An Arrangement of Sorts Ch. 01

She was what looked to him to be a young Great Dane – well, the features of her that he could identify, anyway. Her coloring was wrong from the little that he knew of the breed, since she was a honey-gold color for the most part with a white underside. She'd just hung around for a week near his home, scratching for food wherever she could get it and Moreth didn't want to think too hard about what she might have been living on since he'd heard her retching something up a little ways off a time or two. The ribs that he saw protruding told him that she wasn't making out all that well. He saw no collar, or tattoo, or anything that might indicate that she belonged to anyone.

But he had no room in his life for a dog, he told himself.

He'd grabbed his camera and taken a few shots during one of the times that she'd just hung around, but found that she wouldn't really hold still for him, so he'd gotten out a large pot and filled it with water for her. That gave him the time that he'd needed. He ran off a few prints and had nailed them up on store message boards around what passed for the town that he lived in. Well, around the town that he went to for supplies and food.

He now lived in a rather nice remodeled farmhouse on a hundred acres and he liked it just fine, though it made him wonder just how the big girl had gotten here in the first place since he'd re-fenced the fields after moving in. Then he looked at her legs and wondered how high the girl might be able to jump. He'd even called around to some of the neighbors to see if anyone was missing a dog. It was as if she'd just crawled up out of the ground and was trying hard to do the same thing to get into his life.

She was always there when he looked out. She met him at the door and stood looking at him sadly from the driveway whenever he left. When he returned, she was there, coming to him with her head down a little and wearing what must pass for a shy and hopeful smile on her face with her undocked tail wagging optimistically.

He hadn't meant to at all, but lately he'd found himself talking to her briefly during those times. He just saw it as being NOT unfriendly, but he realized that it had been a mistake when she began to walk next to him from the house to the truck or the other way around. He hadn't really noticed, but his talking to her had moved her from following behind him and it really marked a step as far as she was concerned. That was bloody obvious.

It was when he'd opened the door to get into his truck that she made her move and shot past him somehow to turn back once and sit there as he stared at her. She didn't really fit, but it was plain that she really wanted to, as she half-sat and half stood on the seat looking at him so very hopefully. He climbed in and they looked at each other for a moment before the huge mouth dropped open and she began to pant in a way that told him that she had no idea where they were going, but she was as pleased as anything that she might be allowed to come along.

He groaned, knowing that if he pet that great head just one time, it would be all over.

"What is it about me?" he asked her, "I don't need a dog. I don't want a dog. Look, I just got rid of a bitch – and I mean that in the biological sense so that you might understand," he said, turning his head to look at her in explanation.

"What you want is somebody who's stupid enough to want to take care of you. I'm not that stupid anymore, sorry for your luck."

He sighed, "Hanging around isn't good enough, is it? I ought to just take you in to whatever passes for animal control around here and let them figure out what to do with you. I just don't need the headaches and the expense of buying you food."

He looked at her size and rolled his eyes, "Christ, you probably eat more than I do. It just won't work, honey. I've got to travel once in a while. What do I do with you then? Oh, I know, I'll just fork over a wad of cash and board you someplace, right? Right?"

The brown eyes looked at him and overall she seemed to be pleased that he was talking to her. She tilted her head a little at some parts as though she was trying hard to understand, but overall, she just seemed to be thrilled to be allowed to get this close to him.

"What do I get out of it, is all I'm asking here," he said, "let's be practical. What do I get for all the food and expense and, well face it, the worry about wondering if you're alright when I'm not around because that will happen you know. And what have you got to bring to the table, huh? You'd track mud and leaves in and lie around and eat and have to be let out to shit and then you'd lie around and for damn sure, I'd be chasing you off my bed every five minutes, just looking at you. And walking you, ... holy cow, I forgot about that."

He looked at her and saw that she wasn't buying any of his arguments; he could see that as plain as day. It came to him that walking her really wouldn't be that big a deal if he could get her used to a leash, since he liked to run every other day and he would get a running partner out of it, he surmised.

He lowered his forehead to thump lightly against the top of the steering wheel, since he'd just noticed himself rationalizing her into his life. Whose side was he on here?

He shook his head. "I don't want or need a fucking dog."

He'd said it aloud, but she didn't seem to have any hurt feelings.

He looked at her again and her level of interest hadn't changed. She was still hanging onto every word.

"What do I get out of all of it? Come on, tell me."

He saw her unequivocal answer right there in front of him in her eyes.

"Christ," he grumbled, "Just what I need. Unconditional love."

He drew a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, "Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, Honey, just sayin'. Hangin' around looking friendly with my tongue hanging out of my face just like you're doing there only caused me a lot of pain and regret."

She'd looked a little concerned at that somehow and it made him grin a little. "Oh, so I'm getting through at least a little then, huh? Until now, I thought that you just weren't listening to me at all. I just thought you were faking it for my benefit. It hasn't happened lately, but I am pretty used to trying to make my point and being ignored so that she could get what she wanted."

He sighed heavily at the sad memories which flooded his mind then, but he shook them off and nodded to her as he spoke quietly, "I'll tell you about it sometime."

