- Reviews & Essays
- About loving Loving Wives
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Click hereHere at Literotica there is probably no category more heterogeneous, and occasionally controversial, than Loving Wives. Unsurprisingly, it is also one of the most popular. It doesn't take a whole lot of research to discover that for a great many men there is nothing hotter than a married hottie.
The vast majority of Loving Wives stories have the common theme of wives in sexual situations involving men other than their husbands. That, as a quick glance at titles will tell you, is where the similarities end.
Loving Wives story themes range from one extreme to the other, from willing cuckoldry to bitter revenge, making every stop on the way in between. Both the stories themselves and the comment responses to them make a fascinating study.
In nearly all the Loving Wives stories I've seen which are written in the first person and the narrator is male, he is a husband and not the "other" man or men. It's probably safe to say that male readers tend to make the same choice of the character through which to make a vicarious connection to a story. That is probably why a lot of the comments on Loving Wives stories get very, very nasty when things don't turn out for the husband the way some readers would like them to. Nowhere is this more apparent than the charges that the character is a "wimp" if his reaction to his wife's frolics with other men falls anywhere short of shoving a shotgun loaded with cayenne pepper up the asses of all concerned and firing.
A related theme in comments is condemning the story for what is deemed immoral behavior on the part of the wife without a sufficiently satisfying comeuppance. It's a damn good thing that Mario Puzo didn't let that kind of thinking deter him from creating a suitably ruthless Don Vito Corleone who despite his sins dies naturally and peacefully.
So, what kind of husband has a wife who fucks other men?
The answer to that hinges on one magic word: motivation. Why does she fuck other men? Let's look a the "bad" cases.
The husband might be a cuckold with an emotional need to be shamed and humiliated, or maybe he has simply had the misfortune to marry someone who gets off on shaming and humiliating him and he can't bring himself to extricate himself from his emotional prison. Or maybe she just doesn't give a damn. Such characters and stories about them are as worthy as any others as the stuff of fiction; however I don't find such characters very interesting and haven't had the inclination to create them.
At the other extreme is the cheated-on and vengeful husband.
Haven't most of us fellas whose adolescent years have faded well into the rear-view mirror of time gotten skinned up at least once or twice, "done wrong" by a woman leaving us ready to employ just about anything, including tactical nuclear weapons, in an effort to bring enlightenment to her and the individual responsible? Since such methods are generally not recommended, one alternative is to read, or even write, a story depicting a deliciously contrived emotional peine forte et dure, and there are plenty of those to be found on Literotica.
One story I read here recently led a wife through a series of temptations and failings culminating in her husband constructing a psychological dungeon in which she would spend the rest of her life enduring whatever torment he might feel like inflicting upon her. Overall the story deserves credit for good writing, but before long all I could see in the words was anger, by which I mean the author's anger, not the character's. I can only speculate, of course, but I got the strong impression that for this writer the story was created for catharsis, perhaps for something painful in his real life, and if so, I hope it helped discharge the pain and anger.
Personally, I find this theme more depressing than the crime. In real life there's probably nothing that promises more and delivers less than the lust for revenge. The nice thing about fiction is that it can defy real life and deliver the satisfaction a protagonist seeks, that is, if the reader both wants it and is willing to believe it. That may work for some, and if you are one of them, you are welcome to it; it doesn't work for me, even if the wife's misbehavior is callous or indifferent to her husband; that is all the more so if it isn't.
I haven't yet been inclined to create any of those characters either. If I do, they will most definitely not be sympathetic characters.
In between these two extremes might fall a simple romance about a straying wife who returns to the straight and narrow and is reconciled with her husband. (I suppose a story where it's the husband who goes wrong instead might fit in the Loving Wives category as well.)
One type of man I find most loathsome is the predator who targets a married woman for seduction, filling her head with glitter and grand expectations (with other kinds of filling as well) before casting her aside to move on to the next conquest, leaving behind the emotional wreckage of a woman who may have been completely dedicated to her husband and their marriage until a slick Lothario sold her a pack of lies, leaving behind the jarring realization that she is now an adultress.
I wrote a story about someone like that, and it got a lot of bad commentary, mostly because it sucked. It was hastily written and largely implausible, and it's gone now. However, a few of the criticisms gave me the impression that the commenters identified with the predator and didn't like the way he came out on the losing end of the story. Well, if I decide to write another story that includes such a character, a better-written story this time, the predator, and any would-be predators reading it, won't like that outcome either.
