Actress: Unauthorized Memoirs Ch. 01

"This is a business. It is about good looking bodies, special effects and telling people what they already believe is right. Acting is simply being obedient to the company that owns your image. Do you understand that?"

I was trying to ingest everything he was telling me and the truth was that it only partially made sense to me. I didn't know what to say.

"Stand up," he commanded.

I stood up and straightened my dress.

"How badly do you want to be a famous actress Madison?"

"Very badly," I said without the slightest hesitation.

He pushed himself off his desk and came near to me. He started looking at me from head to toe. He took his hand and ran it across my check then through my hair. A shiver went through my body as I began to understand what was happening here.

I was not in disbelief at the fact that he was touching me but that I was allowing myself to be touched, that I was suddenly that girl in a situation that she is made to understand she will be made to submit to a man if she wants to get ahead. And that was never the girl I would ever be. That was always the other girl.

But at the moment, it was not that simple. This man's presence was incredibly arresting to my natural resistance. His absolute calmness and confidence he carried as he went about talking and touching me was infectious.

He didn't act the least bit hesitant when he got up and started touching me. He just did it and didn't seem to care at all what the consequences might be. I had walked into the room thinking of nothing but making a good impression and making up for the bad audition, but he had completely disarmed me from knowing what to do.

I didn't know what was going to happen next but I was asking myself what I was going to do and if I would have the will to tell him no should I have to. But it was obvious that I was breathing heavy and could not hide that I liked the immediate attention he was giving me.

He ran his hand down the length of my back and on to the line of my underwear.

"That was my personal secretary who you saw this morning. She screens actresses for me."

"Screens them?" I asked.

"Yes, I don't have time to speak with every hungry actress in this town to figure out who is ready."

"What do you mean by ready?" I asked nervously.

He ran his hand along the edge of my panties. It was the very first moment when something happened inside me that I had never let anyone see before. I'm not sure if it was simply the moment in my life or that we were alone there with no one to judge me, or that I was just really attracted to him and wanted him to want me despite the insinuation that I was to let myself be exploited if I wanted to make it. But whatever it was, the control that I normally had taken with every guy before was nowhere to be found inside me.

"I thought The Agency made it clear that you were not to wear panties at any audition."

I looked up at him and I still cannot believe what I said next.

"Would you like me to remove them?"

He nodded and I reached underneath my dress. I pulled them down to the floor, picked them up and placed them on the chair. My heart was beating so hard with the intensity of the moment. There was something so exhilarating about asking him permission to do something so sexual and feeling absolutely vulnerable to his power.

"You need to understand that you are here because I asked you to come here. The other agents assigned to this film thought you were not ready to be trained and I have gone against their opinion and asked to have you signed to The Agency."

"Signed?" I responded surprised.

"Signed. At least if after this meeting, I am confident you are willing to do anything, and I mean anything, to prepare yourself to be star quality."

I tried to hide my absolute astonishment that he had just offered a contract with me to be represented by The Agency. "Of course I would do anything," I said affirmatively.

"You have to understand," he went on while he moved his hand from my back down the side of my leg onto my bare skin. "Once you sign, that is it. It is a 10-year exclusive contract with us and forbids joining with any other agency if you choose to break the contract. Is that clear?"

His hand went underneath the hem of my dress and up onto the bare curve of my ass. I couldn't believe how quickly he had offered me a contract and was in disbelief that he had really offered me one. There was hardly any discussion about my acting and he made it clear almost the moment I walked in that he wasn't interested in wasting any time if I didn't play by the rules.

"And if I say no?"

"It will go on your record and you will not get another invitation," he said.

"And what would be involved in fulfilling the contract?" I asked while he shifted behind me and continued to fondle my bare ass.

"You would be completely trained and guided from day one, inside and out. You would essentially be owned by The Agency and you would fully trust them to properly guide you from where you are at today to a place of public celebrity down the road. You will never refuse any requests we make and you will never disclose to anyone what goes on here."

