tagCelebrities & Fan FictionBanging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 01

Banging Big Time Is No Theory Ch. 01


Amy's slumber party

"I can't thank you and Bernadette enough for this, "Amy said to Penny. "The only slumber party I had growing up was with my teddy bear 'Isaac Newton', my cat, 'Madame Curie' and my hamster 'bubbles'. It was a truly torrid affair, 'Madame Curie' wound up eating 'Bubbles' and got sick and I wound up in bed with 'Isaac Newton', needless to say my mother never let me have another."

Unaffected by the names of Amy's pets and bear, Penny replied while fixing the pillows on the couch, "we are more than happy to Amy, I must admit after the day I had, staying in and getting drunk with you two will be more fun and getting drunk at some nightclub and end up getting sick in some strange guys bathroom." Penny then straightened and looked at Amy, "wait, you mother wouldn't let you have another slumber party because your cat ate your hamster?"

"Actually, 'Bubbles' belonged to 'Madame Curie' so that ending was inevitable."

"Then why was your mom upset", Bernadette asked.

"Because I humped 'Sir Isaac Newton' all night and I got him so wet that the smell never did go away" Amy replied with a straight face. "Mother refused to buy me any more stuffed animals after that night as well. But that's okay; I buy myself much better toys now. You might say my toothbrush is my second best friend" She said with straight face.

"Okay," Penny mouthed as she turned away and refilled her glass with wine.

"Oh I have some of the best toys," Bernadette said smiling as well, "Ones that even my Howie doesn't know about." She took the bottle from Penny and refilled her own glass. "Would you like some wine, Amy"

"Oh, no thank you, my Yoohoo is still cold" she said sitting on the couch next to Penny. "And thank you again Penny for the use of the PJ's." she held out her arms to admire her garb. They were bright pink, quite loose fitting, and comfortable. "I usually sleep in the nude but this will be such fun."

"So do I," Bernadette said as she sat back down in her chair, "I'm so glad I found this night shirt in the back of the closet." It was a loose fitting flannel in a pattern of browns, tans and grey and hung on her to only just above her mid thigh. She had the top two buttons undone exposing ample amounts of cleavage. "I dearly love flannel, but I just wish it weren't so hot tonight," she said while fanning herself.

Penny was in her customary pink satin top with its low cut and spaghetti straps and her powder blue silk boxers. Her long legs were soft and supple and her nipples easily protruded through the flimsy material of her top. She couldn't help admiring Bernadette's bosom and short but firm legs as she sat on the couch. She also couldn't help to notice that Bernadette wasn't wearing any panties. Wow, she thought, I think I've had too much wine. "So, what do you guys want to do?"

"Well according to the internet," Amy said "one customary activity at a slumber party is something they call 'Truth or Dare', and as the most Angelic and sublime of us, I think Penny should go first."

"Ah, that's okay. Why don't you go first Bernadette?" Penny said with a quizzical look on her face and downed the rest of her wine.

"Okay," she replied in her cute small voice, "truth!"

"Okay," said Amy, "Who many miles of blood vesicles are in the human body?"

"No, no Amy," Penny said as she began to pour the last of the wine into her glass. "It's not that kind of truth. It's supposed to be something about the person, something more personal or intimate. Wow," she said as she looked at the now empty bottle in her hand, "we went through that second bottle quickly."

"But this is only my third glass," Bernadette replied somewhat inquisitively.

"And I'm only on my second bottle of Yoohoo," Amy said perfunctorily.

"Alright, alright, shut up, don't judge me. I'll open another bottle," Penny said annoyingly and she rose from the couch, swaying a little in the process. "Maybe I don't need to open another bottle." She said mostly to herself. She looked over at her two friends, Amy was nearly gazing at her in wonder and Bernadette looked... well she just looked good! "Yea, I need that other bottle."

Bringing the third bottle of wine back into the living room with her, she had just started to take a drink from her newly filled glass after sitting back down at the end of the couch when Amy asked her revised question.

"Okay Bernadette, how about this. How big is Howard's penis?"

Penny spat up some of her wine.

"Wow, you took that seriously didn't you," Bernadette said somewhat taken aback. "Well if you must know my Howie is just a bit under six inches."

