Accredited Sadist

"I ought to get back."

"OK. Oh, leave that toy in place!" He caught my hand as I turned it off. "Make the walk more fun."

"No! I'm not wandering home with a vibrating arse!" Stories about such things always seemed tacky, to me. Like people wanted to get caught.

"No? Shame. Can I persuade you to just leave it in place, then?"

"I can't give it back to you on the doorstep! I live on the main road!"

"Swap ya." As earnest as any kid wanting to trade marbles.

"You'd be satisfied with my basic toy? It doesn't do anything."

"I know." That smile appeared again. "So it could go through airport security just fine. No metal..." The thin smile widened. "Anything, to make queuing at Gatwick at 5am more entertaining! Go on, help me?" He churched his hands and tapped his fingers together. Was he hoping for a thorough security screening? I wasn't going to ask.

I shrugged, having enough of a student mentality to go along with any free-toy-upgrade plan. I flung on my outer layers. I hoped I could wear a soft bra by the next day, even though I didn't really need one at all. I considered offering Richie my knickers to keep, but he gave them back to me without comment. I felt my pulse through my nipples still, and, when I bent to lace up my boots, the heat of my arse rubbing over the sheets.

"Ready?" He held out his arm, as if leading me to a formal dance. I took it.

Once off the busy A-road, I needed to concentrate on my footing. I was more tired than I'd expected. I needed his arm, now, for the rest of the walk. We passed into the small woodland, where a footpath linked one residential road to mine.

"Peaceful, here, isn't it?" he said. We stopped on a little bridge over a brook, watching bubbling water disappear into the night. Suddenly, Richie dialled the vibrator to maximum, as he grasped my tender arse with the other hand.

I choked back a scream, bending over the railings. It was overwhelmingly intense. With him standing behind me, it felt exactly like being fucked from behind. I might be interested in trying anal sex with a man, now.

Richie stepped back as an elderly couple and fluffy dog approached. They seemed surprised we were fully clothed. "Evening," the gentleman said.

"Evening," Richie replied. I nodded, not trusting my voice. Only when they'd disappeared did I let Richie rummage for the control and turn it off. His final grope of my bottom seemed almost cosy, as I enjoyed pressure all across that sensitive area. The best bit of kink -- making a huge area like your backside as reactive as your clitoris...

I glared at Richie anyway.

"What? You weren't walking!"

I shook my head. I should have guessed. "Pedantic bastard."

He put out his arm again, as a sort of non-apology.

We made it to my house. I stood, awkward, knowing he wouldn't appreciate a kiss goodnight.

"'Night, then. Good luck with the thesis. Oh, have you seen that new paper in TIDs -- Trends in Infectious Diseases? Ivanka Barkocz and some people from Columbia. It'll set your work in context. You've got my email. Stay in touch, yeah? Regards to Laura, if you see her."

Before I could reply, he'd vanished into the night.

***

It was a pleasant surprise when Richie nodded at me in passing the next day. I nodded back.

An hour later, I got a text. 'This is your obligatory aftercare check-in call. Hope you are OK. R.'

'I'm great, thanks! You?'

'Dan's offered me a post. So I'll be back in the UK from late summer. Hallelujah, a country that doesn't fuck up tea!'

'Congratulations.'

'Yeah. Good luck getting together with that bird on Tuesday.'

I was grateful for the reminder -- I'd forgotten! And Richie clearly understood I wasn't trying to instigate any type of relationship with him.

On Tuesday, I arranged to leave the lab early, and headed down to the pub basement where I'd find London's kinkiest women. Or as it transpired, a bunch of tipsy ladies with a bit of interest in slap with their tickle. I sipped a pint, exchanged words with a nice girl who'd found she had no interests in common with me, and predicted I'd be leaving early, for a date with my magic wand.

Then she came in. The blonde goddess must have seen my face light up, as she walked straight to me. She gave me a nervous smile. OK, I could do this...

"Hi," I squeaked. "Can I buy you a drink? What's your name?"

"I'm Emma. You're Rachel, I know. Please. Now, tell me. I've heard a lot of good things about how you like playing. Are they true?"

"Probably. What have you heard? Here you go."

"Thank you. And that's good! I was just thinking how I bet they're right: you would look even more gorgeous with marks on your backside." She blushed, having used her really obvious chat-up line.

For once, I had the perfect response. "Let me show you them, and you can tell me."

It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Obviously, Richie still takes all the credit for getting us together. He's allowed to be a smug git, sometimes. Bastard.