Afternoon Tea Ch. 03

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Sophie is hiding her feelings and Cole is suspicious.
829 words
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Part 3 of the 7 part series

Updated 10/29/2022
Created 06/10/2009
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inviolate
inviolate
49 Followers

Sophie's mind raced as she faced Cole. "Isn't it obvious?" she tossed out, stalling. But he refused to be drawn, merely shaking his head. Sophie noticed with dismay that the colour in his cheeks had begun to fade and knew it wouldn't be long before his logical mind began to apply itself to the mystery of her spinsterhood.

"I don't quite see why you're so interested in so trifling a matter," she said, affecting a yawn and watching his reaction through lowered lashes.

"If it's so trifling, why not just tell me?"

"Perhaps because I barely remember it."

Which was a lie. She remembered that day vividly. It had happened in this very drawing room. She remembered a fearful suitor standing in front of a window, fumbling his way through a rehearsed speech; family, honour and mutual esteem. Long, pale fingers clutching an unscratched walking stick. Listening hard, trying not to think about how a halo of spring sunshine revealed a thinning patch in fine blonde hair. Or how much she wanted to be breathing in a familiar scent of mingled leather and bay rum soap instead of Roger's flowery cologne. Far from insensible to the compliment that was being paid to her, Sophie had sipped tea and grown more sad with every timid word.

After Stephens had bowed a confused Roger from the room, Sophie had sat alone in the darkening parlour. When night began to draw in, one of the braver maids tried to creep in to lay a fire in the cold hearth, only to be ordered sharply out.

It was deep in that shadow-soaked vigil when Sophie had first understood the bittersweet truth. Her soul was not her own but Cole's. And Cole was married. She had wept until dawn.

A loud snort pulled her from the past.

"You "barely remember" receiving a proposal of marriage from the eldest son of one of the wealthiest landowners in the county, a man feted by every match-making mama in England and you -" Stopping abruptly, Cole coughed and grabbing up a piece of the neglected gingerbread, stuffed it into his mouth. Chewing hard, he waved one hand airily at her as though she had been the one to stop speaking.

Sophie knew what he had been about to say. Three years ago, she had been very nearly "on the shelf". For a woman of advanced age and only moderate expectations, an offer of marriage from one such as Lord D'Argent should have been considered a miracle. It was nothing she hadn't thought a thousand times since - why was her throat burning to know that now Cole thought it too?

"I didn't marry Roger because I could not love him," she managed to snarl. Unable to meet his eyes - Sophie didn't know what she would do if she found pity in them - she picked up a piece of gingerbread and took a savage bite.

"Soph, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distress you," Cole said.

Ignoring him, she continued to cram the disgusting cake into her mouth only to find incipient tears had closed her throat, forcing her to swallow again and again until she was nearly retching.

"Stop, please, you'll make yourself ill," implored Cole to a resolutely deaf Sophie.

Several uncomfortable minutes later, she slapped sticky crumbs from her hands and glared at a guilty looking Cole. The self-pity and humiliation which had threatened to engulf her were now turning to ash in the flames of welcome anger. How dare he question her as if she were trying to hide something from him. Which she was, but he didn't know that. Now he thought she was a naïve, romantic girl, pining for true love. Which she had been, but he didn't know that!

<i>Fine. What's good for the goose is good for the gander</i>. Since his wife's death, Sophie had respected Cole's unspoken wishes and avoided asking him about Bella. Although they spoke freely and frankly about everything else, around his marriage there lay a shroud of secrets and silent dishonour. Out of love for him and, if she were truthful with herself, for fear of what she may hear, Sophie allowed Cole to direct what little conversation they had of Bella. But no longer. Balling her fists, she attacked.

"If it is time to unburden our souls, then there is something which has always puzzled me. Why did you send Bella away? Her behaviour was embarrassing, yes, but it was nothing that you couldn't have smoothed away, nothing that half the <i>ton</i> don't get up to themselves.

"But instead of just looking the other way as would other men, you practically booted her from the county. Which evidently wasn't enough because Marianne told me you wouldn't rest until Bella had sailed for Calais. Why would you risk causing talk like that? And although Bea doesn't speak of her mother now, she will one day. What are you planning to tell her?"

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