Asymmetry Ch. 04

For the next few days my mind was more than a little preoccupied. Every morning when I woke up, I inspected the fading shade of crimson on my bottom, then every time I sat down, the soft burning sensation that flew through the nerve endings in my backside reminded me of that night.

Even two weeks later, when the colour had finally faded, the memories remained vivid in my mind. The sound of every groan, every little yelp as Conrad's hand met the flesh of my behind, was immovably stitched into my mind.

And that was before I allowed myself to even contemplate the sex. If the memory of the spanking was stitched into my mind, then the memory of the way he'd fucked me was stuck there like a barnacle to the hull of a boat.

In fact, saying he'd fucked me was an understatement. He hadn't just fucked me that evening; he'd taken complete ownership of my body. He'd been so stern, so commanding, and the worst bit was I'd loved every second of it.

Before that night, I'd have considered myself the least sexual being on the planet, practically asexual in fact. Now though, I felt like a light switch had been flicked inside my head. The slightest thought of that delicious shaft pushing against my folds had me salivating like a boarhound over a rump steak. Fuck, I'd even begun to masturbate myself to sleep at night over the thought of it.

There was a downside to this sudden sexual awakening though - the fact that my mind tended to get side tracked at the least convenient times. Today, that time happened to coincide with visiting my oh-so-perfect sister. She had big news that apparently could only be relayed in person.

"Are you even listening to me, Carla? I thought you'd be happy for me?"

I looked across the living room at her. The diamond engagement ring on her finger looked magnificent, gleaming in the sunshine pouring through the window. Right now though, there was nothing I wanted to do more than rip it off her hand and smash it into a million pieces. Her conceited attitude could go to hell as far as I was concerned.

"Of course I'm happy for you, Tanya," I lied. "It's just I've been a bit distracted lately."

"I can tell," Miss Know-It-All fired straight back. "Man trouble again, is it?"

Man trouble? If only it were that simple. How about, I've just met a man to whom I'm totally magnetized, and who fucked me to the most incredible climax imaginable, yet at the same time, I'm so scared of him that I'm not sure I ever want to contact him again. That might come close to summarizing half of the stuff running through my head. The note he'd left me on the bedside table was so ruffled now that the phone number at the bottom was barely readable.

"You could say that," I replied nonchalantly.

"Well if you ever want to talk it over then I'm always here for you, Carla. But isn't it about time you settled down with someone? I mean, I'm a year younger than you and I just got engaged."

Settle down? Why was life always so simple to her? Although our physical appearance was as similar as you'd expect, our personalities couldn't have been more different. Neither of us was particularly badly behaved growing up, but she was just one of those people to whom good things always seemed to happen. I swear, if she fell into a pit of vipers, she'd climb out wearing a new pair of snakeskin boots. I was sick and tired of it.

"Like I said, Tanya, I am really happy for you." I feigned a smile. "It's not every day you get engaged after all."

"Well, sometimes you have a funny way of showing it. I know we've never been particularly close, but I want that to change, Carla. You're going to be my maid of honour, after all. I thought it'd be good if we did something together."

"What did you have in mind?"

She reached into the handbag that was at her feet and produced two credit card sized passes.

"Gym memberships? Seriously, Tanya, I'm not fat, you're certainly not fat either. You didn't need to do this."

"Not just any gym memberships," my sister replied in that condescending tone that still grated after all these years. "These are memberships to the Beechdown Health Club. Have you seen how luxurious it is? There's a spa in there as well, so don't pretend you're not thankful, Sis."

"Oh I'm definitely grateful. I just don't think any of this is necessary."

Tanya gave me the kind of gritted smile that suggested my inimical tone was starting to wear a little thin. "Well, consider it a gift from you to me. I don't think there's anything wrong with either of us toning up a little before the wedding."

A fortnight later, nothing much had changed. I remained the same sex crazed maniac I'd been ever since I'd met Conrad. I'd barely seen Suzanne, even though we'd both been around the house a lot. Instead, I'd spent much of my time locked in my room with my fingers frantically rubbing against my mound.