"What goes on here?" I courageously asked.

"Madison, we are the best at what we do. You know our reputation. We control the majority of films in Hollywood and the ones we don't control usually come across our desks at some point with requests for one of our actors. If we want to make a star, we make one."

His hand had glided around the front of my body and he had slipped it underneath my dress. He inched it down the curve of my waist and onto my bare shaven pussy. There would be no going back now I thought.

"An actress is simply an image we create on screen. The stories are minor details. What is most important is we make an actress into a sex symbol. It is what sells."

He had slid his finger through the folds of my cunt. There was no way I could hide the fact that it was absolutely wet and that he could run his fingers up and down that wetness. He made sure that I knew he was turning me on and there was nothing I could do about it.

"And if we are going to invest an enormous amount of money in selling a product, we don't want to take any risk that that product is not what we want it to be."

His body was pressed against my back and his other hand wrapped tightly around my body so I couldn't really move. He slid his middle finger into my soaked pussy and pushed it up deep until he heard me breathe out in pleasure. I couldn't believe I was being such a slut, I told myself.

"You will go through an intense regimen of training to prepare both your mind and your body while we figure out how to build you as an actress. Your personal life and your professional life will no longer be separate things. Understand?"

"Yes," I muttered as well as I could. His middle finger was slowly banging my pussy in and out. His other finger was fondling my clit and sending shivers up through my body.

"You will be taught to obey and to serve in all senses of the words and any refusal to do so will result in immediate and permanent expulsion from The Agency."

I could hardly comprehend his words at this point. He had slipped another finger up inside me and had pulled me back toward him so he could finger me at the angle he wanted. He started to push his fingers deeper inside me, alternating between a slow, delicate motion and a sudden thrusting of his fingers forcefully into me without any delicacy.

"Have you ever been finger banged like this by a stranger?"

I shook my head as he intensified the motion and finger fucked me with three fingers until my breath starting heaving, my body contorting to the pleasure at being opened up like that. I was so wet that it was moistening the part of my dress that haphazardly fell between my legs between thrusts.

He noticed that as well and reached up to the light blue ribbon that was tied around me just underneath my dress. He untied it and pulled it out of the loops of my dress. He took each of my wrists and put them behind my back. I could feel him take the ribbon and wrap it around both of my wrists. It was all happening so fast that the feeling of being completely out of control and letting it happen took over me.

He grabbed me by the hair and pulled my hair back in a pony tail and took the other end of the ribbon and wrapped it tightly around. When he pulled the ribbon taut and tied it, my head was pulled back slightly by my hair.

"Get on your knees. I need to test your obedience."

Not being sure what he meant but being completely turned on by him at this point, I knelt down, knee by knee, so my head was naturally pointed upward by the ribbon. He turned to stand in front of me when the phone suddenly rang. He smiled and looked at me.

"Open your mouth wide and wait for me."

I did as was told and opened it up.

"Wide," he said sternly and I opened it wider. "Keep it open until I'm ready."

He picked up the phone and started talking to someone on the other end who sounded like his boss.

"Yes, I think she'll work out well," he told the person on the phone. "Yes, she will have some resistance but I don't think it will be a problem."

While he was talking, the reality of what I was doing had a moment to sink in. I could picture myself in his office kneeling in front of his desk with my hands tied behind my back and my mouth wide open. I wish I could say that I was somehow ashamed to be doing what I was doing, but I was not.

I was thoroughly turned on by him just doing what he wanted to me without asking. I was intoxicated by the calm power he maintained in getting what he wanted and in telling me how things were and how they were going to be.

He finished his phone conversation and without saying another word, causally walked back around his desk while smiling at me. He stood in front of me and unzipped his black dress pants. He reached into his boxers and pulled out his already stiff cock.

It all seemed like the normal course of business for him as he put his hands on his hips and slowly inserted the head of his cock into my mouth, pushing it deep into me until it touched the back of my throat.

"I can always tell how good an actress is going to be by the way she sucks cock."

