Adventures of Hollywood Jim Ch. 86

When Miley Cyrus starred as a reluctant bounty hunter in a remake of "Hannie Caulder" the film only got so-so reviews but its box office receipts made Hollywood Pictures order a sequel.

There was just one problem, well, several problems.

Chief among them was that Miley wouldn't commit to a sequel.

I wasn't privy to the inside details but Chuck Tyler had been deep in negotiations with the studio and with Miley's people. And from what I could tell, it wasn't going well. I wasn't all that surprised. The film's director, Mark Stein, had differences with the studio. He felt that they hadn't been very supportive of him and were lobbying for someone else to direct the sequel. Add to that the studio was going through upheaval in the front office and those who'd been on board for the first film weren't there now.

And then there was the film's star.

Miley hadn't been very happy with the film even though I saw a rough cut of it with her and she seemed pleased to be playing an adult character. So recasting the lead made the studio nervous. Plus in the time since its release, she'd morphed into the tongue-wagging, weed smoking, twerking Hollywood rebel with a punkish blonde look that replaced the gorgeous redhead I once knew. It was so different that I wondered if there was an "evil twin" hidden away in the mountains of Tennessee who'd somehow escaped and switched places with the girl I knew.

"Maybe it's time you flexed a little muscle." Mark said to me as we ran on the treadmills at Malibu Athletics, a new workout club opened by Brooke Burke and of which Artists Unlimited was a heavy investor (albeit secretly).

"What muscle?" I replied as best I could while running

"You know what I mean...what I told you in San Francisco, remember?"

When we'd been in San Francisco doing a photo gig related to the TV series "Nashville", Mark related his frustration with the studio's handling of "Hannie Caulder" and suggested I sign on as an Associate Producer. The idea being I could ease whatever problems Mark had since the studio knew my work and more importantly, knew Artists Unlimited's influence when it came to casting its clients. So I'd be a "go-between" as it were.

His remark made me stop my run.

"You're not serious about that, are you?"

"Look, Jim. It might be the only way this film gets made."

"Get outta here! How?" I replied, stunned.

"Miley hasn't committed to the film and I think if she drops out this might end up a direct to DVD project that only Wal-Mart shoppers will see. That is if they're not downloading it at home."

"I'm not the one to talk to, it's her people you need to convince."

"But you know her."

"No, I don't!" I said firmly "I'm a friend, that's all."

"A friend who was seen being led to her tour bus, by Miss Miley herself." he said in a tone that seemed to imply that my "relationship" with her could be used against me.

I was speechless and gave him a hard stare, the likes of which had only been seen in movies.

"Are you trying to blackmail me?"

"No! Just trying to get a film made."

"You don't get films made by blackmailing people with no influence."

"I know that!" he said trying to reassure me his intentions were honorable "I just think we'll have a better film with Miley than someone else. The film will get a better push from the studio and all those involved. And that would include you. I don't intend this to be a no-show job, you know."

He had a point, but I knew there was still one aspect he forgot about.

"What about recasting the lead? In case you can't reach a deal with Miley."

"Who do you suggest?"

Perhaps I had the upper hand now.

"Well, I remember how we had a certain actress at that San Francisco dinner who was interested."

Mark thought for a minute, "Hayden?" he replied, clearly surprised.

He was referring to Hayden Panettierre, who'd overheard Mark's complaints and boldly suggested herself for the lead.

"What have you got to lose just testing her?" I said then added "If I remember correctly, that's the same thing I said when you didn't think she was right."

Mark looked like he was giving it serious thought.

"If you want leverage in something like this, that's what you should do. Maybe that'll convince Miss Miley. I get the feeling she doesn't want someone stealing her thunder in something like this."

I finished my run and grabbed my water bottle.

"Think it over, pal."

Two weeks later, a DVD arrived at my desk with a note;

"Tell me what you think."

It was from Mark.

I popped it into my computer and watched.

On what looked like some kind of desert landscape, a horse with no rider trotted up to a solitary figure whose back was to the camera. The figure greeted the horse then turned to the camera.

It was Hayden, in character and looking dangerous with dark red hair and wearing a flat brimmed hat, dusty poncho and black leather chaps. As if hearing a noise near her, she whirled around and drew her weapon, firing off several shots that sounded like a cap pistol.

The next scene had her sitting at a saloon poker table and slowly leaning back in her chair, like she was sizing up a potential quarry.