So far, the wives' motivations have ranged from basic human vulnerability to temptation to out-and-out heartless depravity. The common trait of these motivations is that they are selfish: she chose her actions for the sake of her gratification, and hers alone. It is that one-sided motivation that makes infidelity as painful as it is.
Does it always have to be that way? What if the wife's motivation is not selfish and one-sided?
Many, if not most, Loving Wives stories involve husbands who get a real kick (the nice kind) from their wives' sexual adventures, often not at first, but later, after they warm up to the idea as the story progresses. Expressed or implied, the wife's motivation is really their motivation, for something that they both find exciting, regardless of who actually participates physically.
That seems to be something a lot of comment trolls in Loving Wives can't seem to get their heads around: that a wife motivated by the mutual, loving trust she shares with her husband can bring him as much pleasure as she brings to herself, maybe even more, when she kicks up her sexual heels in some way or another that they both like. A reader who can't imagine a man with a wife like that not being a wimp suffers from a limited ability to imagine. I don't mean necessarily imagining himself being such a husband (or herself being the wife of one, as the case may be), just accepting that it's perfectly healthy for others to be that way if they want to.
Perhaps, in general, some people get riled when they've invested the time to work their way through a story (particularly a long one), only to find it ends up in a way that disappoints or disturbs them. I suppose it would be nice to find a place where we could all be guaranteed only work that fits our own personal notions of what is satisfying art, but it should take only a moment's thought to realize no such place can exist, certainly not an eclectic library like Literotica.
There's a good reason why the expression whatever floats your boat is so often applied to sex. Every one of us has a unique boat; what floats it is as individual as ourselves. Thank God we aren't all born with the same boat.
- COMMENTS
LongDrawabout 2 years agoPorlock absolutely hits the nail right on the head and smashes it straight through the thick head of those Literotica trolls that assume that the Loving Wives category can be nothing other than hatred towards women who cheat on their husband or vice versa.
His description in the last 4 paragraphs is exactly the type of relationship I have been creating in my story, VY: A Beginning And An End, here on Literotica. Alas though, the trolls insist on 1* bombing citing the same old "that isn't LW" drivel.
Good for you! 5*
NewOldGuy77over 3 years agoAll the reasons you've stated is why I avoid writing in that category. Romance will remain my main lane, thanks!
Vorstenover 4 years agoI was hoping to learn something more about why it's so popular but I'm still where I was. I guess the mindset is just too alien to my own for me to actually understand it beyond "different people like different stuff". That said while I can't enjoy the stories a lot of the top sex scenes seem to end up in the genre.
Thanks for making an effort to explain things.
Treymonabout 5 years agoIs about a mind numbingly stupid and clueless husband ,who is then emasculated into become lipsticked cuckold who reconciles for the children or to be noble or she really didn't mean it and loves him with her whole heart and soul other than when she is accepting strange penises in her vagina.
Anonymousover 5 years agoI could have written this exactly if I possessed any writing skills. The vicious revenge stories are usually skillfully written, but too often they are unfair to reality and become emotional downers. The title "Loving Wives" to me means exactly what most of the stories should be about...wives who have sexual experiences with others and continue to love their husbands. I enjoy eroticism that enhances relationships for the characters and the readers. All your stories were an enjoyable read in every way...five stars all! Thanks for sharing your talent.
luedonover 6 years agoAnd it could have been written yesterday and been just as relevant.
Perhaps the only addition I would make is something that has become clear to me in recent times with stories, which is the distinction between the facile 'excuses' given in most stories by a wandering wife for her adulterous behaviour and the deep and complex real reasons why a wife may become open to doing something which she knows society frowns upon.
It's not easy to explain those reasons in a story, but most LW authors don't even try. Do they have any understanding at all of the female psyche? Do they really want to understand?
Lue
Klinsingover 6 years agoThe "loving wives" category seems to have some of the most emotionally complex stories because of the shame/humiliation element which is also a turn on factor for the male partners of the loving wives in these stories. Some people need that in the sexual experience evidently and these stories are a great way to explore the dimensions of those emotions, e.g. the seeming contradiction of pleasure within shame, and see that others share them.
dad2you2almost 13 years agoEveryone on Lit is anonymous. There is not one real name listed on the feedback. So that means you are using a pseudonym yourself. That means everyone is anonymous. You just hide behind a fake name is all.
Scorpio44almost 13 years agoeven with some differences in opinions voiced by those who can't/won't go a day without picking a few nits. I enjoyed reading the essay.
Thanks
Porlockalmost 13 years agoAuthorPuzo wrote the movie screenplay (with some help from Francis Ford Coppola), as well as the novel.
