Adventures of Jenny McCarthy Ch. 1

Chapter 1: PLAYBOY

[The following is a never-before-printed excerpt from a magazine interview with Jenny McCarthy. It was never published for obvious reasons. Other excised portions of the interview will be revealed later, if readers are interested]

Posing in Playboy changed my career, but it changed me personally, too.

INTERVIEWER: How do you mean?

Well, I always loved that I had a great body, and I loved sex, but once I started posing for Playboy, I just felt I so sexy all of the time.

It's a real turn-on to have photo shoots and videos dedicated to how hot and sexy you are. And they get you to pose in these erotic positions and at these great locations. They tell you just how to show off your body, and I did even better because I can make these great "I want sex" expressions. You roll around in silk sheets, and play with your boobs and stuff.

And when I got to the video shoots? God, it really gets you feeling horny. I mean, they basically tell you to play with yourself. You rub all over your body, play with your tits, grind your hips in some dirty motions. But my favorites were the "wet" shoots. Y'know, you're in the rain or a bath tub, just sliding your hands all over your wet body... It's just great.

My favorite was one where I was like some Roman or Greek princess, or something, and I'm standing in this bath tub with oils and liquid soap. I was just supposed to run my hands all over my body, getting all oily and soapy. It was really turning me on, too!

I was getting covered in the soap and slid my hand over my slippery tits and butt. Wow, I was really going at it after a while. It just felt so sexy! They let you slip your hands between your legs, too. Now, you don't really stick 'em inside or anything, but just sliding your hands over the outside of your pussy lips turns you on. And one when the director yelled "cut", I didn't stop playing with myself. I was so aroused, I just kept rubbing my tits and... well, never mind... I shouldn't...

INTERVIEWER: Oh, come on, tell us!

Well, I couldn't take teasing myself anymore, so I ignored the director and started rubbing my pussy like crazy, moving my hips back and forth. Eventually, I just let a finger slip between my cunt lips, and I had gone to far at that point. I started sliding my finger in and out as far as I could, and by then I was moaning.

I sat down in the tub and watched my pussy while I slipped another finger inside. I did it faster and faster until I was really finger-fucking myself. I started grunting and soon I was fucking my pussy with one hand and holding open my pussy lips with the other. I lost control and finally came really hard, bucking and shaking, just laying in the bath tub completely naked.

As I recovered, I realized that the whole crew had just stood there, amazed at what I did. I was so damn turned on that I didn't care that they had watched and licked my own juices off of my fingers.

After that video, things changed. I had finally given up on thinking of posing as a job. I even stopped wearing robes on the sets and just stayed naked all of the time. I just stopped caring about anything but feeling sexy and making everyone want me. Between takes, I pretty much spent all my time in the trailer masturbating over and over. Sometimes I didn't even take time out for lunch. Besides, I couldn't go anywhere because, like I said, I was naked all day long.

More often than not, I'd finish off a shoot by fingering myself until I came. Everyone working for Playboy wanted to be on my photo shoots. The cameramen and crew requested it. All that time, no one even suggested I stopped doing what I was doing. They were mostly all guys, anyway. What were they gonna say, "Hey, Jenny, stop prancing around naked. You're really making me hot"? And I was, too. I could see most of the guys had constant erections when I was around. Jesus, some of them even stained their pants. I was such a damn tease!

There was one video shoot where I just went over the edge, though. The setting was some Mexican mission or a fort, or some damn thing. What's the fucking difference, right? It was done all outdoors and it was pretty hot that day.

The reason I went over the edge, though, was because there was a guy with me in the video. Playboy does that sometimes, though not often. So, in this scene we were supposed to make out with each other. Keep in mind, I was topless to begin with, wearing this short, flowery skirt and thin panties underneath. So we start kissing in the scene, and the guy has to slide my panties off. I was so fucking aroused over that! How couldn't you be?

So, now, there I am in the light skirt and nothing else, hanging all over this guy wearing just a pair of jeans and no shirt. He kissed my tits sometimes, but mostly we frenched each other. Jesus, it was getting so hot on that set! We were really kissing and licking and sucking each others mouth, and he was running his hands all over my body, as my tits rubbed against his chest.

We were going at it pretty heavy when I took the next step and grabbed the bulge in his shorts. He was hard, of course! He was surprised at first, but just went with it, trying to go on with the shoot, but I was merciless. I started stroking him hard through his jeans and I was driving him crazy. He grabbed hold of my ass, and humped against my hand. I felt his hands squeezing my ass and by now I was dripping wet. My skirt had fallen off at some point, so I was totally naked now, just dry humping this guy I had just met.

Finally, I had to have him, and with a dirty, evil grin on my face, I unzipped his jeans and yanked them down to his knees. The entire crew gasped, and I heard some equipment fall over as the guy's big hard cock sprang out. I said something like, "Oh, yeah", and grabbed his dick and started rubbing it up and down. "Oh, Christ!" he grunted and pulled me closer. I started stroking faster and just grinned sinfully, as I watched the swollen purple head of his cock pop out from my fist and disappear again.

He was now grunting and whispering incoherently as I kept on beating his meat. He kept his hands kneading my asscheeks, holding on for dear life. I watched the precum ooze from his cock and drip down, making his cock more slippery and easier to stroke.

Meanwhile, my pussy was soaked, but for some reason I wasn't thinking about riding him. I just wanted to see him cum! My hands moved faster and faster and he was know thrusting against me, helping to pump his red hot prick into my hand. It was like he was fucking my fist.

Nobody was saying much at the time, but I remember the director saying "keep the camera rolling."