"Pretty big talk from a one-eyed fat man..." she said

I chuckled a little, I knew it was a famous line said to John Wayne in "True Grit" that prompted a climactic gunfight. In this case, it prompted Hayden to kick over the table and fire her guns.

The last scene had her with an unseen co-star. Hayden looked like she'd been in quite a battle, her shoulder was bloodied.

"This fight ain't over yet..." she hissed through the pain of her wounds "I wanna get that bastard."

"But you're shot! We've gotta get out of here!" a female voice cried

"Just gimme my gun...just gimme my gun..."

The DVD ended there.

I wasn't disappointed, but I hate to say, not necessarily knocked out by it either. I'd seen Miley's take on the character and now that I thought about it, felt the same way. It was a decent film. It all came down to the script, though. I watched it a couple of more times, then called Mark.

"Has the script been finished? I mean, what's the story going to be? You can't just rehash the first film, you know."

"I know...but let me ask you this." he began "What if we could get, say, Jennifer Lawrence in the film?"

"I'd say your budget just got a big increase...but that makes no sense. Someone like her should've been in the first film. Even a dumbbell like me knows you don't replace a lesser star with a bigger star as the lead in a sequel, it's usually the other way round."

"You've got a point there, but the studio wants her. Not me."

"And if she said yes?"

"Like you said, this film would get a whole lot bigger."

"Well, it's your film...I'm just an Associate Producer. If you can get her, I say go for it."

"OK, I'll call you soon."

It turned out that Mark was bluffing like a master Poker player.

When the Hollywood rumor mill broke the news that Jennifer Lawrence could be replacing Miley Cyrus in "The Return of Hannie Caulder", it immediately brought Miley's team back to the negotiating table. Within days, it was announced that Miley would indeed star in the sequel after all. Mark got what he wanted, Miley got what she wanted, and I (reluctantly) got what I wanted. As for that DVD of Hayden's screen test, I kept it as a little souvenir.

"The Return of Hannie Caulder" would find the title character hired by a young girl to track down the killer of her father, who owned valuable land coveted by a railroad baron. Mark originally planned to secure one of the last remaining western town back lots for the film, rather than have a fake one built on location. But once he got a look at the set, one that had been used in countless TV westerns he realized it wouldn't work. So one was hurriedly built at the location on the Mexican coastline while he did interior scenes back in LA. The new location actually worked for him. There was a large resort named The Conquistador nearby and the surrounding area would be good for any scenes "on the trail" as it were. It didn't seem as tough a landscape as what he had on the first film.

Once I saw where the location would be, I decided to take advantage of my status at the company. It had been a long time since I took anything resembling a vacation, so I booked a room at the resort so I'd have a weekend for myself before getting back into the work grind.

When I arrived, I had a strange sense I'd been there before.

"Uh, when did this place open?" I asked the desk clerk.

"We've only been open a few months, we're the new owners." she replied

"Then this place had a different name?"

"Oh, yes. It used to be called Villa del Sol."

My heart nearly jumped out of my body.

"Oh, really?" I croaked out as I got my room key card

Villa del Sol. I thought I'd never be at that place again!

Shady shenanigans there on New Years Eve led to a Federal Investigation that eventually caused the downfall of powerful U.S. Senator. And very nearly the downfall of Artists Unlimited since I was at the resort when much of the shenanigans in question had been going on.

Not participating, mind you, but doing my job.

And now I was back at the same place? For a moment, I considered checking out and sleeping in my car. Then remembered I didn't rent one.

Might as well make the best of a bad(?) situation.

For all the scandal the place had acquired, "The Conquistador" was actually quite nice. The balcony of my room looked out on the beach and the ocean sounds brought back the good memories of that New Years Eve I'd spent here. I smiled as I remembered how my secret friend Laura Austin had surprised me at the bar. Not to mention how Sofia Vergara and I had stood on the balcony New Years morning, and how she was dressed the way much of America (and the world for that matter) dreamed of seeing her.

"OK, Hollywood...let's make some new memories." I said to myself.

The beach was beautiful to say the least. Not too crowded, not too sparse. The beach chairs were plentiful and I was armed with an iPod, sunglasses and neon orange Ron Jon board shorts. But even though I loved having my music, I was more inclined to just let the sun and ocean waves relax me.

