Afternoon Tea Ch. 06

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#"Cole?"

Tugging her over to a chaise longue, he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Looking down into her trusting eyes nearly caused his courage to fail so he tucked her head under his chin.

"Soph…"

He paused to hook a curl pinned between their bodies and draw it back over her shoulder. "I had always known that Bella and I were to wed. It was an decision made before either of us were even born."

Sophie nodded her agreement. It was common knowledge that Cole and Bella's fathers had long planned to unite their estates by having their children marry. Moreover, Cole knew that, as a lady of good family, she understood that most marriages in the ton were contracts made to increase wealth, land and status.

He continued, "Even knowing that I could never offer for you, I loved you. Although I never told her, I am sure Bella knew what you meant to me. And when she told me there was a way I could have you naked and underneath me, at last -"

Watching the climb of Sophie's blush was sweet agony. It wasn't until tentative fingers began to stroke at his chest that he realised she'd unbuttoned his shirt. Cole held his breath as Sophie pressed her fingertips into the pad of muscle above his nipple.

"So firm," she murmured in obvious approval.

When her fingers began to explore his nipple, tickling gently, he gasped.

"Sweetheart…" he said, jouncing her a little in warning.

"You don't like that?" she asked, snatching her hand back and flushing beet red.

"Quite the contrary."

Sophie flicked him a disbelieving look and made to get up, pulling a rumbled Uh-uh from Cole. Tightening his arms around her, he captured an earlobe between his teeth and tugged. Half-huffing, half sighing Sophie settled back down only to sit bolt upright as her mind identified the large, rigid presence under her bottom.

"See?" Scrutinising the muslin covered bosom inches from his nose, Cole decided that if this was all going to be taken away from him, as surely must happen once Sophie understood what had happened with Bella, then he was not going to stop himself now. These stolen fragments of love where going to have to last him the rest of his life.

Muttering nonsense words of longing into her ear, he freed a pink tipped breast from her gown. Only dimly registering Sophie's moan, Cole slowly dragged the tip of a finger over her budding nipple. Then, instead of taking it between his lips as he longed to, he pulled her dress back up.

"Did you like that?" he asked, his voice rough with desire.

Sophie slapped at his chest and nuzzled closer. "You know I did, you insufferable cad."

"Well, then, don't be such a ninny."

"Bounder."

"Minx."

All was quiet in the pink drawing room as Cole and Sophie held each other for long minutes. Finally, Sophie cleared her throat and sat back.

"But I interrupted you, darling - pray, continue."

The despair that had lifted with the erotic teasing, engulfed Cole once again.

Stop delaying the inevitable, man! She deserves to know who - what - you really are.

Groping for a way to explain his secret shame, he said "You must understand, I had played with you as a child, danced with you at your first ball, watched better men than I try for your attention… sometimes I felt like I could barely breathe for want of you. Every second I spent with you was hell - because every second was heaven. Bella knew exactly what she was doing when she came to me with that plan."

Cole shuddered, remembering the moment when his soul had twisted between his hunger for Sophie and his bone-deep need to protect her from harm.

"I nearly said yes. And she knew it. I nearly let Bella take my desire and turn it into something she could use to hurt you. So I made her leave. Because she wanted to humiliate you and hurt me, hurt us, and I couldn't trust myself to stop her.

"And that's why I've never said anything to you though I've been free for nearly two years. Because you deserve so much better than an immoral deviant. But when you tell me that you want me too… how could I resist that? I couldn't. Which only proves again how much of a bastard I truly am."

Cole rested his cheek against her hair and closed his eyes in resignation. Only to have his head snapped back up by the shocking trickle of warm moisture on his throat.

"Oh God, you're crying, please Sophie love, stop crying, please, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have let this happen, I'll go away, I'll never mphmmmph -"

Sophie pressed her forehead to the hand she'd slapped over his mouth and cried harder. Each sob shook her little body and seemed to wrench at something vital inside him. Helpless tears gathered in his own eyes as he stared down at her bent head. Never before had he felt this remorseless horror, this mind numbing slide into icy despair, as he did now, watching Sophie weep. Eventually, she pulled out a handkerchief and wiped at her face with a trembling hand.

"You are disgusted. You should be. I betrayed you, in thought if not in deed," he said dully. He said the words as a condemned man would cast his transgressions before an uncaring king - not through hope of mercy but in utter desolation.

Sophie quietened. Taking his head in her hands, she bumped noses with him, once, twice, then pressed a kiss so gentle to his lips that, for a moment, Cole feared he would start crying again. Her mouth was swollen and he could taste the faintest trace of her tears.

"You are a good and honourable man. I know that is true and nothing you say can ever persuade me otherwise. And after all, you did make the right choice. So please Cole… marry me?"

"You… forgive me?" Cole's voice was thick with hope. She answered him with a kiss.