Awakening

Warning: This story contains incest, lesbian scenes, water sports, group sex, mild bondage and exhibitionism as well as probably half a dozen other fetishes. If any of that upsets you please read no further. All characters in this story are over 18 years of age. Do not practice unprotected sex, always be safe and sleep with people you trust. Now with the boring bit over, on with the story!

*****

I knelt before my brother's door with my hand in my knickers, diddling myself stupid while I watched him through the gap, whacking off to some blond whore moaning unconvincingly on his PC monitor and it was the most excited I'd ever been. It's not that I found him attractive, he was a slovenly fat slob who couldn't be arsed to do anything, didn't wash enough and spent his entire life playing games or watching porn. But it was the first act of sex that I'd ever witnessed in person. I know I was not attractive either. I liked food too much, I was too shy to talk to anybody and I spent most of my time locked up in my own room reading to escape the reality that I sucked so hard in the real world. If a boy ever looked twice at me I'd probably have had a heart attack from shock. So of course, pathetic eighteen year old virgin that I was, seeing my older brother lamely wank his small dick was a massive turn on. I've watched porn, I knew his cock was not that impressive, but seeing a real one was completely different. It made the possibilities of what a dick could do seem more real.

My fingers sloshed in my cunt as I imagined it was me holding his dick, giving him pleasure, making someone, even if it was my dirty, stinking brother, see me in a sexual way. I'd do it so well he'd be begging for me to make him cum and I'd deny him, make him pleasure me first, I'd have power over him, turn him into my slave. Every day when I came home from school I'd make him eat me out and tease him with the possibility of seeing my boobs. I'd make him wank in front of me and then lick the cum off the floor. One day, after he'd begged enough I might even let him fuck me...

Our parents came home while I was kneeling there, lost in my own world and mum shouted up the stairs.

"Dinner in an hour!"

I fell over trying to get away from the gap in the door of Nick's bedroom as I saw his head turning to answer. I tried desperately not to make any noise as I scrambled back to my room and Nick answered.

"How about you Susi?" Mum called when I failed to respond in reasonable time.

I closed the door as quietly as I could and took a breath before calling out.

"Ok mum."

Once my heart had stopped trying to break out of my rib cage, and I was utterly certain no one was coming to investigate my wild flight, I settled down for the rest of the hour and back into my fantasies about using and abusing my brother.

-------

It was probably an hour or two after lights out that I woke to a presence in my room. I could tell immediately from the lumbering steps and heavy breathing it was my asthmatic brother.

"What do you want?" I whispered fiercely, turning over to face the shadowy presence.

I felt the mattress shake and shift under his weight as he climbed onto it.

"You were watching me wank, weren't you?" he whispered back. I could feel his breath on my face as he straddled my prone form over the covers.

"What are you doing?" I demanded disentangling my arms from the duvet and trying to push him away.

"Answer me, little bitch," he said, grabbing hold of my wrists and forcing them back above my head.

Nick has always been a bully to me. He's always been stronger, pushed me around physically and emotionally, known what to say to hurt me most. Right now he was intent on making me feel small, and it worked.

"I'll call mum and dad," I warned weakly.

"Do that and you'll never see my cock again."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wasn't sure what was stopping me, but the sexual thrill of seeing it earlier had been incredibly powerful. Maybe I didn't want to lose that, or maybe I was scared that Nick would tell our parents I'd been spying. Instead I closed my mouth and said nothing.

I could almost feel Nick smirking.

"So my fat little bitch of a sister is so desperate for cock she will do anything to see one." The words were hurtful, but my twat juiced up at them all the same.

"That's not..." I started, but Nick interrupted me.

"So you're saying you don't want to see it again?" He paused and I failed to answer. "Didn't think so."

I felt his weight shift again, he let go of my wrists and started to shuffle up my torso. I was starting to be able to smell the musky unwashed scent of his groin, and it was making me short of breath. I felt heat building in my cheeks and my cunt became even damper. Was he going to show it to me, was he going to wank for me? I wished I had my arms free to masturbate myself, but they were trapped above my head now by his legs which were either side of my head.

My eyes had adjusted to the dimness of the room and now I could see he was wearing boxers with a slit down the front, mere inches away from my face.

