Absence of God

It was a normal day, the birds were chirping the dogs were barking, but I was faced with a conundrum, one that has plagued all the loneliest nights of my entire life, the nights that I would lie alone in bed, just thinking aboutHim. His beautiful black locks, his gorgeous golden brown eyes, which are the most beautiful I'd ever seen. Whenever we play Halo, I just listen to his voice, like a gentle creek, flowing of the smoothest rocks, as the sunset casts a beautiful glow across the glistening water, the most relaxing thing I could ever imagine. But every time, I get snapped back into reality, the cruel reality that is, the fact that he doesn't return my feelings, he never could, because Chandler, the love of my life, the only person that I have real feelings for, is straight, and there's no way that he could return my feelings. It's impossible, he would never like someone like me, or at least, that's what I thought. My name is Nick and this is the story of how I ignited the spark of love with my best friend

"Today's the Day. The day I come out (lol) and say what I need to say." Said Nick into his mirror, giving himself a pep talk. His voice is full of confidence, and his heart is full of hope.

"Today, I have been invited over to Chandler's (Mom's) house, and I'm going to make my move! There's no way he could not return my feelings!" he said, his voice quivering, as he began to realize how nervous he really was.

"Maybe, maybe this is a bad idea." He said into the mirror, realizing that he may not be able to do this, "No I always do this, I can't deny my feelings any longer, if he denies me, that's it, that's the worst that can happen," though he said this uncertainly, as there's a lot of possible things that could go wrong. Maybe Chandler wouldn't want to be his friend anymore, and that would be terrible, as he's doing this to be with Chandler, not without.

Nick drove over to Chandler's house, his hand trembling a little bit, he's super excited, as even if he's denied, at least he can get this off his chest. He parked, his heart racing, his mind going a million miles an hour.

He got to the door, and knocked, he didn't want to be rude and just barge in, considering what he was going to try to do today. His mom answered the door, which is fine, he's not planning on confessing his feelings right off the bat, it's not like he was gonna ask if he wants to 'have some fun' the second he opens the door.

"Oh, hey Nick," Said Chandler's mom, Heather, "It's been awhile since you've been over here, how have you been?" She asked him, without very much real sincerity, kind of like she's being paid to talk to someone she doesn't like.

"Yeah, I've been pretty busy, and Chandler has been working, so I thought it would be fun to do some stuff to help him unwind." said Nick, blushing just a little bit at the thought of the plans he had tonight.

Heather looked at him quizzically, noticing the slight blush, and as she looked at him, Nick realized he was blushing, and that made his face go completely red. She didn't say anything, as she didn't have any reason to think anything interesting would happen that night.

As he walked into the house, Bella and Chloe came to greet Nick, and he gave them a quick pat on the head. As he did this, Heather called Chandler down, saying "Chandler, GET DOWN HERE, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!" though, Nick thought that maybe he'll be more than friends by the end of the night.

Chandler ran down the stairs toward the kitchen, which is where the front door is located. As he came down the stairs, Nick looked over, and time stood still. It had been so long since he had seen him, and his heart skipped a beat. He was wearing sweatpants, and had an old t-shirt on, that had a design that was too faded to really tell what was on it. But to Nick, it was perfection, everything about him was the most amazing part of him, or of any man or woman. In Nick's lovestruck eyes, he was perfect, there were no flaws, though he wanted to see if the rest of him was just as flawless.

As Chandler entered the room, he made eye contact with Nick, and gave him a little smile, which Nick always thinks if the cutest thing in the world, all he needs to be happy is to see that smile when he wakes up in the morning, nothing else.

"Hey Nick, what's up?" Chandler asked, in a casual matter.

"N-nothing much, just-just hanging out, haha." Nick stuttered out really quickly, causing him to blush even more, which Heather noticed, though she didn't think anything of it at the time.

"You want a Mt.Dew? We have some voltage in the fridge." said Chandler, trying to be a gracious host.

"Y-Yeah, sure, I'd love one." said Nick, happy that Chandler was paying attention to him, though he thought to himself, 'why would he not pay attention to me? He invited me over, I'm being dumb,' though he still was pleased by it anyway.

