Another Morning Ch. 06

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Confrontation with Justin and sensual dreaming.
4k words
4.77
15.6k
3

Part 6 of the 8 part series

Updated 10/18/2022
Created 04/08/2007
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When it rains, it pours. There had never been a cliché that had described my life so aptly. It was both a curse and a blessing. Everything bad that was going to happen in a certain period of my life happened all at once. On the good side, my pain would be dealt with swiftly. On the negative side, it meant people I loved would also be gone just as swiftly. In this case, I would have rather dealt with the pain of old memories than the pain of losing Kaden. I feared that whatever Justin revealed, that I had not revealed myself, would drive Kaden from my side.

My memory of Justin was more flattering than real life. He was an inch taller than me, which was the only detail I had accurately remembered. His black hair was too greasy, his physique too skinny, and his smile too smarmy. He still looked like the bad boy James Dean, only with an evil, malicious intent on his mind rather than the depressed and tortured soul James Dean presented in his films. I was disgusted with the remembrance of his touch, and my mind screamed "What the hell were you thinking?" Glancing at Kaden, it was obvious he was wondering what I had been thinking as well. It became clear that depression and desperation helped me to view Justin in a favorable light.

Justin eyed me from head to toe, barely able to conceal a sneer at he noted my slight weight gain from when last he saw me. To any casual observer, it would only look as if his face had an odd twitch. "It seems you're doing well." He indicated my house and the front yard in a sweeping gesture.

"Amazing what one person can do when they cut off the one thing draining their finances." For once, my sarcasm was not light-hearted, but vicious.

Justin tisked at me while he took a few steps forward, "I've forgiven you for that. It really wasn't nice of you to leave me in the lurch the way you did."

I stepped closer to Kaden, my only safe haven from a demonic leach such as my ex-boyfriend. "You had a year to find a part-time job and establish yourself. I told you that my resources were severely limited. All you wanted was a free ride. I did what I had to do to save myself." Why was I defending myself to him?

Kaden was fast becoming tired of the whole situation. He stepped ahead of me, efficiently placing me behind him. A protective gesture that made me feel valued, effectively stopping the free fall of my fragile self-worth. "Why don't you say what you have to say and leave?"

Justin lifted the right side of his upper lip in a silent snarl. The hands at his side clenched into tight fists. "I came to patch things up with her, to continue our old, happy life." He turned a tame, entreated look towards me. "You were happy, weren't you, baby? We were very happy before I left."

"Are you lying to yourself or just trying to convince me?" I was incredulous at his statement. He had often told me how unhappy I looked. When I burst into tears seemingly without reason, he would get disgusted and walk out of the room. Was he trying to convince me that my tearful episodes were tears of joy; my constant depression was an expression of being unworthy of being near him? The likely explanation: He was desperate for another free ride.

"We had a good thing!" Justin's voice started to rise.

I stepped from behind Kaden, my anger giving me the courage to face my tormentor. Yet Kaden still kept a hand on my upper left arm just in case. "You had a good thing through my servitude and suffering! I did all the work. You just pretended to be responsible and fucked the girl down the hall while I was trying to pay the bills."

His face got close to mine. I could smell his putrid breath and nearly gagged. "I treated you better than any useless whore should be treated!"

There was a blur of movement. My eyes only caught a glimpse from the corner of my glasses. It was like a cut scene in a movie. One moment in time, Justine's face was within inches of mine. The next, he was flat on his back, nose bloodied with Kaden's fist extended past my face.

"Say something negative to the lady again and I put you in the hospital." Kaden's voice was quiet and calm. I could hear the torrents of hostility carefully hidden beneath.

It was hard to hide a triumphant smile as I looked down my nose at Justin. "You have definitely out stayed your welcome. If you're not off my porch in five seconds, I'll call the cops."

Kaden and I entered my home, and then we watched discreetly from my living room window as Justin picked himself up and left. I prayed that we had seen the last of him. Seeing Justin on my porch had been a nightmare. In the past, in a dark corner of my mind, I had thought of different scenarios where we would meet after I had plucked myself out of the pits of depression. Each scenario was more horrific than the next. Instead of being weak and bendable as I was in every imaginative circumstance, I was resilient in the face of my personal monster. It helped to have the support of Kaden.