I couldn't believe that he said something so demeaning as that, but I had little time to react as he had already put his hand on the back of my head and motioned for me to start sucking. I was now completely self-conscious that my oral performance was on audition and I needed to show him what I could do. It was like my most insecure female thoughts took over me.

I tightened my lips firmly over my teeth and wrapped my mouth around the head of his prick, sucking the head of it up and down, over and over, and then licking my tongue around his circumference and over the tip. I bobbed my head up and down as well as I could with my hair being tied to my hands and having to push my hands further up my back when I needed to suck down.

"Show me how deep you can take it," he ordered.

I took a breath, tightened my lips and slowly took in his cock deeper into my mouth until it touched the back of my throat. I wasn't able to take it all the way in, though, and I looked up at him to express that that was the deepest I could take it in.

He proceeded to grab my head from behind, pull his cock out a bit and then push it in even deeper, making me gag. He watched me gag and smiled. Then pulled it out a bit again and pushed it deep into my throat again to make me gag once more. He pulled it all the way out and a string of saliva clung from my mouth to his cock then fell onto my dress.

"Again."

He pushed his cock deep into my mouth once again, this time holding my head firmer and making me hold it deep even while I was gagging. He pulled out again and more saliva fell from my mouth onto my dress but there was nothing I could do with my hands tied behind me.

The next time he pushed his cock into my mouth, he took my head with both of his hands and began to repeatedly thrust into my mouth, jamming his prick so deep and so hard into my mouth that I gagged over and over. Tears began to come from my eyes and slide down my cheeks but he kept forcefully thrusting his cock into my mouth. He took it out again to let me rest.

"You've never been properly face-fucked have you?"

I shook my head no. The very question made me feel embarrassed and I couldn't even believe that I answered it like a normal question.

"I can tell you have a lot of desire and willingness to make it and to please. You simply require real training so your body can do what your mind wants it to."

He made me suck him more as he seemed to be testing me to see how my ability to give him head mirrored my nature as an actress. It was as if he just took me straight to this dirty level of my sexuality that went right past any conscious level of what was acceptable. It all happened so fast that I didn't even have time to interpret what was happening.

I knew in the back of my mind that he was just making some crude use of my mouth that was completely demeaning to me on some rational level, but at the same time his total disregard for proper discourse with me made me intoxicated with how raw he was treating me. He wasn't seducing me at all the way every man had tried to seduce me. He was simply using his power to use me, to use my body in the most explicit and nasty way imaginable.

It was like he had suddenly opened a door to what a man really wanted and to a forbidden world of myself that my mind had never even let me think.

Yes, I was sucking his cock to get ahead but it was more than that. It was something personal. I was attracted to his power and the feeling that he acted like he could just take what he wanted. I mean he didn't even try and kiss me first. I was ordered to get on my knees and perform. And I did.

But then he took his cock, put it back into his pants and zipped them up. He reached around and untied the ribbon from my wrists and hair.

"You can sit back down now."

As quickly as he had taken control of me sexually, he had stopped and moved the control back to the discussion of the contract. I sat back down in the chair and he returned to the seat behind his desk.

"So have I made it clear that I am in charge here?"

I was still wiping the saliva from my face and trying to put myself together.

"I think so," I said, smiling at how I had been taken in by the moment.

He took the contract that he had in front of him and turned it toward me, setting his fountain pen on top of it.

"Madison, you need to understand something right now. I have a very particular way of doing things. Yes, it is often the same way as The Agency but your contract is with me and what I want. Is that clear?"

I looked down at the contract and told myself I should probably wait to have a lawyer read through this. But there was something so absolute about what he was saying that it was like getting a taste of a new kind of power you never knew was possible and just wanting to throw yourself into it.

"Yes, it is clear," I responded, picking up the pen and smiling as I signed. The whole moment was just so intoxicating I was ready for whatever was to happen next.

He reached over and extended his hand.

"Welcome to The Agency."