it, and just don’t give a damn whether they take away your liberties and ability to choose. I guess I’m a little cynical with that opinion. Your sexual essay was ultimately about personal choice and liberties. Bravo, loved it.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Finally! An honest female boldly revealing herself. What courage. She loves and honors her husband and her husband honors her in the most intimate of ways. I wish there were more honest stories like this. I'm a male and specifically look for women authors. Thank you, thank you

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

there shoud be a 10 ever think about being a shrink instead of a nurse.What a great sex life you guys have keep writing

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

It took me a very long time to admit to myself that I have a small penis. I'm 2 in soft and 4.5 in hard. Although my wife has known about my cuckold desires for 7/8 years, I never had the courage to tell her that I feel that way because I want to fuck her so hard and long, but simply can't because of my very small penis. However, very recently we had a conversation about just how small my penis is, in reality (and outside of the sph role play realm). Since being honest about the origins of my cuckold cravings it's like a green light has been switched on in her mind about it, and she's wanting to proceed with actually cuckolding me. I wish I had been brave enough to have had the small dick conversation with her sooner. Rather than pretending it wasn't a thing to protect my own ego.

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