Beating the Disorder

"You're so honest with me, Janice. I really want to be honest with you." I didn't have to see his face to know he was flushed with embarrassment and the memory of how he'd felt a few minutes ago. "...Could you tell me how you feel first, then I'll tell you?"

"Sure thing, sugar. I feel more alive than I have in quite a while and I have you to thank! I've known I was fit and healthy-but now I feel sexy and womanly-I feel younger, frankly. I feel great. I care a great deal for you, even though I didn't know you very well when you came here. And while my feelings for you were motherly in the beginning, they've changed. I suppose that's obvious!" I laughed a little and Terrison laughed with me. "I'm really happy: happy to have you for a lover.

"Now that I've said that, I should also admit that I'm a little scared. If your grandmama finds out we're fucking, she'll probably kill me. Do me a favor and don't tell her, okay?"

"Don't worry; Mom would kill me!" he said with a chuckle.

"It sounds like we agree about the wisdom of not telling your mom or grandmama.

"So, I've told you how I feel. You don't need to tell me everything, but would you share some of your feelings with me?"

He cleared his throat: a sign of lingering nerves. "It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt," he said. He finished with my hair and back and slid his arms around my belly. I put my arms over his. "Really...I hope you don't think I'm a pig...I'm hoping you said, '...we're fucking' because we'll do it again."

He didn't see my grin. He probably heard it in my voice, though. "You are one heck of a good listener!" I said. "Yes-I was hoping the very same thing. In fact, I was thinking I'd go crazy if you kept living here and I didn't get any more of that glorious sausage."

This time, I heard his grin. "You're one heck of a speaker," he said. "And since you said 'sausage,' I'm guessing you're going to-"

"-Hey, hey!" I said seriously, pinching his arm lightly. "Be careful. I don't mind talk that blunt, but a lot of women aren't thrilled to hear things like those said aloud."

"Really?" he asked quietly.

"If you're going to say it, at least use figures of speech. Go on, try one."

"Well, this is a bit awkward. Let's see...I hope you like hot and juicy," he said after a moment.

"Not bad, for such an early attempt. Most women wouldn't mind that kind of reference a bit.

"By the way, I do like hot and juicy!"

*X*X*

I woke on my right side, with Terrison's long arm lying on my waist. I felt very comfortable. A tall, warm man spooning me was nice first thing in the morning.

Sliding his arm from my body, I sat up. After a moment, I stretched. It was a good thing that I made a point of staying limber, or I would be cringing in pain from yesterday's exercises.

After the 5k and taking Terrison's virginity, I'd had a fairly normal day.

Until he was ready to go again, that was! Not long before supper, he'd hugged me from behind and I'd felt his hard cock pressing against my thigh. Not subtle, but I had definitely wanted it too, so I'd taken the hint and we'd gone for Round Two. That time, I'd given him oral for a couple of minutes; then I'd asked him what position he wanted. He'd gone for the tried-and-true missionary. He'd gotten off before I did, but when I started rubbing my clit, he took the hint and used his fingers on me. I was glad that he was a quick study; in about three minutes, I had the first orgasm he'd ever given me (or anyone!)

Before bed, I'd suggested that we sleep together in my room if he wanted. The conversation and the undressing led to Round Three. Just as eager and energetic as I'd anticipated! I introduced him to doggy-style. He loved it; the way he used his hands on my nipples and my pussy, I loved it myself!

Now it was a new day. I sashayed to the shower, conscious of my hips swinging as I hadn't been in quite some time.

*X*X*

I was wearing a summer-weight yellow cotton dress with printed red and blue magnolias when I returned to my room and nudged Terrison's elbow. It took him a few seconds to wake and remember where he was. Then he realized he was naked in my bed and pulled the blanket a little closer around him; it was cute! But there wasn't going to be any playing right now, so I kept my eyes on his.

"It's Sunday morning, sugar. Are you coming to church with me?"

He looked dumbfounded. Unfortunately, I'd seen that coming. Fortunately, I knew what misconceptions were in his young mind. "...Janice...we-wouldn't it be hypocritical to go?"

"It would not. Not at all."

Confusion and doubt showed in his sleepy eyes.

I explained. "I can tell you're worried about a couple of things. That's okay.

"Was it wrong for us to consummate our relationship yesterday? I don't know, honestly. But when you think about it, it doesn't matter much. We all make mistakes every day, isn't that true?"

"Yes," he said. His face was very open. I could tell that even though he trusted me, he wasn't willing to simply believe whatever I told him. That was good.

"So we, and everyone who shows up at church this morning, have done things wrong since last week. That doesn't make us hypocrites. A lot of people use the word 'hypocrite' without knowing whether it applies or not.

"If I went into church and didn't pray for forgiveness and wasn't thankful to God, I'd be a hypocrite. But I'm not going to do that; I'm going to be sincere when I confess and when I give thanks."

Terrison considered the idea. "I see what you're saying," he said slowly, "but I always thought of sexual things as worse somehow."

"That's due to the strange way our society emphasizes some things it considers wrong and downplays others. Don't worry, sugar. If you want to go to church, you can without being a hypocrite. If you want to come with me this particular morning, try to be ready in 40 minutes."

He went with me that morning. He often did-two or three Sundays per month.

*X*X*

Terrison ended up staying at my place for seven months. When he moved out (to an apartment much closer to the college which had accepted him for the semester that started in January) he looked and acted like a confident, strong, happy, wise young man. For the next three years, we had "lunch dates" or "weekend visits" pretty often.

*X*X*

Dionna came to visit me one Friday evening. It had been three weeks since I'd gotten together with Terrison.

I invited Dionna into the condo and we had tea together. My friend looked a little...sad. I knew she was visiting for a reason. Although I was curious, I let her take her time about telling me.

She set down her nearly-empty cup after we'd chatted a while. "Janice, I have to tell you this: Terrison's got a serious girlfriend."

"Thank goodness! The way you were looking, I was worried that he'd lost a lot of weight or something," I said.

She gave me a penetrating gaze. "You have a shoulder to cry on, if you want it," she told me.

I knew that she had found out about the kind of relationship we'd had. "I'm not sad," I replied. "Unless she's no good. But Terrison's a very nice young man and I hope he and she get married and have a family if that's what they want."

Dionna got up and came to stand beside me. "I don't know whether to be happy or angry or sorry or what!" she said. "Remember when Terrison started college? I went to help him move in. He broke down and bawled like a baby just when I was about to go home. He told me everything, including that he'd fallen in love with you."

"He said that?" I asked. Quite unexpectedly, I felt a lump in my throat.

"You'd better believe it. But instead of coming here to tell you off for sleeping with my baby, I cooled down and remembered that you'd saved his life. But now...I tell you he's serious about a woman and you're stoic. I'm wondering if he ever meant-"

Dionna stopped talking. I didn't have any idea why.

Until she wiped my cheek.

Then I did need her shoulder.

Once I stopped crying, she hugged me and I composed myself. "I loved him too," I whispered. "I always will."

"He'll always love you," Dionna said.

*X* The End *X*

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