Bad Girl

I wanted everyone to see my pussy, see my nice breasts. Soon I no longer bothered with a bra.

It progressed to the point where I was carefully measuring my skirts to be sure that even standing up the bottom hemline was nearly level with my pussy. I only wore them that incredibly short around the house. My husband's friends were often there, they would be drinking and looking at me as I carelessly sat there, letting my legs open, letting them look.

I told myself I was doing it for my husband, but the truth is I was doing it for me.

I also sometimes wore T-shirts and nothing else, the armholes so large they came almost to my waist. I made them that way myself, to make it very easy to show anyone who wanted to look my breasts. I carefully cut the bottoms off, sewed in a hem to make them shorter.

That very soon progressed to some of the men trying to touch me when they thought my husband was not watching, I pushed their hands away at first.

I mentioned to him that some of his friends were very grabby, he just grinned and told me it was OK, they just liked the way I looked.

I was surprised at that, did he actually want me to let them touch me? I soon figured out that he did. So that happened also, they would want to dance with me, their hands all over me, slipping under what little clothing I wore.

It all got to be blatant, it no longer was innocent or accidental, actually, it hadn't been around our house for quite some time. It was not exciting to me to be like that but it seemed to be for my husband. I only wished to please him.

My husband had gotten so that my being exposed, looked at really didn't get him going so much. It took more, and then even more.

One day he told me he wanted me to have my body waxed. I knew they did that at a nearby spa, so I went, actually expecting it to be a woman. It turned out to be a man, later I found out my busband had called and made arrangements.

I went ahead with it, lying there completely naked as he did my underarms, then his hands were all over me between my legs. He even rolled my legs back one at a time and carefully did my anus.

I thought that being naked like that with a male stranger would set me off. Nothing happened at all. My husband grinned excitedly when I got home, wanting to know all about it, if I had enjoyed it.

I lied to him, I knew he was excited and I wanted to please him. I told him detail how the man had fondled me, brought me to orgasm, actually slid his fingers inside. My husband became very arroused, he pressed me back and pounded at me. I even managed a tiny orgasm.

Things came to a head one night, several of his friends had gathered like they did almost every night now. There was only one woman there besides me, and she was letting the guys feel her up. They kept pulling her top up, feeling her breasts.

I even saw my husband with his hand up her shirt, which irritated me. That night everyone became quite a bit drunker than usual, someone had shown up with a quart of whiskey instead of the usual beer.

One of the guys asked me if I would get up and do a little dance for them. I told him no, but the other girl that was there that night did. She danced and stripped until she was completely naked. Very quickly there was encouragement from the others for me to do the same.

Then my husband added to it by telling me to go ahead and do it. I looked at him, then thought why not?

I danced and teased, then finally I ended up naked with everyone cheering and yelling at me to spread them.

"Go for it, Michelle, spread them!" I heard them yelling. I wasn't going to actually go that far, then I glanced over at my husband. He nodded at me, I saw he had his arm around the other girl, and was touching her breast.

So I got down on the floor and did that, too. Somehow it wasn't the same, being completely naked like that was different. It didn't excite me, and I felt a flash of anger at my husband. I was starting to get up, to gather my clothes when one of the men was suddenly there. His pants were down, I saw a flash of gray and looked down at his penis, rigid and jutting out at me.

It looked huge, he was poking it at me like a weapon, trying to hold me still enough to get it inside me. I squirmed away, but he grabbed my legs and pulled me back. I looked over at my husband for help but he was just standing there grinning, his hand now busy under the other girl's blouse.

I kicked frantically and managed to get loose, then ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Everyone left not long after that, I stayed in there until I was sure they were gone.

My husband acted mad, he wanted to know why I didn't just let his friend fuck me. He was very drunk. I told him I didn't want to. Then we were shouting at each other, and he slapped me. I slapped him right back, but somehow I was on the floor, it was like my head exploded. I managed to get up and scoot away as he came at me, hitting at me. I hit him back, then I was scratching at him. He ripped my clothing, I felt the wall behind me. Then my head exploded again and I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up to lights in my face and pain. It was a very long time before I began to feel normal again. My jaw was broken, several teeth knocked out. He broke my nose, crushed my cheekbone, I had a skull fracture.

They spoke at length about how they were not sure if they could save my eye. I lay there, wanting to die. I even tried to hold my breath so I could die but that didn't work.

I was still in some of the bandages when I testified, they found my husband guilty, he was sent to jail for five years. The entire time I was on the witness stand he never once looked at me. They told me I did not have to testify, but I wanted to.