He got his Mt.Dew, and started to sip at it, and watched Chandler take a big swig of his drink, and watched fascinated, as the difference part of his face and neck pulse and move a little bit, fascinated by every little part of him, and the way it moved.

Halfway through his drink, Chandler looked at Nick, and noticed him staring, and as soon as he made eye contact, Nick's eyes darted away, looking at anything other than Chandler.

Chandler, looked at him, wondering what he was thinking, though the thought quickly passed, as he said, "Why don't we go up to my room and play some Halo."

Nick started a little bit when Chandler started talking, though he quickly regained his composure, and said "Yeah sure, sounds good!", and he said it without stuttering, which made him happy to know that he's starting to gain confidence while talking to Chandler, which means he's one step closer to his goal.

They head up to his room, and Nick starts to unpack, taking his Xbox out, and start setting it up with Chandler's TV. There's enough room for two on the bed so they both sit down on it, and Nick makes a mental note to remember that for later. They start playing Xbox, and Chandler is doing better than Nick at Halo, though he's distracted, being so close to Chandler. He can smell his scent, it smells really good, he just took a shower, his hair was a little wet still, and he could smell the scent of his shaving cream, and his masculine scent made Nick feel things he hadn't felt before, feelings he didn't really know he could have for another man.

As they started to play, Nick was a little distracted, for obvious reasons, and was doing relatively bad in the game, especially compared to Chandler, who was on a killing streak. Nick looked at Chandler, his face stern, and focused, and he wondered what to say to him, what he could possibly say to make him understand what he feels, and make him feel the same way.

He knew he couldn't be too flowery, he probably wouldn't respond very well to that, he would be more blunt, and just say his feelings, he had to.

He tried to say something, but all he said was "H-hey, Chandler, I-I have to-to say, uhhh,"while his entire face went red, and Chandler looked at him curiously, trying to figure what he was trying to say.

"Dude, you're my friend, you can say anything to me, it's alright." Chandler said, in a supportive tone, with a slight smile that sent a shiver down Nick's back.

With that, he gained the confidence he needed to say what he came here to say, albeit with some difficulty, "Chandler, I-I like you, a lot, and I need to say that. I've been-been in, been in love, with you for a long time. I think about you when I'm falling asleep, and your face is the first face I think of in the morning, and-and I want to be with you, and I hope you feel the same way."

Chandler stopped for a second, saying nothing. The silence was the loudest Nick had ever felt, and his heart dropped when he didn't say anything. Chandler turned to look at him, and said, a small smile split between his perfect lips, "I'm so happy to hear you say that," his eyes watering a little bit, "I feel the same way, I have for a long time, but I could never say anything, and-and I can't believe you feel the same way!" his voice cracking a little bit.

Nick felt happier than he had ever felt, his heart was racing, and all the negative thoughts and feelings were lifted away, and were replaced by joy, joy like he had never felt before. Nick rushed forward, and locked his arms around Chandler, and his head settled against his chest, where he could hear Chandler's heart beat.

Chandler reeled back a little bit, surprised by Nick's display of emotion, but he returned his embrace after just a second, patting his back a little bit, letting Nick know that everything was alright.

At this point, they had all but forgotten about their Halo game, as at this moment, the only thing that existed was each other, in a magical embrace that that they hoped would never end.

Chandler looked at Nick lovingly, happy that he had the courage he didn't, and said to Nick, "I hope that this feeling never ends."

"So, uh, Chandler, do you, maybe, umm," Nick stuttered, his face going bright red, "want to-to do, something, umm,"

Chandler looked at him patiently, waiting to see if he would say what he was hoping from the bottom of his heart he would say. Chandler gently touched Nick's chin, guiding his eyes toward his own, his auburn brown eyes pierced his very heart, and Chandler began to lean his face toward Nick's.

Nick's heart began to beat faster than it ever has before, and he unconsciously started to move his head back, but Chandler put his right hand on the back of his head, and then their lips finally touched.

It was an explosion of feelings, Nick's face felt hot, his hands were shaky, and time stopped. Nick couldn't believe how soft Chandler's lips felt, and he closed his eyes, and pressed his lips into Chandler's. Chandler began to probe his tongue into Nick's mouth, and Nick began to open his mouth to accept it, but at that moment, Heather called up to Chandler.

