Ambrosia

This is actually two stories, "The Father" and "Ambrosia". Literotica won't allow a story less than 750 words, and "The Father" is less then 200, so I squeezed it in here, because its very similar in both setting and tone.

— Author

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The Father

His sister Hera, in one of her moments of bitchiness, refused to share his bed this evening. Zeus, in his frustration and anger, held his mighty staff in his hand, using all of the power he could muster.

With a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning, he rained cum down on the ancient Greeks in the form of a mighty storm, impregnating hundreds in his wicked moment of auto erotic lust, creating an entire bloodline of new artists and scientists and intellectuals, gifted with the talents inherited by having a lusty god for a father.

"Jesus Christ," Hera yelled from two planets away. "I hope you're going to clean up that mess."

He smiled, leaving it unattended.

Most of the descendants of that one storm went on to write erotica on the Internet, posting primarily on Literotica, where incest is the widely preferred fetish of choice.

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Ambrosia

"You have to go over the guest list with me," Hera said.

With his back safely to her, Zeus rolled his eyes. His sister, the Greek goddess of love and marriage, was definitely not also the goddess of parties. She stressed out too much. She wanted everything to be perfect.

But parties made her horny, and she was a fantastic lay, so Zeus went along with it. Her sexual talents were the main reason he'd married her, that and because she was, after all, the Greek goddess of love and marriage. Who was better suited to become the consort of the king of the gods?

He picked up one of the paper cups to get a better look at the pattern wrapped around its side, and winced. The cups featured a parade of satyrs and nymphs engaged in a variety of curious, entertaining, and sometimes physically impossible acts of love.

It wasn't that he minded the pictures. They were both amusing and arousing. They just really didn't fit with the theme of the party. Satyrs and nymphs weren't very closely related to each other, and they weren't quite gods. Still, the goat hooves and barely nubile bodies had a definite appeal.

"Are you listening?" she asked. "Come on, the first couples will be here any minute."

He turned to her, glassy eyed but reconciled to his fate. Actually being married to his sister was very different from what he'd expected it to be. Obviously she was good in bed, and she was a goddess, after all, but beyond that, she really had turned into something of a matronly shrew. She had her charms in the sack, yes, but he could have shared them whenever he wished and still married someone else. He'd certainly had enough other lovers since he'd married her.

"First, all of the usuals will be here. All the Egyptians we know, Tefnut and Shu, and their two kids Nut and Geb, and their four chidren Set and Osiris, and the twin girls, Nephthys and Isis."

"Are they going to stay on opposite sides of the room, never talking, like usual?"

Hera gave him an icy, condescending stare.

"Set cut off and lost their brother's penis, dear. Isis was rather fond of that penis. You can hardly expect them to be more than politely civil to each other after that, even if they are family."

"So what? She made him a new one, didn't she? Odds are, she made some improvements on it at the same time. I'm sure she's quite happy with things now. I always see her smiling."

Hera continued down the list, ignoring his sordid observations.

"Njord is leaving his giantess wife at home, thank goodness, and more properly bringing his sister Nirdu, and their two kids, the twins, Freyr and Freyja."

"He finally talked them into it? But I thought they didn't..."

"They still say they don't. I think it's kind of cute the way they're so coy about it. But Loki insists that they do, even if they won't admit it. Freyja loves erotic poetry, I hear. There's no way she and her brother Freyr aren't..."

"Of course they are. I can't believe they feel the need to hide it. We're gods, for Christ's sake. It's what we do. Okay, well, who else?"

He'd let a hint of growing impatience creep into his voice, earning him a long, silent glare from his sister before she continued.

"Let's see, umm, and then we have the twins, Yama and his twin sister Yami, from India."

"Another god of the dead? And they both are. I don't know why the Hindus need two. But so's Osiris. And Hades. Too many gods of the dead. Why so many gods of the dead? It's supposed to be a party," he said gloomily.

"I guess gods of the dead like parties," she answered, "and their sisters." She added that last part with a loving, leering twinkle in her eye. She was clearly trying to lighten his mood.

"Hades doesn't," Zeus said, trying to be difficult. "He's into his niece, Persephone."

"You've been into your daughter, too, if I recall, and she's your niece, as well," Hera said a touch frostily. She never let him forget that little episode. "Oh, and Persephone's bringing Dionysos. He's bringing the wine."

