Anniversary Secrets

EPILOGUE - Therapy sessions

(1 month later)

"So, tell me Diane. How would you describe the trial living arrangement?"

"Well, I love that I can see Leo every day."

"That's it? Any improvements in your intimacy?"

"He's still afraid. Ever since that first time we tried, and he couldn't maintain an erection... Oh god." (crying)

"Diane, it's ok to grieve. This is a safe place."

"He used to get hard as steel in seconds. All I had to do was whisper to him or give him a sexy look and he was ready to go. I've stolen all his confidence."

"Be patient Diane. You have the advantage of always knowing your marriage was rock solid. Up until a few months ago Leo was mutually invested. His terms have been hit hard. Give him time."

"I will give him all the time in the world doctor. I owe him that much."

"Have you discussed your reasoning for sharing the personal intimacy details with your friend?"

"To the point where I sound like a broken record. I know he's heard me, but I can't shake the feeling he doesn't quite believe me."

"Do you believe yourself? That's a big sigh Diane."

"You have no idea how much I've questioned myself about this. I've tried to apply the self-evaluation techniques you provided and at the end of it, I'm still at a loss as to why I did it. I was never unhappy, or angry with Leo. I was more than satisfied sexually, emotionally and so on. I keep coming back to Jenny's comment about wanting power and I'm terrified to think that may have been part of it after all. What kind of person does that make me Rita?"

"Human, Diane. Power is the easiest thing to abuse. Having said that, it's a healthy balance when you understand your potential to wield it unknowingly. It makes you a better person than most."

(Month 2)

"How are you feeling Leo?"

"That's a loaded question Rita."

"I suppose it could be seen that way. Why don't you try to simplify it for me."

"I want to be with her, but I can't get what happened out of my head. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. She's assured me there isn't one, and deep down I know it, but I can't let it go... why?"

"Having your deepest secrets revealed is tough to accept. The fact that your life partner openly shared outside of your sacred safe zone... well that makes it tougher. It'll take time Leo."

"How long? Even I thought I would've put this behind me by now."

"That's the million dollar question. If those types of answers were easy, we'd all be millionaires."

"You should do an open mic night at Yuk Yuk's doc."

"Sorry. I thought it was relevant."

"In truth Rita. I'm worried that I'll never get past this. I can't keep stringing her along, in good conscience. I know I love her, but it might not be enough... it could actually be over."

"You need to talk to her about how you're feeling Leo. I don't think she has the same view as you."

(Month 3: couples session)

"It's nice to have both of you today. Tell me Leo, how have things been. Did you talk to Diane about your concerns from our last appointment.

"I did. We've had a lot of discussions."

"He's been very honest and open with me Rita. I understand how he feels and why he feels that way. But I think it's safe to say he knows I'm not going anywhere." (both smiled at her persistence)

"I think that's the first time I've seen you two smile at the same time. I know you two have worked very hard on your relationship, while dealing with the stresses of work and life. You need to give yourself a pat on the back, but maybe it's time to take a break. I can see from your faces that my comment worries you. I don't mean a break as in separation. I meant as a married couple in therapy. You've laid a lot of groundwork that way, but you two should work on being friends for a while. Go to a movie, catch a concert, even just go for a walk and a coffee. Put the work away for a while and just hang out."

(Month 4)

"You look very relaxed today, Diane. Am I to assume that you and Leo had a good month?"

"Your suggestion about rebuilding our friendship was spot on. We agreed to take all the pressures of our marriage off the table and just hang out, like we did when we met."

"And that has made things at home better?"

"At home, at the office. I don't feel the knot when I go home anymore, and Leo said the same thing. And..."

"And what Diane? What were you going to say?"

"We made love the other night!"

"Oh, my goodness! How did that come about?"

"Honestly, I don't know. We went out for a walk and stopped to get some ice cream. We just walked and talked about nothing important. When we started up the driveway to our house, he whistled at my butt. When I turned around to jokingly question his motives, he played innocent and licked his ice cream cone, so I pushed it into his face and ran into the house. He chased me inside and around the house until he tackled me on the sofa and proceeded to stuff his ice cream in my face. We were playfighting and laughing until we were both winded. In that moment, we were just looking at each other, when he kissed me out of nowhere. Next thing I knew we were locked into a serious kiss. I felt his hands roam over my body and it was electric! He welcomed my touch in return and soon we were partially disrobed enough for him to take me right there on the couch." (Staring off with a smile)

"Earth to Diane. Where'd you go? You look lost in your thoughts."

"It was the most amazing feeling in my life Rita. For the first time in months, I could feel his desire for me. It started all frantic and excited, but it slowly transitioned into an extended love making session. You know the kind where you can stare into the very soul of your lover and know, without a doubt... that you were exactly where you were meant to be. It was heaven!"

"Sounds like the real healing has begun Diane. Remember, it's a process. There will still be bad days, but you now have a new foundation to build from. He may never be as open in the bedroom, only time will tell. Will that be an issue for you?"

"As long as were together, I'm happy."

"So, what's next for you two."

"Well, we started saving for another trip. We're targeting our fifteenth anniversary but are flexible on the date. In the meantime, we are planning on visiting an old friend next weekend. He and his wife gave birth to twins not too long ago, and it's been way too long since we've seen him. I know we're both looking forward to the reunion."