"Chandler, COME HELP ME CARRY THESE BOXES DOWN STAIRS!"

They slowly separated, and Chandler let out a long sigh, and said "I'm sorry, if I don't go, she'll come up here, and I don't think we want that."

Nick let out a similar sigh, and said "Yeah, I-I get it," said Nick slightly frustrated, "When-when you come back, we, uhh, we can pick up where we left-left off." Nick stuttered out, trying to be smooth, though his face couldn't get any more red.

Chandler let out a cute little giggle, with the cutest smile with the lips that were just pressed against his, with a very slight blush and a tent in his pants.

As Nick waited for Chandler to return, he decided that he was going to make a move on Chandler, though he didn't actually know what he planned to do. All he knew is that he was hoping to make things, steam up a little bit, so to say.

He heard Chandler coming back up the stairs, and his heart started to race. He was hoping to see Chandler in all of his glory, like he had dreamed of for this night since he knew what being gay was.

Chandler walked back into the room, the tent in his pants still there, though it was less obvious than it was earlier. He closed the door, and Nick ran up and kissed him again, and started to pull him towards the bed.

Chandler was a little shocked at how forward he was being, and said, "Woah, you're really fired up." he said with a nervous laugh.

Nick said nothing, as he was too focused on keeping his cool, all he wanted to do was break down and curl up into a ball, but he was going to do it. All he was thinking about was not being a huge mess, or at least a bigger mess than he already is.

Nick got up onto the bed, and he pulled Chandler up with him, and had him lie on his back, and started to unbutton his pants.

"Ooh," Chandler said, visibly excited, "I was hoping that this is what you wanted, though I wasn't going to say anything."

Nick let out a nervous giggle, his ears going red to match his face, and pulled Chandler's pants down, and taking them off completely, leaving his boxers on for the time being.

Nick looked at the bulge in his boxers, surprised at the size, and sharply inhaled through his nose. He then locked eyes with Chandler, seeing some mixture of lust and love in his eyes, and that made Nick even more excited than he already was.

"What are you waiting for?" Chandler said in a sympathetic, but frustrated tone.

Nick got the message and started to proceed, and began to pull his boxers down. As it slid down and Chandler's penis became uncovered and began to sway in the air as Nick stared at it in all of its seven and a half inches of glory. Chandler let out a small groan from the sensation if his penis hitting fresh air. They both sat there for a second, Nick having second thoughts, and Chandler shivering in anticipation.

Nick finally decided to just go for it, and he spit in his left hand, and started to slowly stroke Chandler's penis, as he moaned loudly. Nick continued to stroke his penis, starting to pick up speed a little bit, and gave the tip of his penis a tentative lick.

Chandler let out another moan, this one slightly louder than the last, and Nick stopped for a second and said, "Chandler, you might want to be a little more quiet, or else your mom will hear us."

Chandler's heart skipped a beat just thinking about his mom walking in on this, interesting scene.

Chandler replied, "Yeah, you're definitely right, sorry, I'll be more quiet.

With that said, Nick starts to stroke slowly, and puts the tip of Chandler's penis into his mouth, and starts to apply a small amount of suction while bobbing his head a little bit.

Chandler's head is foggy, due to all the foreign sensations. He begins to let out a moan, but he catches himself before it gets too loud.

The tastes are new to Nick, and he doesn't dislike them, they're just unusual. The taste is a little salty, as Chandler was sweating a little bit beforehand, and the texture was much more spongy than he had expected.

While sucking on the tip, he began to run his tongue around the tip, eliciting a grunt from Chandler. Nick stopped stroking, and started to try and take his member farther into his mouth, though he got down about a third of his penis, but he started to gag, and he let off a little bit.

After that, Chandler says, "It's okay, you can take your time, no need to rush it." in a gentle, supportive tone, as he ran his fingers through Nick's golden brown hair.

With Chandler's encouraging words, Nick slowed down, and relaxed his muscles, including his throat, and started to work on it little by little. After a little while though, he stopped and took his mouth off of Chandler's shaft, and just stroked it for a second, before he started to lick all the way up and down his length, and took one of Chandler's balls into his mouth and sucked on it a little bit, while beginning to furiously stroke Chandler's shaft.