"That little faggot?"

"Zeus, hush. He's your son. And your grandson. And your grandnephew. Anyway, he just looks effeminate."

"I don't see him hooking up with his sister, or anyone else, for that matter."

"He doesn't have a sister, and you know it. And don't even think about giving him one. You and that slut Demeter are not having another child."

"Don't talk about our sister that way, dear."

"Anyway, Demeter is coming with Poseidon."

Zeus let his eyes glaze over again. Poseidon was the smart brother, he thought. Dad always said he was smarter. He'd certainly picked the right sister to marry. If Zeus had known then what rang her bell, he could have turned himself into a stallion for her, too. Poseidon just thought of it first.

He got her eventually, though, without having to marry her. Fuck, he was Zeus, he'd gotten just about every woman there was, and Hera only caught about half of them. Too bad she tended to turn them into unspeakable monsters and things when she did.

But Demeter was a wild fuck, and Hera wouldn't dare touch her. She was almost as good in bed as their daughter.

"Are you listening to me?" Hera was asking.

"What? Oh, yes dear."

"Like I said, no turning into some outrageously well endowed animal tonight, do you hear me? Not you, or your brother The Great God of the Seas," she said sarcastically. "And no slipping off with any of the guests. The both of you are to stay in human form, with Demeter and me and the rest of the guests. Do you hear me?"

He grinned at her, reaching out to rub her cheek tenderly with the back of his hand.

"You got quite raucous last night when I took the form of a bull, didn't you, dear?"

Hera blushed. She really was sweet when he pushed the right buttons, and when he found the right kink to please her particular sexual appetite of the moment. She was a complex woman, a very complex woman. Hell, of course she was. She was a goddess.

"Yes, well, that was last night, and with me. Not at this party, thank you," she scolded, but rather meekly. When he got her both flustered and aroused, she was so cute. It was very endearing. Maybe they had time for a quickie before the party.

She held his eyes, before dropping them to her list.

"And I have three surprise guests, a father and his son and daughter."

"What? Who?" Zues said, shifting to try to read the names on her list. She snatched it back and held it against her ample breast before he came close.

"That's my surprise," she said, eyes twinkling "Now go make sure there are enough of those little satyr and nymph napkins at all of the tables, and pour the ambrosia into the bowls. The guests will be here any minute."

* * *

The great hall of Olympus, as large as it was, was almost packed with gods and goddesses of every shape, size, form and nationality. It was quite an assemblage. Zeus hovered around for a while, just listening in on conversations, while he tried to figure out whom his next consort might be.

More and more gods and goddesses arrived every moment. Zeus kept looking for the mystery guests, but there was no sign of them, no omens, no portents, no oracles, nothing. Curiosity was killing him. He thought he knew all the gods.

* * *

Poseidon stood by the door with Demeter, greeting the guests. He'd beaten Zeus to the job by volunteering before the issue came up. This way, he'd be the first to meet the mystery guests.

A rather ornate oriental chariot arrived. It was Fu Xi, and his sister Numa, from China. Poseidon remembered talking to them at the last party.

"Talk about a couple that can't keep their hands off each other," his sister said in a soft voice, while they were exiting the chariot. "Did you know they single handedly repopulated China after the flood?"

"I doubt he did that with his hands," he replied, before smiling warmly to welcome them.

* * *

"So, Isis, I've been meaning to ask you," Gaia said. She was draped lasciviously over the shoulder of her son Ouranus, virtually smothering him. He smiled happily as he nuzzled her ear seductively. At the same time, her hands never stopped moving over his body.

"Yes, Gaia, ask her," chimed in Xochiquetzal. "We really must know."

Isis looked the woman over. She was short, with very dark skin and hair, and a round, slightly heart shaped face. She was certainly pretty, though, and very lusty, very fitting for a goddess of love and sexual pleasure. Not many religions actually had a goddess of sexual pleasure, she thought. The Aztecs were an interesting people.

"Go ahead," she said.

"No, I can't. Xochi, dear, you ask her."

The Aztec goddess looked furtively around before continuing, searching the room. Her eyes fell upon her own twin brother, Xochipilli, himself the Aztec god of beauty, dance and flowers. He was the patron of homosexuals and gay prostitutes, supposedly, but Isis didn't buy it. They could pretend all they wanted, she thought, but the goddess of sexual pleasure and her brother, almost a god of sexual pleasure himself, were simply not as chaste with each other as they pretended.