He stopped cold when he realized what he'd just done when he'd said those words to her. In spite of everything, not the least of it his own common sense, Moreth had just accepted the pretty beast into his life.

He couldn't help himself and he reached out to pet her and regretted it instantly.

She was so happy, she tried to get inside his shirt. A man and a huge dog in the cab of an old pickup truck that didn't have anywhere near the room for it by half.

He even knew what she was trying to do, he told himself. She was trying to get to his heart, but she needn't have bothered. He cursed as she changed her tactics as a momentary diversion and licked his face to throw him off-guard before she went for the shirt again and a button sailed off his two-hundred dollar shirt.

Moreth cursed a blue streak, but he rubbed her head anyway. He had no choice, since she'd somehow folded herself enough to lie down half on him.

"Where's the sign?" he asked her, "Just tell me where it says that I'm such an easy mark."

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It was insane getting her into the pet supply place to get her a leash and collar. He hung onto the bit of scruff on the back of her neck to try to maneuver her since trying to walk her beside him with his hand on her shoulder didn't give him enough control in a mall parking lot full of moving vehicles. It took a moment before she let herself trust him like that and they were actually making some headway getting across the strip mall pavement when a rude man in a beat-up little compact leaned onto his horn. The dog jumped nearly straight into the air and wanted to run.

It took him a minute to get her calmed down, but the fool had to lay it on again and then he stuck his head out of the window to make his request clearer in a more verbal fashion.

"I'm sorry, sir, "Moreth said as he tried to keep the large dog calm, "I'm trying to get her to the sidewalk, but you're scaring her."

"She oughta be onna leash! You're blocking the road." the man yelled in a raspy voice.

Chris rolled his eyes and nodded, but his mood changed when the fool hit the horn a third time. the dog seemed to be getting used to it a little, but he still needed to speak to her calmly for a moment. It was a lot harder to do with the man keeping his hand on the horn almost continuously.

Moreth got them out of the direct path of the car and the man would have stomped the gas pedal and driven off in a huff, but the old car chose that moment to stall.

Moreth couldn't believe his luck as he got his new friend safely onto the sidewalk in front of the store and turned to watch.

The car started and the man flipped him off with a loud obscenity, yanked the gear selector into forward and jammed the pedal down in anger.

Chris had no idea why they'd seemed to enrage the guy so much, but it didn't matter anymore he supposed. While all of this had been going on, a white Ford Crown Victoria bearing the insignia of the Louisiana State Police had idled up quietly behind the rusty old car. The trooper hit the lights and the siren yelped once.

The car stopped, and the trooper got out of her cruiser with her hand on the butt of her sidearm. She glanced at Moreth who was already holding out his open wallet with his free hand. "I'm not going anywhere, but I need to at least buy my dog a leash and a collar, Ma'am. That's what I'm here to do."

She nodded and ordered the driver of the car to produce some paperwork. Moreth had his new friend in the store a second later.

Halfway through their conversation, the driver asked who the man with the dog was that he could just walk away if there was a problem.

The officer kept her voice professionally even. "I witnessed about all of that, sir. You and I are talking about your vehicle, its safety, and the way that you operate it. I will be speaking to the other gentleman in a few minutes when he comes back out, and I know that he'll do that since he's a United States Marshall. I figure that's good enough to trust him a little."

Moreth kept looking out of the store window now and then. When he had his friend's new collar on her, he asked the saleswomen if they'd mind watching her for just a moment until he returned to make his other purchases for her and they agreed pleasantly.

The trooper saw him coming and smiled to herself a little as she ran the plate of the old car through the system.

"Are we still good or do you need to talk with me now, officer?" he asked the tall brunette trooper as she sat in her cruiser writing.

She looked up and smiled, "That depends on whether you wish to make a complaint against him. I've got him for about a dozen vehicle safety and traffic infractions including his expired registration sticker, and since he's got such a nice mouth on him, I'm pulling his vehicle off the road into impound because of that wheel that's about to let go from the dangerously worn ball joint. Some folks just can't help but spit into the wind, I guess. I would like to see your ID for the info. Where's your dog?"

He grinned as he handed everything over, "She's inside shopping, I guess, or just charming the socks off the ladies in there."

Trooper Shannon Peters looked at the badge in his wallet next to his photo ID and clearance for the U.S. Marshals Service Special Operations Group. "You work at Camp Beauregard, huh?"

He shrugged with a smile, "It's a living."

When he emerged a half-hour afterward with a lighter wallet and carrying an eighty pound bag of dog food on his shoulder, they talked a little and agreed to meet up in the lot of the coffee shop at the other end of the plaza. The trooper got there first and called herself on lunch to her dispatch desk. The trooper and the marshal spent the next twenty minutes leaning against his truck, since the dog had to stay in it with her head out the window.

Honey, as her name now seemed to be, liked the policewoman and it was obviously mutual. "So who is this?" she asked.