"Do you want to see it?" His whispered question sounded pretty forceful. I opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say. Admitting that I did would be a huge and terrifying thing. But then I would get to see it up close and that was something I really did want. I settled for trying to nod. He pretended innocence.

"I didn't hear you, do you want to see it?" I gritted my teeth. This was how he was going to play it? My heart was thumping in my chest. This was so exciting, and I really did want to see it. I'd never been so close to a grown man's privates. No guy had ever shown the remotest interest in me. Could I give up this chance? Would I, so fat and unattractive as I was, get another?

"Yes," I croaked, my excitement making my throat dry.

"I didn't hear you," he teased,

"Yes," I whispered louder.

"I don't believe you."

"Please let me see it." I was getting frustrated and so super horny at this point. Why was he such a butt head?

"Why should I let you?" What? He was the one offering, wasn't he, or was this a test? Something to make fun of her later for. My desperation won through.

"Please, I'll do anything, let me see your cock!"

"I'll hold you to that." His hands went to the slit in his boxers and he pulled out his member. It was already hard, probably turned on by his stupid power play over me. I wriggled, wishing my arms were free, desperate to plunge my fingers deep in my cunt as I took in it's shadowy shape and earthy scent. I breathed deeply the smell, felt a huge wave of arousal wash over me and I shuddered in a miniature orgasm.

"You like that, do you, desperate slut?" he muttered. My sex twinged at the last words. I was in a sea of sexual desire and being called that made me want to be it. That probably explains why, when he pushed his dick head toward my mouth with his hand, I opened up like a good girl. Or, I guess more correctly, like a bad girl.

I'd never sucked a cock before, but it felt so good to have it in my mouth. I licked at it with my tongue, tasting all the stale sweat and piss and cum that encased it and somehow that was the best taste in the world. I wanted more. I pushed my head forward, engulfing more of it in my mouth, swirling my tongue around, but he pushed my head back.

"No, you do what I want you to. You promised, remember."

He pulled it out of my mouth and my tongue followed it as far as it could, licking the slit on the end as he dangled it above me. Then he fucked my mouth.

It wasn't big, maybe four inches, so it didn't gag me as I'd seen in some porn, but it did stretch my mouth wide. I tried to make it good for him. I was carried away by the fog of sexual need. I sucked and licked and tried not to let my teeth touch as I'd read about in those sex tip stores in girly magazines, and it wasn't long before he tensed up, his grip on my hair tightening as he plunged all the way in, pulling my hair up to force my face onto his cock for the last time and came on the back of my tongue. I swallowed without thinking and only caught the hint of a taste of his cum.

He spent a moment with his pubic hair shoved up my nose while his cock shrank and he caught his breath. Then he got up and off the bed and disappeared out my door without a word.

I felt dirty, used, disgusted at myself, and I curled up in a ball and fucked myself with my fingers as I relived every moment again and again.

-------

The next day at school was bad. I felt really disgusted at myself for sucking my repulsive brother's dick, for pretty much begging him to let me. I felt unclean and aroused and completely distracted from anything that was going on in the classroom. Normally ignored by the teachers as mediocre but not a trouble maker, I had been on the receiving end of their ire for the first time in a long time for not paying attention. And Maisey had cornered me with her friends and slapped me around until I gave her my lunch money. I tried several times, but she'd slapped it out of my hands and made me pick it up for her, but she kept kicking me while I tried picking it up. Still, eating less was probably a good thing.

So by the time I got home I was tired, bruised, hungry and feeling generally like shit. Cue the repulsive Nick's demands.

"Oy, desperate fat slut, come up here." The corpulent arsehole shouted down the stairs.

"What do you want?" I shouted, not in the mood for more bullying.

"I want to give you something." Intrigued I dropped my bag by the door and stomped my way up the stairs. Could he have been feeling guilty about last night? Might he actually have bought me something? In the doorway to his bedroom I stopped and stared. He was sitting at his computer with his jeans and pants around his ankles and a boner poking up. On the screen another porn video was paused. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on then." He said waving his hand at his cock.

"I'm hungry," I countered.

"So, I'll feed you," he leered at me. I turned away, shaking my head.