They were as bad as Freyr and Freyja, dancing around the subject and never admitting to it. You'd think they were all human.

Once Xochiquetzal seemed sure that her brother wasn't close enough to hear, she continued, after first lowering her voice.

"Okay, Isis," she said, "I know this is a touchy subject."

They were going to ask about his cock, she realized, stiffening and preparing herself. Someone always asked it at every one of these parties. Gaia had even heard it all before, but was clearly playing along for Xochiquetzal's sake, and because she just liked the subject.

"When Set cut off your brother's, um, phallus..."

"His cock."

"Yes, his cock. When Set cut off Osiris' cock, and you made him a new one..."

"Yes?"

"How much bigger did you make it?"

Isis held the woman's eyes. She wanted to ask her how much bigger she would have made her own brother's cock, had she been put into in that position, but she held her tongue.

"Four inches."

The Aztec goddess's almond shaped eyes became wide circles. Gaia giggled.

"Four? Four? Oh dear. How long...?"

"Eleven inches in the end, give or take."

"Wow. A whole four. Wasn't he insulted? I mean, didn't he think that meant he didn't have enough to satisfy you before?"

"No, not at all," Isis said, smiling. "I just put on my innocent, little girl eyes and told him that that was how I remembered it, as I gently rubbed his new cock through his tunic. He bought the whole thing. The dumb shit still hasn't stopped grinning. He virtually wouldn't stop using it for a few centuries after I told him that. I barely got any rest."

The girls all had a good laugh. Isis didn't even mention how much she'd added to it in thickness, too, or how she'd added a sweet little extra double curve and twist to it, and those were the best parts.

* * *

Every head was instantly aimed at the door. People leaned and twisted and teetered, trying to get a view of the new guests.

"Jesus Christ!" said Zeus.

"Oh, shit, not him. Why would anyone invite him to a party like this? Those are the three mystery guests? The father, the son, and the holy..."

"No, no, I don't mean that's who it is, I was, you know, blaspheming."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't take my name in vain," said Hades.

"Mine, either," said Set.

"Same here," said Njord.

"Who'd take your name in vain, anyway?" Set asked him derisively.

"All right, all right," Zeus cut in, trying to forestall a feud that would probably last a millennium. They always did. "Calm down. Jesu... I mean, look, do you want to know who it was?"

"Yeah. Did you see them?"

"Yup. Poseidon is greeting them at the door now. The girl looks pretty hot."

"Well, come on. Who is it?"

* * *

He wore glasses. Gods don't wear glasses, but he did, wire framed ones, that made him look like an intellectual.

They must be an affectation, Poseidon thought, just put there for his believers. He can't actually need them. He's a god.

The next thing one noticed were his eyes. They were wild. They were frantic. They darted left and right and up and down. They rolled up behind lazily half closing lids, so only the whites of his eyes showed. Then they would snap abruptly open, stretching wide, as if he'd just remembered that he'd left the iron on. Then they darted about again.

The damn things never stopped for one flipping moment. It was quite irritating.

Beside him stood his son and daughter, barely into their twenties, if that, Poseidon thought. The boy's eyes were the polar opposites of his father's, unmoving, glazed over and bleary almost to the point of being unseeing. They were continuously focused off in the distance. Poseidon had never seen such bloodshot eyes in his life. It was as if the boy had been up for days studying for an exam.

He also sported the most embarrassing bulge in his pants that Poseidon had ever scene. It was like the kid had a permanent erection.

The girl, though, was a delight. She was an absolute treasure. Poseidon glanced at Demeter, to see how jealous she was getting. It was hard not to keep his attention on the little waif. She was so very enchanting.

He didn't think he'd ever seen a girl with such sex appeal. She was shy, even demure, but she glowed. She seemed clever and fumbling, both at once, and the twinkle in her eye told him that as shy and innocent as she acted, he could take her whenever he wished, many times over, and she would enjoy it and beg for more like the total slut she really was.

He presented himself very properly to the father, first, mostly for Demeter's sake.

"Hi. I'm Poseidon," he said, extending a hand.

"Poseidon Adventure, Hollywood film, 1972, imdb.com. Poseidon, Greek god of the sea, en.wikipedia.org. Poseidon Submersibles, designer of commercial submarines and mini-subs, poseidondown.com..."

