An Indigo Bunting

"Ahh ha haaa!"

Suddenly, Lovie tore off to one side. Her stubby nose was to the ground.

"Lovie!" we both yelled simultaneously.

She ignored us and kept heading into the bush. We ran after her yelling.

Suddenly we saw that Lovie was face to face with a skunk.

Then face to skunk ass.

Then Lovie got blasted full onto her face, from about two feet away.

Lovie yelped. The skunk ran away.

"Oh no!"

Lovie dropped to the ground whimpering and rubbing her eyes with the front paws and forearms.

Then the smell hit us like a freight train.

In that one instant, our weekend changed. Indeed, our lives changed.

The poor dog was in agony. She was yelping and whimpering. Her eyes were bright red. Her nose was running. She kept on trying to scratch at her eyes. We had to try to stop her.

The smell was so strong and acrid, it didn't even smell of skunk. It was too strong.

Sophie fished out a plastic water bottle from her fanny pack that I didn't know she was carrying.

"Hold Lovie's head still," she said as she unscrewed the cap. I did. She poured it into Lovie's eyes. Lovie kept her eyes shut for the most part, while we did it. I had to basically pin her to the ground and peel her eyes apart.

Lovie was not a happy dog.

We weren't particularly happy either.

We had to get Lovie cleaned up asap. She was scratching at her face and rubbing it in the dirt and twigs.

Lovie's leash was in the car.

I pulled my belt out and slid it under her collar and looped it through the buckle. It kind of worked if I pulled straight up. "We need two belts." Sophie pulled hers out too. That way we managed to almost drag her back towards the car, keeping the belts tight and preventing her from simply lying down and rubbing her face.

We had a serious situation on our hands.

She still didn't really stink of skunk. It was too strong. Even my eyes were watering.

Lovie was led in a vee configuration between us.

"I figure that at a reasonable pace we'll be back at the car in about forty five minutes. I'm not looking forward to stuffing this dog into my car."

"Do you have tomato juice?"

"I've got Clamato why? Are you going to want a Bloody Mary when we get back?" I was trying to lighten up the situation.

"I thought that's what you're supposed to do, shampoo with it, to get the skunk smell out," she said.

"Shampoo with Clamato juice?"

"No. Tomato juice." Sing-song laughter. I was glad she was still in good spirits, despite the ugly situation.

"Maybe it works, I don't know. But I think what we'll use is...Skunk Shampoo."

"Do you have any?"

"Yeah."

"Do you shampoo skunks very often?"

"Very funny."

"Ahh ha haa!" Musical laugh.

"Oh God. I'm sorry Sophie, this hike isn't working out quite as planned."

Sophie laughed, "If this is as bad as it gets, then I'm in heaven! Ha ha hahhh!"

Gotta love that woman.

Lovie's eyes were red. The poor animal was suffering. She just wanted to rub her face, but we kept her in a near strangulation mode with the belts tight.

"So tell me Frank," she said as we maneuvered Lovie around a tree on the path, "did you believe in God before your rationalization with the creation story?"

"As I said, I didn't know. I was exposed to some of that growing up. I was actually baptized in a United church, but we didn't really attend much growing up."

"So you found God through Genesis?"

"Basically yes. I believe in the Genesis God. I can't say that's the same God as the rest of the Bible. Creation, for me is simply the most rational explanation for the existence of the universe."

"We're quite the pair aren't we Frank. You with your lack of faith in modern science, you land up discovering God."

"And you Sophie, with your lack of faith in the church, land up with a new faith in Christ.

"Heretics we are, both of us in our own way, aren't we."

"Absolutely."

"We should be shunned by society."

"Sophie, trust me. Smelling like we do, we will be."

"Ahh ha haaa!" I love that laugh, even through the haze of skunk.

After twenty minutes or so the path followed on top of a bit of a ridge consisting of weathered limestone. Most of the path was single file only. Sophie was first, followed by Lovie, who by default had to walk almost sideways, with her front paws barely touching the ground, followed by me.

I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but the belt connecting me to Lovie's collar suddenly pulled me forward, I stumbled, tripped on a root and fell forward landing with a thud while letting go of the belt. The sudden loss of tension caused Sophie to fall forward too. She and Lovie disappeared off the side of the ridge with a yelp.

"Owww!" I heard Sophie.

As soon as I lifted myself up I cringed in pain. My chest hurt. It was obvious that I had landed on a small stump. I immediately realized that I must have busted a rib or two.

"Ooooh."

I crawled forward to where they had slipped off the limestone. From above I saw that Sophie was leaning, yet standing, upright with her back against the rock which was nearly vertical. She was in a crevasse. The top of her head was about seven or eight feet below me, her fanny pack was on one shoulder and Lovie was on the ground next to her feet tangled in belts and rubbing her face in the leaves and soil.

"Oh my God! Don't move Sophie!"

"Ouch!"

Grimacing I pulled my binoculars off and scrambled back along the ridge about twenty feet to where the drop into the crevasse was only five feet or so and slid down. I made my way through the shrubs, sticks and dead leaves to where Sophie and Lovie were.

"Sophie!" I could see that she was in pain. It was written all over her face.

"Frank."

"Where does it hurt?" There was blood on her left wrist.

"My ankle."

"Where else?"

She lifted her left hand to look at it, "My finger." Most of her pinky fingernail was torn off exposing the tender skin underneath. I knew that hurt. She then lifted her binoculars that were still around her neck, "The binoculars are broken."

