And When I Return Ch. 14

Please don't wake up, please don't wake up, he thought.

Jenna felt an intense pull of empathy for him that almost made her cry. She slowly put her hand out and lifted his chin so that she could look at his face, look into his eyes. They both leaned in awkwardly, then pulled back, then leaned in again until their lips touched slightly, then parted once more before she kissed him, lightly and apprehensively at first. Then their lipsticks began to smear into each other as their mouths opened and their tongues met, circling each other wetly. Instinctively their two bodies merged in a tight embrace with each of them quickly beginning to explore each other as if they had never done so before. Anna knew the feel of Jenna, but Jenna did not know Anna and she instinctively ran her hands over his hips before tentatively reaching for his breasts. Her hands were uncertain and quivering as lesbian fantasies surfaced. Their breathing became heavy and labored until suddenly Jenna pulled away and walked quickly toward the kitchen bar.

"Whoa!" she said, taking a gulp of wine, "I, uh, I didn't really...uh...where did that come from? Jesus, I need a minute. This is weird and confusing."

This brought the maleness out in Anna now, and he went to her. "It's okay," he said softly, "It's still me. It's okay." And he pulled her to him so they could kiss again. This time it was gentle and caring at first, building slowly to a barely contained passion and lust as their bodies ground together.

"I can't feel your cock," Jenna said breathlessly.

"It's there. Under the girdle," he answered. They laughed like children in discovery.

"Your boobs; they seem so real...feel so real. And your hips, my God! I feel really strange...so many weird thoughts. I can only imagine what your corset does for your figure."

"Yeah, the corsets are tight, really tight. Wish I had one on right now, but I can't lace it up as tight as I'd like to. It needs someone else to tighten it," Anna said. He was hoping she'd offer, but she didn't.

They each sat down at the bar and gulped some more wine while ogling each other lasciviously.

"Jason, Anna," she started, her voice higher in pitch than normal, tinged by raw emotion, "I've watched you disappear from my life bit by bit over the last few years. The first thing I found was a pair of your panties in the wash (by mistake I assume). I thought you were cheating on me. Then I found your clothing stash and watched it grow. The alarming thing was that as it grew, you became less and less interested in me. The final straw was when I saw your internet history and the emails you exchanged with Diane, so I contacted her and told her to leave you alone."

The words were spewing out of her uncontrollably and Jason watched, mesmerized.

"I was a wreck, and it took some talking from her before I realized that you were the one who was reaching out to her, not the other way around. And then I had to ask myself why. What did she have to give you that I couldn't? It was pretty obvious. So, after a few conversations with her I began to understand that if I wanted you, I had to take all of you. I couldn't choose what I liked about you and throw away the rest."

She paused, almost in tears now.

"Jason, I've been missing you for years. It's been a hunger that I couldn't fill. You just weren't there. I don't want that Jason. I don't want that...Anna. I need you. I just need you to love me." Then she began sobbing.

"I can't believe this is happening! Jesus, I've missed you too. So much. Oh Jesus!"

They buried their heads in each other's shoulders and just sobbed for a few minutes in a magical, spiritual bliss of understanding. Finally they both pulled back and looked at each other and started to laugh, as they saw the havoc that the tears had made with their mutual facial makeup. At that moment they both knew that this bordered on the ludicrous, but they also knew it was real and couldn't be ignored.

"Okay, enough of that," Jenna said, half sobbing, half laughing, "You go fix your makeup while I get ready to show you my surprise."

She bounced away from him and went to the bedroom, casting a backward glance and saying playfully, "I have to change so I can look as good as you. I can't be dressed in slacks and t-shirt while you're so dressed up."

Anna's world had undergone a seismic change. He stood there in total disbelief and shock. This had to be a dream. And yet it wasn't. He had smelled her, touched her, and heard her. As he rummaged through his purse in the other bathroom, looking for the tools to repair his makeup, he couldn't help but think he was the luckiest human alive. She loved him. All of him. Finally, he could actually be himself with his wife! This changed everything. All the yardsticks that he had used to measure his life had been shattered and there was no need to hide any longer. It was like the end of war. There was no more fear.

He was now seated at the bar once again and he watched the sun descend in the west. The heat of the day had passed, but a comfort remained from his epiphany with Jenna. This was way beyond any of his dreams, as he had been certain that if he had left her, he would have had to settle for sexual encounters simply with kinky people in clubs or fetish groups, physically satiating but emotionally unfulfilling.