Poseidon and Demeter glanced at each other uneasily.

"This is my wife and sister, Demeter."

"Demeter, Greek goddess of grain and fertility, en.wikipedia.org. Demeter USA, manufacturer of harvesting equipment, demeterharvest.com..."

"Are these your children?" Demeter asked politely, trying to ignore his bizarre behavior.

"Children's Medical Issues, articles and insights on the health and well being of your child, childmed.org..."

The girl stepped hastily forward, in front of her rambling father, while extending a small, feminine hand. Poseidon took it in his. He was instantly drawn in by the sensual feel and soft warmth of her fingers slipping over his. He couldn't resist the urge to place his second hand on top of hers. To hell with Demeter, he thought. This was the girl he wanted tonight.

He wondered if she liked stallions.

"Hi, my name's Literotica," she said. "This is my brother, Porno. And that's my father, The Internet. Don't mind him. He's always sort of overwhelmed with new information, more and more, all the time. It's kind of his thing."

She scrunched up her nose as she said it, with a little roll of the eyes that said "he's embarrassing, but he's my father, so what can I do?"

"My dear, it's a pleasure to meet you," Poseidon told her, trying to charm her with a comforting, mature, fatherly gaze.

"Yes, a pleasure," Demeter said frostily, pointedly pulling Poseidon's hands from the girl's, before possessively looping her own arms through his.

"Oh, I'm all about pleasure," the young girl said, but with all of her attention directed to Demeter. Poseidon saw a glimmer there, a connection, shared between the girl and his sister. For her part, Demeter seemed to melt some. She shifted uneasily on one foot, before smiling warmly and advancing to leave his own arm and take the girl's.

"Well, aren't you a sweetheart," Demeter told her as she lead her away. "Come, I'll introduce you to all of the right gods and goddesses."

This young girl certainly was alluring, Poseidon thought. He wondered what her godhood covered, what her specialty was.

There might be an opportunity here, he thought, for something very interesting near the end of the party. That was, if he could lose her bleary eyed brother and her rather eccentric, incoherent father.

* * *

Brahma, the Indian god of creation, stood beside his half-sister and wife, Sarai-svati, herself the goddess of knowledge, music and the arts. She clung to him as she always did, with a little too much and too obvious affection for his austere nature. She held his one hand in hers, with her other arm around his waist, almost on his ass, and her other arm around his shoulder.

At least here at the party she used her fourth hand to hold her drink. Usually, that one was fumbling around under the front of his robes.

Sarai, being a goddess of knowledge, was of course unabashedly eager to talk to The Internet. Brahma himself was more interested in Porno at the moment. So were the Greek gods Oceanus, and his sister Tethys, and Erebus, and his sister Nyx. In fact, a lot of the gods were trying to get some face time with Porno.

"So, Porno," Brahma began with something of a leer. "I hear you have an interesting collection of art. Something they say rivals the Kama Sutra."

"Oh, yes," Porno said, snapping out of his dreamlike state. He took on a new energy the moment this subject came up. "Would you like to see? What would you like to see? I have pictures of just about everything. Movies, too..."

"I'm sorry," Tethys interrupted. "I hadn't heard this yet. Apparently the boys all know, though. What did you say your domain was?"

"Oh, I have thousands of domain names," Porno answered. "Most of them are dot coms, and they keep talking about making one just for me, dot xxx. But I don't think you want me to list all of the actual names, do you? Although some of them are rather enticing..."

Brahma and Sarai and Tethys and the rest stood blinking at him in confusion.

"What did he say?" asked Sarai.

"No idea. It's Greek to me," said Brahma.

They both turned to Oceanus.

"Don't ask me," he said. "It's Greek to me, too... er, not Greek, I mean, I am Greek, but, fuck, I don't know... I don't know what he said."

* * *

The entire room was buzzing about the new guests. Gods were either talking about them, critiquing them like contestants on a reality TV show, or else they schemed and plotted to meet them, or rather, to meet Literotica.

"Is that her?" asked Erebus.

"Is that her?" asked Osiris.

"Is that her?" asked another.

"Is that her?"

"Fuck," the Egyptian god Thoth said. "Did someone invite Echo? I hope not. She can be so fucking annoying at parties."

"... at parties," Freyr said.

"... at parties," Hera said.