"I call her Honey. She's owned me for maybe the last hour or so. She just found me and adopted me. I've tried to see if anybody is missing a piece of livestock as big as her, but I've been unsuccessful. I'm out on an old farm and she's been hanging around for over a week. I guess I just gave in today, that's all. I was trying to get her into the store here to get her a collar and leash and the uh, gentleman came flying along and laid on the horn a whole lot while I was trying to get her across the road there without a collar yet, and I almost lost her in traffic when she about lost her mind."

They puzzled over jurisdiction and proper protocol and laughed about a few things. "I don't know, Chris," she smiled with just a bit of weariness to it, "I'm trying to make the relationship that I'm in work, sort of to give my boyfriend one last shot at it, since we've been together for a while. But I think I would like to see you sometime. I've got your number. How about I give you a call if he blows it and I've had enough of him?"

"Sure," Moreth grinned, "I'm really pleased to have met you, Shannon, you don't need to wait, I can handle a new friend, and I can keep my hands to myself."

"Thank you, Mr. Moreth, "the trooper grinned a little with a bit of a joking official tone, "that will be all. You have a good day with Honey there." She didn't say it, but she had sort of a half-assed notion that it wasn't him that she was worried about. She hadn't meant to begin to ask him out as she had and wondered where that had come from.

He pursed his lips and blew, "Yeah, if I have enough money. My girl here needs a bath something fierce, so that'll be an adventure for somebody, likely me, unless I can find a place around here that takes walk-ins her size or a do-it-yourself car wash. And then I'll have to see about getting her registered and her shots and of course, she just seemed to really love the most expensive food that they have here. But I'm sure that we'll get through it all somehow." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure," the officer chuckled, "bathing her might go something like mud-wrestling. I used to have a big dog. Have fun."

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The shots weren't too painful, well to Moreth at any rate, other than the expense, and he emerged from the vet with Honey seeming to like the way that her collar now clicked and jingled a little with her new dog tag on it. That was what he told himself, anyway.

The vet had looked for an embedded chip but had found none. "Sometimes people just drive to a secluded place and toss out a dog that they don't want. She's healthy, but I'd say that she hasn't been eating well in the last while. I'd put her age at under a year. She's got a little growing still left in her, I'd guess and Danes grow so fast that there's a danger of hip problems, so you ought to take that into account in her exercise program. Buy her large-breed slow-growth food, too."

"Oh, thank God," Moreth sighed in feigned relief, "and here I'd been worried that she might be finished and not get any larger.I've already bought that type of food. It's gold-plated or something because it costs like it and I get a free bag once I've bought three hundred pounds. I figure that it ought to take about a week."

"That ought to stop not long after she's a year old, "the vet smiled, "And then she'll eat a lot more as she fills out."

"Thank you for that," Moreth grinned, "I guess I'll just start shopping for a bigger truck now, huh? Something with dual wheels so that I can haul her around in a horse trailer?""

He bitched and complained all the way home, but whenever he looked at her, what he saw just made him laugh, "How come I can't ever get women to look at me like that?"

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Bath time was another matter, and it looked like it was going to go three falls out of five, but they got it done. She wasn't upset about it, really, she just thought it was all a form of play. They sat on the floor together afterward surrounded by wet towels on wet tiles. Honey was pleased out of her mind at how the day had gone.

Moreth just surveyed all of the carnage. If he'd had a brain, he'd have just tied her to a post and hosed her down.

"Christ, " he said, "I need a housekeeper."

It seemed to be the only answer to everything, other than the more logical avenue of just tossing her out on her own again, but he knew that he'd never be able to do that. He threatened it as he grumbled while he got the bathroom cleaned up, but it took a lot longer than it ever had before with Honey wanting to help and getting in his way most often. He'd bought her a ball and she kept bringing it to him as he was cleaning up. She had no intention of letting him touch it and took off with it if he tried to reach for it.

She just wanted him to see that she had it, he guessed.

He'd finally just filled the newly-cleaned tub and crawled in for a bath, but he couldn't even lie back to soak and relax for very long, since Honey became upset and paced back and forth groaning out her concern for him and not knowing what to do to help him. She seemed to be worried that he might drown in there or something.

He couldn't buy her a bed while he'd been shopping, since short of a low couch, he couldn't think of anything that might serve, so he'd bought her a section of a carpet remnant that looked to him as something like faux yak skin. He laid it out for her and she seemed to love it – as long as he was on it as well. But he drew the line when she'd tried to get onto the bed with him.

"No," he told her forcefully, "right here is where this fine bit of camaraderie ends, Honey. You're sleeping on the floor, on the rug that I bought for you. Only one of us is a dog, and I'm pretty sure that it's not me, though my ex-wife might argue that."

He was firm and it took a while, but she did get the message and laid down finally. She made one attempt to walk onto the bed, but gave it up after he yelled 'no' to her.

He woke up just about half an hour before his alarm went off. It was when Honey rolled onto her back in her sleep and the weight of her shoulder pressed his arm uncomfortably.

"You're pushing it," he said as he got up to head for the bathroom. "There's an old chicken coop out back. You keep this up and I'll clean it out for you."

Honey moved herself instantly to lie on the warm spot that he'd quite obviously left behind for her. She thought that he was wonderful as she stretched once and heaved a long groaning sigh of contentment.