Because I'm Not

She's the captain on the cheerleader team. I'm the smartest guy in school. Everyone knows who she is.

Few people know who I am. She's had plenty of boyfriends. I haven't even had one girlfriend.

She comes from a privileged family and is very flamboyant. I come from a family that can barely make ends meet. She's currently dating the most popular guy in our school. He's a football jock.

They met each other freshman year. She and I have known each other since childhood. She always ignored me. She always placed herself above me. My presence was only acknowledged by her when she needed me to do assignments and class projects for her.

Her name is Clara. She's tall and slim with light blonde hair and blue eyes. Her boyfriend Ryan, the football playing quarterback, had brown hair and grey eyes. He thought he was god'd gift to the world. I'm sure Clara would agree.

My name is Ethan, the ultimate nobody who happens to have a 4.0 GPA. I was blessed with my brains and a kind personality and that's about it.

Ryan was muscular while I was scrawny. Ryan stood tall at 6'5 while I stand at about 5'7. Clara is a good girl behind the i'm better than you facade, so why does she go out with losers like Ryan?

She loves animals. She donates to several charities and visits different orphanages regularly. I've known Clara since we were kids. Once upon a time we were bestfriends. Nope, she couldn't have that anymore.

Clara couldn't possibly enter high school as queen B and be friends with someone like me. She had to sacrifice something or someone. I was no exception. Unfortunate, but true.

Ryan is an asshole, and he gets great benefits. I am a gentleman, and I get nothing but negativity.

Ryan cheats on Clara, she promises to suck him off if that'll make him stay faithful. I defend her when a group of girls decide to crowd around her in the school parking lot one day calling her names, she gets mad at me!

I surprise her with flowers and a love letter, she calls me gross and desperate. Ryan slaps her on the ass and says all kind of derogatory statements and she grins like it's the best thing ever.

I ask her out on a date, she rejects me. He tells her they're going out, she giggles and says "okay."

Back before she deleted me out of her life, she would tell me about her love of writing. She would talk about how she wanted to be an author. I loved to hear her talk about her dreams. I told her I'd support her 100% in whatever she did in life.

I see her try to have deep conversations with Ryan from time to time but it never works. She's nothing but a doormat to him. He doesn't love her, let alone actually like her. But she's the most popular girl at school. She's also the prettiest.

He's the football team quarterback. He's Mr.Popular and Mr. Yes, I am better than you. Therefore he just has to date only the best, most deserving girl right!?

But he's an asshole. He's rude. He talks down to her. Every time they're alone it's to have sex.

Yeah, we're 18 so we're old enough but still, there's more to life. Hell, there's more to Clara.

I wish she would see and understand for herself. All she is to him is a girl. A girl who happens to be hot, popular, and captain on the cheerleader team. On top of that she never questions him and allows him to bang her whenever he pleases.

Hell yeah he's going to stay with her. Should I give up? Should I try to get over Clara? I don't want to. I've been in love with her forever. She clearly won't ever date me though. I'm a scrawny nerd who she'll never even consider as a potential boyfriend.

Ryan's a jock, who's rich like her. He's known, respected, feared, and envied. How am I supposed to compete with that? I can't. I shouldn't have to.

I'm a gentleman. I'm a good guy. I was nice to her. I was so giving but I never received. I tried and tried time and time again to impress her. Nothing worked, ever. Is there something wrong with me? Will I ever have a girlfriend or do they all want guys like Ryan?

I have to accept that Clara & I will never happen.

Clara likes guys who are tall, rude, and popular.

Clara appreciates guys who disrespect her and decides her worth based on her physical attributes. Clara likes guys who are bad news for her. She and I can never happen, because I'm not.

Comments and votes are greatly appreciated. If I need to improve something don't hesitate to let me know. I only ask that you do so respectfully without being rude. Thank you.