I'm not quite sure what you're getting at in your comment. You say the husband of an unfaithful wife might want to get even, which is not in dispute. Depending on the individual, it's a perfectly natural emotion, in a story or in real life. You seem focused on stories where that feeling is strong and leads to action, usually successful. I said that, speaking for myself, I find such stories personally depressing. I also said that while a story in which such success leads to permanent satisfaction can make for good fiction, it is at odds with reality, especially in the long term. It's perfectly fine if some readers of such stories enjoy them and accept the conclusion. I said that, too. I'm just not one of them.
That leaves me to conclude that you differ with me about the realities of revenge. You say that some situations scream revenge, which I suppose may be true. The lust for revenge screams; the realization of it barely whispers.
Think of the things some strongly motivated and minimally restrained people do for revenge. In the kind of story we're talking about it's usually not blind, immediate rage; it's much more likely to be some coldly calculated, exquisite plan to really sock it to the cheater, the successful execution of which makes him feel vindicated. The time, effort, thought, and often expense dedicated to this goal (which I distinguish from seeking equity, a different matter entirely) are consuming, taking a toll on everything else of any importance in his life: his work, his recreation and other pleasures, his relationships with other people, and myriad injuries, great and small, wrought by the careful preservation and nurturing of a caustic emotion. The bigger and more elaborate the plan is, the greater the cost, all for the sake of the fleeting moments of pleasure as shock, dismay and suffering befall the intended target. If he's lucky he might even drag out the giddy euphoria of his success for a matter of some hours, at best. Feeling that good for much longer happens only in fiction.
Now tell me: is that what you'd call winning?
shangoalmost 13 years agoOr did you just watch the movie? In Puzo's classic (Which he wasn't very fond of) a young Vito Corleone was working as a Clerk in a small Grocery. When the local "Don" had him pushed out of his job, he then tuirned to petty theft to feed his family. This SAME GUY came back into his life and tried to shake him down for the Lion's share of his latest haul. This was the final insult to Vito. In most stories, the wive's did not have a single drunken indiscretion, but in alot of cases, Affairs that lasted months and many times resulted in a child or more. This SCREAMS revenge. Keep in mind, most men put themselves in the "Hero's" shoes when they read almost any literature and they want the "good guy" to win!!!
syd_v63almost 13 years agoLet me start by saying GOOD ARICLE!!! I have really come to dislike the fact that Literotica allows for Anonymous posts. My inane belief however naive was that the comments section was an attempt to allow the readers to give honest, constructive feedback to writer as well as praise and disappointment for how a story turned out. I find a great deal of the criticism that the author speaks to comes under the authorship of Anonymous. I have no issue with people having opinions about stories like or dislike but some of the comments border on hate, they are not constructive, and act as though these stories are real. Thats right I hate to burst your bubble fellow readers but a great deal of the stuff posted here is fictitious, made up, fantasy. It amazes me that on a site like this with thousands of stories to choose from people cant just find what they like and move on. Hell Im not a fan of homosexual exploits so when I come across it in a story I move on. I dont take it upon myself to bash the writer or scream that the whole story should be in the Gay Male section. I notice that no one screams when there is a lesbian passage in a Loving Wives story, where the wife so loves the husbands she grants him his fantasy of having sex with two women at once.
Personally I thought that the Loving Wives category was a bit tongue and cheek. I didnt take it to be as limiting as to only include stories of wives who truly love their husbands. If that were the case shouldnt those stories be posted in the Erotic Couplings or Romance sections where all the happy endings take place? If this is the case ever single story that includes anal sex should then be posted in the Anal section.
boojum17almost 13 years agoThis has to be one of the most well-written and balanced essays I have ever read on these pages.
LW can be a minefield for those tempted to choose it as a category in which to post, and if their material is 'tainted' with elements of BDSM or Fetish - which these stories quite often are, the writer will incur the considerable wrath of the LW devotees.
Quite why they are so dismissive is often something of a mystery to me and, to be honest, it is a niche I seldom read and wouldn't post to. As Porlock says in his essay, if I might paraphrase, chacun a son gout (my apologies over the lack of diacritical marks - this page seems not to like them).
We all have our own interests, kinks, preferences or fetishes; we should be happy that we have such a marvellous place in which to write, read and fantasise about them, rather than involving ourselves in needless internal conflicts.
I think this probably sums up best the way I feel; you might want to consider it: Celebrate your joys where you find them. Don't analyse them. Don't label them. And, whatever you do, do not ask someone else to validate them.
Thank you again, Porlock, for a most interesting and erudite piece,