Penny wiped her chin, took a long look at her two friends and again downed the rest of her wine. Her night was progressing just as well as her day had. She had run into Lenard in the hall both upon leaving for work and upon coming home. On their second meeting they got into a fight. He kept wanting to know why she broke up with him and she couldn't give an honest answer. She couldn't tell him why because she really didn't know the answer herself. She could see the love in his eyes as well as the hurt she had caused and it tore at her. So she lashed out at him in her own pain and told him she never wanted to see him again. It was the biggest lie she had ever told and it shamed her to her core.

God but I need to get laid, she thought. She looked over at her friends yet again and lustful visions began to fill her mind. Where the HELL is this coming from, she chastised herself. She had never before ever looked at any woman sexually and yet here she was feeling her pussy begin to moisten at the sight of her best friends, at the sight of Bernadette's partially hidden, blonde, trimmed pussy.

"Well Penny?" Bernadette asked her. She had obviously missed the question.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you, what you want, Truth or dare?"

"Oh um, I don't know, truth I guess."

"Alright, why did you break up with Lenard?"


"Why did you break up with Lenard? We know you're crazy about him. What happened? Did he do or say something?"

Penny stood up finished her wine and said woodenly, "I'm done playing. In fact I think I'm going to bed. I'm not feeling well." She walked slowly to her bedroom and shut the door. She didn't ever bother getting under the covers as she lay on the bed and began to lightly cry.

"Well, that was fun," Amy said with a mixture of joy and satisfaction. "What's next?"

"I don't know," Bernadette replied. "What else does your phone say?"

"Well, we already gave each other makeovers and placed phony phone calls. The next thing on the internet suggests is eating raw cookie dough but as that is potentially hazardous I am going with what after that. It says that some women experiment with harmless lesbian sex."

"Where exactly on the internet have you been looking?"

Amy got up off the couch and started toward Penny's room, "are you joining me?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Amy replied, "You never could handle her raw sexuality, could you?" she turned and opened the door to Penny's room.

Bernadette's face was in shock. "I would have gone with the raw cookie dough."

Amy stood in the door to Penny's bedroom, looking at her bestie lying face down on her bed, softly crying. Her chemise and shorts were rumpled yet clinging tightly to her body and her golden hair was in disarray. She was quite the enigma to Amy. She was her best friend, her first true friend. To Amy she could do no wrong, or at least she could forgive her anything that she may do wrong. She had been thinking about her for a long time and still could not quite grasp her feelings toward her.

Penny was so beautiful; her smile could light up a room. She had so much strength about her as well, far more than she believed she did, it was evident to anyone smart enough to see it, and Amy was very smart. In short, Penny was the best woman she had ever known. If she could only be as brilliant as Sheldon, she mused.

Sheldon, now there was another conundrum. He was so masculine and pasty, and his mind was nearly beyond mortal men. The man made her moist simply by the way he thought. And yet she could do nothing to get him into her bed. She had tried so many times but he was all brains and no balls, as her dear Penny would put it. But she won't give up on him; she'll take his seed yet.

But back to her darling Penny, she thought. If she had Sheldon's mind she WOULD be perfection, even in her current state. Her oh so darling Penny, did she love her or was she IN love with her. She just couldn't figure it out. Well, she thought to herself, it's about time I find out.

She crossed the room, sat down on the bed next to Penny, and began to gently caress her hair. "It's okay Penny, you don't have to answer the question."

Penny rolled over on her back, looked up at Amy and said with a tremor of a laugh, "I know Amy. I'm sorry for that..."

Amy placed a finger on Penny lips and shushed her. "No need to apologize." She took a good long look and her bestie and marveled, her eyes were a little puffy and her cheeks were rosy form the drink and the tears. Her chemise had pulled down and was now exposing her perfectly pert left breast and her silk boxers were twisted and pulled up so much that Amy could see that her pubic hair was neatly trimmed above her lovely vagina. She could feel Penny's lips twitch beneath her finger. "You never need to apologize to me bestie," and she said as she bent down and ever so gently kissed Penny on the lips. Amy's mind seemed to blossom with light and her nether yaya became engorged. No, that was not right, she thought, not "nether yaya", not "engorged", not anymore, not with her Penny. No, Amy felt like her pussy on fire!