Much of this was intentional on my part as a tactic of avoiding my housemate at all costs. I was so embarrassed after being voyeur to her indulgence in kinky sex that I didn't dare bring up The Velvet Thorn in conversation. Even Suzanne herself had been relatively sombre about the whole affair. Ultimately, I think we both knew the reason for our vigil of silence though: We'd enjoyed ourselves far more than we'd dare to admit.

The only thing that had changed was I'd cut my sister a little slack. It pained me to say it, but she'd bought us memberships for an incredibly swish gym. Up to this point in my life, exercising on any level had been the most hellish experience imaginable. However, the plush interior and amiable atmosphere at this particular gym had almost made it bearable.

Today marked my third visit this week. I had to admit, part of the attraction was that I could watch the big macho men using the free weights out of the corner of my eye while I plodded along on the treadmill, but every greyhound needs a hare to chase, right?

There were plenty of hares to keep my eyes darting about this afternoon. I liked to think they ogled me just as much as I eyeballed them, although given the nondescript baggy t-shirt and jogging bottoms I insisted on wearing to the gym, I'm sure this was unlikely. But still, it was all part of the game to me. I had my favourites, of course. There was the cute blond guy, and the guy with arms so big, I'd nicknamed him The Hulk.

Neither of them were here today, however there was someone who'd caught my eye. I couldn't see him that well, but his sharp facial features were nicely framed by his short dark hair and...

Holy Fuck!

There he stood, the man who gave me a mini seizure every time thoughts of what he did to me crossed my mind, hoisting dumbbells above his head, so big I assumed only a Greek god would be capable of lifting them.

I double-checked to make sure it wasn't a case of mistaken identity, then turned my eyes downwards. That was always my way out of potentially awkward situations - avoid eye contact at all costs.

But this time it was so goddam difficult! I wanted so badly to hear his stern voice, to feel my heart flutter when he called me a good girl, yet at the same time I felt terrified at the thought of what he might do to me.

Breath stuck in my throat, I plucked up the courage to look up again for a split second. He'd put the dumbbells down, but there was nothing untoward about that. Even Greek gods had to take breaks, after all. What was slightly more concerning from my point of view was that he'd stood up and was now walking in my direction.

Shit, shit, shit!

I jammed my finger down on the button that increased the speed of the treadmill and tried to pretend nothing was happening. Just focus on running, I kept telling myself. I tried to count my strides to take my mind off the situation, but again my curiosity got the better of me. I looked up again. He was now halfway across the room.

Of course, there was also the chance that my panic could be in haste as well. The only downside to my perving post was the fact that it was stationed next to one of several water fountains positioned around the gym floor. Possibly, Conrad's advance across the room was merely to quench his thirst, and at the same time prove he is mortal, and not some god of super sex sent down to wreak havoc upon me.

Sensing his approach, I gave the speed of the treadmill another boost and zeroed my eyes on the floor. To my side, I heard the faint splashing of water over the usual gym hum. He was just metres away from me now.

Ever so carefully, I shifted my eyes sideward. There he was. My heart skipped a beat as he finally came into full view. He looked even more impressive up close. His dark tank top gave me a perfect view of his sculpted shoulders and arms.

Then a realisation suddenly dawned on me. As soon as he'd finished drinking, he was going to stand up and see me. What the fuck was I going to do? Faced with the choice between fight or flight, I did what only someone with the same aversion to making choices as me could do - nothing.

Ever been in a situation where you can't believe what you're doing, even as you're doing it, and yet you have absolutely no inclination to stop doing it? The man I'd been fantasizing about, the man who'd become a deity in my head, was practically within touching distance, yet all I could do was stare up at the large TV screen on the wall above and pretend nothing was happening.

However, there was one problem with this master plan that I hadn't foreseen. Having increased the pace of the treadmill several notches, I'd reached the apex of my physical limit, and it was fair to say that the rapid deterioration in my running style, combined with attempting to watch the TV screen above me, was a match made in hell.

When disaster struck, there was nothing I could do about it. If Conrad had been an elephant replenishing its thirst at the watering hole, then I was a baby giraffe, stumbling as it tried to take its first steps. As my feet stopped moving through sheer fatigue, the treadmill continued, throwing me backwards like a nightclub bouncer ejecting a drunkard.