Five years? I didn't think it was enough. I now felt nothing at all for him.

Magic Doctors. They rebuilt me, they made me. I changed my name to Meridith, the last name came along later.

I remember sitting in my Doctor's office, he was looking at me and touching me, inspecting me like I was a fine paint job on his car.

"I think you are my very best work, Michelle." He said.

"It's Meridith." I told him.

"Yes. Meridith, such a pretty name for such a beautiful woman." He smiled at me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

I realized he was standing in a way that he could see down the front of my blouse. I let my shoulder fall forward slightly, allowed him to look. I felt those same familiar sensations, strange since this doctor had seen my naked body many times.

Then I got up, smiled sweetly at his reddish face, thanked him and walked out the door. Had he asked to fuck me I would have let him. Not because I wanted to, but because of what they did for me. I know I would have, I have thought of that moment many times.

He didn't ask. At that moment, I realized that I was now someone entirely different. I remember laughing hysterically as I walked down the long hallway.

The money I got in the divorce didn't last long, there really wasn't much to begin with except for one thing, my husband carried an umbrella policy.

Without that, I would today be ugly still. It was enough, it paid for everything.

One million dollars, that bought me a new face, a new life.

I was reading the help wanted ads, and I spotted the one for the clinic. That idea had never crossed my mind, it was just an accident that I even read that ad.

I knew the job would involve sex, exposure. At that point in my new life, I just did not care. I knew I did want fine things, a good life, and I knew that if I wanted that, I had to do it myself.

The only real job I ever had before was as a waitress.

I applied, my phone rang the next day and I was part of their staff. It was that easy. I am sure that a good part of that was because of the way I look.

They put me through a very long training period. I wasn't upset when they mentioned that some of the successful sessions would end up in intercourse. I had expected that. They taught me to recognize signs, how to encourage men, I learned a lot of tricks.

Then came the day that I was assigned to my first case. He was an older married man named Glenn. They showed me his case files, I read them. They told me he was close to ready for release, and had been working with the other surrogate for several months. The last test would be for me to seduce him, then add to the report.

That is the way they said it, seduce him. I wanted to laugh but I kept a straight face. How does a woman actually seduce a man who has to know very well what is coming?

I knew that this first case was as much for me as it was for the client. I wanted success, that is how I forced myself to think of it.

A man I did not know was going to enter me, into my most intimate and private parts, and I was going to allow that. More, I was going to join in with enthusiasm.

At that point, I had been with just two men in my entire life, and the last had been nearly 7 years before. Most of a decade had been hospitals, operations. There was no time or opportunity for sex.

I did not miss that during those years.

My office is nice, it has a big desk, a huge leather couch, a TV set. There is even a gas fireplace off to the side, and a door that opens into what is a nice bedroom. It is equipped with a small bar, it is more like a comfortable hotel room than an office.

Carrie, one of the staff assistants knocked on my door, showed Glenn in and introduced him. I saw the smile light up his face when he saw me. Carrie grinned and left.

Glenn and I chatted for quite a long time, he was really a nice looking man. I served him a small glass of very nice wine. He was slightly balding, his temples gray, he looked to be somewhere in his fifties.

We were talking about everything under the Sun, and he spoke quite a bit about his wife, Jan. Our other surrogate, Jeanie, had also been working with her, he said.

Finally I asked him if it was all right if I checked his responses, he said sure. I took him into the side room, asked him to lie on the bed and make himself comfortable. He smiled when I asked him if it was all right if I removed some of his clothing, I was leaning over him at the time. I knew he could see most of my breasts when I did that. I felt a tiny flash of pleasure, it had been a long time since I felt that.

When I removed the last of his clothing and took his penis in my hands, it started to react. He was not large, he was perhaps five inches long, it grew to closer to six inches as I stroked him.

I had my first tiny orgasm as I let my thumb slide over the rubbery end of it. Those same familiar sensations began, I felt more waves of pleasure.

"May I join you?" I asked him. I managed to hide my fear of what I was going to allow. Yes, there were several instants of fear, mixed in with moments of pleasure.

He nodded, watching me closely as I slowly removed my own clothing. His eyes dropped down to my pussy, I still kept it completely waxed. His eyes widened when he saw my very prominent lips. I was completely aroused, as I reached down and stroked his erection. It was holding fairly well, then he turned onto his side and reached out to touch me with a sigh.