"Do it, or I'll tell mum you were spying on me." I stopped and turned, considering potential rebufs, but my eyes fell on his dick, and memories of the previous night came back, the feeling of being a sexual being, and I wanted that back, I wanted to feel like I was more than an ugly lump of flesh. So I walked over and knelt beside him.

"No, not there, under the desk." My cheeks reddened. He wanted to hide me, to get off to the chicks on the screen. I felt hollow, but I was close, I could smell it now, and I really wanted to suck it.

I backed under the desk. Nick moved his chair in, trapping me there. His cock was inches away and I looked at it close up for the first time in real light. I saw the bulging veins and the purple pulsing head, I rubbed my face on it, wanting to feel it, but unable to get my hands up to it in the cramped confines.

"What are you doing?" came Nick's voice, muffled by the table, as he pushed it down towards my mouth with his hand.

I took it in and heard the video start. This time, though I was able to set my own pace and I bobbed my head up and down, licking every part of his cock, exploring all the veins and ridges, sliding my tongue along the slit and I even had a chance to lick his balls which seemed to go down well. Meanwhile he ignored me and the stupid fake moaning from above doubled and tripped as more girls were brought into the scene. I was enjoying sucking his cock though, his meat in my mouth somehow making me feel complete. It didn't matter that I was being ignored. I was always ignored. Why should it be different when I was sucking my brother's cock. At least this time I had my hands free. I started to caress myself through my soaked underwear.

"What are you doing?" Nick sounded annoyed. "Work harder, stupid bitch."

The words of abuse gave me a sexual thrill. I was a stupid bitch, I realised. I was so stupid that I let my own brother use me for his sexual gratification. I didn't deserve pleasure, especially if it detracted from his. I was so pathetic and worthless, he was far more important than me.

This new self beration gave me a new energy. I would try not to be worthless. I would prove that I was good for something even if that was sucking my brother's dick while he watched porn. I repeated it as a litany in my head over and over. I'm a stupid, worthless bitch, I deserve to be used. It's more than I deserve. I don't deserve to cum.

He liked my renewed enthusiasm and soon was grabbing my face to fuck it to completion. The back of my head bumped repeatedly against the underside of the desk as he roughly shoved his groin into my mouth. It hurt, as did my mouth from the pounding, but it felt like a good hurt, like it was accomplishing something. Again, he came as deep in my mouth as he could and I felt a twinge of regret that I couldn't taste it properly and complete the experience. Instead I had to swallow it or risk choking.

He let go of my head with a sigh and settled back, spreading his legs and putting his feet on my kneeling legs like I was some furniture to rest on. My sexual arousal was so incredibly strong, and it seemed to be made even stronger by my resolve not to do anything about it. I didn't deserve to cum, I would just give pleasure. It almost made me vibrate with the need to please. My body seemed to have a mind of it's own and started to hump my cunt against thin air. I rested my head on his thigh, staring at the cock that was still covered in my spit only a few inches away. My stomach growled, trying to remind me that it hadn't had anything since breakfast, but even that hunger felt good. It was good that I was hungry. I didn't deserve food. I was a disgusting piece of fat meat and I should be proud to be allowed to suck my brother's cock.

I moved my face towards it again and tried to take it's limp flesh in my mouth, to pleasure him again, but he pushed me off.

"Fuck off, whore, I'm too sensitive," Nick moaned. He shifted his chair away from the desk, pushing off of my legs, and waved his hand dismissively below the level of the desk. I crawled out, juices sloshing around in my twat as my chubby legs rubbed together giving me beautiful and terrible friction. I wanted to remain horny, to remain in that space of accepting who I was, how worthless I was. I knew the moment I came that would change from acceptance and completeness to self loathing.

"Thank you," I whispered. I don't think he heard. He was busy moving his chair back in, and I could hear him booting up a game. I rose to my feet and walked back to my room, face down, trying to hide it in my hair. No doubt it was a mess, make-up smeared from the abuse I'd received throughout the day, and I didn't want to catch my reflection, or let anyone see me.

Back in my room I closed the door, cried, masturbated, but never let myself cum. I wanted that horniness to stay for ever, to just accept my place as a thing to abuse. It gave me meaning, more than I'd ever had before.