Before I knew it, the waves had lulled me to sleep.

"Um...'scuse me?" I heard.

I slowly awakened from my slumber.

"Yes?" I turned to see the voice belonged to a cute blonde in an over sized t-shirt.

"Is it OK if we sit here?"

Apparently the beach chairs had suddenly become a hot commodity.

"Sure...go ahead." I said sleepily.

The blonde was joined by her friend, a pretty brunette in a fishnet-like shirt. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her remove the shirt, revealing a killer body clad in a red candy-striped bikini. I tried not to stare.

"Discipline 007...discipline..." I thought to myself.

They seemed like giggly teens, probably on spring break for all I knew. They were armed with fruity drinks in tall cups that looked like fat batons and designer sunglasses.

"Have you been here long?" the brunette asked.

I looked at my watch.

"Looks like an hour, maybe 2...I fell asleep."

"You're lucky you didn't get burned." she replied with a giggle.

"I guess so. I'm Jim, by the way."

"I'm Ariel, this is my friend Jeanette." she said as the blonde raised her hand and gave a slight wave.

"Where are you from?" Jeanette asked

"LA."

"Us too!" Ariel said giddily

"Let me guess, college girls on spring break?" I asked

The pair looked at one another as if stumped for an answer.

"Uh, no, just a girl's weekend." Ariel finally said.

"Looks like you picked the right place."

"I know, it's so beautiful here." Ariel said looking around.

"I'm gonna get a refill...you want anything, Jim?" Jeanette asked

"Oh, uh, whatever you're having."

"Cool." she said as she headed for the beach side bar.

"I'm gonna check out the waves." Ariel said as she took my hand "Come on."

"Hey, never refuse a lady's offer."

The ocean was a beautiful deep blue with just a slight breeze and gentle waves. We wandered into the water, Ariel shrieking as the water hit her body and mine. Her brunette hair looked great against the blue of the water. She was gently treading water and looking at me as we stood close together.

"You've got a great tan, you're lucky you don't burn...I always seem to." she said

"I guess...you've got a good one going too."

"Yeah...too bad it can't be an all over one, you know...no strap marks."

"Like from a tanning bed?"

"No, like from a nude beach." she giggled "Those tanning beds, like, give you cancer."

"Oh, right, right."

This girl, on a nude beach? Oh, man...the possibilities! There were other possibilities racing through my mind too.

"Are you staring at my boobs?"

I was brought back, no, make that crashed back to reality.

"Me? Oh...no, uh, I was, uh..."

"I don't mind." she said as she moved any stray strands of hair aside so I could see them better "Makes me feel pretty."

"You'd be pretty even without that. You've got beautiful eyes too, same color as mine." I said as I slid my sunglasses down for proof

Ariel smiled shyly

"Aw, thank you...you're a sweet guy." she said as she stood closer to me.

She put her arms around me and I found myself leaning in to kiss her. She gave me a beaming smile, then returned my kiss.

"I liked that." she said

"I did too."

We kissed again, a little deeper this time.

Ariel looked around and could tell her friend was back with the drinks.

"I'll be right back, stay here." she said and quickly made her back to the beach.

I saw her say something to Jeanette, then come back into the water. She gracefully dived through a small wave and swam out to where I was.

"Nice form." I said

"Thanks." she laughed as she ran her fingers through her hair and smoothed it out.

"I'll bet it dries pretty quick in this sun."

"It probably will."

Ariel looked at me and I felt her hand on the crotch of my suit.

"What're you doing?" I asked playfully

"What do you think?"

"I think you're trying to...imply something."

"Good guess."

Ariel looked around the area. There were enough people around that probably had no idea what she was doing.

"Come on..." she said as she took my hand.

Ariel led me to an area by some large rocks that seemed to have little caves or bits of beach around them. Along with some large, smooth rocks that seemed to catch enough water to keep them cool to the touch.

"You seem to know this area." I said

"Yeah, I did some exploring here yesterday." she said as she slowly wrapped herself in my arms and we leaned back against some smooth rocks. My dick was super hard as it rubbed against the front of her bikini bottom and we kissed.

"Oh...that feels nice..." she said softly.

"You feel nice too."

Ariel looked at me, then looked again to see if we were alone. Then she loosened her bikini top and slowly revealed her tits to me. They were beautifully full and her nipples were hard too.