His hand squeezed my left shoulder, a tender reminder to return from my thoughts. "I think we better have that talk now."

I sighed heavily and turned to look at him. "You're right. It's something that I can't procrastinate on since you met my dark secret. Although, he wasn't completely to blame for my problems, he just helped them to fester and created a few new ones."

"Such as your problems with sex?" Kaden cut right to the point.

--~~--

Adam Jamison, my first love, had dumped me to become a Mormon missionary in a third world country. If that was what he actually did, I had no idea. The only thing I knew for sure was I fell for him hard and acutely felt the pain when he did not want me anymore. It had barely been a month since I had been dumped when Justin glided into my life like a vulture.

Justin managed to insert himself into my daily routine with an efficiency any multimillion dollar company would have been envious of. Three weeks into the relationship, he started to pressure me for sex. His favorite line, "Don't you think you're a little too old to still be a virgin," always managed to make me feel as if no one had wanted me through out my short life.

A week before my twentieth birthday, I surrendered to his wishes. There were no sweet words, no tender kisses, not even a "hang on, this is going to hurt like hell." His entrance into my tight canal was very painful. It took him a while to finally break through my virgin barrier. I asked if he could hold still for just a moment so I could get use to him. He laughed at me, a sound that had a hint of cruelty in it, and continued on as if I never made the request. It seemed like forever before he finally finished. I was in pain the whole time. When it was done, he smacked my hip and went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

I guess I should have been grateful that he was considerate enough to think of protection. Sex was never easy after that, at least for me. Whenever he would initiate sex, it was with no foreplay. He did not care if I had little to no natural lubrication, jamming away until he was fully seated within me. There was almost always bleeding afterwards. When I would confront him with my discomfort, he would snort at me and tell me that it was my fault if I got hurt in the act.

The day Justin came to me with his revelation, his mission to become a chef, I did not argue. I was almost too happy to buy him the ticket that would take him away from me.

--~~--

Kaden held my hand in both of his and he was squeezing it almost painfully. I tugged on my hand slightly, a signal for him to loosen his grip. Instead, he pulled me closer to him and held me in a fierce hug.

"I wonder how you can even stand the touch of another man after all that." His words were mumbled into my hair.

"There were two more lovers after him. One had a problem with premature ejaculation and had a small dick. The last one was almost as bad as Justin, but at least he used lubrication. I gave sex three good tries before I finally decided that it wasn't as great as people said it was, or my body just wasn't equipped to enjoy sex." I chuckled in a self-depreciating way. "I don't have a clue how to masturbate. I've tried it several times, but quickly got bored with it. Sure there are times when I get hot and bothered. Those are the times when I remember what sex was like for me, and the memory effectively kills my arousal."

Kaden sighed heavily. "It pisses me off that men can be that careless. I might have been a player, but at least I made sure the women got as much satisfaction as I did."

"They told me the stuff that I read in romance novels could never happen. The depth of feeling and love was just a myth." I sounded so forlorn even to my own ears. "I wasn't looking for a great romance, but a guy that would help me explore my sexuality."

He gave me a sexy smile and flashed me a roguish wink. "I'm your man. You want to explore your sexuality, I would be more than happy to do it with you." His mouth lightly touched my ear. "I'll be the only man you explore your sexuality with."

I playfully smacked his shoulder. "That's awfully presumptuous of you."

With a boyish shake to his head, he picked me up and twirled me around. "Honey, I'm going to satisfy you so well and send you into a constant world of bliss that you won't be craving any other man."

He scared me when he picked me up. I was not light by any stretch of the imagination and anytime anyone picked me up, or tried to pick me up, it sent me into a state of panic. It would have been horribly embarrassing if I had unintentionally hurt someone. "I don't doubt your prowess in bed, dear, but put me down! You'll hurt your back if you keep doing this."

Kaden started walking, with me as his burden, towards the bedroom. "Alex, honey, don't forget who you're talking too. I was in the army. This means the body with which I am picking you up, is an army brat carrying machine. I couldn't get hurt carrying you even if I tried. Speaking of the army, where's my shirt I lent you?"