Lying in a crumpled heap, it took me a few seconds to realise just how much a fool I'd made myself look. Then I realised that the gentle trickling sound from the water fountain had stopped. I squinted upwards to see Conrad standing over me.

"If I didn't know any better, Miss James, I'd think you were trying to avoid me."

My bottom lip quivered as I tried to utter a response. A mixture of embarrassment and fear paralysed my vocal chords. I felt like a carcass on the grass of the Sahel, with vultures circling around me.

"And it certainly doesn't seem like your instincts for survival have improved since our first meeting."

He held out a hand, which I gratefully accepted. Once he'd hoisted me to my feet, I remembered just how much his broad frame towered over me.

"Luckily for you though, Miss James, your presence in my gym is very much welcomed, even if you must insist on causing a scene everywhere you go."

"Your gym?" The words came out of my mouth in a tone that was that was almost insultingly incredulous. I looked down to the breast area of his top and noticed the gym's logo emblazoned there. "Do you work here?"

Conrad smiled. "In a manner of speaking, yes I do work here, Miss James, although I wouldn't have put it quite like that. This is one of a multitude of health clubs I own all over the country and Europe. This is the closest gym to my home, so sometimes it's convenient for me to train here, with the added bonus that I can work from an office here afterwards."

"So you own all of this?"

"If you want to put it like that, Miss James, then yes I do all own all of this. Now in future, please try to be more careful when using my equipment. I'm sure I'll see you around here another time."

I couldn't believe it. He was actually walking away from me. The man whose memory made my body ache with need was walking away from me. Was I just going to stand there and let it happen?

"Wait!"

He turned, a wry smile on his face.

"Is there something else I can help you with, Miss James?" As he walked back towards me, his smile turned into an almost menacing grin.

"I... I..."

He held his finger to my lips and I stopped stammering immediately.

"Let me guess," his finger still pressed against my lips. "The reason you chose not to contact me wasn't because you hated our time together. Am I right?"

I was so embarrassed. I felt like a small child, being given a talking to for stealing from the cookie jar. I tried not to make eye contact as I nodded my head.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Miss James. That way, I know you're taking in what I'm saying."

I complied immediately, and those dazzling emerald eyes pierced through me like they never had before.

"The reason you chose not to contact me was because you're afraid. Not of what we did, but of how your body reacted. It's perfectly natural to be scared of something new, but now your mind is pining for more submissive experiences, and you're not sure what to do."

I nodded again.

"Well, let me tell you something, Miss James, and make sure you're listening carefully." A sinister tone pervaded his voice now. "I've seen a lot of women react the way you have. Someone ties them up, fucks them hard, and they have a whole new world opened up to them. But there's something very different about you, Miss James. Do you know what it is?"

I shook my head as he dropped his finger away from my mouth and moved his lips to my ear.

"What's different about you is that you're the only woman who's caused me to have a similar reaction. You have no idea the trouble you've caused me, thinking about you night and day, longing to see that sweet body of yours again. I must admit, I thought you may have slipped through my grasp. Our chance meeting today has come as a very, very welcome surprise."

As it landed on my earlobe, the hot air from his mouth sent a surge of electricity up my spine. I shivered uncontrollably and felt my knees buckle beneath me, before Conrad grabbed hold of my wrists to stop me falling.

"Th... Thank you," I gasped.

"If you're going to thank me for anything, then thank me for reading your mind, Miss James. If it wasn't for that I have a good feeling I'd still be waiting for you to explain yourself." He released his hold on me. "Now, why don't you show me what you can do on this treadmill."

I hopped back onto the machine. This was a strange situation for me now. My lack of athletic experience meant I'd never received anything that amounted to actual tuition on my physical ability before. I was caught in two minds. Do I play it safe, keep the machine on relatively low, but risk a grilling for lack of effort? Or should I try and impress Conrad by turning the speed up high, and risk the humiliation of having to stop?