Penny didn't know what to think, she knew she was drunk, she'd been far drunker that this back home in Nebraska. Her mind was racing. Amy was kissing her. It may have started out as a sisterly consoling kiss but that's not what it was now. Amy was kissing her in earnest, with desire and yet she still fumbled like she wasn't sure what to do next. Penny knew what to do next. She didn't care anymore. She was tired of hurting, tired of feeling sorry for herself and tired of feeling alone. And Amy's kiss awoke a part of her that she could no longer deny. Thoughts of Bernadette's blond pussy flashed in her mind and she no longer cared, she placed her hands on either side of Amy's beautiful face and kissed her back. She opened her mouth and slid her tongue into Amy's mouth, who accepted it earnestly.

Penny took her hands from Amy's head and slid them down her face and neck till they reached her breasts, still within the pajamas she had lent her. She wasn't wearing her lace bra that hooks in the front; she had been planning this all along, Penny thought with wonder. Without caring Penny grasped the garment and tore it open, the buttons flying off. She brushed at both of Amy's nipples with the tips of her fingers. Amy gasped into her mouth and her whole body shuttered.

Penny then quickly put her arms around Amy's body and pulled her tightly to her, broke their kiss, and rolled them both over so she was now on top. She knew Amy was a virgin, so she took complete control.

Amy had completely lost her mind at this point and was loving it. Her Goddess was sitting up, straddling her waist and looking down with a gaze of both lustful abandon and what could only be described as delicious wickedness. Penny took hold of her chemise, pulled it over her head and tossed it away, her breasts were standing high and her nipples were erect. She reached down and took hold of Amy's hands and placed them on her firm breasts. "Like this," she said, using her hands to show Amy how to play with her breasts and nipples. "Hold my tits like this, darling Amy and play with my nips like this. Oh God yea, that's it baby," Penny shuttered as Amy did as she was shown.

"I told you that you had a shot at this wonderland of a body of mine," Amy said with a grin.

"Yes you did, and now I'm going to play." Penny began to undulate her hips, grinding her firm ass into Amy's pussy, thrilling at the reaction she was getting. She knew that Amy was on fire and she was going to enjoy every inch of her luscious body.

Penny leaned down again and kissed Amy hard, her tongue exploring, then she began to plant kisses down her body, from her chin, to her neck and stopping at her breasts. She gently nibbled upon Amy's nipples, and then sucked on them while flicking her tongue across the tips. Amy was groaning and whimpering by turn. While teasing her breasts, Penny slowly snaked her and down Amy's smooth stomach and into the bottoms of her PJ's, where she found quite a surprise.

"Amy," Penny said as she lifted herself up to look into her eyes. "That's quite a hefty bush you've got there."

"I know," Amy replied with a bit of shame in her voice. "I never could bring myself to shave it. It's not like it was getting any attention by anyone other than my toothbrush, Gerard."

"Well let's fix that, shall we?" Penny said as she got up and pulled Amy to her feet, pulled her close and again kissed her passionately before guiding her to her bathroom. "You always said that there wasn't a hair on your body that you wouldn't let me trim."

She stood Amy in front the toilet, got down on her knees, reached up and ever so slowly pulled down the bottoms of her pajamas. Amy was quivering as she lifted first one leg, then the other so they could be slipped all the way off. "It's not that bad," Penny said. "In fact it's quite beautiful." Amy beamed at the complement. "Now sit down while I warm up the water and get my lather and razor."

Penny got out a small tub and placed it in the bathtub where she filled it with hot water. She also got out her straight razor that she used on very special occasions along with a wash cloth and thick towel. "Now lean back, baby, I won't hurt you." She heated up the lather and applied it to Amy's bush, caressing it in. Amy shuttered with pleasure again. Penny spread Amy's legs as wide as they would go and began to slowly and lovingly remove all the hair from her pussy. Setting the razor aside once she was done she then wetted the washcloth and wiped away all the remaining lather and hair till Amy's pussy was spotless before gently drying it with the towel.

"There we go my love," Penny said, "it's perfect. And if I may say, it's one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, and I've seen me a lot of porn," she said with a chuckle.

"Do you really think so?" Amy asked shyly.

"I do, I really do." Penny said and then bent forward to place a kiss on her very moist lips. "Let's go back to bed now." Penny rose and took Amy by the hand and walked backwards so she could take in every inch of Amy's wonderful form. Upon reaching the bed she pushed Amy upon the bed and slowly removed her chemise and boxers. Amy gazed on in a mixture of wonder and lust.

"My God, I've wanted this for so long," Amy said is a wavering voice, barely able to control herself.