I giggled at his antics. "I bronzed it and put it on my mantle."

"That was my favorite shirt, you imp!" Kaden's fake rage scared my cat. The poor guy scurried under my dining room table.

We arrived in my bedroom and he put me down. Then he started to unbutton my shirt.

"What are you doing?" The nervousness in my voice came from the ambiguity of showing my body to him.

He flashed me a reassuring grin. "Don't worry, I won't ravish you tonight. We're just going to get comfortable for what I have in store for you."

I still was not satisfied, if anything, I was more nervous. "That's not the problem; I welcome everything you have planned for me. It's just that...I'm body conscious. I don't look like anyone you've been to bed with."

His right eyebrow lifted as he helped me off with my shirt and started on my shoes. "I hope you don't look like anyone I've been to bed with, because I like you just the way I see you."

I rolled my eyes in frustration; he was not making this easy. My heart thumped heavily with anxiety. I was unsure where to put my arms. If I crossed them, the top half of my arms would bulge with flab. Maybe I should have crossed my arms over the swell of my stomach, I did not look pregnant, but it did look unsightly. Why was I just letting him take off my clothes, revealing my unprepossessing body in the process?

Giving up the battle with the placement of my arms, I stuck them to my sides and balled my hands into very tight fists. "That's not what I meant, you know."

Kaden had my pants down at this point. He glanced up at me from his crouched position and noticed my terror. Standing up to his full height, I could feel his hands reaching for my rigid ones. My whole body was as stiff as a board. If I had not been breathing, I would have sworn rigor mortis had set in.

"You're going to have to tell me what's wrong. I don't understand unless you tell me." His voice was laced with concern for my comfort. I found it rather sweet of him.

"I don't look like the type of woman you're use to having. You can't wrap your arms around me twice." There was a time when I did not look in the mirror to criticize myself. I was able to check myself over and thought of myself as a classic beauty with short hair. My opinions changed rapidly when Kaden started to take off my clothes. I stood there in my bra and panties, despite what little covering I had, I felt naked.

My eyes were closed as I waited for his verdict, my mind trying to instill faith and trust into my tattered heart. He did not make me wait long. I felt him embrace me, gently squeezing me every so often. Looking up, I saw the thoughtful expression on his face. It was that thoughtful expression and the squeezing that made me think he was attempting to judge my ripeness as one would judge the ripeness of a tomato. "What are you doing?" I finally whispered.

One more squeeze and he met my eyes. "You're right. I can only wrap my arms around you once. It seems more comfortable this way. You're probably a dream to cuddle with on the couch while watching movies." He touched his nose to mine. "I already know you're great to cuddle with in bed. The best part - huge bonus out of all the positives - is that no bones are poking out at me. I'm supposed to do the poking." The hard bulge in his pants nudged near the region of my scantly clad genitals. Fire raced from the spot and traveled wildly through the rest of my body, driving my temperature up a few notches.

"Now what do you have in mind?" There was a hopeful note in my voice where, before, there had been only fear.

Kaden drew me closer, if that was even possible, and started kissing me. He turned the small flame already heating my blood into something a little bigger. "How are you feeling now?"

"Hot. I'm sure it's going to be scalding in a second." I went in for another kiss, but he moved away. Was it something I said? That last line was rather bad.

"Do you doubt my abilities?" I shook my head 'no.' "Lay on the bed." Kaden stripped off his t-shirt and tossed it in the vicinity of my hamper.

I sat on my bed wondering what he was up to as I watched him disrobe but left his boxers on. There was an urge within me to ask what was going on, but I released it. Trusting him, I laid back on the bed thinking that it was sometimes nice to be surprised. Just looking at his lightly muscled body had me tingling in anticipation. Misgivings tried to surface again, but, like in the past with my sexual urges, I brutally squashed them. This fine specimen of a man wanted me and that was the end of it.

With my resolution firmly in place, I smiled warmly in greeting as he crawled into bed with me. Kaden situated us so that we were laying on our sides facing each other. "I have an idea," he stated

I snuggled a little closer to him. "What would that be?"

"Since I've known you, I've been trying to figure out how I can give you an orgasm." He brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes.