They surely were. "Don't move. Is your head okay?"

"Yes."

"Back?"

"I think so. Just my ankle. My right ankle."

"Do you think it's broken?"

"I don't know. Your knee is bleeding."

I looked down. It was. My left knee was bleeding and I had cut my pants. I had no idea. My chest was screaming at me. "I'm fine, don't move. Let me get Lovie out of here first and then you."

"Okay."

I dragged Lovie out through the shallow end of the crevasse. It hurt like hell when I had to pick her up and lift the stinking dog up about four feet and then make my own way up the rock. I then tied my belt to a sturdy branch leaving Lovie standing with her front paws barely touching the ground.

I scampered back down the rock to where Sophie was.

"I'm okay," she said.

"I don't think so Sophie."

"Except for my ankle."

I took her hands in mine. "Okay just try to stand upright. Don't put any weight on your right ankle." She did.

"Does anything else hurt?"

"Just my dignity."

"Your dignity? Why would you say that?"

"Because I'm a klutz. I'm sorry Frank."

"Well I can restore your dignity right away by simply kissing it better." I kissed her on the lips. "Now does anything else hurt apart from your ankle and your finger and wrist?"

She looked at her wrist. She seemed surprised that there was some blood soaking into the pink cotton sleeve. "No I'm fine."

"Okay slowly put some weight on your ankle."

"It hurts, but I'll be okay."

Slowly and gingerly we made our way out of the crevasse to where Lovie was tied up. I undid and took off her hiking boot. We determined that her ankle was probably just sprained and then put her boot back on, tying it firmly. I found her a good walking stick. I put her broken binoculars into a Lovie poop bag, picked up mine and then slowly made our way forward with Lovie in a vee configuration again.

Two and a half souls emerged from the wilderness, like wounded soldiers. Wounded but not beaten. Limping and grimacing, bleeding, filthy, with itchy eyes and all stinking to high heaven we made our way back towards the car. We were afraid to even stop for a moment in case it would turn out to be our final resting place.

"Oh look Goldfinch."

I followed where Sophie was looking, huffed and then observed, "In sunlit branches."

"Oh my God!"

And there it was. One solitary iridescent blue Indigo Bunting amongst brilliant yellow Goldfinch perhaps ten feet up a paper birch tree. The whole tree was shimmering in light and alive with little golden yellow birds. One standing out amongst them.

"I don't believe it."

Sophie broke out in tears, "Just got to have faith."

"I thought we were supposed to be happy," I said.
She dropped the walking stick and fell into my arms, "I couldn't be happier Frank."

It was true. Tears of joy ran down my cheeks making it all three of us with runny eyes. I hugged her and kissed her and told her how much I loved her.

"I love you too Frank. You can't imagine how happy you've made me. And how happy I am when I'm with you."

She had to clean her eyes off on the bloody cuff of her sleeve before getting a glimpse of the bird through my binoculars.

"Oh it's beautiful," she said as she gazed at the bird.

She sure was. Balanced on one foot, broken red fingernail and bloody wrist holding the binoculars to her eyes, covered in dirt. She sure was beautiful.

And in truth, I couldn't have been happier.

*

We made it back to the car eventually. The gas station attendant nearly fell off his stool when I went in to pay for the gas and to pick up a couple of bottles of Vitamin Water for us and Evian for Lovie.

Jerry and his truck full of shirts were gone by the time we got back.

I stripped off all of my clothes before going into the house to retrieve the Skunk Shampoo, vodka, Clamato juice, two plastic glasses, the kettle, soap and a mound of towels. I pressed play on the CD on my way out.

We shampooed Lovie four times to Rick Wakeman's The Six Wives of Henry VIII. Lovie didn't like going in the wheelbarrow, but at least the boiling water took the sting out of the cold garden hose water.

Afterwards Sophie and I soaped ourselves down and soaked in the hot tub with a couple of Bloody Caesars. Basically we were licking our wounds.

"What's the plan for dinner?" she asked.

"I was going to make chicken and egg. Aoww!" I reacted to the sharp tug on my scrotum. "But it's a little late to start roasting a chicken."

Even though her plastic glass was at her mouth, I could tell her upper lip was curled, smiling.

"I've a frozen pizza."

"That and some red wine will be perfect."

"Then sex?"

"TV," she stated.

"I'm good with TV."

*

It took weeks for the stink to finally get out of Lovie and out of the house.

I got next to nothing for the Toyota when I traded it in for a Ford Taurus. The skunk stink was soaked into the fabric upholstery. They had to tow it away. There was no way anyone could get into the car.

*

Sophie is at my house without fail by six on Friday evenings and then leaves bright and early on the following Monday morning. Fully half of her clothes are in my, or rather our, closet. I'm usually at her condo for dinner at least once a week. During the summer when school was out she spent the entire time at the house with me.

Fattie is crazy about her.

We got married last spring to the delight of both of our families. Our honeymoon was in St. Kitts in the Caribbean.

Jerry and Matt both love her. She loves the boys too. Matt switched to a PhD program. Sophie and I are still both mystified in what a Rhetoric degree achieves, but at least he's learning something. Jerry's still hauling shirts or whatever.

Sophie will be retiring in a few months. The plan is that she will sell the condo and move in with Lovie and me.

There's a bird feeder in the backyard now. We get plenty of Goldfinch and other birds but we've not seen an Indigo Bunting on it yet. It doesn't really matter, Indigo Bunting is officially checked off both of our lists.

And we are fine, living with our respective heresies.

*

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eclare