Penny then slowly crawled up the bed between Amy's open legs, kissing and caressing as she went before reaching her goal. Amy's pussy was open wide, like the petals of an orchid, and slick with dew. She bent down, kissed her clitoris and then gave her pussy a nice long lick. Penny never before had tasted anything like it, her first taste of pussy that wasn't her own and it drove her lust to a fevered pitch.

Amy let out a low moan that changed to a squeal as Penny inserted first one, then two fingers into her. Her mind was gone, no rational thoughts remained, just her lust for her dear Penny, just the feeling of her dearest bestie between her legs, worshiping her. She wanted it to last forever. It didn't.

From the doorway she could now see Bernadette, one hand between her legs and the other clutching at one of her breasts. Her face had a look of pure lust, as she licked her lips as if tasting what she saw before her. She saw that Bernadette's eyes were focused in on Penny's amazing ass, which was up in the air while she was between Amy's legs.

It was then like things were in slow motion as Bernadette entered the room and came to the bed. Her hand was reaching out to touch Penny's perfect ass, that's when Amy screamed, "No! Please don't, not yet I beg of you. I want to be the first. Please, please, let me be the first to taste her! I'll do anything you want, anything, just let me taste her pussy first."

Penny bolted upright, out of fear and shock before she calmed down upon realizing who it was. "It's okay, Amy, it's okay." Turning to her other friend she said with her voice full of wickedness and play, "Soon Bernadette, soon, but first why don't you come down here and taste of our dear Amy. I swear to you it's divine." Bernadette threw off her glasses and after Penny got out of bed, dove into Amy's pussy like a starving woman. She was savage and hungry, and Amy loved it.

Penny walked to the head of the bed; her eyes fixed on Amy's, and licked her lips. She bent down and before she kissed her said, "Why don't you have a taste as well?" Amy tasted her own wetness for the first time and realized that Penny was right, she did taste great.

Breaking the kiss rose up and looked her in the eyes again. "Now let's give you something to compare that with." Penny cooed as she got back up on the bed and straddled Amy's face. To Amy, it was like looking into heaven. She had dreamed of this so many nights and now it was coming true. She stuck out her tongue and took a tentative lick of Penny's cookie, it was amazing. She dove in with wild abandon. She was an Atheist but she now believed in Heaven, because she was there, with Bernadette ravaging her pussy with her lips tongue and fingers, and her purring into and playing with Penny's delicious kitty, there was no better place on Earth. She had so many orgasms that she lost count and she was especially proud that she helped Penny to cum time and again.

After some time Penny finally rolled off, gasping. "Okay, okay, give me a minute. My pussy is so sensitive right now." She crawled over and kissed Amy hard, "My God but you're good!" she got up out of the bed and stretched languidly, like a happy cat and walked to the end of the bed, to Bernadette.

Bernadette saw her coming to her out of the corner of her eye, stopped lavishing Amy's honey pot, much to the poor woman's chagrin, and looked up at Penny. Gorgeous Penny, slinking up toward her, covered in sweat, her blond hair a wild mess, a sexual Goddess in all her glory. She didn't know what to do; it was like a deer being caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. She trembles in anticipation.

When Penny got to the end of the bed she gently took hold of Bernadette's shoulders and turned her onto her back on the bed. "You do know that you are the reason all this really took off, don't' you? You were in there sitting all innocent on that couch in your little night shirt," Penny said and she ran her fingers along the lapels of the shirt. "You aren't wearing any panties. I know because I saw and it drove me to distraction. Images of your pretty blonde pussy kept dancing in my mind. It got me to thinking about your 'ample bosom', as our dear Amy likes to call it, that we've all been so enamored with," Penny crooned as she began to unbutton the night shirt, "and how much I want to see them, to touch them." She lowered herself down and kissed one of Bernadette's nipples, "to taste them," then she kissed the other. She enjoyed hearing the woman's gasp. "In fact," she said as she looked up into Amy's eyes and nodded before looking back into Bernadette's and continued, "I think it's your turn for some loving," and kissed and nibbled her way down her tummy before she came to her open legs. She bit Bernadette's left inner thigh, then her right before looking up into her eyes again and gave her pussy a long and hot tongue bath. Bernadette squealed and shook. She had never known this much pleasure. It was heightened as Amy then bent over her, kissed her passionately and began to suckle and play with her breasts. She lost all track of time.

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