I was panting and getting hot flashes, but I just couldn't stop masturbating this guy. Finally, his breathing became ragged. I could barely understand the words when he said, "Ugnh, I'm gonna..." And his body tensed and I watched his cockhead swell. His whole body twitched and he came, his cum spurting out with more force than I've seen. The first burst landed on my chin, but I just kept pumping. The next couple of blasts landed on my tits and on my stomach.

A couple more times his gooey white cum dribbled out of his dick all over my hands, then his legs gave out and we toppled over, him on top. I screamed and giggled as we fell. I gained, like, superhuman strength or something, because I held him up with one hand and continued to squeeze the last of his cum out with my other hand.

He lay on top of me panting now, and there was now a sloppy mess between us, running from my tits to my bush and coating his cock. I swept my hand between our bodies and through the slimy mess of semen, which now covered my hand and wrist. I brought it up to my lips and tried to clean it off with my tongue. Most of it just made a sticky mess all over my face as I tried to scoop his cum into my mouth. While he still lay on me panting, I brought my other hand between my legs and started fingering my pussy and flicking my thumb against my clit. I slurped his cum and frigged myself contentedly until he whispered, "let me help you with that."

He reached down and put his hand on top of my own, helping me finger my cunt. I grunted and moaned as my pussy opened up, accommodating the extra fingers he slid deep inside.

He slowly slid down my body and licked at my inner thighs, so very close to my steaming hot sex. He then licked at my outer lips, making me pant, and then kissed them, sometimes flicking his tongue against my clit. I was growling, grabbing his head and humping against his face until he finally stuck his tongue deep inside me and started going at it like he was eating dessert.

My juices flowed out of my cunt and he greedily slurped it all up. My feet were now scrambling at the ground as I tried to force his face somehow further inside my pussy. Then, my body had enough, and I came hard, crying out as my body convulsed in some kind of orgasmic seizure, as I thrust my big tits into the air.

I slowly came down from my orgasm and he came back up to my face and we kissed each other, ravenously sucking and licking our tongues, and I was panting once again. I knew he was hard again, because I could feel his hot erection rubbing against my stomach.

"Please," I moaned, trying to speak as we kissed, "fuck me..."

He grinned at me. "Just what I was thinking," he said.

He moved down between my legs and slowly teased my pussy, slowly sliding the head of his prick up and down my slit. I reached down and grabbed his cock, guiding it inside. "Please..." I whimpered. He finally obliged and slipped his head into my cunt. I gasped, and he paused for just a moment. Then, he slooowly pushed his big hard dick up inside of me, and I gasped and panted until he was in all the way, the lips of my pussy kissing the base of his cock. Then he stopped again, breathing heavily, and then he pulled himself almost entirely out of me just as slowly as he pushed in. It drove me absolutely wild, and I grunted and whimpered.

He then slid back inside more quickly and back out again, picking up the pace every time. He got a rhythm going and went in and out again and again, pumping my pussy for all it's worth. By this time I was babbling and making noises like "Grruunghh... Ahouuhhh... Hmmphhh..." I felt the head of his cock deep inside my cunt and could feel my juices running out of my pussy, making my thighs wet, and I'm sure his cock was glistening in my juices, too. Later I found out those juices made a puddle

I brought my hands up under my tits and noticed for the first time that we were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. I slid my hands up over the slick flesh of my tits. I started to squeeze them and slide them together, every so often twisting my nipples between my fingertips. It all seemed to intensify my senses, and I felt every part of my body dripping with sweat and moving against his body.

Amazingly, his fucking intensified and he lay down on top of me as he pounded my aching mound. I desperately tried to wrap my legs around him, and my calves kept sliding around on his slick, sweaty ass. I flung my arms around his neck and held on as if my life depended on it.

I knew it was almost over and savored every feeling. My throbbing pussy. My hot, swollen cunt lips rubbing against his slippery shaft. My big tits pushed against his body. My nipples, so hard and erect that they were sore, rubbing against his chest.

I felt it building finally, and knew it was time. I held him and cried out even before I came. Then, I felt the muscles of my cunt clamp around his shaft, and what came next was a blur. When my orgasm hit, spasms shocked my cunt. All feeling in my body seemed to flow from between my legs, and I felt my body shaking out of control. All I saw were bright flashes in front of my eyes, like fireworks, and all I heard was our voices, crying out as we shuddered.

I don't really remember it ending, but I just found myself laying on the ground, in his arms, our bodies weak from our fucking. We panted, our breaths shallow. I cleared my head and looked around. I moved my body a bit and could feel the sloppy wet mess that covered our bodies. Sweat and cum was all I could smell, and I slowly ran my hand around our crotches. Everything was wet, and I saw that his cum had dribbled out from my cunt lips and matted down my trimmed triangle of dark hair.

Finally, I looked over at the crew, almost forgetting they had been their. They all stood silently, in awe of what they had seen. Their breathing was almost as labored as ours, and I noticed bulges in all the men's pants. Some even had wet stains. There were only two women on the set, and I saw one of them had soaked through her shorts. I grinned happily at them all and hugged the man who gave me the fuck of my life.

Some wiseass started clapping, and the others slowly joined in. I heard the applause and giggled, raising my hand to them like a queen waving to her subjects. The applause turned into cheers as I lightly kissed my man.

Neither of us cared that all these people had seen us have sex, or that we were completely naked in front of them now. Slowly, we decided we had enough rest, and helped each other to our feet, unsteady as they were. We saw that our bodies were a complete mess. We walked arm in arm as sweat and cum dripped off us. I noted the dull aches in my pussy and my nipples as I walked along through the crowd of gawkers.

We made our way to my trailer. It was time to clean ourselves up. Did I already mention how much I loved the bath-tub scenes...?

THE END

[NOTE: Just in case you couldn't tell, this is not really a magazine excerpt, and this never happened, though there is a video shoot the last scene is based on.]