A sigh escaped me. An orgasm was something I constantly hoped to one day feel. All those times I wanted to force my inept lovers to help me, but never did. The times when I tried to help myself only ended in disappointment and boredom. With Kaden I wanted to feel more, the hope just was not there. Subduing hope came from practice and I had a lot of practice. I was a master at subduing my urges. The thought came to me in a sad epiphany.

Yes, I had the single-minded need to be ravished by Kaden since the moment I met him. It was simply a matter of wanting to satisfy him and possibly grasp at any fleeting pleasure I might feel along the way. An orgasm, for me, was an unattainable reality. "That's not necessary," I finally responded, "what matters to me is that you get your satisfaction." My hand stroked his cheek lovingly.

He brought it to his lips and kissed it. His luminescent eyes took on an adoring demeanor. "It's important to me. I'm one of those guys who gets his pleasure by pleasing his partner."

I closed my eyes in pain. "You'll be disappointed with me."

"There was something that happened last night. It was one of the hottest things I had ever witnessed."

Surely not in my bed. "What was that?"

"You had a wet dream. As I watched, I had this wish that you were wiggling and moving like that under me." His voice was far off as if in a daydream.

I closed my eyes, the scene he was starting to paint danced behind my eyelids. All I could do was lay there on my side and listen to him as he created an erotic scene with his hypnotic tone.

"Your head was thrown carelessly to the side as if someone was kissing your neck, slowly working their way down to your breasts." His fingers lightly caressed my neck, it was a whisper of a touch that made me shiver, created a sensation that made my pussy clench in anticipation. It was a reaction I never had with any other man.

"I could imagine myself sucking on your nipples, lightly pinching one while lovingly attending to the other as your back arched off the bed. You wanted more of my touch. I couldn't deny you, especially since you were so responsive. My free hand inched down your body." Imagination mixed with reality as he described a fabricated scenario of my wet dream, placing himself in the lead role of my delight. It muddled my senses so much that I could not tell if it actually was his hand inching down my body or a phantom touch, lost remnant of a suppressed dream.

"My pesky hand just couldn't resist teasing you though. It's journey stopped right at your soft curls, just above your clit, but not touching it. Can you feel it? Can you feel how close my hand is?" Kaden whispered the questions as if they were forbidden, as if we were doing something illegal, like a kid stealing a candy bar from a store.

The questions had to be rhetorical, because verbal communication was beyond my abilities at the time. I moaned my response and desperately lifted my hips from the bed; I wanted his touch so badly.

"I was chuckling at your eager response to my touch. A sound of surprise that you would want me so desperately. My finger gently stroked the folds of your femininity, refusing to touch your clit until I was ready. I wanted you to squirm more for me."

Oh god! Was that his hand I felt? Was my underwear allowing his hand to touch the place it shielded? I moved closer to Kaden, trapping his arm between our bodies. Although, in my state of mind, it could have all been a fantasy and that he was not actually touching me. Either way, I started to break out into a sweat, the room was getting far too warm, my breathing was becoming far too short, and my body was becoming far too frantic for more.

"My finger entered your warm canal and started a slow rhythm. All the while I was trying to find that one spot, other than your clit, that would drive you wild." I gave a little cry and my hips started a frenzied rhythm that Kaden had set. "It seemed that I was successful in finding your g-spot." He stated in a husky voice.

"I added another finger to your dripping cunt, hitting that little magical spot with an increased rhythm. Meanwhile, your hand was trying to find something to hold onto. What do you suppose that was?"

Kaden was right. My hand was clasping the sheets, trying to find something more substantial to hold onto. "You, I want to hold onto you." I frantically drew my hand down his torso, straight into his boxers, and grabbed his hard cock. His shaft was soft to the touch like velvet, yet the mushroom tip was smooth like silk. I heard him groan as my fingers explored the underside of his tip.

His voice was a little choppy as he continued. "I added yet another finger into your hungry little pussy and my thumb was playing with your clit." I cried out at his sensual assault. Something started to build within me. My hand went from exploring his dick to stroking it. I did not know what to do as I matched the movements of my hand to his, adding my other hand to massage his balls.

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