This was my job. My job to let this man engage in sex with me, do just about anything he wanted to. And he did. He slid up on top of me, inserting himself with a groan. I clamped down, feeling him harden even more.

One surprise is that he lasted quite a long time, then finally I felt his thrusts quicken as I met each one as strongly as I could. I felt the blast of his sperm, he moaned out loud, then his strokes softened and he lay there holding me.

I was no longer afraid, it was actually very easy.

Finally he sat up, turning to look at me. I felt no pleasure as he looked at my naked body. He glanced down, I opened my legs so he could see me. Looking over at his penis, I saw he was actually still partly erect.

"You are a really wonderful lover, Glenn!" I told him, reaching out to gently stroke him some more.

"That was amazing, I really didn't expect...." I smiled up at him as his voice trailed off.

"You didn't think you would actually be fucking me, did you?" I increased the pressure on his penis, he shuddered slightly but didn't get any harder.

"I knew of course that we might." Oddly he now seemed to be mildly shy about it. It popped into my head that he apparently had not been intimate with Jeanie, the other surrogate on staff, and I wondered why.

"Well, now I want you to go home and grab your wife Jan, and fuck her with no mercy. We both know you can now for sure!" I grinned. I was moving my hips slowly, rubbing my pussy against his leg. I felt him begin to harden in my hand at that.

"I would rather fuck you!" He said.

"Don't tell her that!" I laughed. For an instant, I felt a flash of suspicion. Glenn's comments were not quite right.

That is the story of my very first time. I let a man I didn't know fuck me. Yes, it is fucking, and just fucking. It is not lovemaking, that is a completely different thing.

I do not engage in lovemaking, I doubt I ever will again.

The surprise came later. I wrote the report, turned it in. Dr. Hajjari, the clinic director called me into his office for a chat. He is a tiny middle eastern man with a goatee. He had done a lot of my training, not one time did he ever suggest nudity or make any effort at anything other than teaching me the things I would need to know.

He asked me how it went, I just told him fine. Then he asked me how the actual intercourse went, and he even asked me if I enjoyed it.

I was honest with him, explaining that I did enjoy the touching and the seduction, but felt little really during the act itself.

"You really can turn off the emotions then, can't you? That is important is this kind of work."

"Yes, I can. I don't think I will have any problems at all."

"It's a rare woman that can do that, it makes you a perfect surrogate."

That is when he told me that Glenn, the man I just let fuck me two days before, was actually a former client that had long since recovered.

Plus they cheated a bit, he used Viagra which explained his virility. Glenn was one of those with real medical issues, solved simply with medication. Doctor Hajjari grinned at me, as I sat there with a confused look on my face.

"We had to know about you, we had to know if you could do it."

"Yes, I can do it. But..what about his wife, Jan?" I smiled at him, got up.

"Jan runs the company that does our accounting. She knows." He grinned.

I laughed, that was funny. That had just been a test, one I had obviously passed. But I had suspected that something wasn't quite right with Glenn, if he really was a client.

It was a bit later before it struck me that Glenn was paid to do his job, also. That was even funnier to me.

I am paid nearly $100,000 per year. I am paid to teach men, help them. I am paid to sometimes fuck them. I like men, I like to touch them, tease them, control them. I like to make them do my bidding.

I also hate some men, I do not trust. I know what they can do. Michelle died at a man's hands, Meridith was born.

Michelle was soft and sweet, naive. Meridith is not soft or sweet at all, yet no one can tell, not really.

I will never marry again, I will never take a mate. All I need to do to make me sure of that is touch my face. I can feel my face with my hands.

I cannot feel my hands with my face.

Those nerve endings are long gone. Those were cut to build my new face.

That means that I will always remember, and I will never forget. My doctors did say that some of the nerve endings might grow back. I know sometimes my nose itches, that is all so far except for a tiny stab of pain in my right cheekbone when I go outside into a cold breeze.

Perhaps one day one of you, perhaps even a few of you? You might even get to fuck me. It is so easy for me to say that word, to type it. That is what I do, I try to train men, help them so they can fuck me.

None of them can never have me, ever. There is a difference, and they will never even know.

I am Meridith. Meridith Anders. I am a sexual surrogate. I am a creation. I am a bad girl.

I am a very bad girl. I tease, manipulate, I offer untruths to get men to do what I want them to.

I do not like myself, but I can never go back.

Excuse me now, I need to go let the tears flow. That I can still do, it helps.

Then I shall just go to work. The money is very good. I can pretend to be happy.

I will try to heal men. It is what I do.