In between his muffled moans Chandler muttered, "Fuck, you-you're really gooOOD At this." while trying to be quiet but not really succeeding.

Nick ran his tongue all the way up the shaft, and took it back into his mouth and went back to trying to deepthroat Chandler's entire cock. Not soon after he began to do that, he started to notice a new taste, it was salty, and a different consistency than any other liquids he'd tasted that day, he assumed it was his precome, which he knew meant that Chandler was getting pretty close.

Upon that thought, he started to have second thoughts, he wasn't sure if he could go through with this, this was a step that he wasn't sure he could take. But then, he looked up at Chandler, and the pure bliss he was in. His head was back, his face was a slight rose color, and his breathing was becoming more ragged by the second, it was exactly like Nick had dreamed about, this was the perfect night, and if Chandler gets even a little bit of pleasure out of it, he would do it.

It was with those thoughts motivating him that he renewed his efforts to take Chandler's throbbing member all the way to the base. He was gagging, and slobbering, but he didn't care. All he cared about was Chandler, and anything he could do to finish him off.

It was then, that he finally rested his nose against Chandler's freshly shaven skin, with his chin up against his balls. He let out another gag, looked up at Chandler, and pulled of his cock, his chest heaving, with a short coughing fit. He looked at Chandler, proud of his new ground that he made, and Chandler looked at him, frustrated he stopped, and grabs Nick's head by the hair and started to thrust his hips up while he pulls Nick's head down toward his dick, in an attempt to get his dick back into his mouth.

As soon as Nick let him in, he started to, essentially, fuck Nick's mouth. He was pushing and pulling Nick's head up and down, and thrusting up, resulting in a lot of smacking sounds, along with the bed shaking a decent amount, though thankfully it didn't creak or squeal or anything that could give away the activities that were occurring. During this, Nick just tried to relax his throat, and anticipated the events that were about to come.

Chandler's penis started to throb, and Chandler's breath began to become more and more ragged, and then he thrusted up, held Nick's head down, whispered "Fuuuuck" under his breath, and started to come.

It was a sensation Nick didn't expect, the first few spurts his the back of his throat, but he pulled back a little bit, and the rest started to land on his tongue. The taste was surprisingly bitter, with a slight salt taste to it, it made him gag, but at this point he didn't really care. He started to move his head up and down while he was coming, adding to the sensation, and spreading the come around on his tongue.

Chandler finally stopped coming after a few seconds, and Nick pulled off of his cock, which was starting to go soft. He looked up at Chandler, and Chandler commanded, "Let me see it.".

Nick opened his mouth as wide as he could, and stuck his tongue out a little bit, pooling all of the creamy liquid in a divot on his tongue.

Chandler then said in a commanding tone, "Close your mouth and swish it around a little bit, make sure every inch of your mouth tastes like my jizz, and your breath smells like it for a week."

Nick did as told, and started to swish it around, there was enough of it that he could gargle it if he wanted, and made sure to run it over his teeth to stain his teeth white.

Just as Nick started to get used to the taste, Chandler said "Now swallow it all." in a very commanding tone.

And he did, he swallowed it all in two huge gulps and then opened his mouth to show Chandler, he even moved his tongue side to side to show that he wasn't hiding any of it.

With that, Chandler gave him a big, adorable smile and leaned over and gave Nick a peck on the cheek, he would kiss him on the lips, but he didn't really want a secondhand taste of himself.

Then Chandler said, "What now? That was great, but judging by the bulge in your pants, you still need to get off."

"You could, maybe, gi-give me, a blowjob?" stuttered Nick hopefully.

Chandler leaned close to Nick's ear, and in a sultry tone, said "I think I have a better idea.", then pulled back a little and gave Nick a wink, and started to pull off Nick's shirt.

Nick, a little shocked by that, just kind of lets it happen. Chandler get's his shirt off, and pulls him farther up on the bed, and let's his back lean up against the headboard, and started to unbutton his pants, and began to pull his pants down a little when Nick says, "W-w-what do you plan to do?"

Chandler looks at him, his penis becoming harder, just as his smile widened, and without saying anything, leaned past Nick, and grabbed something from behind his headboard. He pulled it back, and held it between his fingers, a devious smile splitting his lips, then Nick realized what it was, a condom.