Now she knew. And she accepted it. Would she actually allow him to make love to her this way though? That would be way too much to ask, he thought, and then his mood flattened. He was way too far ahead of himself. And Jenna too. Baby steps, baby steps.

Then, as he had done to her, he heard her clear her throat. He turned and choked on his wine. Red suited her; it always did, and she had that tight "little red dress" on with dark grey stockings or pantyhose and red stilettos. The dress plunged in the front to reveal the top of something black and lacy, something that forcefully pushed up her beautiful small breasts. She playfully pulled up her skirt to briefly reveal that she had black garters holding up the stockings, and his impression was that they were so taut that they could have been a stringed instrument.

Anna was speechless, so Jenna said, "Come over here Anna. Come see what I'm wearing. Diane tells me that you like to be told what to do, you like tight underwear, and you obviously like bondage and being fucked in the ass. I must admit, I have a lot to learn along those lines, well, the bondage and the fucking part anyway. But wait till you see what I bought at Victoria's Secret."

Just then the doorbell rang and Jenna grinned and said, "Must be the pizza. Would you get that please? I'll get some more wine."

She rushed off with her heels clicking and her ass swaying down the stairs to the walkout basement, leaving Anna to say to her retreating back, "Jenna? Uh, how can I answer the door like this?"

All she said as she disappeared was, "Remember your trip to the restaurant in Orangeville?"

The pizza guy was tall, very tall, and he looked down at Anna as he took the pizza from him. "That'll be fifteen bucks ma'am," he said as he stared at Anna's breasts, even though they were well covered by the blouse and there was little cleavage showing.

Anna wanted to tell him to fuck off and look him in the eye, but remotely, as a male he understood. Instead he gave him twenty bucks and told him to keep the change.

The pizza guy was thankful for the tip, but he lingered a bit too long, wanting to drink Anna's breasts in a little longer, even while noticing the odd pitch of Anna's voice. Anna smiled politely and closed the door.

Then he realized he both hated him for staring at him like that, and loved the feeling of being stared at like that. It was an oddly feminine feeling. This was just too easy, Anna thought, as he added this social encounter to his list of experiences passing in public.

"You handled that really well," Jenna said as she came up the stairs with the wine, "Now let's eat, drink and be merry, or Anna."

It was beginning to feel natural between them, just like it had been when they first met, like obstacles had been removed from the road ahead. Each of them began to relax, unfettered by the urgency of making love, only knowing that their souls had been bared allowing it to happen if that path should be taken. He remained hard under the girdle and she remained wet in waiting.

Jenna giggled, "I have a corset on you know, a black one, but nothing like what you have. But then again, I don't need one do I? It's just a hook and eye closure spandex variety bustier. You don't have one of those do you?"

"No, I certainly need the other type," Anna said, "Sometimes I wish I was actually a woman and had the shape that you have. But then again, I'd have to add some things and cut some others off wouldn't I?"

"Well," Jenna said, "You could add something, but cutting something off? I don't think so. I want that."

They clinked their glasses together and laughed. Jenna stared at him for a minute and then asked, "Do you want to add something? I mean, do you want real breasts? You're a doctor; you could jump the queue, so to speak."

Was this a test, he wondered? "Yes," he said, also as a test.

"Yes what?"

"Uh...yes ma'am?"

"No, stupid, do you want real breasts?"

"You're really asking me that? Look, I've learned that I would love to live as a woman full time, but I don't think I can. It just seems so overwhelming to try to do it. I don't know..." He drifted off.

After a moment he asked, "Do you want me to get breasts?"

"I want you to do what you want to do. If you're asking me if I'm a lesbian, let's just say that I like breasts but I like a penis. The two of them in one body intrigues me. Or should I say the three of them?"

Anna moved his chair closer to her. He leaned over and smelled her hair. She touched his earrings.

"We could be a lesbian couple," she said, "It wouldn't be that hard to change. We don't have children and we don't plan to have any. We'd find out who our true friends were. And you'd find out that your patients wouldn't give a hoot, I'd bet."

Anna tilted his head and said, "You're giving me total freedom to be a woman? You mean it's my decision?"

"Not entirely, and yes, in answer to your two questions. Sex reassignment surgery for you is not something that interests me at this time, but then again, who knows what the future holds, right? I suppose this is the start of a journey, isn't it? What do you want?" Jenna sat back and crossed her legs with a calm smile on her face. The pose revealed the garters and the bare skin over the tops of her stockings.