-------

Dinner came and went, complete with the familiar familial arguments about Nick's lack of drive to get a job or do anything. My parents ignored me, and I was fine with that. I kept myself amused, picking at my food and imagining I was under the table, sucking Nick's cock while everyone else had dinner. Maybe once I'd finished Nick's I'd suck dad's too. That would be my dinner, the only one I deserved. The shame of imagining myself the family whore was exquisite. Nick's prick was quickly becoming the centre of my life, and I was desperate for dinner to finish, for the lights to go out, for the chance to be worth something again.

Once they did I could barely wait. I stood by my door, listening to the bed time rituals of my family. It took for ever. So long, in fact that years seemed to pass, and my constant state of arousal ebbed and flowed, reaching delectable peaks of imagined debasement and troughs of near self loathing where I'd throw myself on the bed and cry about how pathetic I was. But I kept it together, just, and as silence settled over the house I crept out of my room and into Nick's.

"What do you want, mum?" he muttered sleepily and I noticed a flurry of activity under the covers. He'd probably been masturbating.

"Shh," I said, and he was quiet, if only for a moment. I started toward the bed.

"So the desperate fat slut really can't get enough." There was a disgusting amount of gloating in his hushed voice. "Can't wait for my big cock down your throat again? What a whore. Can't blame you though."

I didn't bother to correct him, to tell him that I needed his belittlement and abuse to feel good. No, not good, acceptable. Acceptable was the best I could ask for. I knelt down by his bed.

"Please can this fat slut pleasure your beautiful cock?" I whispered, clasping my hands as if in prayer. It felt amazing to say out loud. I'd been rehearsing it every time I started to feel low, and having someone else hear that you agreed you were pathetic and worthless was an incredible thrill. My stomach took this opportunity to rumble. I'd really not had much for dinner, or at all today.

"Hungry for my cum?" he sneered and pulled back the covers. "Well, get on with it."

I crawled up onto the bed between his legs and busied myself. I was starting to learn what he liked, which bits gave him pleasure or got too sensitive if stimulated too long. I worked hard, enjoying his stench and taste. He must have pissed before going to bed because the taste of fresh pee was smeared all over the head and shaft, and I lapped it up, moaning unintentionally.

"Yeah, you like that," he groaned sleepily, and I felt his hands grasp my hair and I let him use me. My scalp hurt as he pulled it around and I took pleasure in it. This was what I deserved, to have my hair pulled like Maisey did. A twinge went through me at the thought. Maisey pulling my hair. It almost seemed sexual now, me submitting to her, letting her pummel me, giving her my things. I pushed the thoughts aside. Here and now, with my juices running down my legs and my fat cunt quivering with desperate need, I was my brother's whore.

I couldn't help myself, I straddled his leg, lowered my dripping snatch to it and started to hump.

He came deep in my mouth again. Again I felt that regret at not having had the chance to savour his gift to me. I collapsed on his leg, grinding gently, knowing that if I pushed myself too far I'd cum and actually regret it. Gently I kept his softening cock in my mouth, sucking it with the lightest pulls, but after a couple of minutes he pushed me away.

"You'd better clean up my leg, you disgusting piece of shit. I don't want your smelly slime on me."

I crawled down and started licking at the wetness I'd left on his leg.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I almost sobbed. He didn't deserve to have me sullying him like that. He might smell like a pig, but at that moment, the smell of my arousal was the most shameful thing in the world. How could I be so nasty.

I tasted my cunt juices for the first time. Slightly fishy, very gooey, not unpleasant to me. But then I reflected that I was a depraved fat whore, so of course it wouldn't. I cleaned him with my mouth and dried him with my hair.

As I was skulking out he turned over to look at me.

"I like you on your knees. You should be on them when you're round me, like the animal you are."

I went to my hands and knees and started crawling out.

"I get morning wood too," he whispered, leaving the thought in the air. I shuddered at the prospect of more opportunities to indulge my new found subservience.

-------

I set my alarm early, but I never realised what time our parents got up at. They were already bustling around the house when it went off. I didn't dare sneak into Nick's bedroom while they were there in case they came to wake one of us. Instead I waited for Nick to get up and head for the bathroom. It was a gamble, often he didn't arise before I left to go to school, but I was lucky today.