For some reason, I chose the latter. My running style resembled a duck sprinting across hot coals, and the bemused look on Conrad's face told me my bravado did not impress him. He didn't stop me immediately, though. Instead, he allowed me to work myself into a frenzy of long, drawn out breaths, before jamming his hand down on the stop button.

"You know what I see here, Miss James?" he said as I slumped over the front of the machine. "I see a lack of confidence. Everything, from the way you dress, to the way you act, tells me you lack self-esteem."

I looked down at my ill-fitting t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms and knew he was right.

"Of course, I could be the one to give you that confidence," he continued. "I've seen many people like you, Miss James, watching life pass them by. Never going out and grabbing what they really want. Do you know why that is?"

My bottom lip trembled as I spoke. "No."

"It's because they're afraid, Miss James. Afraid of what the world might think of them. I can see it in you, too. You need nurturing and guidance to be everything you can be."

I was almost too afraid to speak. I'd never experienced what I felt inside before. It was as if Conrad had put his hand inside me and pulled out my soul, and was now examining it in the most intricate detail. Half of my mind urged him to stop, while the other half willed him to carry on.

"What do you mean?"

"I've always believed each of us is either a leader or a follower, Miss James, and there is certainly nothing wrong with being a follower. It takes an incredible amount of mental strength to surrender and let someone else take control."

As the energy of his stare took hold of me, the cogs in my brain ground to a halt. No one had ever understood me that well, but here Conrad was, picking apart the labyrinth of my mind like he was reading a book. It was the most cared for I'd ever felt in my life. Deep down, I began to feel the same urge I'd felt the first time we'd met. The urge to please him, to make him happy.

"Yes, I think I understand."

"Oh, I'm sure you think you understand, Miss James. But at the same time you're an intelligent woman, you know you still have a huge amount to learn about yourself. I'm sure you realise that this is more than just a game to me, and that scares you a little bit, doesn't it?"

I nodded my head. "A little, I suppose."

He moved his face closer towards me. "Well, I need to tell you, Miss James, you have no reason to feel scared. Submission is incredibly immersive, and you wouldn't feel the attraction you do now unless it was part of your nature. I want to guide you, and if you can learn to trust me, I promise you that you won't regret it. There'll be times that your nervous, sometimes even terrified. However, what you have to remember is I am here to take care of you, and while there are times when I may hurt you, under my control you will come to absolutely no harm. I want to introduce you to sensations so blissful, you could've never dreamt of them."

My whole body felt numb and my fingers trembled. I nodded my head.

"Why don't you follow me? I want to show you something."

Without waiting for a response, he turned, and like an obedient duckling waddling after its mother, I followed him across the gym floor. I found him so intimidating, yet at the same time he held an allure in my mind that was magnetic. Once we'd reached the other side of the room, he led me down a short flight of stairs, before we reached a door.

"Well, here we are," he said as he opened it. "Welcome to my office."

A plush dark leather sofa occupied the far end of the room and a wide screen television hung from the wall. A large wooden table dominated the centre of the room. Conrad rummaged through a chunky, mahogany desk at the other end.

He pulled a dark silk scarf from one of the drawers and moved towards me. "Do you trust me, Miss James?" he said, running the smooth material through his fingers.

My limbs tingled with apprehension. Normally, I'd have cursed myself for coming this far out of my comfort zone, but by now I felt like I was fulfilling some kind of destiny. There was so much coincidence in our meeting, it was absurd. It was fate. It had to be.

"Yes." The words came out of my mouth more as breath than as actual words. My vocal chords were disabled by a mixture of terror and wanton lust.

"Good girl." Conrad moved so close that I could practically taste the masculine aroma of his aftershave. "But can you remember how I like to be addressed?"

My stomach churned and my heart pounded. Of course I remembered. The memory remained the one thing that without fail always caused my knees to tremble and my centre to melt.

"Yes, Sir."

Conrad smiled. Without uttering another word, he lifted the scarf to my head and wrapped it around my eyes. I'd expected him to bind my wrists, as he'd done with his necktie during our first meeting. However, the loss of my vision was just as exhilarating as the restriction of my limbs had been.