It took his breath away. "I want you," he said, "I want you more than I ever have in my life. I want you now." His mind buzzed and swirled with erotic confusion, male forcefulness and female fantasies.

Jenna giggled and got up from the chair and trotted toward the bedroom, saying, "Well, come and take me then. You're the one with the cock."

Anna literally jumped off the chair at the bar, momentarily forgetting he had high heels on. He stumbled in a most unladylike way and fell into her. Their eyes met, then their lips, then their hips as they ground into each other. Words fell away to moans and groans as they inched their way inexorably toward the bed where he fell on top of her, taking her breath away.

Each of them pulled at each other's clothes. Jenna's little dress was pulled up to her waist revealing the bottom of the black bustier and the garters pulled taut to the stockings. There were no panties.

"Oh my God," he moaned, as he realized that even though he had all those orgasms literally at the hands of Diane, he had not been allowed to penetrate her even once. Now Jenna lay here and he could have her. He wanted this to last forever.

Jenna splayed her hands out behind her head as he buried his head between the tight garters and felt her wetness, smelled her readiness. She moaned, "Yes, oh yes, yes..."

He used his tongue. He used his fingers. He used his lips. But he went slowly, gently and slowly, listening to her breathing rise and fall with passion depending upon what he did and where he did it. He had never done this to her in such a way before and he learned quickly. He felt the essence of power as he brought her to the edge and then backed off to allow her frustration and need to rebuild over and over again. Finally it was too much. Jenna came with a quick scream of release, like she had hit a wall, and she bucked his head up and down.

As the orgasm subsided, he realized it had not really ended, but was only in remission, and he fed it with gentle probing and faint touches until she was out of control once more. The next wave lasted longer and seemed to go on forever as she said over and over again, "Oh, oh, oh, oh..."

Just when he thought she was done, a low guttural groan gradational to a long grunt came, not so much out of her mouth, as out of her whole body and she sagged into the bed, at the same time pulling his head up to lie on top of the bustier.

Anna knew what to do. It was a risk, but he had to try. He didn't completely remove his open-bottomed girdle; he didn't have to; he only slid it up so he could pull down his panties and free his penis. It hovered now ready to enter, and he looked into her eyes. Her eyes were ferociously passionate as she grasped his breasts and said, "Now, I want you in me now. Now!"

He entered her and almost came instantly, but he withstood that first feeling of ecstasy and tried to continue to please her, slowly moving in and out while Jenna's lips quivered and her eyes closed. Her hands never left his breasts and she rose up to meet him repeatedly until his breathing became synonymous with gasping moans.

Jenna took control. "Don't cum Anna, don't cum. Make me cum Anna, make me, oh, Jesus, oh yes, that's it Anna, yes..." Then her words became unintelligible as she writhed on the bed, pulling him even more deeply inside her.

Now it was his turn. He made one last plunge and yelled out, a yell so long that it morphed into a groan, while his penis twitched and reacted to her vaginal spasms. She seemed to be pulling the semen out of him and it went on and on until he realized he was now holding his breath. As he breathed in, a last orgasmic spasm escaped from them both and he fell on her, their breasts meshing.

As usual Anna became Jason after orgasm and now Jason rolled off, pulling her over to face him on the bed. Her eyes were glazed and unfocused and he suspected his were too. He wiped sweat from her forehead and she did the same to him.

"I guess that's what we get for making love with our clothes on," she said with a grin, "Your makeup's okay though."

That's what she said, but what Jason heard was, "It's okay. It's okay to make love to me dressed as a woman." And he couldn't get the vision out of his head of Jenna grasping his breasts while she was having her orgasms.

Then a dreamy look engulfed Jenna's face as she said, "Now, finish the job."

Jason was confused. "What?" he asked.

"Make me cum again with your mouth. You know what it tastes like; now do it." It was an order, and it triggered another of his fantasies, to be dominated by a woman.

He hesitated briefly, but then he gently drank the fluids there. It was her fantasy, and touch was not really required. As he swallowed his own semen, and cleaned her up, she came twice more. Finally she pulled him up by the ears to face her and then pushed him aside roughly.

The release was the culmination of seven years of withholding of feelings and desires, a volcanic eruption of geologic proportions, both emotionally and physically. For both of them. They gazed into each other's eyes and fell asleep that way, neither one remembering who closed eyes first.