Avoidance

They are now in post-coital repose and he must extract himself quickly from the scene. This can be difficult because most females want to be embraced in the aftermath of sexual pleasure.

One method of extrication is to announce, "I promised my grandmother I would drop in on my way home tonight." This is not often believed and more acceptable might be, "I'm due to run in a marathon tomorrow so I'd better leave you; you see, you're so desirable that I might spend all night making love with you and I'd be too weak to run in the morning."

This might work, but a better method, and one I recommend, is to be patient and hope the girl goes to sleep. If she does the avoider quietly gets off the bed, dresses, and taking a small note book and pencil from his pocket he writes, "Thanks very much," puts the note on the pillow, and leaves. He never writes his address, telephone number or his full name.

Avoiders please understand that no avoider ever goes anywhere without a note book or pencil for precisely this purpose.

Chapter 4. If the Worst Happens.

Now let us suppose that the girl has lied about being on the pill. The sexual union has born fruit and she is highly desirous for marriage, money or both. The avoider may not have given her any means of contacting him but she may ask around and someone will finger him. What can the avoider do?

He may flee to another state or town, but what with spy satellites, surveillance cameras, unreasonable social welfare departments, unscrupulous lawyers and private detectives, he has little chance of escape.

He may of course deny paternity, and with luck and female promiscuity he may after tests prove not to be the father. This is, however, a long shot, because females have an almost unerring instinct for the identity of daddy.

My own recommendation is that he takes flight to Brazil because our country has no extradition arrangements with that country.

Failing all this, the avoider is possibly caught and must pay up or marry the girl. Most avoiders always remain avoiders at heart and make very unsatisfactory partners, but let me end with a happy scenario.

The girl may turn out to be very tolerant and accepting of his peccadillos, and remember the luxury flat? She might turn out to be wealthy as well.