"Go ahead...you can touch them." she said with a smile.

I wanted to do more than touch them!

I slowly began to fondle her tits, caressing the nipples while kissing Ariel, who was very turned on. She began to moan and sigh the more I felt her and kissed her neck.

"Ohhhh...yeah...oh yesss..." she sighed.

I moved down and began to suck on her tits, they tasted a little salty but I didn't care.

Ariel's hands now went for the sides of my suit and she tried to pull it down. Once she did she let out a little gasp of surprise as my dick came into view.

"Wow...I've never seen one like that..." she said with a giggle.

"You can touch it if you want." I said

"I wanna do more than that."

She immediately pulled her bikini bottom down, revealing a beautiful pussy with wisps of jet black hair around it.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close to kiss her. As we did, I moved my dick and slipped it inside her pussy. Ariel sighed and her generous chest heaved upward as I entered her fully. She let out a child-like sound as I began to fuck her against the rocks.

Her breathing became more rapid as we fucked, her legs wrapped around the back of mine. I leaned back a little so I could see those tits of hers bounce up and down.

"God your tits are amazing!" I somehow said.

"Oh my god...oh yes...oh god..." she gasped, her eyes closed, head thrown back.

I kept thrusting into her, her pussy felt so good.

"Oh...oh...oh...ohmigod...ohmigod..." she gasped

The speed at which this was all happening was incredible. I knew I'd explode soon, very soon.

"I-I-I wanna cum on your tits..." I said

"Yes...don't cum inside me...I'm not protected..." she said

Ariel quickly knelt down and jerked my dick, keeping her tits close.

It didn't take long!

With a groan, I exploded onto her tits.

She was beaming as she got every drop out of me and licked around the head of my dick. She then stood up and kissed me deeply.

"Wow, you had a lot in you!" she laughed as she looked at her tits and dabbed my cum on her fingers.

"Sorry it was so quick." I panted "Um...did you...um..."

"Oh, I loved it!" she smiled happily "It was perfect. Here, feel me." Ariel took my hand and place it on her pussy. It still felt warm and wet as I began to slowly rub it. She giggled a little, then gave a little gasp. I slipped a finger inside her and she moaned, her nude body arching slightly. She reached for my dick and stroked it it a little as I fingered her.

She looked out at the ocean.

"Good thing we're so close, come on." she said

Ariel didn't bother to put her suit back on and, well, neither did I.

We splashed around in the ocean, she looked even better now with her tits bouncing in the waves and when she dove underwater and her cute ass was in the sun. We soon moved closer to shore where the water was only knee deep and knelt down in the water, kissing and fondling each other some more as the waves gently caressed our bodies.

"Stand up, I wanna make you feel good." she said

I stood and she took my dick and fondled it in her hands "Ooooh this is so hot" she said before slowly sliding it into her mouth. Even if I didn't cum it felt incredible having my dick sucked in the sunlight, on a beach in Mexico by a busty beauty I'd just met. She really knew what she was doing. I wanted more of her. I gently moved her head off my dick.

"My turn."

We switched places and my mouth went straight for her pussy. She loudly moaned as my tongue penetrated her, she tasted so sweet. I could feel her hands on my head as I licked her more and more until her body trembled and a sweet warmth was on my tongue. She knelt down and we kissed again deeply in the ocean waves.

"This was fun...I loved it!" she laughed "You were great!"

"You're something too."

We kissed again, then she looked back at the shore.

"I think we should get back, Jeanette's probably wondering where I went." she said

Ariel and I quickly dressed and returned to the now more crowded beach area.

"Hey, where you been?" she asked.

"Just showing Jim those rocks we were at yesterday." she said with a sly smile added.

"Uh-huh, I'll bet!" Jeannette laughed

"Uh, can I buy you girls dinner?"

"Sorry, we've got other plans. We're supposed to meet my cousin...but maybe tomorrow?" Ariel said as they gathered up their things.

"Sure, that'll be good."

"OK, I'll see you here tomorrow then...I wanna explore those caves."

"That's something you don't see everyday." I thought as they walked back to the hotel.

Now I was the one smiling and feeling cool.

But the next day I didn't see Ariel or her friend, nor the day after that. And I had stupidly forgotten to ask her last name. Or for that matter if they were even guests here. I spent the remaining time on a deck chair, watching the waves, dozing on the beach and getting a nasty sunburn.